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I'm not allowed to have a bf
Ok,
I have a boyfriend BUT the thing is that I am not allowed to have one. I don't know how long my relationship will last before my mom and dad find out...but I really like the guy. If I tell them I have a bf they will freak out...I really don't know what to do! PLEASE help!
(14/f)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'd say you need your boyfriends help to work out this situation. Explain everything to him, and if he really thinks your worth it, he'll want your parents onside. So, take him home one day, maybe with another friend, just for supper or something, and say play a board game with your family, something like that, make sure your parents have a good time too. And casually ask what they thought of him, as well as your other friend (preferably female to avoid suspicion). Do this for a while, and then when you think the tiem is right, you can ask them if you can date this guy, and if they say no, have a calm and reasonable discussion with them about why you think it would be ok to date him, and listen to their opinions too.
Hope everything works out,
God bless.
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If you are positive that your parents wouldn't understand, try this instead.
If that guy is as crazy as you are for him, it's easy. Tell him your problem and if he understands, he will suggest that you guys maybe can just be really good friends. That way, you won't have to lie to your parents any more and you will know that he really really likes you as well.
hope it works:)
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If you talk to them about being mature enough to have a boyfriend too much they'll figure it out. Don't try to get around it. Either tell them or don't. Those are your options. Everything else will complicate things way too much. They'll find out eventually of course, but it's probably best for you to keep it from them for now. They're being pretty unrealistic by not allowing you to have a boyfriend at age 14. Of course you're going to go behind their backs with rules like those. In any case, think about what will happen if they do find out. If you don't think it's going to be too bad, don't tell them yourself. You'll be happier for longer. If you think it's going to be really terrible (which it shouldn't, but I don't know your parents), tell them. It'll go a little better for you that way. Think of it this way. They can't force you to break up with him. They just can't. They can't control everything you do. When they do find out reassure them that you're being safe and responsible. That's the only reason they set the rule in the first place. To keep you safe because they care. If they say you have to break up with him so what? Don't. What can they really do? They need to start giving you a little freedom and trusting your judgement or bad things will start happening in the not so distant future. My parents tried to break me and my first boyfriend up when I was 18. A legal adult. I was so scared of my family and their reaction that I waited that long to get one. I didn't tell them that I was dating anyone and after awhile it all came out. Them disapproving of my relationship led to a ton of drama and me not going home for almost a year now. I hope that your parents realize that something like that could happen. I wish you and your parents a lot of luck. I hope for their sake and for yours that they let you keep your boyfriend.
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i am in the same situtation as you are in except i am 15 and have had my boyfriend for 9 months. my parents dont really know but i keep it on the DL i still havent told my parents but they dont need to know everythin about my life. my advice dont make it a big deal that you got a boyfriend around them. what they dont know wont hurt them.
*~Stephanie~*
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yep. got that problem too! im 13/f and ive been going out with my bf for a little over 2 months now. i didnt tell my parents. well, i told my mom but only because she asked. what id advise doing is probably keeping it a secret unless your POSITIVE that your parents wouldnt try to break you up or wouldnt completely and totally freakout. thats what my plan was/is and things have been working out fine. good luck!
"hope i helped"
~*skippy_pebbles*~
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there are two choices. the black and the white.
Tell them
Don't tell them.
And the safer choice would be to tell them, but personally i wouldn't want to tell my parents if i was in a jam like this,now matter how morally right it is. so your best bet is to find your parents weak spot.
Find what will make them really see you as mature. And keep pushing and pushing at it. Like a good debate. Also find out WHY they don't want you to have a boyfriend. make sure your boyfriend knows about your situation. so if it comes to the point where you have to convince them that he isn't some sort of rapist, he knows what they're looking for.
But even so, it's pretty awkward telling your parents that you went against their wishes. so here's my realist advice of the day. DON'T TELL THEM UNLESS YOU HAVE TO. try to find a way to make them let you have a boyfriend, before telling them you have a boyfriend. If you really can't convince them to let you, then perhaps it's time they met him.
if you have him around enough (make sure to say he's just a friend) they'll get used to him and trust him. so when you finally convince them to let you date, he'll be their first choice. also, that way it won't be strange if they see you around him. you could always say you were just hanging with your friends.
but of course, if you want some advice from a parental type morally obsessed person, i'll just say you can tell them and hope for the best, but i would go for the solution before. mostly because i would never be able to bring myself to tell my parents that.
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