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My friend left me out...
Right, so..
I have a friend, lets call her... Sam.
She was inviting people to go and stay at a theme park for a few days. She invited nearly all of her friends, but left me out. I can't just ask if I can go, because I dont want to sound cheeky. But, I don't mean this to sound selfish. If I had gone to a theme park or somewhere to stay, I would've took her. Actually, I have took her to a awards show once.
I feel really sad.
What should I do/say?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
There are a couple of options as to why she didn't ask you to go, but remember to never just assume things! You could get a really bad outlook on something and find out later that it was completely wrong.
Are you guys very close lately? Maybe she feels you two have grown apart. I'm sure she appreciated the Awards Show, but that dosen't turn into a free ticket for more hangouts--Though I'd say you deserve it. If you two haven't been talking much lately, it could be reasonable that she didn't ask you to go.
Look at the group of friends she's taking: Is there something special about that group? She could be taking a certain group of people for a specific reason. For example, my friends and I have this thing called 'crew', and we usually hang out most of the time, doing certain things that would appeal to us, rather than the rest of our friends. If you're not really in that group, it could be understandable that she'd think it'd be awkward or something for you to go.
Also, can she only take a certain number of people? This could be another issue that she couldn't really get around. Assuming she's going in a parent's car or something, there's limited space, and the selection could have been the first few people she told. It's understandable that you'd be upset that she didn't choose you, but maybe there were reasons such as these involved.
She probably hasn't said anything because she feels very guilty. I wouldn't say to IM her or something and be like "Why wasn't I invited!?". Try to maybe hint at things. Ask her what's up lately, what her plans are for the summer. Maybe say you miss her and want to hang out. If the truth dosen't come out then, it probably won't. If that's the case, try to talk to one of her friends if you're close at all with them.
However, if she does tell you something, let her know how you're feeling if the reason dosen't seem um, reasonable. Tell her that you understand that she didn't invite you, but you don't really think it's fair in a way. Just make sure you hear her out before you go off.
Also, it's really understandable to be sad. Just try to talk things over and see if it cheers you up at all. If not, try to hang out with another friend the day they're going. You'll see that even if you didn't go, it could have been worth it, missing it because you could be doing something better?
XOXO
KAT.
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To be honest, maybe she really doesn't consider you that much of a friend. But if you have been friends for a few months or longer, then I would say that there has to be an explanation.
Maybe, like it's been said, she could only bring a certain amount of people.
Maybe she just honestly overlooked inviting you.
Maybe she secretly hates you.
Yes, there are a lot of maybes, but you know something else? The only way you're going to know for sure why you're not invited is to ask. You don't have to be all nagging and say "WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME?! You're so rude!". Approach your friend in a mature matter and say, "Hey, I was just wondering why I wasn't invited," and she'll most likely give you an answer that maybe you didn't expect.
--Jack
(16/m)
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maybe she could only invite a certain amount of people i've had that happen to me before. Just go up to her and say i heard you invited some friends to a theme park i was just wondering why she didn't you invite you?
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I am really sorry. But this "friend" is not doing her job, which is being a friend. A friends job is to hang out with and give a shoulder to lean on. She is doing the opposite, which is getting away. It has happened to me, but in a more extreme way, my problem was she was my best friend since I was 6 months old. Our mothers, acted like we were simonize twins, she moved a couple miles, I called her and she spoke less and less, no birthday party invites, nothing, i was out of her league. What i did is stopped being her friend. i wouldn't invite her to anything. Don't ignore her because thats just plain out immature, but don't invite her to parties, or gathering with other friends. when school stasrts u'll see her and, let me tell u she will notice that you haven't incited her. But before you do all this ask her this " If we are friends how come you did not invite me to your theme park thingy" If she says oh i forgot, do what i said, if she is like bitch please , like i would invite u, do what i said, if she gives the old, my mom doesn't like you excuse, do what i said, but if she is realy sincere and says like she means it a really convincing story, them wait til you hear of the next event, if your invited, she was true, if your not,DO WHAT i SAID!!!]
keep me posted ;)
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The best thing to do.. is not assume anything. Maybe there's a logical reason as to why she hasn't invited you. Not because there's anything wrong with you or anything, but maybe there's something else going on.
Ask her. She must know that you have an idea about this trip, and that you're probably wondering why she hasn't included you. Therefore, she's probably expecting that you're going to ask her what's going on. And you should ask her.
There's nothing wrong with being upset about this. She's your friend, and you have a right to know why you haven't been invited.
Just approach her in a nice way-- and ask about the trip. Don't invite yourself, just bring it up and casually ask why you weren't invited. Let her know that you feel left out, and you don't understand why she hasn't invited you.
Take care. =)
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First of all, I think you're right to be upset. I just want to say that. Next, have you asked her about it? Not IF you can go with, but WHY she didn't invite you in the first place.
Maybe she had a certain limit, or she thought you wouldn't like the theme park. Regardless, I'd just ask her about it, and tell her you feel really left out, and that you know if you went somewhere and got to invite friends, she'd definitely be one of the first ones you call.
Good luck =]
-Laura. (16-f)
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