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I found a condom in his car....
14/f
lots of people have been telling me the my bf wants to take it to the next level..but i keep denying it to them....hes really sweet and really hot...when my friends and i got done with weights we asked if we could get a ride home from him and he said ok so we waited till he was done with weights in the car. It was 10 min to wear i texted him"hurry up plz" and i found out is phone was in his middle department thingy or whatever(the thing between the driver and passenger seat...so i open it and see a condom in there right next to his cellphone!!!what do i do?hes 16
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Condoms?
I wouldnt really worry about it. Alot of guys 14 and up have condoms just in case, I also know a few guys who buy condoms with their friends as jokes, my boyfriend at one point bought a huge box of flavoured condoms once, he knew I wasnt going to have sex with him but he found it hilarious to go in and buy a box. If your really worried about it talk to him about sex and ask him what he thinks about you wanting to wait. If he really cares about you he'll be willing to wait until your ready. Try not to worry about it
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You don't need to do anything. Boys have raging hormones and he probably fantasizes about sex and wants to be prepared incase it miraculously happens one night. But I can tell you one thing NOT to do. DO NOT let him or your friends pressure you into sex. Sex is a very serious issue and I think alot of young girls your age don't fully comprehend the consequences that CAN happen from having sexual relations. Only you will know when you are ready to have sex, you won't be scared or nervous, you'll be prepared. And just because he's wearing a condom does NOT mean you're prepared. It is an emotional thing that ONLY YOU will know when you are comfortable enough to go through with it. And if you DO make the decision to have sex, not only use a condom, but I would take birth control as well. Condoms alone are VERY unreliable. There is always a chance that it MIGHT break and if it does, would you be ready to take care of the baby? If not, you're not ready to have sex. Good luck.
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Unless he's pressuring you into taking it to the next level, the fact that he wants to doesn't really matter. In this particular situation, all that matters is what you want and whether or not he is pressuring you into a decision.
Having a condom in his car isn't a crime. In fact, it's a good thing. It means he is prepared in case you decide to change your mind. If you feel it's neccessary, ask him about it. That's all you need to do.
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I'm looking at the answers and all girls are answering. I'm a guy, so maybe my opinion might offer something different.
I personally am not a horn-dog, but I know how guys think.
If he has one condom in his car, maybe he got it from a friend or something as was thinking about asking you to have sex within the near future. If he hasn't really pressured you into doing sexual things before, I don't see why he would now, but just keep your eye out for what he does. If he doesn't ask you, maybe he's just waiting until you're ready.
If there was a package, then maybe there is some need to worry. Maybe he really IS ready to take it to the next level.
But really the only way you're going to know for sure WHY it was in there is to ask. And don't call him out on it, just ask him and be gentle. If you give him respect, you will get it in return.
--Jack
(16/m)
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I really wouldn't worry about it. Just because he has a condom doesn't mean he is going to pressure you into having sex. A lot of guys carry condoms in their wallets or in their cars. At least he plans on being prepared if you do decide to have sex. If he is pressuring to have sex you need to talk to him about it, but don't make a big deal about it if he isn't because it will most likely embarrass him.
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Unless it's a used condom I wouldn't worry about it at all =P
Seriously. Unless he's forcing you to have sex, or pressuring you to the point it makes you uncomfortable [and you've asked him to stop and he hasn't] I'd actually give him a cookie for being responsible and having condoms just in case. His car isn't a good place to keep them, though, because extreme heat or cold can cause them to crack. You should mention that to him.
For all you know it might not even be his [a friend could have thrown it in] or his parents could have bought him condoms without his intentions to use them. My ex's parents did that... it was awkward yet hysterical. Regardless of who bought them, it's not a bad thing that your boyfriend has condoms, it's only bad that he's keeping them in the car.
Oh and by the way, I'd consider you off the hook for going through the center console, because your motive for doing so was getting his cell phone, not snooping.
-LM
[16/f]
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I would say don't worry to much, if your not ready, then don't do it, its not the end of the world if you two don't have sex. If he is pressuring you, then you need to confront him.
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I would say it's only a problem if he's been forcing you, pressuring you, or if there's been definite suspicions (oxymoronic as that sounds) of him cheating.
If not, it's not too much to worry about. You could ask him why that's there if you want, but if you trust him and he's not badgering you to have sex, then you might want to avoid that possibly awkward situation. Truth is, most guys just carry condoms around on a regular basis. Doesn't mean they're getting any, or are planning to, it's just almost like a carrying card that says "I'm a man!" for them.
So in short, that's probably just been there for quite sometime. However, if he shows signs of wanting sex and force, then there's a problem that needs to be confronted.
And just out of curiousity, why are your friends so sure that he wants to have sex with you? Is it because he said something or they heard something? Or is it just becuase he's a little bit older?
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is he forcing you to have sex? has he even talked about it? if not, don't think too much of it. if he begins pressuring you then you need to inform him of your boundaries.
it may have shocked you a little to have found a condom in his car, but if it bothers you so much that he had a condom in his car, then tell him that it bothers you. if he doesn't talk about sex then don't worry about it.
don't always listen to other people. people will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get attention and start things. if you trust your boyfriend, then don't let other people interfere. it's between you and your boyfriend what you guys do.
whatEVER you do, if he starts pressuring you to have sex, you need to dump him immediately. if he's doing things that are making you uncomfortable, it's not worth it to stay with him. there are other guys out there. he's not the only one.
and ps if you're gonna have sex, don't be stupid about it. you're only 14 and you have lots of time. make wise decisions and don't let a guy force you to do things.
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