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I just don't know anymore....
I have a lot of friends, I would usually consider myself content. I like all my friends, but feel most comfortable in my little "group" of maybe 10 or so people who I think are closer. But sometimes I feel like if I left, no one would be really bothered by it. I don't feel particularly liked, and I feel extremely self-conscious when I am faced with either the choice of trying to finally talk to people I know, but don't actually have acquaintance-ships with, or just hanging out by myself. When I finally feel like I'm accepted (become part of an actual group, made guy friends, and then made friends with the most popular girl in school) there is someone who doesn't know who I am and doesn't care. Sometimes I just feel like throwing up or something because no matter how hard I try there is always something not right. Sometimes when I make friends with the "it" girl, I think that being friends with her will assure me friendships with her friends, but it never does. I like to be liked and when I'm not and put out of my comfort-zone, I feel like the little kid who's picked on and disliked. I thought that dressing nice and being nice and looking pretty and being smart would just give me a ticket into anywhere, but it doesn't. I feel like everyone is making this more difficult for me than it is for everyone else. I just feel sick and I don't know what to do. Sorry if this is long. Thanks in advance.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know this sounds retarded.... but why would you make friends with the 'it' girl just to make friends with her friends? I know I'm not supposed to give such idealistic advice, but wouldn't it be better just to make friends with people you like?
You shouldn't feel like you have to make friends for the sake of having friends.
I've made tons of friends but even with those friends, I rarely hang out with them. I spend alot of time at home and working. But I constantly get calls or invites, but I'm too busy.
Maybe you should try to become more independant. If you aren't after people, they might come after you.
People like people who exert confidence, but don't try too hard. I made alot of friends because I really didn't care whether I did or not. and I made friends. But a girl who tried too hard and tried to please everyone and make friends with everyone is pretty much shunned. Even if people DO like you, if you try too hard they'll think that you're too dependable. You know? Like you're already their friend so they don't need to make you feel liked.
Act spontaneous, don't care about making friends, because friends'll come eventually. Friends aren't what's most important. You are. So don't worry so much about it.
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I personally think that being smart and looking nice can gt u anywhere but at the same time you can't try and be someone that you're not to get people to like you. U don't have to be liked by everyone t feel important. Plus you shouldn't want to hang out with the "it" girls especially if you're being forced to be someone different that you. Boys these days like girls who are different and who don't always follow the crowd. It is good to make new friends and stuff but doing that shouldn't make you feel out of your comfort zone. So just be yourself to the fullest and its up to them of whether they like it or not.
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We all tend to feel this way every now and then, but believe me, even though there is always going to be something that could've been better, does not mean that what you're doing is wrong or not good enough. One mistake we all make is to compare ourselves to others, which is never good. The only thing that matters is that you're trying your best, you seem like a great person -- I think you may just be overanalyzing things a bit.
I'm sure your friends love you and would definitely be bothered if something happened to you, or you left, etc. You could try talking to one of them about this, I'm sure they'll talk to you about it and reassure you how maky they love you cand want you to be their friend. And if you come across a person who doesn't want to be your friend, they aren't worth getting upset over.
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