i started a bar and grill with a partner, the idea was to create a place of happiness in a world of internet cynicism, serving America Pie, drinking whisky and rye, but the second night the music wouldnt play,evidently my partner caught the last train for the coast,aint it funny how the ones pointing the finger are the guiltiest of all?it can be argued that we decide which is an illusion, but what cant be argued is a persons actions (or lack)say more than their words, no matter how sweetly crafted. "Smilin faces, show no traces! Of the evil that lurks beneath!!!!!!!!
While I'm elated to hear from you, I'm confused by your letter. Are you accusing me or yourself of bailing?
I was employed at said bar and grill and had a great time that first night despite a two faced, lying, devious troll who giving me grief behind the scenes to the point where I was frightened. When he started attacking me offline, I sent out a couple of distress signals to my "Knight in White Satin" but got absolutely NO response other than a goodbye type of letter. So I figured he wanted nothing more to do with me. I was crushed and have missed him sorely ever since. Therefore, I think the last line of your email goes both ways.
Of course, I'm willing to write this all off as some sort of miscommunication and mabye start a similar business (on a different site) again. Mr. Knight is more than welcome to call or email at the number/addy previously provided.
I hope he realizes that his poem is still a very treasured piece of literature and is still read to this very day.
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I have a pritty complex problem. Jist is i'm 22, female and live in the UK, yet have no idea where to go from here. When I was 15 i was diagnosed with depression and OCD and have been struggling with it ever since. I was quite bright and really wanted to go to uni, though I could never make my mind up what I wanted to do and bcos of my depression and OCD I found it impossible to keep up with my studies or be on time for anything so I dropped out. Whenever I went to seek medical help, I was put on a waiting list and finally got appointments which I could never then make on time so they kept discharging me and I never got help. I dropped out of education and have since had a few dead end minimum wage jobs which I have consequently been sacked from for being late. I now have one where I just manage to get to on time, but its a huge struggle to do so and is only a few hours a week. My self esteem is now zero and I still can't make up my mind what I want to do and am afraid if I enter education again, I wont be able to keep up with it as I'm a severe perfectionist, can't make another job or classes on time and I still don't know what I want to do. Also because i'm 22, I now need to pay for all ed, which I can't afford on this terrible pay packet. I want to study many things at once and don't have enough money to do so.
Also, I have been going out with my boyfriend for over a year and a half and a few months ago found out he liked someone else - basically after an argument I said we were over and so he went out with mates I said I wouldnt be at The house (I moved in living there for about 6 months now) so he came back with them plus these girls I had never met and didnt expect me to be there. I didnt want it to be over and was really upset and he basically spent the whole time with a particular girl and crashed with her on the sofa. Then a few days later, we had made up but were on shaky ground by then, he went out with friends again got drunk and rang my phone by accident after I text him and left a voicemail saying about him fancying this other girl and calling me a psycho. I left him again but he begged me back, I said only if one you stop getting rat assed drunk and never even see her again at all. He agreed to these. This though has destroyed what little trust I had left. He would hide girl mates from me, all of which would be hitting on him. Even one time we were in pub he had made an effort that night had been there once or twice before and disappeared to toilet for like 20 mintues so I was like where were you - petting a dog. Bascially he had actually been hit on by this girl and gave her his number then proceeded to lie to me about it and then text her for the remaining night - I was livid bout it. I also said never go near her if you want to be with me. So no contact until this month where I go away with mates and leave him in town and he spends all night with this girl and then lies about being with her. I have no trust left no and am so heart broken cos I fell in love with him and he tries to say he loves me but I don't understand how you can fancy someone else if you are in love with a person. I cant do it. Trouble is I live at his house and want to move out yet have no where to go. I feel stuck in this crap relationship just cos i am stuck living here. I just want to go. I still love him and being here is too painful. Since Jan this year there has been problems with other girls and I cant take it anymore. I use to trust him and let him do his own thing, but it seems I was never enough. This has made me feel even worse, so the other day I got hold of the shot gun he legally owns and tried to kill myself, but he caught me before I could pull the trigger. He just took the gun off me yet didnt even try and be there for me when I just needed someone. How is that love on his part?
Now basically the only time I leave the house is to go to the 20odd hours a week job. I have basically shut myself away and given up on life. I dont know how to get out of all this. I feel anxious of people when I leave the house as I feel they will just ruin me. I have only a few friends left, but they are not ones I can depend on or turn to. I cant depend on my boyfriend/ex as he freaks out if I ever talk about how i'm feeling. Is it possible for me to become an inpatient somewhere where I can perhaps get some intensive treatment and get away from here because I just dont see the point in waking up each day, have no clue where to even start sorting my life out and so just want to end it because dying has got to be better then living in misery every single day. Is there any other agencies, funding or anything that can help me to get my life back on track, help me get into education again or just get well. Please help x
Also my parents are getting divorced and have sold the house, so I cant go stay with them. I don't know where they will go. Sorry this is really long, I just thought detail would be best
First of all - get out of that relationship and his house IMMEDIATELY. That situation will not help you deal with your own issues but will only make them worse.
Where to go? Hmmm......your parents are divorcing? Are you close to either of them? That's the one you should try to stay with.
The fact that you tried to take your own life with a gun speaks volumes and you actually provided your own answer in your second to last paragraph. Granted, I'm no doctor/counselor but you sound like a definite candidate for inpatient treatment and you should have been sent there right after the gun incident. (Thank god your bf found you when he did!) Please investigate that possibility.
Since you live in the UK and I'm in the US, I'm not familiar with what services your country can provide for you but I'm certain there's some sort of government or social service entity you can go to who can direct you to the right place. Please promise me you'll make that call today!
You sound like a nice, intelligent gal and the world needs more people like you! Don't give up on yourself.
P.S. Are you taking any meds for the depression/OCD? If not, you might want to look into that as well. If you are, you might want to see if your dosage needs changing. (Which is quite normal when taking psychiatric meds.)
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As Eric lost his? not to mention her old man?I understand and live the premise of CHANGE THE WORLD. Perhaps you could research this and report your feelings. thank you
I think you've changed many worlds with your keen insight. At least I can think of one in particular.
Ride on, Graybeard, into the sweet dark night from whence thou cameth. You will be missed.
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She and Long Tall Sally run a restaurant where you can get anything you want.ceptin Alice.. They got everything Uncle John needs but Im not getting any, so I stone rolled to Jaggers Joint, where, u might not get what you want, but do get what you need. Thanks to you, dear Chakkuri, I at last know what I want, and though I will never have it. it is Something to know it does indeed exist, if only for another.And I am unashamedly proud to have known it.Graybeard with the Blues.
There was once another gentleman, a brilliant and talented wordsmith like yourself, who was in a similar predicament. Perhaps you're familiar with his work:
What'll you do when you get lonely
And nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.
Layla, you've got me on my knees.
Layla, I'm begging, darling please.
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind.
I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down.
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned my whole world upside down.
Layla, you've got me on my knees.
Layla, I'm begging, darling please.
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind.
Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain.
Layla, you've got me on my knees.
Layla, I'm begging, darling please.
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind.
(Insert kick ass guitar solo here.)
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This is the Graybeard Biker again. I told my problem to a slick lady named Grace on an airplane bound for Jefferson and she had some questions and advice. "dont you want somebody to love? Dont you need somebody to love??wouldnt you like somebody to love? You better find somebody to love!"I have decided to take her advice and yours. I will tell the fair lady My aim is not to confuse her heart, rather tomultiply her joys in being adored. I have a progidious amount of love that allows no pleasure in retention, only in being given to a worthy damsal. Tis truly better to give than to receive!Cheerfully, voluntarily committing to the adoration of another on the terms of their self evident loveliness is the most noble gesture , a fitting epitaph for another life, uselessly spent,and which is an illusion?
Dear Graybeard (any relation to Bluebeard?),
Wow, Grace sure is a chatty wench that asks a lot of questions, ain't she?
I'm certain the fair lady in question knows your most noble intentions and is very appreciative not to mention extremely flattered.
By the way, when you were chatting to Grace, did you ask her what ever happened to 10 foot tall Alice?
- chakkuri
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I am a 57 year old graybeard biker who should know better BUT I have recently met a lady online that I feel a great empathy for. I know internet romance is just that, ,I also, know she is happily married. I have no wish to upset her life.I just want her to know that I wish I had someone like her in my life. Its too late for me now, for all sorts of reasons. I just want her to know how much joy she has brought into my life, and I would like to be on the fringes of her world for as long as she will let me. all it would take is a change in her husbands work schedule for her to have no need of me and our online communications. I think that is even more evidence of her good character. Is it wrong for me to let her know I love her, in my own sad little way? Should I take the chance of telling her how shes brightened my days, and I have no wish to complicate hers? Or do I skulk about in silence, like a stalker keeping my feelings to myself, and leave her unaware of the charms I feel she possesses?-- A knight in white satin
Dear Mr. Knight,
You sound like a very intelligent man with keen insight as well as the heart of a poet. I'm certain the lady in question would be very flattered to know how you truly feel.
It sounds like you have a good healthy grasp on the reality vs. internet romance thang. Hopefully she does as well. If you are both on the same page, there's no reason why your cyber-relationship as it were could not continue. It's been said that "We decide which is right, and which is an illusion."
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I have been having anxious feelings/ pre panic attack. Im in college and when i went home for the weekend I had the feelings like every day there which was 4 days. Because i had so many, now i am freaking out trying to figure out what caused me to have it and makes me want to avoid those situations. My boyfriend came up here and i was fine all week, now that he left today and went back home and i might go home next week, i already feel reallyyyyy anxious and it makes me not want to go home. Im not sure why i feel this way, because normally i would be soo happy to go home, but my fear is knowing i have to say goodbye and leave.
My head and my bodys reactions are ridiculous and unnecessary, i just need some help or advice on what i can do to control these feelings besides getting medications
Hi,
I've suffered from panic attacks for over 30 years and when I saw the title of your post, I was compelled to answer.
First of all, let's put aside for a moment the reason for the panic attacks and focus on the "attacks" themselves.
You must first remember that these feelings that feel so scary and so powerful are only TEMPORARY, just like other feelings such as joy, sadness, anger, etc. Feelings are NOT facts and they will eventually fade.
The secret is to not be scared of these panicky feelings or tense up against them if you feel them coming on. Doing that will only increase the adrenaline in your body and will feed the panicky feelings and only prolong your suffering.
There's an old formula for dealing with panic and it's called the F.A.F.T. method:
F - Face your fear
A - Accept any feelings it may bring
F - Float through the feelings and continue with what you are doing. Take it slow if necessary.
T - Time - give yourself plenty of it. Don't rush it or you'll only prolong the suffering.
When I first started have panic attacks 30 years ago, there was really nothing out there on the subject so I felt so alone and hopeless. Now, I'm happy to say, that you can go to a site like amazon.com and type in the word "anxiety" and THOUSANDS of books will pop up. There is a lot of literature out there on the subject that you might find helpful.
Once you learn not to let the panic bother you and it ceases to become a problem, you might want to tackle what brought it on to begin with. You mentioned that you had the panicky feelings about going home and having to say "goodbye." You should explore that a little more but NOT until you've coped with the panicky feelings FIRST.
I sincerely wish you all the best. Please write back and let me know how you're doing!
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Okay, I live with my mom and my step dad.
they BOTH smoke. my step dad works on a boat for 4 days out of the week and then come home for 4 days. when he's gone my mom will smoke in the garage because she knows I hate the smell of it.
but when he's home they both smoke in the house.
(the living room) my question is; if I go in my room to get away from the smoke am I actually getting away from it? or am I still breathing in cigarette smoke! i've seen that commercial on tv where there is now a cigarette that lets out water vapor, instead of smoke and its not unhealthy for the person! I want to get it, but im a kid so I dont have that kind of money.
my stepdad REFUSES to quit smoking, and since its not "my house" I have no say so as to where he goes to smoke.. HELP!
Wow - I really feel for you. Smoking is basically an addiction to nicotine that can be very difficult to give up. But it can be done. Your parents just need to get to the stage where they are ready to do so. Sounds like they are not quite there yet.
In the mean time, hanging out in your room to avoid the smoke is a good move. (Going outside is even better but I know you can't do that ALL the time.)
If your parents refuse to quit, I don't think that asking for smokeless ashtrays or even an air purifier for your room are out of order. Who knows? Maybe your asking for those things might be the wake up call they need.
If worse comes to worse, if you know that your stepdad is coming home for four days, you might want to plan stuff that involves staying out of the house as much as possible. Go visit friends or if you have a back yard, create a nice place for yourself out there.
Best of luck. Let me know how it turns out.
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I don't know how I feel about my boyfriend anymore.
We used to be so happy together. I still love him, but I don't know how he feels about me. Now I just feel like he only wants me around when there's nothing better to do (or if he needs me for something). We see each other at school and everything's fine. But that's just it. After school, we just go home and that's that.
I don't know if I sound extremely needy saying this, but nowadays he just hangs out with his friends ALL the time and never even bothers making plans with me. We haven't done anything together on the weekend in over a month. We hang out after school sometimes, but that's extremely rare now. We usually just end up going to his house or a fast food place, and half the time I have to suggest it. If I ask him to hang out on the weekend, he always says he already has plans. We don't even communicate on the weekends anymore; if I don't IM him, I won't hear from him until the next Monday at school.
It didn't use to be like this. When we first got together, we'd spend every Friday together. And this went on for months.
I'm finding myself really jealous of my friends' relationships.
To some extent, I feel like he's a kid and I'm like the kid's shiny new toy. When you first get the toy, it's exciting and you just want to play with it all the time. But after a while, it gets old and you seek other toys to play with.
I've considered breaking it off with him, but I care about him SO much and don't know if it's the right decision. I also don't know if I'm overreacting or not.
I haven't talked to him about it, either. I feel that if I do, he'll just start making plans with me not because he wants to, but because I bitched about it.
What should I do?
The fact that you are not communicating on the weekends and only see each other at school is very telling. It sounds to me like your relationship is more of a platonic nature. There is actually nothing wrong with that as you can never have too many friends.
Have a nice, casual conversation with your boyfriend and see how he feels. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way and doesn't know how to verbalize it. (Guys can be like that! LOL)
You seem very insightful and I don't think you're overreacting at all.
Lastly, don't worry about your friends' relationships. You will find love when the time is right. In the mean time, take the time to celebrate and cherish the most important person in your life - YOU!
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Cual es tu pecado? Be honest.
Mi pecado is answering questions from total strangers! LOL
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okay i live with my mom only && i`m an only child . but sometimes she dopesnt trust me . and i really wanna hang out with this boy i like and my friend will be there with me of course but i dont know how to ask her ! but i think she will let me if she knows my friend is with me bc i wouldnt hang oiut with him alone . any suggestions on how to ask her?? asnwer quick thanks
I am the mother of an only chlid so I can only relate to this from you mom's viewpoint.
1. I think you should talk to her face to face. Pick a time when she's relaxed and can give you her undivided attention. The worst time to talk to us parents are when we're in the middle of something or - God forbid - we're just getting home from work! LOL
2. Give her as many details as possible: Where are you all going to be? (The mall, a party, the skating rink, at a mutual friend's house, etc.) Will there be any adults or older sibs around.
3. Regardless of what happens, use every opportunity to show your mom how responsible you are. This gives you a better chance of a "yes" in the future. :)
Best of luck to you.
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alright... soo. A couple of months ago my mom`s boyfriend let me put my mom's $400+ computer desk in my room. I always ruin things and i told him i wasn't sure if my mom would really want me to put it in there. So he was like just put it in your room. My mom said i could use but not long.. Everything was going fine except like a month ago i had the door on the side of the computer desk like a foot open to let the deck of the computer breath and then i went to get up real quick and bumped my knee in it.. i didnt notice till later when it was broken!!! ahh just the top part where it holds the door is broken it cracked right at the part where nails go in and i seriously cried. i dont think i can repair it myself. but the worse part is ive been hiding it from my mom and everytime she goes in my room i make sure she doesn't see it or i stand in front of it. it gets worse.. my mom asked a couple days ago if she could have her computer desk back and she'd get me a new one.. i was like ooh i dont feel like taking everything apart and stuff. and she was like ok well i wanna do it soon. im so scared to tell her. she'll ground me and get really mad at me. i mean me and my mom are like best friends and she knows i can be clumsy and ruin things. but its an expensive desk. =/ like a year ago the keyboard part broke off when it was in the computer room and my mom was going to get a piece for it or just return it and never did. i mean the computer desk is a piece of crap too. i cant ask my moms boyfriend for help because he is strick and mean and will completely ruin it for me. my questions are how should i tell her? should i just let her see it herself eventually or confess soon? :/ what are some good topics to tell her.. thank you for giving advice. i hope someone can help..
You probably won't want to hear this but - you should face the music and tell your mom as soon as possible. (Don't go through the boyfriend.) As a parent myself, I would rather have my teenager confess his wrongdoings rather than discover it myself later.
If your mom finds out herself that the desk is broken, she will not only be upset about that but she will also be upset with you for not telling her. That's a double whammy!
Okay, she'll get mad. But believe it not, she will also get over it. We parents get upset with our kids but we will ALWAYS love them in the end, no matter what.
Good luck. Let me know how it went. :)
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