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too shy?
i found this question somewhere and i was wondering what would be the answer for it. i kind of have the sameproblem just a little though.
"i am WAY to shy! I am starting highschool this year, in 2 weeks and I REALLY want to make some new friends. I mean, I guess I have a lot of friends but I'm finding it more and more difficult to act like myself around them. Even my best friend in the world can't entertain me. I can't hold up a conversation at ALL so I usually find myself complaining about something as a sort of "default conversation topic", which I KNOW people find complaining annoying but it's better to be talking about something than not be talking at all right?? I just don't know how to do this. I'd like to have a little group of best friends that all like each other and then a larger group of friends to hang with and stuff. Most of my friends don't really like each other, unfortunately :( there's also this little group of friends I know that are really cool and we have a lot in common but i'm not sure how I would approach them...I just don't know. PLEASE help me!!!"
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hey there.
the best advice I can give you is to just be yourself, the way you make more friends is by being positive and nice, no one wants to be friends with a crab apple. So if you don't know what to say, say something about homework. For instance, this cute guy is sitting next to you, instead of complaining and saying "I hate this I hate that" look at him and say "did you get the homework?" or "do you know when the first pep rally is?" Stuff like that is good. Then introduce yourself. Also, it is not good to always being talking. I can ramble on about anything, and its really annoying, so don't be like me. lol. Just say something if you feel is goes with the convo, if not, then don't worry about it. Just because you don't say anything doesn't make you rude. It makes you conserative, thats a good way to be.
And if you have stuff in common, mention something like for instance, if you both play soccer on the same team a couple years ago, say "so have you been playing lately?" That opens the convo, and the more things you can talk about, the more well rounded and well versed you will be become. Don't rush it, coming out of shyness, takes a little time.
Have fun in highschool! The years go by so fast, I'm already a senior. And take this advice because its the truth: Cherish each moment and year, because it flies by faster than you can ever imagine.
All the best!!
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If you want to know how to start a conversation with someone or a group of people, there's a lot of useful advice here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you wanted to know about your first year of high school, here's something that may help you:
I was a freshman two years ago- and I have to say.. it was one of the most scary things I've EVER experienced! I was thrown in the trash can on the first day and it was horrible. Some kid even had to go to the emergency room! It was the WORST first day of school of my entire life! I almost didn't go back!
Haha- so hopefully you didn't take that seriously- because it really wasn't like that at all. I always play that trick on people who ask this question. C'mon- I gotta have a little fun! High school is NOT scary. It actually is a lot more fun. You have more freedoms than middle school and you can take REALLY awesome classes. If you have to chance to take a Speech class- DO IT! You think it will be the dumbest class ever and you'll be really bored- but you get the chance to get really good at speeches- and you'll learn really awesome things! When you get to be a Junior/Senior- take AP and Honors classes- these will impress colleges and they will want you to go to their college if you do well enough on them.
People may tell you that Freshmen year doesn't count for anything- so slacking off won't matter until you're an upperclassmen. This is wrong. Colleges will look at your cumulative GPA- and that includes your freshmen year. Don't slack off; you'll regret it later.
Just to debunk the rumor- There is NOT a "Freshmen Friday". Sure, this used to exist back in the 60s and 70s, but it doesn't anymore. Any school that actually still does it will probably end up getting sued by a bunch of parents. So most don't do it. Chances are, your high school won't do it.
Here is my list of DOs and DON'Ts:
Do:
-Do all of your homework.
-Make new friends [some old ones will naturally just fade away] and do this by just starting up simple conversations with people- and it will eventually lead to a great friendship. Ask someone you may want to get to know for a pencil in class.. that's a classic. Sit with new people at lunch.
-Ask the teacher for help if you need it.
Don't:
-Don't talk to seniors.. they most likely DON'T like you. The won't give you any respect.
-Don't wear revealing clothing- seniors will automatically hate you.
All in all- if you just be yourself- you'll be fine. If you have upperclassmen in any classes- you'll get to know them over the course of the year- and you may end up meeting some really great people. I know that some of my best friends I met at school freshmen year- and most of them were 10th grade or older. Not all seniors hate you- some will be welcoming- but just assume the worst in them, at first. After awhile- you'll know who to avoid and who to warm up to. You'll be fine. Don't worry.
--Jack
(16/m/Junior)
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First off, high school isn't nearly as bad as people make it seem. It's really not.
Secondly before I even start to talk about your friends, I'll just say, be yourself. No matter what, always be yourself. If they're truly friends they'll still stick around. Never change yourself to please anyone else.
As for your friends, talk to your best friend and let her know you feel as if your drifting apart. Chances are she could be feeling the same way. It's hard to have all your friends get along, and I know mine sure don't. My boyfriend whom I absolutely adore doesn't like any of my friends which makes it difficult, but that just means you have to see them separately. I know that you say you want a small group of best friends and a larger group of friends to hang out with, but sometimes that's not possible. Be grateful and appreciative of the friends you do have, but don't be afraid to branch out and make more. It's okay for you to make new friends, but don't forget the old ones. Try hanging out with your different friends individually and when you're hanging out really get to know them personally. Really pay attention to what they enjoy and what they don't, then find something you two really enjoy doing together and your friendship should begin to be salvaged.
Meanwhile, this other group of friends you've found just start talking to them. Don't be afraid to talk to them. If you want to befriend them, do it. Walk up to them and start conversation about anything. But stay true to yourself, if they don't like you for you, then they aren't worth it.
I hope I helped some. (:
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