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We've Grown Apart
In 2000 my grandparents got divorced, by this time I was seven years old, & I didnt think old people was supposed to divorce, needless to say, my grandpa had found someone over the internet. He left my grandma, I see my grandma almost everyday, but in the past 8 years, I bet I could count on one hand how many times I've seen my papaw, and I could count on maybe three fingers how many times he's told me he loves me since the separation.
This Christmas was the first Christmas I'd seen my Grandpa in a longg time. I miss him soo much, I'm so afraid that I dont have much time to restore our relationship. And something else that doesnt help, this woman, that lives with him, wont even let me see him. I use to call, when I was little, to go over to their house to see him, and she would say that I wasnt invited, and it was rude to invite myself, and anyhow they were busy. I dont have any other grandpa, he died before I was born, and I'm just so angry, and hurt, that my grandpa, the only one I've ever had, wont even take the time to call me, to tell me he loves me, he wont even wave when he see's me.
I was watching this video tonight...
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
& it instantly reminded me of him. He's not going to be here forever...
Please, I just need someone to talk to, someone to comfort me.
Thanks, all is appreciated.
15/Female
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
My advice to you would be to write your grandfather, and to discuss your feelings with your parents.
That first thing, writing him, will help you know you've expressed yourself to him clearly and make sure you know that he knows, that you care and desire a relationship with him.
The second thing, talking to your parents about this, will help prepare you for the response to your letter, which could be good or bad. Talking to your parents about your grandpa, about his life and the way he behaves will help prepare you for how he might respond, and to understand why his response might not be the one you hope the most for.
You might also ask them to invite him over more often, so you could see him.
There is probably a lot of hurt feelings and drama going on in your family that you aren't aware of. The way to deal with that is to start the dialogue with your parents about your grandpa, to keep asking questions and to make sure that everyone understands what YOU want from this relationship.
You might not get what you want. It might be too much to ask for from these people. There might be too much pain to let go of for the adults around you. But at least then, you'll understand, and you will know that you've been clear and honest.
It's tough, because most familys rather not talk about things that hurt as much as a divorce like that must have. However, it's the only real way to step forward in this situation.
You can do either things, the talks or the letter, at the same time, or one before the other. Trust your instincts on what is best and do everything you can to get honest input from your mom and dad AND to share your honest feelings about the rift.
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thats awful, im having family issues myself and i know how tough it can be, just remember to talk about it, do not bottle everything inside you. my advice to you would be to try and call him again and tell the woman he is living with about the situation if she still does not comply then i suggest you write a letter to your grandfather expressing how you feel, how you want your relationship to grow but every time you try some one else is pushing you away from him and it hurts you. Explain to your parents what you are doing and how you wish to send him that letter and if you dont get a response to that ask your mother/father to go over there and personally talk to them, because as you said he isnt going to be around forever and to show you care enough to go over and make things work. (the lady he is living with could be withholding info from him) but realistically there is always that risk that things may not work out, which is sad but its on your grandfather not you so never feel like its your responsibility for not making a great relationship with him. I honestly hope that everything works out for you though you seem like a very sweet girl.
if you ever need to talk send me a message to my inbox.
Brittni.
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I'm so sorry about that! It must be SUPER hard for you. :(
If you need someone to talk to, I'm totally here for you. My advice, though, would be to talk to your parents about it before you try calling him again. They'll probably have a solution. That's why parents are there: They help you get through things you can't get through on your own. And friends, of course, would help too.
Hope that helps... (:
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