about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

Ok. Well there was this guy at my school. I liked A LOT. I mean more than anyone I've ever liked and we're (my friends and me) almost positive he liked me. But the last day of school we found out he's movin back to his country! I cried for weeks. I'm still really bummed that whenever i hear his name. I have to choke back tears! Can someone please tell me what to do?!?

http://www.2knowmyself.com/relationships_breakups/Falling_in_Love_with_Someone_You_Cant_Have/How_To_Get_Over_Someone

That has a lot of good information. It's too much to copy and paste it here.

But here's another link that may help you more specifically:

http://www.2knowmyself.com/relationship_breakups/i_can_never_forget_about_him_everything_reminds_me_of_him


It claims it can help you get over someone in a matter of days. It's up to you to decide if that's true.

--Jack
(16/m)

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Okay, so I cheer. I believe it's a sport. What is your take. I do not see why people believe it's not. Like honestly, we throw people in the hair, flip around, etc. And we recieve no credit. I would like to know what people think, and why they think it. Please support your anwser: I will rate based on how well you support yourself.

I believe that competitive cheer is a sport, but not sideline cheer. Let me explain.

Competitive cheer is where you do most of the stunting and such, which requires hours of hard work, and maybe even more than some other sports. My sister was a cheerleader all through middle school and high school, and with all the gymnastics and such that she had to do, it would be insane to NOT think it was a sport.

Sideline cheer, where the team is just cheering on another sports team really isn't a sport as much because it doesn't feature nearly as much stunting and such as competitive cheer. Yes, you do minimal stunting, but competitive inarguably has more.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i found this question somewhere and i was wondering what would be the answer for it. i kind of have the sameproblem just a little though.


"i am WAY to shy! I am starting highschool this year, in 2 weeks and I REALLY want to make some new friends. I mean, I guess I have a lot of friends but I'm finding it more and more difficult to act like myself around them. Even my best friend in the world can't entertain me. I can't hold up a conversation at ALL so I usually find myself complaining about something as a sort of "default conversation topic", which I KNOW people find complaining annoying but it's better to be talking about something than not be talking at all right?? I just don't know how to do this. I'd like to have a little group of best friends that all like each other and then a larger group of friends to hang with and stuff. Most of my friends don't really like each other, unfortunately :( there's also this little group of friends I know that are really cool and we have a lot in common but i'm not sure how I would approach them...I just don't know. PLEASE help me!!!"

If you want to know how to start a conversation with someone or a group of people, there's a lot of useful advice here:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545090


If you wanted to know about your first year of high school, here's something that may help you:

I was a freshman two years ago- and I have to say.. it was one of the most scary things I've EVER experienced! I was thrown in the trash can on the first day and it was horrible. Some kid even had to go to the emergency room! It was the WORST first day of school of my entire life! I almost didn't go back!

Haha- so hopefully you didn't take that seriously- because it really wasn't like that at all. I always play that trick on people who ask this question. C'mon- I gotta have a little fun! High school is NOT scary. It actually is a lot more fun. You have more freedoms than middle school and you can take REALLY awesome classes. If you have to chance to take a Speech class- DO IT! You think it will be the dumbest class ever and you'll be really bored- but you get the chance to get really good at speeches- and you'll learn really awesome things! When you get to be a Junior/Senior- take AP and Honors classes- these will impress colleges and they will want you to go to their college if you do well enough on them.

People may tell you that Freshmen year doesn't count for anything- so slacking off won't matter until you're an upperclassmen. This is wrong. Colleges will look at your cumulative GPA- and that includes your freshmen year. Don't slack off; you'll regret it later.

Just to debunk the rumor- There is NOT a "Freshmen Friday". Sure, this used to exist back in the 60s and 70s, but it doesn't anymore. Any school that actually still does it will probably end up getting sued by a bunch of parents. So most don't do it. Chances are, your high school won't do it.

Here is my list of DOs and DON'Ts:

Do:
-Do all of your homework.
-Make new friends [some old ones will naturally just fade away] and do this by just starting up simple conversations with people- and it will eventually lead to a great friendship. Ask someone you may want to get to know for a pencil in class.. that's a classic. Sit with new people at lunch.
-Ask the teacher for help if you need it.

Don't:
-Don't talk to seniors.. they most likely DON'T like you. The won't give you any respect.
-Don't wear revealing clothing- seniors will automatically hate you.

All in all- if you just be yourself- you'll be fine. If you have upperclassmen in any classes- you'll get to know them over the course of the year- and you may end up meeting some really great people. I know that some of my best friends I met at school freshmen year- and most of them were 10th grade or older. Not all seniors hate you- some will be welcoming- but just assume the worst in them, at first. After awhile- you'll know who to avoid and who to warm up to. You'll be fine. Don't worry.

--Jack
(16/m/Junior)

[view]

well im too attached to my dad. i don't live with him i live with my mom, and it's really hard for me not to see him all the time. i'm a total daddy's girl, and i just don't know what to do anymore. i was just over there for 2 weeks and i had to come home today, and i've been crying my eyes out since i got out of the car because i miss him. i am almost 15 years old and im bawling my eyes out like a baby because i had to leave my dad. i want to live with him, but i dont know because my mom would probably be really upset, and i just dont know. i need help. why am i so attached, how do i stop crying? someone please let me know because i want to stop crying but i cant because i miss him so much already.

Why don't you ask your mom if you could see your dad more, seeing as you don't see him much as of right now. Like maybe every weekend or so? If she isn't willing to make that compromise, there's not much more you can do.

And I don't think it's odd that you're attached to your dad. It's definitely a lot better than hating his guts, you know? ;] I say you're fine =].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Here's the story: I wanted to create a Writing Club at my school this year, but another girl had the same idea as mine. I talked to her about it, and shared my ideas, but I wasn't sure if I want to collaborate with her because..

Please don't judge me as a shallow person, I'm just being realistic here.

Because she is a bit on the anti-social side..strange..etc. She's friendly, but she doesn't "get it".

But now, I'm going to have to, because she already put my name down as co-leader.

I really don't want to cooperate with her, because she does not seem to understand people, and you need to understand people to create a club.

For promotion ideas, she wanted to around reading shakespeare to random people during our lunch hour. And I was like " " That's going to turn people off more than anything.

And her equally weird friends that she invited to the club want to discuss and dissect comic books.

WTF.

My ideas for promotion was to throw a huge bash, and hire a slam poet to come read to us. Basically, the opposite of what she wants.

What do I do? I really want to make this club a success.

You said it yourself, you're going to have to cooperate with her.

You two obviously have different ideas, and if you haven't already tried talking to her, that's all you're going to be able to do. There aren't any secret tricks that are going to get her to agree with you on everything. I'm sorry about that.

Try making compromises, like maybe you could try both of your ideas. Yes, I know you said it might turn people off to the club using her idea, but you might honestly be surprised. I don't consider myself weird, but I would definitely appreciate the different way of trying to attract people to the club. If her idea doesn't work, let her know in a polite way and suggest that you two use your idea of the huge poetry bash.

Basically if you don't learn to cooperate with her now, it's going to be a miserable year for you. Once you get more people in the group, you could hold voting sessions to decide on issues, that way it's what the majority of the group will want.

Good luck ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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Going into 10th grade and I really want to make friends at school. I was there last year but i really didn't make that many friends, so I was kind of a loner. The thing is that I love people but sometimes find it hard to open up right away. But I've made it my determination to make some good friends this year. I was just wondering if you had any tips on how I should go about doing that. Thank you so much!

www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

1. Always start off with something that others don't use often. Example: You see a girl in a bar and she's sitting with some friends. You walk up to her and say, "I would like to sit with you, but before I sit down, what are you drinking?" "Bud Light (insert drink)? Good choice. I'll be back with 2 Bud Lights (insert drink) and I'll hope that this seat isn't taken when I get back."
2. Start with a "hello," and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture, e.g. in India greet by saying 'namaste' with folded hands). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step 3.
3. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it--bam!--you've got a great topic of conversation.
4. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
5. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves --- get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?" "Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
6. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
7. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
8. Don't forget to have fun with your conversation!


Tips

* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot -- newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?" This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about


Warnings

* Don't be overly invasive with questions.
* Don't use tons of fillers like "umm" or "soo". It might make the person you're talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your newly found friend more invested in your conversation.
* Don't desperately ask personal questions.
* Keep eye-contact
* Don't ever comment negatively on the person or someone's looks... you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing




I hope that helps a bit. And thanks for inboxing =]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Hey Jack,
Well I've read your profile and I can tell that you really care about school and all. I'm going into sophomore year and I was really interested in seeing what your opinion on AP classes is. I won't be taking any this year but I'll try my best to get all A's in my honors classes this year. Anyways, In total I will probably take 5 AP tests by the end of high school. Is that good? Should I take more? I really have my hopes set on Soka University of America and want to provide the best high school record possible so I can get in. Thanks!

Hey thanks for inboxing! =]

Yes, 5 AP classes is awesome. I myself will have taken, hopefully, 5 or 6 by the end of my high school career. I think it's a good number because it's more than most people but it's not an insane number.

AP classes are SO good for you. Both for challenging how you normally think and for the college application process.

I know nothing about Soka University, but as a side note, you said America. You must think that I'm from Australia as my profile says xD. I'm not, actually =].

Best of luck to you, and I would hope if you have any more questions about AP classes to ask me, and if I can't answer, I will refer you to someone ;].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

okay, so for most of the summer me & this kid have been hanging out a lot w. mutual friends and every time he alwayss flirts with me hardcore, cuddles with me, puts his arm around me and acts like he likes me. he's a flirty person but still..it felt like more because of how much chemistry we had. even our friends say so and think we look soo cute toghether..then last night we hung out and it was totally different. he was nice to everyone BUT me &acted like he hated me! he even flirted with my friend right in fronttt of me..& avoided me like i was a disease or something! :[ i don't understand how it could go from one extreme to the next. except that a lot of people found out i like him..and i think maybe someone told him..now i have no idea what to do..its so awkward but we dont know eachother well enough for me to talk to him about it..thatd just be weird. what do i do? i have to keep hanging out with him because hes still friends with my friends and whatnot. i just hate that its awkward now. i tried to be nice to him, but he acted creeped out and wouldnt even make eye contact with me. im sooo confused at what to do here.

Relax. Sometimes guys play this game because they are playing hard to get. I know I've acted like a jerk to girls before, but I told them I was kidding and we always laugh about it.

Maybe he does feel awkward that you like him? Maybe he did find out.

Hmm.. lots of maybes here. If you want the truth, you need to go to HIM and ask HIM. We do not know him and we cannot read his mind.

It could have been a joke or it could have been a serious reaction to something you did/said, etc. But the only way to know for sure is to talk to him.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

when my boyfriend comes to visit he wants to eat me out. i feel as though i am ready for this and i am excited that my boyfriend wants to please me in this way but i was wondering do guys like it if a girl wraps her legs around his neck while he is eating her? just wondering because i dont want to do something that makes him uncomfortable

I don't know and I'm sure you won't get an answer.

Besides, not everyone is the same. If you want to know if that is something he wouldn't mind, then ask him. He'll let you know what he's comfortable with if you just ask him ;].

--Jack
(16/m)

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My parents made a move this summer and it put ALOT of stress on me. Ive gained alot of weight under my arms, and on my stomach. What can I do to get it off. I know workout but what kind of workout.

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=522387

That may help you out a bit =].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i'm sixteen years old and i just found out that one of my best friends had sex. we are really close and i was surprised to hear it, especially because i thought she would tell me something like that. i don't know if i should bring it up to her because i don't want her to get angry that i found out or be embarrassed or anything. should i say anything about it or forget it?

The same thing happened with me, except my friend told me. She knew I would flip out about it, and although I did, I tried to understand where she was coming from.

Like it's been said, it's her business, and like with my friend, I don't bring it up. I let her bring it up, though we haven't talked about it lately.

If she feels comfortable telling you, she will. Just give her time.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Right, so..

I have a friend, lets call her... Sam.

She was inviting people to go and stay at a theme park for a few days. She invited nearly all of her friends, but left me out. I can't just ask if I can go, because I dont want to sound cheeky. But, I don't mean this to sound selfish. If I had gone to a theme park or somewhere to stay, I would've took her. Actually, I have took her to a awards show once.

I feel really sad.

What should I do/say?

To be honest, maybe she really doesn't consider you that much of a friend. But if you have been friends for a few months or longer, then I would say that there has to be an explanation.

Maybe, like it's been said, she could only bring a certain amount of people.

Maybe she just honestly overlooked inviting you.

Maybe she secretly hates you.

Yes, there are a lot of maybes, but you know something else? The only way you're going to know for sure why you're not invited is to ask. You don't have to be all nagging and say "WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME?! You're so rude!". Approach your friend in a mature matter and say, "Hey, I was just wondering why I wasn't invited," and she'll most likely give you an answer that maybe you didn't expect.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

how can u tell if ur a good kisser or not...i havent had my first kiss and i wanna make sure....i dont wanna go up to him and ask if im a good kisser.....any other ways?

Guys shouldn't care unless you slobber all over their face.

Here's some of my tips to help you out with kissing, if you care to look:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542507

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

14/f

lots of people have been telling me the my bf wants to take it to the next level..but i keep denying it to them....hes really sweet and really hot...when my friends and i got done with weights we asked if we could get a ride home from him and he said ok so we waited till he was done with weights in the car. It was 10 min to wear i texted him"hurry up plz" and i found out is phone was in his middle department thingy or whatever(the thing between the driver and passenger seat...so i open it and see a condom in there right next to his cellphone!!!what do i do?hes 16

I'm looking at the answers and all girls are answering. I'm a guy, so maybe my opinion might offer something different.

I personally am not a horn-dog, but I know how guys think.

If he has one condom in his car, maybe he got it from a friend or something as was thinking about asking you to have sex within the near future. If he hasn't really pressured you into doing sexual things before, I don't see why he would now, but just keep your eye out for what he does. If he doesn't ask you, maybe he's just waiting until you're ready.

If there was a package, then maybe there is some need to worry. Maybe he really IS ready to take it to the next level.

But really the only way you're going to know for sure WHY it was in there is to ask. And don't call him out on it, just ask him and be gentle. If you give him respect, you will get it in return.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i like this guy but from what i tell you, can you guys give me your opinion if you think he likes me or not?

okay so we arranged a time to hang out (through texting) and then we hung out. while we were hanging out he would always try to be near me and when i would leave the group he would tell me to come back. i was basically with him the whole night. he told alot of his secrets and like..important things and lots about his family and stuff. and when he left our hug was really long and he kinda like held me. ok by reading this your probably gunna think he likes me but then he did stuff like burp in front of me and fall alot and i remeber reading something that if a guy burps in front of you its a sign that he doesn't like you like that...can you guys tell me what you think? also if you do think he likes me, (we've only hung out twice) when do you think he'll make a move? like how long does it take for guys to be ready or whatever? thankss

im 17/f by the way.

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!



That thing about burping isn't real. Burping is a natural human thing, so maybe he just burped because he couldn't hold it in.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

14/f.

I have to read "To Kill a Mockingbird" for my reading assignments during the summer... Usually, I can read and understand a book quickly while enjoying it, but, for some reason, I really can't get into this book... How can I be interested in the book without putting it off for so long?

Thanks for inboxing!

I know that reading for summer can be a very terrible thing, and I myself have it this summer, too. But of course, I am procrastinating, too.

I guess you really just have to sit down and read it, but take 5 minute breaks between chapters or something.

Personally, I liked that book, but I have no idea how to make it fun. Sorry =/.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

hi my bf's penis is about 2.5 inches without an erection. but when he has one, it is a little above six inches. its true, i actually measured. is this normal? he is 15 btw.

Completely normal. He's still going through puberty, so he's likely not fully developed yet.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Okay well im going into my freshmann year and im really nervous.But still exited,So like does anything happen in freshmann year? when is homecomeing?? And is freshmann year like really hard?? what goes on someone tell me??

Hello.

I was a freshman two years ago- and I have to say.. it was one of the most scary things I've EVER experienced! I was thrown in the trash can on the first day and it was horrible. Some kid even had to go to the emergency room! It was the WORST first day of school of my entire life! I almost didn't go back!

Haha- so hopefully you didn't take that seriously- because it really wasn't like that at all. I always play that trick on people who ask this question. C'mon- I gotta have a little fun! High school is NOT scary. It actually is a lot more fun. You have more freedoms than middle school and you can take REALLY awesome classes. If you have to chance to take a Speech class- DO IT! You think it will be the dumbest class ever and you'll be really bored- but you get the chance to get really good at speeches- and you'll learn really awesome things! When you get to be a Junior/Senior- take AP and Honors classes- these will impress colleges and they will want you to go to their college if you do well enough on them.

People may tell you that Freshmen year doesn't count for anything- so slacking off won't matter until you're an upperclassmen. This is wrong. Colleges will look at your cumulative GPA- and that includes your freshmen year. Don't slack off; you'll regret it later.

Just to debunk the rumor- There is NOT a "Freshmen Friday". Sure, this used to exist back in the 60s and 70s, but it doesn't anymore. Any school that actually still does it will probably end up getting sued by a bunch of parents. So most don't do it. Chances are, your high school won't do it.

Here is my list of DOs and DON'Ts:

Do:
-Do all of your homework.
-Make new friends [some old ones will naturally just fade away] and do this by just starting up simple conversations with people- and it will eventually lead to a great friendship. Ask someone you may want to get to know for a pencil in class.. that's a classic. Sit with new people at lunch.
-Ask the teacher for help if you need it.

Don't:
-Don't talk to seniors.. they most likely DON'T like you. The won't give you any respect.
-Don't wear revealing clothing- seniors will automatically hate you.

All in all- if you just be yourself- you'll be fine. If you have upperclassmen in any classes- you'll get to know them over the course of the year- and you may end up meeting some really great people. I know that some of my best friends I met at school freshmen year- and most of them were 10th grade or older. Not all seniors hate you- some will be welcoming- but just assume the worst in them, at first. After awhile- you'll know who to avoid and who to warm up to. You'll be fine. Don't worry.


Ask an upperclassmen about your homecoming specifically, because we don't go to your school and we don't know.

--Jack
(16/m/Junior)

[view]

Hey DO moth balls hurt cats. My dad put them all around our yard/ house. Will it effect her?

Yes, they can hurt cats and other animals.

This link may help you:

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080620012336AA8wVHJ


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

What age do you think is appropriate to lose your virginity?

Legally, you shouldn't have sex until you've passed the age of consent in your state/country.

Morally, you shouldn't have sex until you're married, or based on when you feel you're morally ready.

Emotionally, you shouldn't have sex until ready to face the consequences of sexual relationships. That is, possible pregnancy, having a child, etc.

Financially, you shouldn't have sex until you're old enough and have enough money to support a possible child.



To me, you shouldn't have sex until you're married, though obviously not everyone lives up to that standard. But definitely DON'T have sex until you're ready, and I mean absolutely ready to face the consequences.

I think if you wait until you're married or at least with the person you will marry and will be with your entire life, it will mean something really special, rather than something to just throw around.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

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