|
Jealousy issues
I am 15 years old and so is my boyfriend. There is this girl that he talks to that has been his friend for years. They both say that they are brother and sister type friends. I believe them but I have really big jealousy issues. This girl is skinnier than I, and prettier. I recently got into a fight with my boyfriend because when he went to his friends house she showed up. I ignored his calls and everything. Well, this girl Instant Messaged me asking me if he could go to San Francisco with her tomorrow to hang out with her and her mother because it is her birthday and she has no one else to go with and doesn't want to go alone. I want to feel sad and just cry thinking about. But they're just friends, right? Should I just let him go and face my jealousy and see if it helps me get over it? Or should I put my foot down and object of the whole thing?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I used to have the same problem. He was all LYLAS to the other girl, and i thought shes prittier then me, etc. but then i thought if that were really true then he would be with her...not me...I thought about putting my foot down to but then he would feel like he has no freedome and that your suficating him. I think you should just face your jelousy. and if anything happeneds between the girl and him then hes not the right guy for you. but you should let him know you trust him and let him go with her.
]
I'm sorry but I have a different answer than everyone else. You have every right to let your boyfriend know that you are not comfortable with this and it has nothing to do with the fact that they have been friends, it's him going on a little trip with another female. It may be an innocent friendship, but it's not innocent to the girlfriend.
The only thing I see wrong with the way you're acting is that you get jumpy when you find out that he went somewhere and she showed up. That is where you have to deal with the fact that he has friendships with other girls.
They will see each other sometimes and they will talk sometimes.
I really don't know how long you and your boyfriend have been together, but you have to be upfront with your jealousy so that he can comfort and assure you that you are the girl that he would choose over any other girls. And he should be absolutely understanding of the fact that you don't want him to go on this trip with her. Besides, this friend of his will be just fine with her mom since it's her birthday. She just needs to celebrate and spend time with her mom instead of dragging your boyfriend with her.
Plus, this isn't something to discuss with his friend. This situation is between you and your boyfriend, and if you don't start confronting your feelings and jealousy then you'll find that he just won't understand your outbursts and sudden anger. He also will start to get upset that you aren't answering his phone calls. Ignoring the phone calls will not make you more comfortable or feeling better about what's going on.
-TheTeenGirl
]
I'd deal with it. Trust me, if they've been friends for years, they don't see eachother any other way. I understand that you can be jealous, but take my word for it: they're only friends. My best friend is a guy and we've been best friends pretty much our whole lives. HIs crushes get completely jealous of me because we're so close. But any affection between the two of us would make us puke. So, I'm pretty sure they're only friends.
]
hun dont worry they are just best friends. my best mate is a guy and we call eachother brother and sister. but hes just a mate. and im sure these to are aswell. im sure theres nothing to worry about. she obviously asked if he cud go just cus of the fact hes her best mate.
if you think about it who else wud you rather take other than ur best mate.
if they have known eachother years and hes with you. theres nothing goin on between them. cus he cud of had the chance ages ago 2 go out with her if they liked eachother that way. but they are not together hes with you. you just need to trust him.
so dont worry hun they are just mates.
Love Zoe
xXxXxXx
]
So tell me, what the hell is wrong with having, say..a best friend that is a girl and the other best friend is a guy.
I'm in the same situation. My best friend is a girl whom I absolutely love to death and I have a girlfriend. Does my girlfriend mind? No because she trusts me and I am not gonna cheat on her. Don't let stupid emotions like jealousy cloud your judgement when you shouldn't have anything to fear. They are obviously close as friends.
And whatever you do, never, EVER object to that. It basically says your boyfriend can't have close friends that are girls. You telling him he can't is wrong, and under those grounds is an uncalled for demand.
Let them be, they aren't anything more friends and he is still your boyfriend. So if you want to put your foot down on anything, put it down on your jealousy.
I hope I helped, and remember what is said.
-Ryan
]
Well, I would ask her why she doesnt/didnt want you to go. And dont let Jealousy cloud your judgement, I`ll only cause you harm. And if she cant give a reasonable awnser then you know how she thinks of you. Any friend who`d chose a boy/girl friend isnt a Good friend, Just a friend. Treat her like you treat she treats you. Have little respect. And if she ask why, dont give her the respect by twlling her, cuz shes knows what she did. And dont show your anger. Good comes to the one who waits. And take notes on who your boyfriend acts. And guys dont always like the skinner girls! I myself and many of my close friends like some meat on a girl.
]
HI TO you
Just stick with him and meet her if they are just friends then you will have nothing to worry about you will know if they are just friends.believe me
sis321
]
Well first off - has either of them shown any sign that they are more than just friends? If so, that's when you should start worrying. But if not, then there's no need to. I know if I was in your shoes, I would be jealous & suspicious too, but that's just because some people aren't too secure in their relationship. They haven't established that solid foundation of trust. Before I get to that, you have to realize she was nice enough to ask you if you were okay with it. Obviously, she is concerned enough to make sure it didn't offend you or give you any ideas when she planned to drag along your boyfriend to California. I know deep down you want to hang on to him & keep him from going, but you can't be too controlling. It'll just show your boyfriend that you're insecure (true or not) & that you don't trust him. You should trust him enough to know that he wouldn't cheat on you. & if you can't do that, then your relationship lacks trust; without it, it is nothing.
]
More Questions: |