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yiL3eMember Since:
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I'm not going to sugarcoat anything for you. I'm going to give you advice that lets you know the reality of the situation. I'll make sure you know everything, the good and the bad. I'm here to target the reality, not the moral. I don't care about the "right" thing to do. I care about the "best" thing to do. Send me a question, and face the reality.
advice
i got accepted into one of the best schools, probably in the state, or even in the country, with many awards and the students and enviornment is really welcoming and friendly, and most of the students get accdepted into really good colleges like Stanford. but the problem is is that i'm taking too many classes, but i don't want to fall behind in my units(college) and in my credits(high school). what can i do if i stress myself out but i don't want to drop any classes?
Personally I think you should go for it.
In 8th grade, I got accepted into Phillips Andover. I rejected them for family issues. I thought that I would EASILY be able to get straight A's for a Public High School.
But It still seems hard.
Why? because I'm not being pressured to do really REALLY well. Just well enough to get straight A's in a public school.
If you can, I think you should take that chance. Even if it's stressful, you'll know that you're really being challenged and that way you'll be able to reach your best. It's like in a race. if you race against someone who's slower than you, you might win, but your time would be worse than if you raced against someone really fast and lost. Because you'd still be faster.
I'm not sure if this answers your question. But if you want ways to relax you can always listen to calming music. Also I find time to just sit and breathe. If you think about it, you always can waste time somehow. Think about how much time you spend commuting to places or just getting settled in. I'm not sure what's best for you, but I'm pretty sure getting really organized would help anyone.
Hope that helped!
okay so
i've been seeing this guy Jacob for about 5 months now .
he lives with his best friend robert.robert and his ex Lucy broke up 2 weeks ago
well Robert is a very jealous person.
Jacob promised robert he wouldnt do anything with lucy. but robert made sure all of his friends didnt do anything with lucy. well jacob and i were kinda official but now we're just like not as serious.
well i know jacobs password for myspace but he thinks i forgot it...anyway, i see a message from lucy saying "i hate how we have to hide our friendship"
he replies
"yah i know it sucks but wait til i move out"
so last week jacob calls me and says, "if anyone calls just say im with you." and i said "okay but why"
he then said, "i'm going to hang out with a few friends and lucy is in the group and i told robert i wouldnt talk to her "
so i was like "okay whatever"
then he texts me the next day @ 6AM saying "goodnight baby.if anyone ask i was with you til 6AM"
so he hasnt called since tuesday so i call him blocked and just see if hes alive
so from tuesday -thursday i call blocked and later on thursday at about 11pm i was with my cousin and he calls and says "i know its you thats calling, give up."
so i denied it and my cousin took the blame.
so friday i was with this my friends cuz they were making fun of jacob and how he got in an accident so i sent jacob a text saying "i'm with my friends right now and the story they're telling me about your last accident is pretty funny"
so like 2 minutes later he calls and bitches at me saying
"how is it funny that i got in an accident"
i told him
"i'm not saying its funny, i'm saying the story i'm listening to is funny, cuz its so different from the one you told me"
well saturday i go on his myspace and read a message to lucy saying
"heyy cutie im at my parents and im just misssin you thinkin that you should be in my arms its like 446 i called you and a older guy answered sayin i had the wrong number i think it was your dad well anyways ill c you on sunday
tell robert.
just how much do you like this jacob person? how often does he talk to you now? Do you really like a guy who's backstabbing his best friend and using you?
you've already tried confront jacob and it's obvious that he's willing to lie and hide things from you.
Just go tell Robert. He deserves to know. If you're really worried, just tell him not to tell Jacob you told him. Besides, I'm sure Robert would find out eventually. these kind of things never stay quiet for too long.
(well in that case you could also leave it alone and let someone else tell robert. since obviously other people have seen jacob and lucy have been hanging out)
But really it's still your choice in the end. Whatever makes you feel better. In fact, if you really rather not get involved then do just that. Refuse to cover for him. Tell him that if he wants to go hang out with lucy, then he can deal with Robert himself.
I have a lot of friends, I would usually consider myself content. I like all my friends, but feel most comfortable in my little "group" of maybe 10 or so people who I think are closer. But sometimes I feel like if I left, no one would be really bothered by it. I don't feel particularly liked, and I feel extremely self-conscious when I am faced with either the choice of trying to finally talk to people I know, but don't actually have acquaintance-ships with, or just hanging out by myself. When I finally feel like I'm accepted (become part of an actual group, made guy friends, and then made friends with the most popular girl in school) there is someone who doesn't know who I am and doesn't care. Sometimes I just feel like throwing up or something because no matter how hard I try there is always something not right. Sometimes when I make friends with the "it" girl, I think that being friends with her will assure me friendships with her friends, but it never does. I like to be liked and when I'm not and put out of my comfort-zone, I feel like the little kid who's picked on and disliked. I thought that dressing nice and being nice and looking pretty and being smart would just give me a ticket into anywhere, but it doesn't. I feel like everyone is making this more difficult for me than it is for everyone else. I just feel sick and I don't know what to do. Sorry if this is long. Thanks in advance.
I know this sounds retarded.... but why would you make friends with the 'it' girl just to make friends with her friends? I know I'm not supposed to give such idealistic advice, but wouldn't it be better just to make friends with people you like?
You shouldn't feel like you have to make friends for the sake of having friends.
I've made tons of friends but even with those friends, I rarely hang out with them. I spend alot of time at home and working. But I constantly get calls or invites, but I'm too busy.
Maybe you should try to become more independant. If you aren't after people, they might come after you.
People like people who exert confidence, but don't try too hard. I made alot of friends because I really didn't care whether I did or not. and I made friends. But a girl who tried too hard and tried to please everyone and make friends with everyone is pretty much shunned. Even if people DO like you, if you try too hard they'll think that you're too dependable. You know? Like you're already their friend so they don't need to make you feel liked.
Act spontaneous, don't care about making friends, because friends'll come eventually. Friends aren't what's most important. You are. So don't worry so much about it.
My predicament is pretty complicated, I gotta say. I don't really want flimsy answers or something that's just going to reiterate what I've typed down. Solutions people, I need soluttionnnssss.
Ok. So. To start at the beginning I met this guy. I'm practically the only democrat in my school so when I met him and found out he was a democrat I was more attracted to him. So we've talked for a long time and he's been really nice, and I draw in class and he's taken an interest in my art and all that stupid sappy cheesy CRAP.
But anyway. One day he tells me he's making a Bolshevik's club at my school. I had no idea what the Bolshevik's were; I just assumed it wasn't anything bad because he wasn't a bad person and we seemed to share the same views. He showed me what he wanted, and it was a girl and a boy standing side by side and the arms closest to eachother are raised. The girl is holding a sickle and the boy is holding a hammer-thing, and they're crossing them. So I just agreed and said I'd try and get it done over the weekend.
Well I come home, and decide to do some research on these 'bolsheviks'. Sadly, I came to find they were communists. Communism is not something I believe in. It is an extremely left wing theory where all classes are to be equal. I don't think anybody can excell or live up to their full potential that way. I just don't find it fair, or right.. if we lived in a communist world what would the point of trying be?
So I was naturally appalled that I had agreed to endorse this club with my drawing. But what was I going to do? I still kind of like this guy even if he is a little extreme, but I don't want to support communism with my drawing (the drawing would be used on flyers around my school to support the club)
So, I have to have come to a solution by sunday night, at least.. help me, please?
It's your opinion, you have a right to it. But it's pointless to tell him that you don't agree at all with his ideas. Sure that might be the right thing to do and one of those cheesy 'be true to yourself' sort of things, but I'm not sure how effective that will be especially since you still like the boy. Here are some options:
1) Tell him you can't. Draw a really crappy sketch that you know he won't want. Say that you had artists block, you're busy, can't concentrate, parents all sorta excuses.
2) Say you didn't know what bolsheviks were and that you'd be glad to make it up to him with something else. [ a different favor or something, bribe him ;)]
3) Draw him a "I agree to disagree" picture. Show it to him after telling him that you don't agree with communism. [don't say "I HATE COMMUNISM" or something like that, say something like "I'm not really into communism. It's not that I hate it or anything, I don't really have a strong opinion on it. It's cool that you're forming this club, but I don't think I should join till I get into it."
4) Draw it. Suck it up and just do it.
I'm not saying that you should do all of these. I'm just giving you some ideas you might try. I don't agree with some of the choices, but I'm not you and in the end, it's always your choice.
Good Luck.
I'm pretty sure you'll give me an honest answer, to this.
I'm 13, & All my friends are 13. I have to friends Christina & Shanice. Theres this boy named Zac who We all three like. Only me & shanice are keeping it a secrect from Christina. Because thats her boyfriend.(Were like not all three like bestfriends or a little circle group. or anything) But see I moved away, SO i don't go to school with them anymore..Me & shanice liked zac ever since last year & christina knows it, but assumed we were over him. Well tonight Christina had me & zac on 3 way and we were all talking like we used to and when he hanged up she said "I like zac likes you, but i got to call you tomorrow". She's unsure & confused if this kid really likes her, And i really don't believe she knows I wouldn't date zac or shanice wouldnt date him. I told her I wouldn't.
But truthfully, I still find him to be an amazingly good friend, a very cute guy, & I still do like him. Shanice knows this & agrees but she likes the idea better of me dating him (Or she says?) And Christina told me she seriously believes he likes me.
But my problem is, I would date/go out with him. If he asked. But I'm afraid of hurting feels. Sorry this is so long. :/
...so.. are you asking me whether you should date him if asks you? or whether you should believe what all your friends are telling you about him liking you?
well before I continue I'll say one important piece of advice. "read between the lines"
I'm serious. Friends are terrified of hurting each other. Some times they might be saying something just to be selfless. like how shanice says it's better with him dating you, think about it, why would she say that if she likes him?
Because she's being your friend and being polite in a way.
another check to reality for you, don't let all those assumptions and observations get to you head. I'm not being pessimistic, but in reality, you really can't judge from things your friends say. Though it may seem like he likes you from what all your friends say, it probably seems like it because you want him to like you.
from someone on the outside, they aren't so sure. I had a friend who strongly believed that this boy liked her, saying stuff like "he looked at her" and how he "seemed to look sad when she ignored him" but he was really popular and if he liked a girl he would've just went up and talked to her, not stare at her. He's not that type of guy, I've known him for 4 years. from me it was obvious but for her...let's say she was "blinded by love"
don't be blinded. Take a look and think, what are the REAL hints that he likes you? what are the REAL hints that he likes Christina or Stanice?
Also don't make a move on him if Christina's still dating him. and don't date him till at least a bit after they break up. Don't cause any hostility between you and your friends. Think about how much it must be hurting Christina because her boyfriend likes another girl, and her friend at that.
with a situation like this, I'm sorry to say it's almost impossible to not hurt any feelings. What happens next isn't necessarily your choice, but more like Zac's.
--therealist
there is this girl at school that is completely intolerable. she constantly brags about her wealth, her popularity, blah blah blah & oh my god she LIES about everything. basically...i hate her. anyway...her & my best friend have always been really close. recently my best friend has been ditching me COMPLETELY to hang out with this obnoxious girl. this girl has totally changed my best friend into a clone of herself. what can i do to make my friend aware of this. she is stuck WAY up this girls ass & she's changing for the worst. it breaks my heart. ]:
wow. that IS obnoxious.
well there are several options.
1. give up on her. If she's going to get so easily influenced and can't even tell when she's being a total ass, then maybe it's time to move on. Of course this is probably the last thing you want to do because from your description you two sound very close.
2. smile even if it hurts. maybe you'll be in a class with her that the other girl isn't in. act nice to her, like nothing's wrong. Maybe she'll notice compared to the way you treat her and the way she acts, there's something wrong.
3. act like her. treat her like she treats you. Childish, yes, but hopefully effective. Sooner or later she's going to ask you why you've been so obnoxious to her, and just ask her same thing. It might backfire if she's incredibly stubborn and is really blind to the fact that she's acting like a clone.
4. talk to her. but whatever you do, DO NOT tell her straight out that she's acting like a clone. She'll get offended before denying and hating you forever. though it's the harsh harsh truth, she sounds like she probably won't appreciate it. if you really need to talk to her. try comparing her and her friend subtly. Ask about the other girl and then ask the same questions to her. try to let her see how similar she's become to that girl.
5. try to get her back. invite her over. ask her to hang out. maybe she'll return to her old self if she's around you enough. if she denies it, get one of the girls that are still her friends to "throw a party" and show up. you can even offer to throw the whole party yourself but just use the other girls name if she's trying to avoid you. She's still your best friend, so use every oppurtunity you have to try and get her to remember that.
I've just been listing options for you cause I'm here for advice not for decision making. it's your problem, so you're the most suited for the final decision. Good luck.
Okay I put this in the category "Relationships -> Friendship" because I didnt know what else it would be classified as.
But lets get one thing straight,
the girl I'm going to talk about I am not friends with her.
Okay, well I was adopted and so was this girl, from the same place. And when we were in elementary school we tried to be friends, it didnt really work, she like lives for PITY, (because she was adopted).. and after we figured out it couoldnt work (well I figured it out)
we just stopped talking.
But now speed forward, to highschool.
She is bugging the crap out of me, my freshman year (last year) i felt bad for her, so yet again I befriended her, and she made it worse, she became freakishly clingy, and caused a LOT of drama. And i said I've had it and I'm not going ot be your friend. Not now anymore, or ever. And you cant convince me too.
I've talked ot school counsulars, but they dont know half of our past so they cant help.
Just know that, we always argued when we were friends, and it was unhealthy and I cant take the drama from her.
But I'm going into my sophmore year,
and she has been obsessing over me it seems. Like reading my comments on xanga ( i have a tracker, and shes not blocked so its not like she cant comment) so yeah. And its annoying, and she thinks we have some tie together since we're "both adopted" but therea re other pepole adopted at our school, from teh same place, but does she bug them? NO? so whats so special about me? She thinks of her adoption of being "abandonded" and thats why she acts eepressed and wants pity all the time.
But I mean she can get help, btu cant she leave me alone? I've even gone to see conuslars about her, but they all told me how i can treat her, and what to say so she will leave me alone. But my questions are:
WHY DOES SHE KEEP BUGGING ME?
WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?
And also she has a hard time letting go of things, like our past.
And I've had it, with her, I'm liable to i dont know what, But I've had it. please help.
I'm not quite clear on some things here.
have you ever TOLD her that you didn't want to be her friend? Like straight out saying "Go away I don't want to be your friend?"
Well, if that didn't work, then, she's one persistent little girl. I'm going to guess the reason she clings to you, though there are other people from the same place, is because she admires you I guess? I'm not saying you should feel bad cause she wants to be your friend and thinks you're cool, and you don't like her at all.
Believe me, I know that having someone "admire" you is troublesome and just plain annoying. There must be something about you that she wants to be like. I'm not sure what about you she likes, but perhaps you could try showing your...worse characteristics. Like a girl who liked me for my art and my race, I guess, I was extremely cold to her and acted incredibly sensitive whenever she mentioned my race. Also, since you know she likes you, act arrogant, like you're better than her.
I don't thinks my next idea's a very good idea, but if you're desperate. You could always be mean to her. She sounds like someone who could easily get on someone's nerves, and her "pity me, I'm adopted" routine is getting old. There are plenty of people adopted so, if not you, someone needs to tell her to belt up and move on with life, perferably to someone who's...not you.
and since you're in high school, you could always try to avoid her by joining clubs and teams that you know she can't join or doesn't want to join. which shouldn't be too hard considering you two are very different.
I'm not sure what else there is to do. I know the advice I've given you has basically been
1) be mean to her.
2) avoid her.
But I'm sure other people have given you plenty of advice on how to break it to her nicely. besides from the sound of the description, you've had it with her and just want to get rid of her, regardless of her "feelings"
I can't help but wonder though, how could she still cling on to you, even when you told her to back off. That must be incredibly annoying. So if you haven't already, just tell her straight out. "Go Away."
--therealist
I'm emotionally unstable...well that's wheat I'll call it. If someone tells me something I swell up with tears and then when I'm alone I just cry and cry! Today I was in school and I had to drop off a paper in spanish and teacher asks me to speak spanish...I'm not good at spanish and to make it worst when I get scared I figget. then she jus said put it here and I went by another teacher and I cried and cried. I know it'll give me a depression..that's y i'm askin for help..I need to be calmm and be me! And I don't want the title...the wet soock or soomething. What can I do to make myself stronger?
I'm no psychologist, but i remember that i used to easily get upset over something minor.
there are a variety of ways, all depending on what the real problem is.
if the reason you cry is because you're easily embarrassed and feel like the world's all laughing at you or something, then try to think of an experience someone ELSE had that was 10x worse. like if your teacher catches you not listening, think about someone who got sent to the principal's office. often, people forget about it by then.
there's no sure way in helping you maintain a cool composure. but you could try making it a joke out of everything. think of the humorous side of it. friends always helps. have a couple of friends over, play charades with a bunch of scenerios that might make you break down and cry. once you find the humor in the situation the embarrassment or offense is completely gone.
you could also try to direct all the extra emotion into something else. like i have this word document (i can't write fast) where i type all my thoughts and emotions. i get so worn out thinking about ways to portray my emotion through words, it becomes a writing assignment, no longer the actual experience. sketching is nice too. you could even just scribble. find a way to let out all the angst.
another thing is try to keep smiling. even if it turns out to be a crooked, obviously fake smile. you might even laugh at yourself trying to smile.
try your hardest to brush it off. i know this is probably the obvious advice, but that's probably the best. the only way to really overcome it is to not really care what other people think.
i'm sorry if this didn't really help. but i really hope it turns out ok for you. good luck.
okay so im 13/f and i have a problem. im seriously BUTTLESSS. and i mean it. abercrombie and hollister jeans like are all saggy on me...
and no i dont wanna STUFFF my butt haha but what are some foods or something that will make it bigger...
i already have big boobs. just no butt...and its not for the guys or for my appearance.. its for me.. and im not trying to make this funny..
just it kinda is.
thanks in advance for having the guts to answer this. =]
After you excersise of workout, sit down.
usually i would advise AGAINST doing this cause that would cause all the blood to rush towards you butt, and you're butt will get bigger. but since you WANT a bigger butt, then i guess i would have to advise to do that.
Hey can anybody tell me a website for quotes like this or give me some quotes that have to do with well my boyfriend broke up with me for another chick. And shes kinda ugly not to be mean but everyone thinks it too. I know that there is one quote that goes something like i laugh because shes ugly, but is there any quotes that sorta have to do with that? I know www.wittyprofiles.com and www.holliquotes.com or something like that and also www.firehotquotes.com thanks i'll rate 5's!!
i love this page
http://www.quotationspage.com/
you can browse by category and try to find it.
hope you find the quote.
theres this boy who moved to my town in 5 grade and in 7th grade started likeing me.i started likeing him back but he never got the courage to ask me out. then he moved hours away but i still talked to him occassionally. we kinda have a thing for each other but i have a boyfriend who ive been going out with for 2 years. the kid who moved away is comming down to visit for a couple weeks nd my boyfriend is going away. should i cheat on him or should i just end things with him nd move on..??HELP
who do you like more?
i know being the "don't do the right thing" advisor, i should tell you to cheat on him, but that would be pointless and unneeded grief and guilt.
so unless you like the boy more than your current boyfriend, i suggest you stick with your boyfriend and just be friends with this boy.
but even if you do like the kid more than your boyfriend, i don't think these long distance relationships work. you're feelings for him will most likely fade, if you're commited to him, and don't cheat him while he's away which is most of the time.
so when he visits, spend some time with him as friends. before you decide whether you want to break up with your boyfriend, see if you really like this boy and think you can maintain a long term relationship with him.
also if he's staying for just a few weeks and you cheat on your boyfriend, then he somehow finds out, you'll lose your boyfriend and the boy won't even be there anymore cause he was just visiting. that's a little risky don't you think?
so if you think you don't really like your boyfriend anymore, simply break it off, that way you can enjoy yourself with the other boy, without having to feel like you're cheating. cause if you're found cheating, that'll cause you a variety of problems in the future.
you're decision really bases on how much you like your current boyfriend.
I've gone to a public school my whole life. Now 7th grade is ending and im going on to 8th grade. My brother goes to a private school and i want to go there. But I'm afraid of leaving behind my friends. I have a much better chance of getting accepted because my brother goes, but my brother doesn't talk to his old friends much. One of my friends who switches school a lot told me that I should do whats best for me, not for my friends. But I'm not sure whats best for me. I want to go to private school to help me with college, but I dont want to stop being able to see my other friends cause i love them so much.
I'll rate high if you try to help me with my decison
my god. you don't know how much the question of private high school plagued me before.
i was in 8th grade, and i got into the best private high school in the country (phillips andover) but i also didn't want to leave my friends, because when we went we asked how often the boarding students went home, and they said maybe at the most once a semester.
that completely shocked me. so i was telling myself, i can go, cause i'll just visit more than them, but then if you think about the stress and the work you probably won't have time.
also you'll definetely develop bonds with other kids in the school, and you'll be missing out on alot of your friends life.
if you want to go to a private school simply because you think it'll help with college, i can tell you that i doesn't. no matter how good it is, as long as you're ambitious, it won't matter what school you go to.
for example, when i was making my decision, my dad would constantly come home with stories about families he knew or met that had children who went to phillips, but didn't even get into a really good college like harvard or MIT. so it depends on what type of person you are.
and you also should think about college as another factor. you're going to spend 4 years away from your friends and family. after college, you'll basically lose (well not really LOSE but they won't be as deep) all your relationships with your old friends and family. you'll be on your own.
so if you think you're ready to give that up, by all means you should definetely go to the high school.
and if it counts for anything, i gave up phillips, because i'll get into harvard either way XP. anyways like i said it's your choice, and though you should think about "what's best for you" you need to think about the factors that affect it. don't forget the consequences.
Did anybody here have a life-changing tip/situation/movie/book/quote they would like to share? I want to change my life for the better but have no idea where to start!
here's one of my favorite quotes.
"Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst."
well.. that's not every life-changing is it? but it's a quote i live my life by. but..ierno if you want my life.
what kind of life do you want? the life i'm aiming at is a rich CEO and lawyer at a young age. but many people would consider a life like that too stressful.
so here's a lifestyle that most people would want. a successful life. well one way is to aim high. the higher you aim, the better you're life will be. because even if you fall short, than you'll still be better off than most. but don't aim too high that it feels impossible. and make you goal as detailed and planned out as possible.
i can't really recommend a book that'll change you're life because i don't know what kind of person you are. i read a book once called the disappearace, about a lawyer in this almost impossible case, and from reading that book i knew i wanted to be a lawyer and that altered my whole life. so no one can tell you how to change your life. just like no one can make you want to change your life for the better.
all you need is the motivation and the inspiration. since you've already got the want, i'm sure,however you want to change you're life, it'll be your choice and for the better.
so its been a while since i've used my xanga and now i've gone back and theres all this new stuff... does anybody know what a "nudge" is?? and if there is any other new stuff that i should know PLEASE tell me!
thank you
well a nudge is sorta like a "hug" you can do this because xanga has a new feature: the updated profile.
http://profile.xanga.com/USERNAME
and on the sidebar you can "nudge" them. which is to send them a hug. and they also have all these new features like chatboard or friends. and you can basically explore them all in your new profile.
I think my two best friends are bullying me! They act like my best friend when its just one of them indivally. but when they're both together with me they call me names and then say its a joke and take the piss otta me.
plz help
Madi
xxxxxxxxxxx
have you told them that you don't like it?
my friend and i often tease our other friend, but we've asked about ten times, if she's ok with our jokes and that she knows we're just kidding. and whenever she seems upset, we tend to back off.
so perhaps they don't know that you don't think the jokes are funny. so the reason they act like your best friend individually, means they still think of you as a friend, not as someone to bully on. If you really feel like it's bullying, then simply say "couldja stop?" and that should do the trick. at least that would do the trick for me and my friend
I’ve been having issues with my parents lately. I have a different problem for each of them. I guess this is a two-part question.
In order to fully understand my situation, I think a little background information is required . . .
My parents met one another while they were in highschool. They started dating soon after and eventually my mother ended up pregnant with me at the age of seventeen. It was completely unexpected and unplanned - I was a ‘surprise’, if you will. At the time, my grandmother was a very traditional woman. The idea of premarital children just didn’t sit well with her. She managed to convince my parents that marriage was their only option. They married three months after I was born.
Because my father came from a wealthier family, he graduated from highschool and was able to attend university. My mother, on the other hand, dropped out of highschool four months before her graduation so she could get a full-time job in order to support me and father while he was in school.
It’s not really a surprise that my parents are divorced now, they have been since I was five. But that’s not the issue. I live with my mother and stepfather now and she often talks about how she wishes she hadn’t been so careless when she was younger. She’s always warning me not to ‘throw away’ my youth like she did.
I know she doesn’t mean it, but sometimes I feel as though she resents me. I can’t help but think about how much better her life could have been had she not had me at such a young age. I know this is all in the past, and what’s happened cannot be changed but I would just like to know how I can get past this feeling of “I ruined my mother’s life”. I'd like to be able to stop feeling like a mistake.
Any and all advice is welcome =]
And that’s just my mother. . .
Now for part two - my father.
Like I mentioned before, my parents got married and then divorced at a fairly young age. I live with my mother so I only see my father once a month, if that. I wouldn’t exactly say we’re close . . .
Anyways, a few days ago, my mother told me a story about my father that really disturbed me. She told me that three days before their wedding, at his bachelor party, my dad had cheated on her. And even though she knew about it, she still married him. I was completely shocked when I heard this. I can’t help but be angry at my father. He doesn’t know that I know about this yet, but I would really like to confront him about it. I’ve talked to my mom about it and she doesn’t want me to say anything to him. She suggested that I just let it go. However I know that I won’t be able to do that. To me, this isn’t something I can just forget about. I would like some sort explanation from my father, even though I know he wont have one for me.
I’m supposed to have dinner at his house Monday night and I plan on confronting him then. My only problem is that I don’t know how I should go about this.
Any suggestions or any advice whatsoever would be greatly appreciated =]
Sorry this is so long =/
whoa.
ok, i don't know what you age is and i have never had the same problem as you. but if i was in a situation as you, i would try my best to become..well, the best. Try you best at school or a sport of an instrument, and try to make her proud. i know this sounds cheesy but this is obviously one way to do it.
another is help around the house, if she can't forgive you, she'll have to realize she can't resent her own daughter. her daughter who tries her best to help.
Also you could try and work harder and think how you can give her a nice life. that way when you become successful, you could help her right? that way you have a goal, so you'll feel more like you're not just a mistake you're a blessing.
but then there's one way. just ignore her. i know this doesn't seem like good advice, but you could just ignore her and move on with your life. but this solution isn't that great, but i'm just giving you choices.
And now your dad..
that shouldn't be too hard now that you're sure your going to confront him. you could start the conversation about school. and talk about how you have a friend, who has a boyfriend, that she knows is cheating on her, but she still goes out with him. ask him his opinion on something like that. you can be subtle and slowly build you way up.
or you could try another subtle method by talking about your mom, and ask how your mom and him met. ask if he ever cheated on her (because of some kids you know of course.)
OR you could confront him directly. say something like "DAD! i heard the most RIDICULOUS rumor. someone told me YOU cheated on mom right before the wedding! told you that was CRAZY" and if he asks you who told you, shrug and say just around. and if he pressures, say i don't remember after all it's been a while.
good luck
i am a sophmore in highschool and im starting to get really nervous about my grades and my future. i havent been doing so good this year but ive been passing. i heard the junior year counts the most? well im not in the smart math class but im in academic, well the second academic class so its not a "dumb class" or a "smart class" im passing so would i be able to get in college with that class? i failed my math class last year and never made it over and i was never asked to, if i dont make it up i wont get credits to college, correct? i have no idea what to do im really nervous! im starting to just do really well and starting to do good this term and i want to follow through for next year too.. help please
actually, when regarding college, the junior year is incredibly important, i don't want to put too much pressure on you, but the junior year is when you take the SAT's and apply for colleges.
but now i've heard that the SAT's contain things you only learn in your senior year, so i'm not sure.
but the senior year isn't that important, you just need to finish getting the credits, because by then most kids would've gotten their college applications all finished.
and if you continue doing really well all through junior year, i'm sure you'll be able to get into the college you want. the college doesn't look too much at whether your in the "smart" or "dumb" class. it just checks your credit. so if you want the credit for that math class, then you'll have to take it again.
but also make sure to take a look at your school's graduation requirements and see how many credits you need from the math department to graduate. you might not even need to get anymore credits from that department.
i met this girl on the first day of kindergarten and i'm in 8th grade right now and we have been best friends since then. over the summer, her dad died and since then she has been hanging out with all these other people but not me. it's not that i'm jealous but i still want to be good friends with her. i am not looking forward to an answer saying "move on cuz she's not a good friend" i'm just still upset about the fact that she just like stopped being my best friend overnight. is there any way to get her to like me more so she'll want to hang out with me more other than talking to her? because she's not the type to sit and listen to what i wanna hear. i'll rate high.
there was this boy i met in fourth grade, we would always trade insults. sure i would always denied i liked him. but he had his nice aspects and i somewhat considered him a friend.
but then his father died. and then he grew distant, he dropped out of school. and now i haven't seen him since 5th grade.
your friend most likely is suffering. when someone loses a family member, they have many ways of reacting. my friend reacted by dropping out and never having to face any of his old friends. perhaps, the death of her father could have triggered some sort of reaction that caused her to want to hang out with a whole new crowd. perhaps she wants to start over new, and try to forget about her father's death?
but i don't know the whole situation so i can only tell you to try to reach out to her. invite her over to do something you guys used to do before her father died.
or you could try to hang out with the other people too. that may sound conformist, but if it gets her to notice you and realize the effort you're spending on her, maybe that'll shock her into realizing she still has you.
the way to get her to become good friends with you will probably have to be to make her realize how much you want to be good friends with her. of course many would recommend talking to her, but i suggest something else.
perhaps get her a gift, maybe an inside joke or something that'll show her you still care. think about some of your favorite memories and try to incorporate that into getting her attention too.
once she realizes that she still has you, she should come around.
ok well i was watching a commercial from that new movie stick it and on one of them the girl comes out of sitting in a tub full of ice, and i was just wondering why. also i need some help on losing weight quickly on my legs and stomach and arms, i want to be skiny by june 26th. thanks ill rate 5's
well.. i can't really help with you ice question, but i CAN help with your weight goal.
there are two choices.
a diet
or excersise.
or if you want to, do both, but remember to do them consistently.
there's this one diet that my cousin was on where he drank only water, not juice or milk or soda. he said he lost about 10 pounds from that.
and then my mom has a friend who also went on a diet, he lost like 30 lbs in 3 months. and all he did was eat yogurt every morning for breakfast.
then there's another guy i know who went on a diet where he didn't eat rice. well he was chinese.. but still try it by eating grain scarcely. I don't know how much weight he lost, but he was so much skinnier than before.
And for some excersises. walking uphill should really help the leg and thigh area. i'm not sure how you'll walk uphill, but i have a treadmill that i can raise.
for your stomach, crunches or sit-ups do help. but many don't think those results show fast enough, so you can try to do pull-ups and chin-ups. it not only works your arms, but it turns out it works you stomach too.
same with jogging or just taking a walk. if you don't want a very intense workout just go for a walk. when walking, distance matters not speed. so it's a low-stress excersise.
if you do one, or maybe two of these excersises and diets consistently, then you should be able to get skinny by june 26th.
i been with my gf for about 3 months, we talked for about 4 months befor getting together. we only have communication by phone every day since we don't see each other, we only see each other on week-ends. in the 2nd month of our relationship we had sex (she was a virgin). since than we mostly spend our week-ends having sex but week days talking serious of our daily lifes. she says she loves me but i think i been come an obsession for her. what can it be obsession or love?
isn't love an obsession?
well if you want to truly distinguish it, then think about it this way.
If she's simply obsessed with you, then she'll most likely become very jealous. some people may say when people are jealous that means they truly love you. but if you really love someone wouldn't they trust you and let you go if you really aren't happy with them?
of course that's only the theoretical definition of love. But so far she hasn't really shown any signs of only being obsessed. Also if she was really obsessed she probably couldn't bear to be away from you so long. But then again if she really loved you, she would have difficulty being apart from you too.
hmm.. this is hard. to distinguish love and obsession. well i'll try to sort out my thoughts and give you advice i trust myself.
When you love someone, all you want is their happiness, they mean the world to you.
when you're obsessed with someone all you can think about it them. their every aspect. and keeping them to yourself. you think of them more like something to own rather than a person.
also, different people act differently when in love. So she might be different. but these are the theoretical ideas.