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Virginity
What age do you think is appropriate to lose your virginity?
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Uhhh if yew ask me I think it is marriage..It is a SiN tew loose yer virginity b4 marriage..
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Legally, you shouldn't have sex until you've passed the age of consent in your state/country.
Morally, you shouldn't have sex until you're married, or based on when you feel you're morally ready.
Emotionally, you shouldn't have sex until ready to face the consequences of sexual relationships. That is, possible pregnancy, having a child, etc.
Financially, you shouldn't have sex until you're old enough and have enough money to support a possible child.
To me, you shouldn't have sex until you're married, though obviously not everyone lives up to that standard. But definitely DON'T have sex until you're ready, and I mean absolutely ready to face the consequences.
I think if you wait until you're married or at least with the person you will marry and will be with your entire life, it will mean something really special, rather than something to just throw around.
--Jack
(16/m)
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This question is really not as difficult as one may think in the beginning. It sounds as if it is complicated to figure out when the best time is for a person; however, it is very simple.
When you are prepared emotionally, physically, and financial to have children then it is the right time to engage in sexual activities. Children can be accidents, birth control is not always effective, and it's best to be completely prepared. A parent-to-be needs to make major decisions while being stable enough to handle the worst. You should be able to answer some questions like:
1. What if the baby has a defect--physical and/or mental?
2. What if I lose my current job? How will I support myself and another being?
3. Am I in a stable environment? Will I have a safe place to come home to with my child?
4. Who would tend to my child while I work to support the family? Who can I trust this well?
5. If I am a woman, can I my body handle being depleted of vital nutrients? Am I in good health? OR--Is my partner in good health? Can my partner's body handle carrying a child to full-term safely?
6. In a few years, will I be able to start answering a child's question about life, sex, drugs, and even responsibility? How would I handle this?
7. If my partner decides to abandon me, becomes extremely ill, or passes away will I be able to cope and remain stable for the sake of the child in question?
Personally, I know many people who became impregnated the same night they lost their virginity. Some were on birth control even so that alone shows the ineffectiveness of it. Some were prepared for such things and some were completely lost and had to scrap their entire life-plans to raise another being.
Personally, I'd like to be prepared so that I could give my offspring the best chance at life possible. I wouldn't want to raise a child that wasn't capable of making it in life because I wasn't ready to put down my life for his/hers.
When you are prepared for the worst and know that with your mate you will get through it together. Many people contract STDs/STIs on their first encounter from a partner that was simply unaware that they were a carrier. Many virgins have STDs from their parents and were never taught that the symptoms they experience are not healthy.
You need to be as educated as possible before engaging in sex. This means knowing all of your facts--good and bad. Many people like to pretend that they are not at risks for STDs and then when they are diagnosed they are confused, lost, and completely uninformed. If they had been responsible and researched beforehand they would have been able to cope a lot easier.
Many people now leave their partners for silly reasons. They may leave the person with all of the burden and responsibility. The person may have contracted an STD from an unfaithful partner that they will now have to live with and inform other possible partners about (embarrassing). They may have to rear a child completely on their own because of the selfishness of their past mate. Many people are in such a hurry now that they don't take the time to figure out if their partner is true and loving to them, and so they rush into things entirely too fast and get caught into a horrible mess.
To help you out some, here are a few links you should definately check out while giving this thought:
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
In short, it's right to have sex when you are prepared in every way possible--there is no way too label a specific age for this. Think about all of the possibilities--good and bad--to having sexual relations and answer them all honestly. Some people will reach this stage at age 21, some people won't reach this age until 35.
I hope I've helped educate you on this and you'll be able to make the right decisions in life. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)
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Good question. Now, here's my two cents. I've played that game. I lost my virginity at 15. I was all caught up in the moment. I didn't give two sheets about the aftermath, nor did I ask myself those "what ifs." Being a paid member here I am able to see your age and I might add that I commend you on asking such a thought provoking question. Age is of little importance except where as that person isn't able to except his or her responsibility for being a parent. Let's face it, sex is meant for reproduction. It's there for our species to survive. Yeah it feels good, if it didn't, we wouldn't do it and none of us would be here. If one isn't able to provide for one's offspring, then that person is not ready or as you might say, to young.
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There is no 'appropriate' age, because for every person it's different. You should be mature enough to accept the possible consequences of your actions, such as pregnancy, STDs/STIs, and emotional attachment. Ideally, you'd be with someone you cared about deeply/loved. And of course you would both be using appropriate methods of birth control & know how to use them properly.
So really, there's no age to pinpoint, but I think a person would have to be at least in their mid to late teenage years before being able to make a decision like this.
-LM
[16/f]
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