imperfection_isbeauty's advice column

askimperfection_isbeauty

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Ok...I'm just going to come right out and say it... What is spotting? People on this site have been talking about it and I have no idea what it is, they say it when they ask about periods and stuff like that...So what is it???
&&hearts

its like when your beginning your period.. and you dont wear a pan or tampon.. and your period leaves blood on your underwear. hahaha ya odd. but thats what it is!

Q: SORRY ITS LONG i think im becoming anorexic because i never eat and well i eat but not alot.Yesterday i tryed to throwup on purpous but i couldt.Im scared for myself also iv been getting depressed latly and thinking about cutting i used to cut but i stoped because one of my ex friends told the school. I would never kill myself because i dont want to go to hell. After i cut myself i always feel so bad but i think i just feel that way because i dont want to get caught again.Boys and girls are always saying how hott i am but i dont think i am.I think im fat and ugly and i hate myself.It started around the time i started going out with my boyfriend.I cant brakeup with him because hes suacidel and i like him a real lot also he says i love you to me and i need to hear it.I need help! i need someone to talk to.DONT say my mom and dad because my mom has a deadly sickness and they have unuff stress and i dont realy trust any of my friends because i dont want them to tell like befor.Ohh ya i love to get hurt because i love the Sympathy and so i make when ever has happened worce. THANXS

You have alot going on. It seems that when your under stress you just keep adding to it thinking it will help but you just drag yourself in deeper. The mose important thing is to stop the cutting. Its really unhealthy for your body, and if you keep it it could become rutine. As for the other problems it seems they all tie together as selfesteem problems. I agree with not talking to your parents. (they tend to make situations worse) But if you need to talk to someone I'd really love to help you. My SN is (ihearrtyou2) for aim. And email is (ihearrrtyou22@yahoo.com) please talk to me and don't be afraid. I've gone thru alot of the things i read up theyre. so i know how your feeling.

here for you. _kylie

Q: i am a girl, how do i make the first move?

just be confident and make the move. guys love it when girls are confident and make the first move. so just do it [:

Q: Is it ok for a 13 year old girl to look at naked guys on websites? My friend is 13, I am 15, she looks at porn a lot. I just wondered if it was appropriate. I know its her business....
Please tell me

Yes to some extent its appropriate. She's just curious. It's better than her actually doing things with guys wouldn't you say? But yes its appropriate! And completley normal

Q: who is the founder of the Hechts department store? btw i already no its gonna be macys

Morton May [;

Q: Hes easily jealous, yet he thinks it okay.
He gets mad at me for talking to people from work and hanging out with them.(whom he doesnt know) But he's in a band, and has girls coming up to him all the time, and people he talks to from schools he used to attend (whom i dont know) I put up with being second to his band, but sometimes its too much. What is a good way to explain that he gets mad at me for the same things that he is doing? Bluntly, whats the nicest way to tell him hes a hypocrit?

Sounds exactaly like my ex boyfriend. He loves attention but he doesnt want you to have it. he might not trust you with other guys. or hes just really insecure and doesnt think you love him that much. honestly the nicest way to tell him is just lay it out flat. tell him the truth. tell him how you feel about him but say that his jealousy is ruining your relationship.

anymorequestionsjustask! [:

Q: This is a long one.. So i've beeng going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months, but sometimes Im not sure if i really love him or not. Like sometimes when we hang out I just get this really good feeling like im totally in love with him. But then other times I get kind of annoyed of just little things that he does. And i also sometimes feel like he doesnt really "speak my language" if that makes sense. Like I feel like there's this wall between us where i can't completely tell him whats on my mind. A couple weeks before I went out with him I had just broken up with my previous boyfriend of about 11 months. Im starting to think that I just got sucked into my current boyfriend because I had sex with him pretty soon, so I felt like I was obligated to stay with him. But now I just can't decide if that was the right choice. I'm too afraid to break up with him though because he would be SO heartbroken and I'm also afraid i would totally regret it afterward! The other thing is that I've met a few realy cool guys lately, one in particular who is going to be a freshman in college. We met at a party and were both totally drunk but he keeps texting me wanting to hang out and stuff. We havent yet hung out but i really hope to before he has to leave for college, because hes a totally cool guy and not to mention quite attractive. But I also keep holding back because I still totally love my boyfriend. I seriously dont know what to do right now. This whole situation has elevated into a confusing mess and I cant make a decision. Please help me figure out what the right thing to do is! Thankkk you :) -age 15

Tough situation but i cant say ive never gone through that! the first thing i want to say is do what you think is best for you. I just recently discovered that everyone should do what is going to make them happy. i mean ya your boyfriend would be completly heartbroken. but is it worth it to you to stay in a relationship your so unsure of? no. I think your afraid you'll regret it because you do care about him and your afraid of losing him. but you dont want him as your boyfriend? because your intrested in other people now? im guessing. But if you really love your boyfriend. and want to be with him. your going to have to be honest with him and tell him your feelings. just have a talk about things that bug you. like the "language" thing. maybe you can teach him how to understand your "language" ...

if you need anymore help just ask [:

Q: I'm going into 9th grade at a Catholic high school (not that the fact that it's Catholic matters, mind you). I've never had a boyfriend, but I do talk to guys. I want to get a boyfriend next year. What is your advice for this? What can I do and how can I act?

Its a good time to start dating. You might be nervous thought talking to guys you really like because you've never had a boyfriend. If you are my advice would be to try and push that aside. Guys love a girl with confidence. & definatly be yourself and noone else. If your not yourself then you will just be miserable in your relationship. if you have any more specific questions about this ask! [:

Q: Ok. Well i liked this boy and he was giving of signs that he liked me to the problem is that when i asked him out he had to say no because he felt he wasnt ready to date. I got really depressed and now i feel empty. My friends are telling me that i could do better but i feel like hes the only one. Whats my problem? HELP PLEASE!!!

Trust your instinct. Do what's right for you. Your friends are probably saying you could do better because..

1) they dont want you depressed
2) theyre jealous
3) they dont like him and they dont want you to be close to him

those are jsut guesses! but you dont have a problem! you just really like him. and hes probably afraid to get close to you. i say you should send more signs and talk to him more.. so he'll get more comfortable around you! hope ihelped! [:

Q: Where would yu buy a hooter's girl shirt?

You can order them offline from hooters.com or you can get them at the resturant! but thats all i know of! hope i helped ! [:

Q: i am 13 years old and i have developed breasts but i still havent gotten my period yet. I know that all girls are different but i just want to know when i will get it and if i can wear tampons when i do.

You'll get it soon. Some girls dont get theyres until theyre 16! But it seems as thought you'll get yours soon. And yes you can wear tampons! Just make sure you change it every 6 to 8 hours. !! [: hope i helped!

Q: tonight when i was with my boyfriend i suddenly got bored and didnt wanna be with him anymore. i started having thoughts of breaking up with him. but then like 10 minutes later he was holding me and i felt so happy! i LOVE the physical attraction we have and hes really funny but im not sure if hes right for me cause i cant always be the crazy, hyper person that i am. is it bad that i was having those negative thoughts or is it normal? any advice will be appreciated!

Definatly normal. With my boyfriend I'm more relaxed than i am with my best friends. I think everyone is. Don't worry about the thoughts everyone doubts theyre boyfriend or girlfriend! But make sure you trust him. Because it seems that you might not trust him to be yourself around him. but if that isnt the case. If he makes you feel happy .. hes a keeper [:

Q: let's say... you're not really skinny.
I mean not like really really fat.
but not skinny.
let's go for chubby.
so you want to buy new jeans, can you well more like.

do skinny low rise jeans look good on you?
like latest abercrombie jeans, I would try them on if I could. But unfortunately I do not live in the united states of america. so my question is, do skinny low rise jeans look good on me?

(yeah I'm trying to lose weight so zip it)

I really need an honest answer THANK YOU!

Go for them if you like them. Go for them! You should wear what you like to wear. be comfortable with your body. Plus skinny jeans are in! and theyre super cute! But honestly go buy a pair! I know you might be worried you wont look good in them but dont worry! If your not comfortable wearing them than thats another story! but if you like them and you feel comfortable in them. OF COURSE you should wear them. and they will look super cute on you [: hope i helped!

Q: hi, i'm a 14 yr. old girl , and to make this short i'm an ideal weight but i still have a belly bulge under my belly button.I've heard that I'm still growing and it will go away and I'll get a flat stomach. Should I be worrying about this? Other girls seem to have flatter stomachs than mine and they are the same age as me. Am i developing slower than them? please help.

No you SHOULDNT worry! you are growing. I had a bulge too at that age and my cousin does. some other girls may have smaller hips? or they just arent growing! but no you shouldnt worry. If you want it to go away now id just do some crunches or something! but dont worry! it will go away [: hope i helped!

Q: Whats A goodd love / sad movie? One kinda like The Notebook && A Walk to Remember ... and some good movies about dancing likee Honey && Save the Last Dance? Ones that are out on DVD pleasee =) .. thankss bunches

OH MY DEAR LORDD!! tristan and isolde [: amazing movie. you'll love it. thats a great love/sad movie! dancing movies? i'd say center stage. i thought it was a pretty good movie. also i know alot of older 80's dancing movies. Just ask if you want those! [: hope i helped!

Q: I'm 13 years old and I really want to have a BF. However, I know that most BF/GF relationships usually begin by being friends 1st. How can I become friends with boys?

Just be yourself, and start talking to boys in your classes or try and plan like a group movie. so your with your friends and some boys to. that way you can meet new boys! just be confident. guys love a girl with confidence! and try not to be fake either, or extremly open! hope i helped [:

Q: Hi. I was wondering how you give a hand job. I know you touch a guy's "thing" but is there a certain way to do it?

First of all, make sure you dont tug at it. because as everyone knows a guy's "thing" is really sensitive. Also make sure your in a comfortable position. you dont want to be getting arm/hand cramps! And itstead of using your whole hand just make a ring with your thumb and index finger then you just move up your hand up and down. Make sure you don't go straight to his "thing". maybe rub his inner thigh first. that area is extra sensitive. just going straight to his "thing" will make it harder to pleasure him.

Hope i helped! [:

Q: My friend that is 12 years old acts really slutty and doesnt have any self-respect. shes really selfish and ugly. she dresses like a corner girl. how should i tell her to straighten up?

Your friends probably very insecure about herself. If it really bugs you. you should definatly just tell her how you feel. if your honest it will turn out better in the end. Just say it calmly & in person. Make sure you let her know your not trying to hurt your feelings. hope i helped [:

Q: my mom dosent care what other people think about thongs i need a real good way to ask her like... i dont know thats why i need help to ask her... should i e- mail her or should i talk to her in person? im afraid shell get mad!!!

I think emailing her would be the best way for you! If you just explain and be like i was scared to come to you but i know i always can. It will make your mom feel happier.. and take the stress off? hope i helped [:

Q: what's the major differences between middle school and high school? i am going to be a freshman and i'd like to know some hints & the major differences. also, whats the first day like? thankyouu muchly.

Freshman year is a big difference from middle school. The one thing ive noticed is people maturing. theres a lot less drama! One thing thats hard though is you can't slack off. You need to keep ontop of your assignments and projects. Absents are a huge problem also, (especially in science -labs and such). I think you'll love high school. you have alot more freedom and you meet new people! Theres a whole bunch of activities to do. That would be one thing id encourage you to do. If your involved in a sport or would like to do drama or something! getting involved makes highschool that whole much better.

My first day was scary. If you have a class with one of your good friends just keep anticipating it during the day. Just tell yourself " oh yes im going to see _____ soon!" Also the first day/week you can be late without problems. and the teachers are really nice about you adapting to the school. && don't worry about upper classmen. we arent as mean as people might say [: and if some upperclassmen are mean or the pick on you just ignore them. they'll get bored and leave you alone!

some hints? you'll get the hang of all the tricks and stuff half way through the year. If you have a more specific question just ask! [:

bio

HI. My names kylie. && i will turn 16 on July 25. I go to barrington High. && i completley love it. I love giving advice to anyone and everyone. No matter what it is i just feel right answering peoples questions.

If you need advice fast you can always IM me. I'm always online. Even if i'm not there i'm signed on!

Anythiing you want to ask. ?
ask it!