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Q: whenever im masterbating& stimulating my clit, it really only takes me a few seconds to get an orgasm. i would say it takes less than 10 seconds. and then after i get one, i dont feel sexual anymore. is this normal?

its completely normal, how long it takes you to orgasm depends all on the pressure you apply/how sexual you are feeling and how much that affects you. Because you masturbated you should feel a sense of release and not feel as horny, because that is the whole point of masturbation.

hopefully that answers your question for you.
anything else i can help with send to my inbox.
Brittni

Q: I HAD a problem. since i was 12 i started cutting. I dont know how to explain it to people that dont do it becuase its something you have to have gone through to understand. its like a drug i was addicted for 4 1/2 years, slowly killing myself. anyway everyone found out and i had to stop.
the question is like what am i supposed to replace it with. Ive tryed running writing (which is my passion) and everything in between. I just need some good advice as how to stop.
Please help, anything will be appreciated.

I think what will really help you is to get to the source of why you started cutting in the first place, was it a family issue, something with your friends, etc. Since writing happens to be a passion of yours (mine as well) i suggest you write down what makes you feel the need to do it, i understand there is a dependency to this addiction but people normally tend to look for an addiction to something when they feel a certain element of their life isnt being fulfilled, what you need to do is look inside yourself and figure out what you feel is missing because if you dont confront it you will never truly be okay. Keep a journal of your thoughts and jot down anytime you feel you need to express something inside of you and re-read what you have written. Eventually it will become clear to you what you need in your life through your writing.

good luck anything else i can help with please send it to my inbox.

Brittni

Q: 14/f

I'm a freshman and I didn't do too good in middle school. Well I pulled it all together at the end and promoted to high school. I'm so scared that I'm gonna fail. Everything is easier said than done. But seriously, I've been so stressed out because of math. Mainly math and biology. If you look at me, people think I'm an A+ student. My grades aren't THAT bad but still. I had A's in PE and health. And English and French I had B's. But math and biology I have D's. I'm barely pulling this off and if I don't get this together I'm so afraid. For one thing, I'm afraid of my future. That's what scares me. I don't think I'll be able to amount to anything. I have low self esteem but I don't really feel like getting into that. I would talk to my teachers and everything but its just so confusing. I'm in the basic math, algebra, and second semester is always harder. I have these headaches and I'm pretty sure its coming from stress at school. I think I'm overreacting but everybody in school talks about their future, what they want to be, college, ect. I have no idea whatsoever. I don't know if I can make it to college. That's what I'm scared of, if I don't go to a college that my life wouldn't be as good as it could be. I know I'm in 9th grade but I don't want to go to summer school. I would try tutors but I never have the time. I have issues at home and really wouldn't make it after school. My biology teacher is so confusing, even if it was one on one I couldn't get it. Please help, thanks. I'm stressing too much over this.

What you need to do is take a breather, just stop and look at what you have accomplished. You made it to high school, that is awesome. Sure the future can be freaky because you dont know what to expect, but you made it so far already. Take a look at your past, the change for elementary to middle school im sure at the time that was scary because it was something unfamiliar to you but you did just fine with the transition. Remember you are not alone in this talk to other peers who are feeling the same way you are about the future, start checking out careers/colleges that interest you and see what kind of standards apply to be accepted. By looking and exploring options about your future it may help you settle a bit because you have an idea of what you want to accomplish instead of going out into the world with no clue. As for getting your grades up, i suggest if you can come in before school and get at least 15min of help a day and ask if there is any extra work you could be assigned to get your grades up, remember teachers acknowledge you more for your effort. As well take into consideration that colleges love to see improvement in your grades from freshmen-senior year so if you arent doing so hot right now honestly its not a big deal, as long as you can boost your grades in the math/science courses as you continue your journey through out high school. So relax, take a break and go out with some friends over the weekend, it might just be what you need and during the week just look into colleges/careers , study with some friends, make an effort to e-mail your teachers about not understanding something if you can't come in after school.

BUT biggest thing to remember is that your not alone in this, everyone and i mean everyone is thinking about the future at one point or another not only in high school but once you hit college and your career and so forth, its all how you handle it and by not letting it get to you so much by having some fun with friends to relax and investing in making a plan for the future for security may even help you perform better than you ever were before.

good luck anything else i can help with send to my inbox
Brittni

Q: Ok I will make this as brief as possible.

I am 18/F, been dating 21/m for about a month.

First date no kiss, second date kiss, third date nothing, fourth kiss, fifth nothing.....

but he keeps asking me out, is he just nervous?

He's also told me he "wants to make sure it's right" before committing to a relationship. Which I think I can understand if he really means what he said...

I'm confused. Does anyone have any idea whats going on?

To me it sounds like he is just uncertain if he wants a relationship with you yet, therefore he is trying to feel you out. He also probably is nervous as you thought, because he may think you are not interested in him. A question for you, who normally gives the kiss you or him? If he does, maybe you should step it up and kiss him to let him know you are feeling him, guys actually like when girls make the first move, it takes some of the pressure off of them. Also, I would straight out ask him what he considers you guys to be either friends or in a relationship/interested in starting one, instead of having the whole mind game situation going on.

hopefully this answers your question, good luck.

Brittni

Q: Lately my life has been not at it's high point. I feel like I cant achieve anything! It seems like I can't do a thing...I really dont know what to do for life and how to boost my self esteem...help please??

I think everyone goes through this at least once in their life, especially when things in your life aren't going well. You just have to remind yourself of who you are. Something that helped me was to write down all the good characteristics about myself on a piece of paper and read it back to myself, then refer to it whenever you are feeling down and/or ask someone close to you what they like about you. Or what may help is going out and doing something you always wanted to do, such as learning a musical instrument, get involved in some sport, or even pick up an odd job that you find interesting. You just need to get out and do something so you feel more useful and get your mind off of things going on in your life that seem to suck. Everyone has something that they are good at stick with it once you find it and give yourself praise when you do a good job of it.

i hope this helps you out.
anything else i can help you with feel free to send it to my inbox
Brittni.

Q: Hey I have a best friend who eats not so healthy food. He wants to play college baseball and in addition I am worried about his health. He is about 6 foot but I think 300 pounds. I am really worried about him. What can I say or do.

It's always a difficult to tell a friend they are overweight and due to that you fear for their health. What you have said here is a great start, the best thing you can do is be honest. Start by telling him you are afraid for his health because he is eating so poorly and you dont want him to have to worry about health concerns in the future. Explain to him how you know him playing basketball is important to him and maintaining his health will only increase his chances of performing better which will help him become noticed so he can play college ball. Let him know you are only doing this because you are concerned about him, try to be sensitive with word choice because the whole subject im sure is touchy. Tell him if he wants you will join a gym with him and help him get in shape, inspire your friend, even choosing healthy options in food, exercise, etc when he is around to help him stay in check would be a great idea.

if you need any help with things to say/do leave me a message in my inbox, i hope this helps you out and your friend becomes inspired to loose the excess weight.

Brittni

Q: Ok so I'm 17 and I haven't had the best luck with guys lately. I told a guy I really liked how i felt about him and he completely lied to me =[. Another guy i went out with for a few weeks likes me again and I really do not like him that way just as a good friend. This new guy came into my life and he came to my party and was really flirty with me. I was then told that he was thinking about me by a friend of my ex-boyfriend. I finally thought things were turning around but then this friend told me that he asked him if he liked me and he said no not as a girlfriend =[ but that there is always my ex-boyfriend. I cant decide if they lied to me about what this new guy said or if he actually doesnt like me. What should I do differently? What do you think this new guy really feels ? Sorry if that was confusing. I just need some help dealing with this situation when nothing seems to be getting better. Thanks

One thing i learned in my life is not to believe everything someone says, people will end up taking advantage of you for that fact and i would take that to thought in this circumstance. The boy who told you that this new guy doesnt like you could of been lying so that you would go back out with your ex, but then again he could of been telling the truth. To make sure of this i would befriend the guy you like to get an idea of how he feels about you and make you're own judgement. To get what you want you have to put yourself out there when the opportunity is presented to you, you can be subtle by saying how you really want to go to see/do "insert something you know he and you both like here" then see if he asks you to see/do whatever it is with him, you may even have to ask him to do that certain thing if you are feeling confident enough to do so. Just dont give up on the thought of him liking you because of hear say, you'll never really know until you figure out for yourself.

hopefully that helps you out some, good luck!

Brittni

Q: I recently just started giving my boyfriend head. I know what im doing for the most part, but what are some things that will really spice it up? I don't want to bore him but i'm not so sure what to do besides the normal sucking and that stuff. HELP!

well what your doing sounds fine guys just love head in general. if you're not already swirl your tongue around the penis and you are moving up and down. As the other person said below me the tip of the penis is a good section to focus on because thats where a whole lot of nerve endings are located, swirl your tongue around it in a circle formation and where the hole is gently apply pressure with the tip of your tongue. Also while you are doing this you can take one of your hands and place it to cradle his testicles and with some pressure play with them. Even changing the position you give head in, such as your head facing him, or your butt, he could even pleasure you while you pleasure him by facing head to genitals.

hopefully that gave you some new techniques
anything else i can help you with feel free to send to my inbox
Brittni

Q: Over a week ago I began taking the pill. The one called Dianette because i suffer from bad skin aswell. After a couple of days of taking it i noticed my moods dramatically changing. I get mardy and upset at the slightest things. I snap and get angry a lot too and its beginning to affect my relationship. I was taking the same pills for 3 months starting in about august and had the same effects. Has anybody else had this experience with these pills? Will I adjust to them if i take them for more than 3 months or would you advise going back to the doctor and asking to change pills?

I have had a similar experience where i would find myself getting upset over dumb things and getting angry at the slightest thing and end up laughing about it, i just had to do something stress free or go out with friends to help relieve the emotional roller coaster. I eventually adjusted after a week or two, you see the pill is contributing to more estrogen production that your body is not use to which tends to make you more emotional than usual. I would wait it out and if you do not feel like your moods have come back to normal (which they should once your body adjusts) then go to your gyno and see if you can get a lower dosage on your pills or even a different brand that your doctor suggests.

any other questions feel free to ask
Brittni.

Q: Where did the term 'crush' originate?

below is the answer to you question i got the answer from
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-cru1.htm

"This is yet another expression, originally American, which is now known all round the world. It’s first recorded from the 1880s, but I can’t give you the full story of where it came from.
There was an older usage of crush, now obsolete, for a social gathering such as a dance or reception. It was a colloquial borrowing of the standard English sense — such gatherings were often extremely hot and crowded and the prevailing women’s fashion for large skirts could hardly have helped matters. It’s known from Britain in the earlier part of the nineteenth century: the first known written example was in a letter of 1832 by the historian Thomas Babbington Macaulay: “I fell in with her at Lady Grey’s great crush”. By the 1860s, the same word was being used in the US — an early example appears in the Southern Literary Messenger in August 1862: “In the hatroom at a ‘crush,’ is the air freer from taint, because the men are fresh and young?”.It seems possible that the word was borrowed again to refer to a romantic entanglement that originated at such a crowded social gathering, not because the couple were literally thrown together, but because such events were among the most common ways at the time for young men and women to meet."

hope that helps
Brittni

Q: 16/f
about two weekends ago i was at my friends house and her brother and his friend who are both freshman were there. we had a lot of fun and just watched movies and stuff, i met her brother and his friend there for the first time. well a week after that my friend told me that her brother's friend, jef, really liked me and said all of these things about me that i was really hot and had a good body ..he asked if she had any naked pictures of me, he asked as a joke but i think he was serious..that kind of make me ..eh. but anyways so then he asked for my number and it was good. then he never texted me so i was confused..so i went on facebook and IMed him then he was asking how far ive gone, and when i said 2nd i dont think he was too happy to hear that but whatever. then he asked if i liked him and i said yeah and he said its cool i dont know though ill have to think about it. and i read that and was just like uhm..what..so i asked and hes like just text me i got to go. so i did and he told me, "im too involved in school and basketball right now, i dont think having a girlfriend is that good for me" so basically, he broke up with me, and we werent even going out. which is so weird. i didnt even ask to go out with him. then a week later which was friday night, my friend, who is his best friend's sister, was over. and he saw that my status on facebook said, "with sarah" so he IMed me and was like sarah and i got so pissed. he didnt talk to me for a WEEK but now that sarahs over, he suddenly wants to talk through me, to sarah?! she doesnt even talk to him. so then whatever after a few pointless conversations we had i was like, "did you IM me to talk to sarah" and hes like, no why? and im like because you never talk to me and now that sarahs over you are..and hes like, what do you mean i talk to you everytime your on. and im like uh no you dont..but thats okay. and hes like fine ill talk to you then if thats ok with you. and i was just like uhh..its not my choice, you can do whatever you want. and then hes like, what do you mean do whatever you want? haha. and i was just like wow. thats not funny..no so im like, haha wow. and then he was like can i ask u a question? and im like yeah and hes like, do you stil like me cause adam said you did..(adam is sarahs brother who jef is friends with) and im like..how would adam know i dont even talk to adam. and hes like i dont know he was guessing i guess. do you? and im like well alright, i liked you a lot last week, but then i thought it was kind of weird how you made it out like you really liked me but then told me you didnt want to go out with me..and hes like, ok yeah im just kind of confused about stuff right now. and i was just like, thats fine but you didnt have to tell you didnt want to go out with me if you didnt want to. you kind of let me down, and i didnt even ask. and all he said was, sorry i mean your great. like..uhmm? what? so im just like yeah now you tell me, do you like me? and hes like, well i dont know not as much as i did..i kind of like someone else, and i only saw you that one time i dont know bout you. and i just wrote, okay. and hes like yeahh. and im like just promise me that next time we see eachother things wont be akward. because i mean your a cool kid like i dont want something like this to ruin it. and hes like, yeah no prob. and maybe if i get to know you better maybe well i dont know. and im like haha its fine i just dont want this whole thing to ruin a friendship, i hate it when that happens. and hes like, ok sure i got to go though so lets talk on the cell right now ok? and then he texted me and we talked about the movie step brothers then he said how much fun that night was when we all hung out togethor and then he said he had to go to sleep so i said night and then he never talked to me or texted me since then. i knew he was going to do that but whatever. so last night, i wandered onto his facebook..and some girl, wrote on his wall and was like, hey!! im staying up for you tonight so text me

wow that was very long and in depth, my point of view on this would be that it could of been the fact he didnt know you that well and wanted to get to know you better before he got involved with you, but you were being a bit too invasive and meanwhile he was confused because there was another girl in his life that he knew better and has had his eye on who also felt/feels strongly about him.

ANYWAY YOUR ANSWER to move past him.
first off stop talking to him, at least so often, that makes things more difficult.
what i suggest you do is go out with your girl friends to a movie, mall etc scope out the guys there. there are plenty of boys out there your 16 you have so much life ahead of you which means lots of cute boys will cross your path, keep yourself busy. Think of it as you dont need a guy who is unsure of what he wants, you need someone who knows what they want, not a guy who goes around flirting with various girls. Try your best to keep your head high and realize you dont need a man to complete you, believe me. Keep yourself focused on your friends and other things at hand, maybe they will even have some cute guy friends you can meet that will blow this guy you met the other night out of the water. Keep your options open and dont commit to one guy too quickly. And in the end he'll be the one who wants you back, not you wanting him.

hopefully this helps you anything else please feel free to send it to my inbox.
Brittni

Q: 16/m
Two questions
1.) Do girls like it when a guy shaves their stuff?

2.) What's the best way to shave down there?

Thanks in advance.

1. i prefer it shaved but if you keep it maintained, trimmed or whatever thats fine too. JUST DO NOT let it get crazy down there, its a huge turn off.

2. best way to shave down there is take some shaving cream apply it like you would if you were shaving your face, then shave, go with the hair to avoid razor bumps. its really that simple.

anything else i can help with feel free to send to my inbox.

Brittni.

Q: I have lost some weight... and I was woundering how can I get rid of my love handles?

exercise which of course seems like an obvious answer because you've got to increase your metabolism, green tea can even help you if you want to drink a cup in the morning for a boost. below are some good exercises you can use to help decrease those unwanted love handles.
http://www.flat-stomach-exercises.com/love-handles.html

but dont forget to incorporate that with cardio to help shed more weight which will help in the diminish of love handles.

hope that answers your question, if you need more exercises or anything else please send it to my inbox.
Brittni.

Q: heyy
im the same person that asked about the manager issue. thanks for that :)
but i have another question .. we were messaging each other yesterday and he asked me what qualities i liked in a guy and i told him, and then he was like "I can get fired for fraternising with crew" and i replied saying "Ha dont flatter yourself :)" and then he replied saying "I never do, but is it just coincidence that i loosely fit what you just described" and i was like "I guess it is a coincidence" then he said "Well i say that rules are there to be broken, you just cant get caught" and i said "Yeah true"
does that mean that he like rejected me in a nice way? please be honest i dont want you to say things just to make me feel better.
at work today he was nice to me and gave me the job that i like to do most and he kept looking at me and staringg.
i dont know what he is doing!
please help..
thankss :)

this is actually a very good sign that he likes you, by him saying the rules are there to be broken means that he would break the rules if you liked him back because he does like you that much, believe me i would never lie to anyone to make them feel better, i think honesty is the best policy. So you know he likes you, now it is up to you because you have to think do you want to risk him loosing his job to be with him/or you loosing your job there, or do you like him so much its worth the risk? just make the decision you feel is right in your heart and follow it through.

hope that helped you out.
anything else please ask.
Brittni.

Q: bottom line:

he calls or texts me maybe twice a week if im lucky

we hang out once a month

and i only see him at school between classes for two minutes once a day

we have been together almost 3 months

but liked each other for over a year

every time i talk to him about how we arent close he gets mad and tells me to end it

what should i do?

you cant have a relationship based on what you said above, you have to be able to easily talk about things to the other person and it sounds to me he is being irrational. my advice would be to try talking with him once more, tell him you never see each other and whatever else you feel you need to say, if he isnt listening to you i think that is a good enough reason to end a relationship or whatever this is because believe me its not going to get any better, if anything you are not going to be able to get what you truly need out of a relationship while being stuck with a guy who is unable to express his feelings to you let alone SPEAK with you about an issue, and in the end you'll just end up frustrated and have all this wasted time that you cant back, or there is a possibly it could escalate into a matter of cheating because there is not fulfillment in the existing relationship.

remember communication is one of the key elements in any relationship for it to work well.
if i could help you with anything else please ask

Brittni

Q: hey
well i work at mcdonalds, and i have a thing for my manager. he is only 3 years older than me which is okay, and hes not store manager or anything.. i just need to know, how do i get his attention? he always makes fun of me (not being mean) coz im really clumsy and trip over alot and then says that i always blush when i get embarrased, and he tells people i laugh alot and get embarrased easily. i really like him so i want to know how i can get on his radar hehe. how should i catch his attention and make him want me too?
thankss x

best thing you can do is be yourself, be self assured.
dont be afraid to flirt back/ joke back, pay him compliments, hint at what he is doing after he is done work but dont exactly ask him to do something make him work for it guys like that type of thing.. hard to get, the key to it is you need to know when to stop playing hard to get for example when he asks you do something then accept that offer. if you want him bad enough you can get it, just dont seem too desperate.

anything else i can help you with feel free to send it to my inbox.
Brittni.

Q: In 2000 my grandparents got divorced, by this time I was seven years old, & I didnt think old people was supposed to divorce, needless to say, my grandpa had found someone over the internet. He left my grandma, I see my grandma almost everyday, but in the past 8 years, I bet I could count on one hand how many times I've seen my papaw, and I could count on maybe three fingers how many times he's told me he loves me since the separation.
This Christmas was the first Christmas I'd seen my Grandpa in a longg time. I miss him soo much, I'm so afraid that I dont have much time to restore our relationship. And something else that doesnt help, this woman, that lives with him, wont even let me see him. I use to call, when I was little, to go over to their house to see him, and she would say that I wasnt invited, and it was rude to invite myself, and anyhow they were busy. I dont have any other grandpa, he died before I was born, and I'm just so angry, and hurt, that my grandpa, the only one I've ever had, wont even take the time to call me, to tell me he loves me, he wont even wave when he see's me.
I was watching this video tonight...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCoViK0G43Y&feature=related
& it instantly reminded me of him. He's not going to be here forever...
Please, I just need someone to talk to, someone to comfort me.
Thanks, all is appreciated.
15/Female

thats awful, im having family issues myself and i know how tough it can be, just remember to talk about it, do not bottle everything inside you. my advice to you would be to try and call him again and tell the woman he is living with about the situation if she still does not comply then i suggest you write a letter to your grandfather expressing how you feel, how you want your relationship to grow but every time you try some one else is pushing you away from him and it hurts you. Explain to your parents what you are doing and how you wish to send him that letter and if you dont get a response to that ask your mother/father to go over there and personally talk to them, because as you said he isnt going to be around forever and to show you care enough to go over and make things work. (the lady he is living with could be withholding info from him) but realistically there is always that risk that things may not work out, which is sad but its on your grandfather not you so never feel like its your responsibility for not making a great relationship with him. I honestly hope that everything works out for you though you seem like a very sweet girl.

if you ever need to talk send me a message to my inbox.
Brittni.

Q: A few monthes ago me and my ex had sex. It was both of our first time and it only happened once. (I wasn't sleeping with him to get him back or anything). The whole thing just kind of happened, but I felt good about it.

A few nights ago I was talking to him and he said sleeping with me meant nothing to him and I got really depressed about it, and started regretting the whole thing.

How can I make myself feel better about this whole thing?

im going to be completely honest with you, loosing your virginity is something that you dont get over too quickly being a girl, some girls just wont admit it. i understand you said you didnt want to get back with him, but for you to choose him as your first there has to be some history behind you guys. But what does help you is not feeling guilty about sleeping with him, it all starts with you not blaming yourself and stop thinking why does he not care, why did it mean nothing to him? what you have to do is just stop thinking about what happened and do something about the here and now, which is try and move past what happened. You know something guys brains function differently when they have sex its perceived as pleasure, they dont even put it into the same category as love (normally) Its hard still i understand, but just think no one else can ever take that away from you and once you move past this you grow so much stronger, i know i matured so much and realized what a man thinks of me is not important or even if they enjoyed having sex or even if it meant something because if it didn't then im only one step closer to finding that person who it does mean something to.

so to wrap this up, just remember to not blame yourself, dont worry about what he thinks because he is no longer that important aspect in your life (even though thats hard because of what happened.) once you start to realize these things and become okay with it you will truly become a stronger woman.

if there is anything else i can answer for you please ask
Brittni.

Q: okay well i am going to have sex for the second time and i was wondering if it was going to feel good this time and if i used the condom properly if i would get pregnant also we are using spermicidal lube.

thanks

sex for your second time no doubtably will feel better than the first time but its not going to feel great, at least for most people. once you start having sex more often it will start to feel real good and progressively feel even better. as for a possibility of getting pregnant, its always a possibility, nothing is 100%,you see a condom is about 90% effective and spermicide is about 71% effective, it is good you are using protection though. but i suggest if you are planning on having sex on a regular basis to go on birth control just to take extra protection, birth control is 99% effective, and remember that birth control does not prevent any stds/aids so be sure to use a condom on top of it.

anything else i can help you with feel free to ask.

Brittni

Q: okay i'm a 16 year old female. i like watching porn. usually lesbian porn, but i'm straight. i like guys, but for some reason watching lesbian porn really gets me like horny and i "get off" if you will, from lesbian porn. is that weird? could i possibly be gay?

no i dont think thats strange at all. I mean sure it is possible you could be interested in girls, its an age of experimentation, its probably just something that triggers in your mind when you watch it because its something new and unfamiliar, the possibility of what could be. or it could possibly be that you can relate to the girls and how they feel. to me though it seems like its just a curiosity, you have feelings for boys as you said. so dont worry about it.

anything else i can help you with just ask.

Brittni.
ps. and the porn ive seen most of the girls are more into it than the guys, just something ive noticed, so that's enough to make you feel horny.

bio

Hello there the names Brittni, I decided to make a site on advicenators because i wanted to help others with their struggles, its a passion of mine, i hope one day to achieve my dream of opening a center for teens. Let it be known that i will never judge you based on a question you ask, i will simply give you an answer i find fitting, but dont expect me to candy coat my answer, im going to be honest. In the past i have been faced with many difficult things and looking back i am confident i made the right decisions. I've been through a lot personally, i've heard a lot, I've seen a lot, I've grown a lot. Heck, i know im not perfect but im the best version of myself i can be which is perfection in my eyes. I know sometimes speaking to someone you know about your issue is hard, trust me i've been there. Just like i have helped others i am here to help you with the best intentions. So i am here for you if you need me.

never feel hesitant when asking me a question, leave me one in my inbox and i will get back to you as soon as possible.