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I have a boyfriend but I'm getting caught up in other guys!
This is a long one.. So i've beeng going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months, but sometimes Im not sure if i really love him or not. Like sometimes when we hang out I just get this really good feeling like im totally in love with him. But then other times I get kind of annoyed of just little things that he does. And i also sometimes feel like he doesnt really "speak my language" if that makes sense. Like I feel like there's this wall between us where i can't completely tell him whats on my mind. A couple weeks before I went out with him I had just broken up with my previous boyfriend of about 11 months. Im starting to think that I just got sucked into my current boyfriend because I had sex with him pretty soon, so I felt like I was obligated to stay with him. But now I just can't decide if that was the right choice. I'm too afraid to break up with him though because he would be SO heartbroken and I'm also afraid i would totally regret it afterward! The other thing is that I've met a few realy cool guys lately, one in particular who is going to be a freshman in college. We met at a party and were both totally drunk but he keeps texting me wanting to hang out and stuff. We havent yet hung out but i really hope to before he has to leave for college, because hes a totally cool guy and not to mention quite attractive. But I also keep holding back because I still totally love my boyfriend. I seriously dont know what to do right now. This whole situation has elevated into a confusing mess and I cant make a decision. Please help me figure out what the right thing to do is! Thankkk you :) -age 15
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Tough situation but i cant say ive never gone through that! the first thing i want to say is do what you think is best for you. I just recently discovered that everyone should do what is going to make them happy. i mean ya your boyfriend would be completly heartbroken. but is it worth it to you to stay in a relationship your so unsure of? no. I think your afraid you'll regret it because you do care about him and your afraid of losing him. but you dont want him as your boyfriend? because your intrested in other people now? im guessing. But if you really love your boyfriend. and want to be with him. your going to have to be honest with him and tell him your feelings. just have a talk about things that bug you. like the "language" thing. maybe you can teach him how to understand your "language" ...
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I've never been in your situation, but I understand what you're trying to say. I think you might be right about you being obligated to stay with him because you were intimate with him. I think that if this guy were a guy you wanted to stay with, you probably wouldn't have too many of these down feelings about him. I mean you will have times where you'll question a guy, but if it's on a daily basis or once a week, then it's probably not right.
You also stated that you just got out of a relationship of 11 months. Do you know for sure that you're over this guy? It can be about 6 months from when you broke up with him and it would still be ok if you weren't over this guy. Getting over someone takes a lot of time for some people and it's normal. So if you find yourself still missing this 11 month relationship, you probably need more time.
You may have had sex with this boyfriend, and you may know that he'll be really upset if you break-up with him, but those aren't good enough reasons to stop you from breaking it off. Let this be a lesson for you: Remember to save sex for when you've been in the relationship for at least a year and it feels right. If you spend most of your relationships exploring sex, then you'll miss out on a lot of great things that should come before sex. I'm not trying to lecture you or tell you what to do, but as I friend I want you to know that theres a lot about relationships that you're missing out on.
About this Freshmen in college: I also want you to know as a friend that this guy is too old for you. I know you don't like that advice, but it's true. I really hate seeing young girls get hurt by guys who are way older. So please take my advice and don't consider him. You don't have to listen to me, but I've seen way too much happen to people and I don't think I could imagine what's happening with you.
Guys will come along by you, but your best bet is to find a guy around your age so that you'll have a lot more in common with them.
I know this wasn't an answer you were looking for, but I hope I made you see the same situation differently in good ways. Thanks.
-TheTeenGirl
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hey,
i have the same problem but it seems to happen with every guy i date, i get sick of them. I think you should tell your current boyfriend that you don't feel the same way about him as he feels about you and that you wana stay friends because you feel he is holding you back. I know this is hard but it is for the best trust me. You can't keep making yourself unhappy because you are trying to make others happy, you'll be so miserable. Remember, you're not obligated to anyone except yourself. I only wish for the best for you, good luck.
love,
Brittni
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