about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

Hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and my boyfriend asked me to have sex and I love him and i know iam ready but the thing is what should I tell my mom?

Don't tell her. She doesn't need to know all the intimate details of your life. It's none of her business. If you feel obligated to tell your mommy about having sex, you probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place. There are many things to consider when you are deciding to have sex. Being "ready" doesn't just involve being mentally ready. It means being ready for any consequences that may come of it. If you get pregnant, are you ready to make a decision about keeping the baby or not? If you would keep the baby how would that affect your life? Are you okay with that? Is your boyfriend okay with it? Have you even talked about it with him? Okay, so you're planning on using birth control (I hope). It might not work. What then? Sex isn't about love. Sex is about reproduction and responsibility. So many people take sex much too lightly. Some of them get lucky and nothing happens. BUT some of them don't and are faced with extremely difficult situations that affect the rest of their lives. You said your boyfriend asked you. You didn't come up with the idea on your own. Having sex should be a mutual thought. Him asking you puts a lot of pressure on you. It may give you a false sense of feeling ready. Sex isn't a favor to give your boyfriend. He wasn't wrong to ask. Not at all. What's wrong is for you to so blindly say yes when you probably hadn't answered the question for yourself just yet. Love makes us blind. That's why you can't make your decision based on love. Make your decision based on potential consequences. So many thoughts are swimming through your head right now. What if I say no? Will he be disappointed? Will he break up with me? What's the chance that something bad will happen? It'll be great because we're in love right? These are not good thoughts and do not justify making the decision to have sex. Please reevaluate whether you are ready or not. Sex is a big thing, not just the next step in any old relationship. You can get the same physical feelings and pleasure in other ways. There is no need for sex. Don't get me wrong. I'm not lecturing you. I'm not saying don't have sex. If that's what you want to do, go right ahead. I just want to make sure that you understand what you're getting into. Nobody can stop you. Just make sure that you are truly ready and that you use as many birth control methods as possible and know everything about them. Take care and good luck.

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There is a guy who likes me as more then friend and i told him i liked him to but now im not so sure. What should i do?

You have two options. Date him to find out whether you like him or not or when he asks you out tell him that you're not ready for a relationship at this time in your life. My advice would be to date him. Wait until he asks though. That gives you a little more time. It's the best way to figure everything out. Give him a chance. If you find out that you really don't like him, just break up with him and tell him you're sorry it didn't work out. Good luck!

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if a guy older than you who you like is pressuring you to have sex or oral sex and you are not going out and are only friends is he only in it for sex? btw im 13 hes 16

If he hasn't expressed any interest in having a relationship with you yes, he probably just wants sex. If he has shown interest in having a relationship with you, he may have other intentions. Since he's your friend it may have been hard for you to see the signs he was giving you that he liked you. He may feel like he's trapped in the "friend zone" and doing something sexual with you is the only way he can get out of it. It's the easiest way to "trick" you into thinking of him as more than a friend and possibly date you. DON'T do it, but try to read more into his intentions. Look at his relationship history. Was he into those relationships just for sex? He may, in fact, want something more than just sex, but there's no way to tell from your question. If he does want something more, he's just going about it the wrong way right now. Give him a chance to redeem himself, but don't give in to his offers for sex. Good luck!

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Alright guys, i'm in track, 8th grade female. I think i have shin splints and i think i like tore something in my ankle.

First off my shins are bruised and they bruise when i run, and they hurt! like when i shave, i go up & down with soap on my shin, but it hurts to bad to do it anymore.

Second I twisted my ankle a month or more ago. When i hold my foot and let at a 90 degree angle, and stretch my foot out to an obtuse angle, it HURTS SO BAD! today during track, well, i almost died.

Should i go to a doctor?
any advice?

YES! Tell your coach about everything and stop running until you see a doctor! You could injure yourself so much. Your doctor will either tell you not to run for awhile or give you stretches and other things you can do to reduce the pain. Listen to your doctor. You don't want to end up needing surgery. Good luck!

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Hello, i am a fourteen year old girl and i just got my first job this year. I know i'm young and not supposed to have a job, so i don't want to lose this one. I thought it would be great to earn money and have something to do. I don't mind the actual work. What i do mind is my boss. He's always screaming at me to do stuff. Sometimes i stay after an hour or two(without getting paid for the extra time) just so he won't be mad or yell at me. I would always talk about him or swear about him to my friends behind his back.

Now, two days ago, i find out that he has some kind of mental condition that causes his head to hurt awfully and cause him real pain. I feel really bad that i was mean about him, but i don't know what i should do. I don't want to be yelled at every day of the summer, but i also don't want to lose my job.

I've had a similar problem before. The best thing you can do is talk to your boss. Tell him exactly how he's making you feel. It's always best to be completely open and honest. He probably gets the impression that you don't like him that much. It's not that hard to figure out if someone is talking bad about you behind your back. Talking to him will make him respect you a lot more and it is the responsible, adult thing to do. Make sure you keep it as professional as possible. That means no yelling, swearing, or any sign that you don't respect him that much. Be nice. It should work if it's done correctly. If it doesn't work, either deal with it or find a new job because nothing is going to change. Good luck.

P.S. this is not a question about your boss being gay. Gay means that he likes men. Try not to use that term in that context, it makes people mad.

Haha, yes gay does also mean happy, but that's definitely not what you were referring to. Try not to joke about it either there are a lot of sensitive people out there. :)

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ok so ...

theres this goth/skater/punk/whatever the freak he is. well for the past few months he has been seriously flirting with me. problem: he and i both know that i already am seeing someone. a while ago we went to this play out in the city. of course i had to sit next to him because we sat near each other on the bus. on the bus he kept looking back and staring into my eyes and stuff like that. then when we got to the play and everyone was settled in their seats, the lights went down. i was watching the play and then i felt him touching me kind of uncomfortably like all over my legs and arms. after a while it was bothering me so i would slap his hand because he was annoying. but then every five minutes or so he would start stroking me. after the thing was over i was like whatever and we left.

now in school he comes to my locker every morning and afternoon even if my bf is standing there (my boyfriend gets pissed off too). also, the guy always wants a hug in the halls and sometimes makes sexual comments online. in 4th period (language arts), he always tries to catch my eye and when he does, he makes very ... innapropriate body language. if you know what i mean =/

he's in my social studies class. i think it's normal for him to act like that to girls because theres another girl he tanterizes in my ss class and even a group of his friends he has who like his behavior at lunch. he likes touching our hair and hes always finding a way to touch someone -- and one time he even licked my hand. but you have to see that most of the times he jokes and plays around. but im not sure. gosh does that even make sense?

he's nice and makes me laugh sometimes but what kind of friendship is this?

what can i say when i just want him to quit it?

Don't let it happen anymore. Don't just slap his hand away. Punch him in the face or kick him in the nuts. Seriously hurt him. You won't get in that much trouble if anyone sees it. This needs to stop and my experience with telling adults about things like this has just been a waste of time. They can't do anything about him giving you looks and they can't control him every time he tries to touch you. He's just a huge pervert and if people tell him to stop, which is pretty much all they can do, he's not going to. Make him stop. Hurt him and embarass him in front of his friends and make him never want to see you again. I know you have it in you and I'll bet you really want to. Good luck!

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if i wanted to buy something from ebay .. what are some things i would need to know. like whats the difference between 'buy it now' and bidding? also if i 'buy it now' would that mean theres no bidding involved and that if i purchase it then its mine? please include other info please ..ihave no idea

When you want to buy something from ebay read everything on the page. Look at whether the item is new or used. See if the description matches the picture. Make sure it says how much shipping costs. See what kinds of payment the seller will accept. If any of this very important information is missing, e-mail the seller and ask for it. Look at the seller's feedback to make sure that they are trustworthy. "Buy it now" is exactly what you think it is. You'll pay the price it says plus shipping. You don't have to wait until the end of the auction. That's just when it will no longer be available. It will be sent to you right away unless otherwise specified somewhere on the page. Bidding is an auction. Lets say you want to buy a blanket and you bid on it. No one has bid on it yet so that makes you the first bidder. You set your highest bid at $15. The starting bid set by the seller is at $5. If no one else bids on the blanket before the time runs out it's yours for $5, plus whatever shipping is of course. Okay now lets say someone does bid on the blanket after you (before the time runs out). They set their highest bid at $10. If no one else bid, you would then win the blanket for $10 because your bid ($15) was higher than theirs. Their bid, however, made it so you had to pay a little more. If someone after that second person bid $20, they would win the blanket since their bid is higher than your $15. If you decided that you were willing to pay more than you originally thought, you can make a new bid. So after that third person bid $20, you made a second bid at $25. You can't see what the other person's highest bid is. You notice that after bidding $25, you aren't winning and that the other person still is. That means that their highest bid was higher than the $25 that you bid. You then bid $30 and win. It goes on, but I think you get the point. Make sure you remember that shipping is not included in the number that you bid, but is included in the price that you pay. Paypal is an account you need if you want to use a credit card. It's a way to transfer money. As I said in the beginning, somewhere on the page it will say what kinds of payment the seller will accept. If you want to pay in cash and it says that the seller only accepts Paypal, don't bid on the item without first asking the seller if they would consider accepting cash from you. It may seem kind of confusing, but you'll get the hang of it, it's very easy to learn. Good luck!

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How do u prevent razor burn from yur bakini area? lol i'll rate 5's thanks!!!

Lotion and a good shaving cream will help. Make sure that you are using a sharp razor. If that stuff doesn't work, don't shave it every day. Let it grow a little. The reason you're getting razor burn is because the hair and skin are to close to the same level and you're scratching the skin too much. It's a very sensitive area! Good luck!

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miNd because he’s going out with me now. My BFF and BF came over to my house one day and I told him I made out with other guys, which I didn’t. I only said it to make myself sound more interesting. I only French kissed a guy once. And we played truth or Dare and even when my Bf and BFF were friends my friends dared them to do stuff like kiss and make out. They chickened out Then after my party he asked me out and I said yes, but my birthday is coming up and when my Bff’s told me the top game we will play is Truth or dare, then I got scarred because now that we are a couple I thought what if people ask us to make out or something? I bet he wont mind because he did it all the time but I said I did too! I partly want to do it for the fun but I am also worried and I really want to do it partly but I also am worried. and on top of all that He smokes!

Get together with him before the party. Confess. Tell him that you've never made out with anyone before and why you lied. He should understand. If he doesn't he's a jerk. Let him know that you're worried that at the party truth or dare will be played and the whole making out thing will come up again. You want to practice a little beforehand because you are nervous. He should like this idea a lot and you'll have a great first make out session. I wish you a lot of luck.

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i really need to know some good love songs!!!! so if oyu have ne good ones please reply!!!!

Celine Dion has a lot of good love songs. "Amazed" by Lonestar is my favorite. Other than that, you've gotten some pretty good answers already. Good luck! :)

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Ok,
I have a boyfriend BUT the thing is that I am not allowed to have one. I don't know how long my relationship will last before my mom and dad find out...but I really like the guy. If I tell them I have a bf they will freak out...I really don't know what to do! PLEASE help!
(14/f)

If you talk to them about being mature enough to have a boyfriend too much they'll figure it out. Don't try to get around it. Either tell them or don't. Those are your options. Everything else will complicate things way too much. They'll find out eventually of course, but it's probably best for you to keep it from them for now. They're being pretty unrealistic by not allowing you to have a boyfriend at age 14. Of course you're going to go behind their backs with rules like those. In any case, think about what will happen if they do find out. If you don't think it's going to be too bad, don't tell them yourself. You'll be happier for longer. If you think it's going to be really terrible (which it shouldn't, but I don't know your parents), tell them. It'll go a little better for you that way. Think of it this way. They can't force you to break up with him. They just can't. They can't control everything you do. When they do find out reassure them that you're being safe and responsible. That's the only reason they set the rule in the first place. To keep you safe because they care. If they say you have to break up with him so what? Don't. What can they really do? They need to start giving you a little freedom and trusting your judgement or bad things will start happening in the not so distant future. My parents tried to break me and my first boyfriend up when I was 18. A legal adult. I was so scared of my family and their reaction that I waited that long to get one. I didn't tell them that I was dating anyone and after awhile it all came out. Them disapproving of my relationship led to a ton of drama and me not going home for almost a year now. I hope that your parents realize that something like that could happen. I wish you and your parents a lot of luck. I hope for their sake and for yours that they let you keep your boyfriend.

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Ok... I'm in desprate need of some advice. I was involved in an abusive relationship ( i ended it last year in January) I have since then graduated from high school. When i was in high school I had a little crush on my spanish teacher (i was 18 he was 24), never thought much of it, but i was up at my old school the other day and i saw him again and feelings resurfaced. We talked for a while and he asked me out. This is the first relationship i have even considered entering since ending my abusive one...and i'm not sure if i'm doing the right thing ... please don't say that " i'll know when I'm ready" because thats all i've heard latley ... and it doesn't help...because i'm so confused about the entire thing that i don't know anything anymore.

Thanks so much
*i rate*

Since he's a teacher, in all probability, he's a great guy that's not going to hurt you. I think that it's the right thing to do. Even if the date doesn't lead to any more dates or a relationship, you'll have a great time and it's the first step to getting back into the dating world. Definitely take it slow. If it comes up tell him about your situation and how you're a little tentative to start dating again. He should be very understanding. You can't really know what his feelings are for you yet though. Make sure, before you get in too deep, that he's into you as much as you are into him. He could just want to spend a little time with you to see how life after high school is going for you. This could be a great opportunity for you. I wish you the best of luck.

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So I was readin this site and I was relly worried when I read that how if you work out too often you can have amenorrhea...it's this thing wen ur period stops. I know what it is and stuff but I just wanted to know if anyone on this site ever had it and how much exercise they did? And if possible..does the period come back at all?

You're not going to get it unless you exercise a LOT. Like training for the Olympics. Your period should come back, naturally, with surgery, or with meds, but you run the risk of becoming permanantly infertile (not able to have children). Just regular exercise or even exercise to some excess, isn't going to affect you. If you miss a period it's probably for other reasons. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Good luck!

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are you supposed to use a condom for oral sex?

Yes, you are supposed to. Do people do it? No. You're not going to get pregnant or anything if you don't, so most people don't need it. The only reason you would use a condom for oral sex would be if you suspected that the guy had an STD or for some reason (taste?) the girl couldn't stand to do it without one. I don't know what they're called off the top of my head, but oral sex protection does exist the other way. They're just large square pieces of latex that the guy puts over the girl's genetalia so there's no fluid exchange. I think they're called dental dams? Not sure about that one. Anyways, I hope my answer helped and good luck!

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I have always thought it would be a cool idea to have a movie theater that ran only horror movies. It would play new ones, old ones, all the classics (such as Rocky Horror Picture Show). I am just wondering what other people thought of this. Would anyone out there be interested in going to a horror theme theater

That idea sounds good on paper sure, but I don't think that it would really work. Horror movies aren't as good in the theater as they are at home with a group of friends. You get more freaked out and don't get embarassed screaming a lot. Plus, for the most part, people that go to the theater the most are middle schoolers, high schoolers, and college students. They don't have a lot of money. If they wanna see an old horror flick, it's cheaper just to rent. People go to the theater to see new movies. Being on the big screen isn't as important as the value of the product. If you can just rent it, most people will do that instead. The main reason people go to the theater is because at that time it's the only place where you can see the movie at all. Sure there are new horror movies coming out and everything, but not enough to keep an entire theater from going broke. A better idea would be to have a regular theater with maybe a horror room? Have theme rooms in the theater where the horror one would have gargoyles and stuff on the walls. Any horror movies would be played in there. I don't really think that's a great idea either, but it's the best I can do. There's a reason why things are the way they are. Businesses have to think about making money, not just about making their customers the happiest and most impressed that they can be. I just don't see the horror theater doing well business wise as cool as it does sound.

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im 13/f
My best friend in the whole entire world is in the hospital, shes anemic. She is really really low in hemoglobin and the doctors told her that if she were an adult she'd be dead. She is staying overnight and getting a blood transfusion. I've lost a lot of people in my life, and shes always been there. I wouldnt be able to live without her. Is she gonna be alright? THanks ill rate high

I think that she will be fine. Lots of people live with anemia. One of my friends has it and you'd never know. She may not to be able to exert herself as much (sports, work), she may have to follow a special diet, or take medication, but other than that she should be just fine. Try not to worry so much. I hope that she gets better soon and good luck!

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17/F
I'm really scared about what my parents are making me do. Last year I was sent to a hospital for manic depression and compusive behavior. I was released two weeks into school. Thank god I had my bf or I would have gone crazy. U see hospitals scare me everytime I go into one someone dies(someone close to me). So when I over heard my parents talking about taking me to a different hospital last week I freaked out. I've stared cutting again and I cry myself to sleep at night. If I didn't have my bf I wouldn't even go to school cause my grades suck.
Someone help me I don't want to go back
I'm scared
Ps
I rate high

See if they will take you to see a counselor instead of bringing you to the hospital. It will be a much nicer, more relaxed setting, and my guess is that it will help you much more, not only because you're afraid of hospitals in the first place, but because it's a mental problem you have more than it is a physical one. Being in the hospital probably made you worse, that's why it took so long to get out. Try to talk to your parents about it calmly. Tell them that going to the hospital makes you worse and you think that a counselor would be able to help you more. If you already have a counselor, my apologies. If that's the case, try to relax knowing that your parents and your counselor probably know what they're doing. Your parents aren't the enemy. Your depression and compulsive behavior are what are. Your parents are just trying to help you. I really hope that you don't have to go to the hospital and good luck!

P.S. You have a really awesome boyfriend to be there for you like he is :)

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my sound just....stopped working. like it's turned up and everything but it won't work. i restarted my computer but it didn't do anything...does anyone know what it might be?? 5's

Is it muted? If you have it on mute, you can turn it all the way up and there will be no sound. In the control panel go to "sounds speech and audio devices" and make sure that the sound isn't muted. Make sure all the other sound settings make sense too. You don't have to know a lot about computers to know that something just doesn't seem right. Other than that, your speakers could have come unplugged or died. If you are using a desktop computer and the speakers aren't a part of the monitor, there's a good chance that one of these two things is what happened. Check to make sure that the speakers are plugged in and the settings are all correct before going out and buying a new set of speakers. Good luck!

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im 13/f and i am confused. every guy likes me n i like them... * i mean the ones below not every one*

*not rl names*

colten- nice skater a couple inches shorter then me kinda bossy gets into fighs easily goes to a school nearby cute
ashton- lives states away from me, best friend nice sweet romaantic cute kind of into himself prep & model
connor- best friends with colten, a foot taller then me skater goes to nearby school.. not cute in looks but in personality
rylan- has a gf for the past 1 1/2 yrs nice cute my height & school preppy
kevin- my grade my school nice athletic preppy sometimes weird


i just dont know which one to focus on... i know.. wow a lot of guys.. but they all mean a lot to me in different ways.. no i m not a whore.. i promise.. .well i know you girls can all relate to me sometimes..


thanks in advance

I think that Kevin would be the best choice. If both Colten and Connor like you and are best friends, you don't want to get between them. It could cause a lot of problems. For them and for you. Plus, they go to a different school so you wouldn't be able to see them as much. Ashton, being a little into himself and living far away won't be able to contribute much in a relationship. Rylan, well, he has a girlfriend. If he breaks up with his girlfried you could consider him, but you don't want to get in the middle of that either. Way too much drama and trouble for everyone. As for Kevin, weird can be fun. It's refreshing sometimes. I hope that everything turns out the way you want it to and good luck!

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Hey everyone!
For some reason I feel like reading I would really apreciate if you people would recommend some of your favorite books and a little bit on what it is about =)
Thanks,

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card is great. It takes place in the future. Earth, in the past had been attacked by aliens and another impending attack causes the government to start training genious kids in military tactics. Ender is chosen as one of these kids and is a lot younger than the other kids in his class. He feels like a complete outcast and struggles a lot socially. Much else will give away the ending. If you like sci-fi and video games you will love this book. If you're into fantasy, the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan is good. If you're into law and lawyers, John Grisham writes very good books, much of which have become movies (The Firm, A Time To Kill, The Pelican Brief, The Client, The Runaway Jury). Good luck in finding something!

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