Gender:
FemaleLocation:
KansasOccupation:
House wife, Mother, Local LoonAge:
35Member Since:
July 15, 2006Answers:
3333Last Update:
March 11, 2013Visitors:
124541Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
Razhie
isis
theymos
Alin75
hitler_the_goat
ChevyIINova
MikeCFT
Elcee
AKSherma
more...
about
I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.I'm one of the very blessed.
I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.
Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.
Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.
I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.
advice
I wasn't sure if this belongs in Parenting or Sex, so I put it here. So I apologize if it's in the wrong category.
OK. So I'm 22 years old and having a child isn't happening anytime soon for me, but I was wondering.. can you request to have a C-section? I'm terrified of giving birth vaginally. I've heard that you can request a doctor that does elective C-sections.
Thanks.
Ok, so I'm 29 and pregnant with my second child.
Was I terrified? Absolutely.
I HAD to have a c-section. My son was in distress. I had no other option.
I would have rather had him vaginally, because now I will never experience the feeling of being the one who actually worked their tail off to bring him here. It is too risky for mother and child to try VBAC (Vaginal Birth after C-Section).
Bonus to a c-section is that you know exactly when your child is born. There is no labor, etc.
Big downfall is that it IS a surgical procedure. No surgery is easy, and if there is an option not to have a surgery done, you would rather that option.
They have to cut through your abdomen- muscle, nerves, and all. It is a long healing process. The pain is terrible and lasts for about a week after delivery.
You have to hold a pillow over your stomach to cough, because that helps cushion the pain. And yes, you HAVE to cough- they make you. They have to insure you don't have fluid build up in your lungs, which can very well happen after surgery.
My legs swelled to the point I couldn't walk.
Since they also cut through some nerves, the area surrounding my incision has no feeling.
My son is 9 months old, and I still have tender areas in the muscles surrounding my incision. (Being pregnant again so soon and stretching that all back out doesn't help any...)
With vaginal birth, yes, it hurts. It's a lot of work, and very exhausting. I was in labor for 29 hours before the c-section, and I was beat.
But everyone who tells you those nightmare labor stories will also tell you that once that baby is out, the pain you experienced doesn't matter- it was worth it all, and they generally do it again. (Unless they only wanted, or could only have one child.)
Plus, with vaginal, you don't have to do it without pain medicine. They can give you intravenous pain meds, or an epidural to make you more comfortable.
With vaginal, if everything is fine with you and the baby, you can leave 24 hours after birth. With a c-section, 3 days.
As for electing to have a c-section, that is something that is really up to your OBGYN, and hospital regulations. When that time comes, if you want to elect to have a c-section, discuss it with your OB, because some do allow it.
Realistically, it isn't the birthing process that is scary- it is motherhood.
But it's all worth it. No matter how hard or scary it gets.
ygs-29/f
Keeping personality out of the question, one of my guy friends said that it doesn't matter if a girl is super ugly or not but if she has a good body she can score guys. Is that true.. somewhat? How does that make any sense? If someone can argue for both sides for this viewpoint, that would be awesome.
Take, for instance, a girl with an ugly face and a huge chest. Where is it that a guy's attention is generally drawn?
As a general rule, not her face.
ygs-29/f
hey well i just broke up with a dude to go out with another dude and everyone is saying he likes me but only for by butt and other people says he likes me and other people also they say that he flirts with other girls and stuff so i dont know should i brake up with him or what?? plz help me this is a imergency!!!!!!!!!!
Well, you need to stop listening to everyone else and ask him this stuff straight out.
I mean, they may be truthful, but then again, it could be gossip and rumor. That means you can't really trust "everyone" as being reliable sources.
ygs-29/f
[ first off, you should know, im bi ]
my girlfriend tells me i need to change because im really protective. i dont trust her around other girls and guys. i want to change but i dont know how. how do you change yourself. i know i shudnt be changing for someone else but i REALLY love her and i wanna change for her. helpp
any sites on changing for a relationship wud help too . thanks soo much
`f/19
Well, you don't change who you are for anyone, but there is nothing wrong with changing how you treat people.
Being jealous and protective is flattering to a degree, but not if you are overboard about it. Then it can be hurtful and even insulting.
Here is a link that may help you out:
http://www.enotalone.com/article/2253.html
ygs-29/f
for a while now ive been planning to break up with my man but ive never gotten the courage to do so , and today i wish i had cuz this black guy, cameron came up to me and was like so are you single, and i had to tell him no cauz my boyfriend just walked up beside me, adn cameron was like oh then he yelled across the room "sorry man but she's taken!" i tried to se who it was but everyone had turned in our direction since he yelled! i really want to find out who it was cauz hello camerons only freind are black and ive just wanted to know what its like dating a black guy! how do i break up with my bf with out him thinking i dumped him for my mysterious black guy!?!
You just do it.
You were already planning to, so continuing this relationship isn't fair to either one of you.
He will just have to accept that you happened to already find a guy you are interested in and move on.
ygs-29/f
I couldn't really pick a category that fit my question very well. Anyway, here it goes: (Bear with me, it will be long.)
I found out about four months ago that I am pregnant. At the time, I was just 15 but I am 16 now. My mom is fine about it, because she and I are very close and she understands me. My dad was upset, but he is better now. My boyfriend is 19 years old. He wants to be fully involved in the baby's life as well as mine.
The main problem is that my dad (Whom I live with; my parents are divorced) is very controlling. He barely even lets me see my boyfriend, and even insists that the baby's last name isn't after the father. I think this entirely unfair.
Anyway, the question is this: My baby is due in May and my boyfriend and I want to live together... We want to have our own apartment, just him, the baby and me. This could be done; he has a good job and I am going to finish school even after the baby is born.
Being that I am a minor, I don't know how I can do this. I want to leave and be with my boyfriend and baby once the baby is born. I know that I am legally considered an adult if we were to be married, but I am too young, aren't I? Is there any way I can move in with my boyfriend? My mom would give me consent, but I highly doubt my dad would. Please help.
You need to ask your mom to research this for you.
You may possibly be able to get married by parental consent if your mom signs for it. That is something she would have to look into.
16 isn't too young for parental consent marriage, but that is something she can find out for certain in her research.
Other than that, there is emancipation.
Maybe this site will have answers to your questions about that, considering I don't know what state you live in:
http://answers.uslegal.com/category.php?cId=11
Or search:
The father of your baby has every right to be a part of it's life. It is for the best that you be allowed to provide a home for your child, run by it's father and mother.
You are right in wanting your child to be brought into a co-parent family.
ygs-29/f
About a week ago, I felt very uncomfortable. I was talking to someone during school, and somehow we got into the conversation of homosexuality.
She was disgusted, blunt about how all gay people should be burned to death, that they chose to be rebellious and gay and they would rot in hell forever. I, myself, am not gay, but I was so taken back by what she was saying. I told her that I did not believe in God, and that I believe that people do not choose their sexual orientation. Mind you, I am not ignorant. I was raised to believe in God, but as I have gotten older (17) I have realized my own views.
She flat out told me that I was going to hell along with all the gays, muslims, buddhists, non-believers, jews, etc; Asked why I was defending gays, and then decided to accuse me of being gay for not agreeing that gays are disgusting.
I stayed calm, and asked he what she would do if she birthed a gay child. She told me should would lock it in a closet or in their room and not let it come out until it was straight.
I am just feel offended and imposed upon. Just because I do not believe in the same thing she, or the majority of people in my area (i live in the south) do, doesn't mean I should be yelled at and accused, and meant to felt horrible about myself.
I don't impose my views upon others, but I just felt so uncomfortable when she was basically giving me a one way ticket to hell.
Should I just forget about it, and disregard her?
Help. :/
Yes. That's really all you can do. You can't change her views anymore than she can change yours.
You just have to try to sit back and laugh at her for gladly making a complete idiot of herself.
Listen, there are a LOT of people out there who are just like her. I have an uncle who thinks exactly like her. He used to drive me absolutely ape shit with his radical ideas. I learned to ignore his arrogance.
The way I look at it is this- if she is so religious, how is it she doesn't realize that NO ONE can judge who is going to hell but GOD Himself. How is she to assume that because folks don't believe in her beliefs that they are hell bound in the first place?
I mean, if it was true that only those who followed ONE certain faith were allowed into Heaven, then the only one who knows what ONE certain group of people that is is GOD Himself.
Right?
Really, now, how would her God feel about her locking her gay child in a closet, when He gave her that child to LOVE and CHERISH?
Believe what YOU want to believe and NEVER, NEVER let anyone make you feel bad about yourself for your beliefs.
Those, like her, who put you down because you "honor thy neighbor" are snotty, arrogant, egotistical, radical hypocrites.
Be PROUD of yourself that you aren't like her. Feel sorry for her, because she obviously doesn't no better than to hate.
Next time this girl, or anyone like her, start talking that trash to you, tell them you don't want to talk about it. Don't argue your point, because folks like her tend to LOVE to get into religious debates and what not.
Just tell her to shut up, show some respect, and spout her garbage to someone who actually cares what she thinks. Then literally turn your back and make conversation with the person next to you.
Sorry for the rant, but I know exactly how you feel.
ygs-29/f
Can everybody name a few things theyre asking for for Christmas? To help me out?
Like this is what I'm asking for...
*Nice hoop earrings
*iPod Touch
*Nike dunks
Thanks :]
How about accept what you are given and consider yourself lucky? Especially in a world where some kids get absolutely nothing.
Christmas isn't about getting things.
ygs-29/f
okay so ive known my boyfriend for about two years now, and ive been going out with him for 6 months. it took us a long hard time to get to this point and i know he loves me with everything hes got. well hes reallllly against drinking, and today he asked me if i did. and i didn't want to lie, even though i could've and he wouldve never found out.. . but i told him the truth, that i do. and he was SO disappointed. like..i dont think he can look at me the same way...he was just so shocked, as if im a totally different person than what he thought i was. so my question is that how do i fix this? i feel so bad, because i knew he was against it....he said hes not mad at me, just dissappointed. any advice? comments? anything..=(?
Why should he be disappointed? I mean, if he doesn't want to drink, fine. But if you want to have the occasional drink, there is nothing wrong with that, either.
He will have to get over it, or else he obviously can't except the fact that you have faults, like everyone else in the world, and the fact that you are two different people.
He can't make you be who he wants you to be, and it is completely unfair if he thinks you should be.
If he can't accept that, then where do you really think this relationship is going to get either one of you? I know you say it has been a long, hard road, but it is a road that will get even rougher yet if this is how it is going to be.
ygs-29/f
Me and my friends are in desperate need of a song for our school talent show im in 8th grade and we definiatly((dont mind my spelling :P)) dont want one that has been *recently* or is on the radio, we would like an upbeat song..thats not too fast but not too slow! if you have any suggestions you can help me on here or if its easier I.M me [on AIM] at glamourxpros thanks alot!! :)
If your talent show is in December, try something like the song "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas."
Well, maybe they don't allow that in school, I don't know, but it is an old song that is just as great every year.
ygs-29/f
ok first of i am normally the one giving advice not getting it so
Ok I am what you call an ugly fat girl that has no fashion sence at all
but i have more guy friends then girl friends but i have a problem i know that one of them likes me and has a girlfriend that is one of my friends, and i don't like him, but there is another one that idk if he does or not but i like him and what should i do
Well, you don't go out with the guy you don't like. That would be pointless.
As for the guy you DO like, take the risk. The risk of rejection is nowhere near as bad as looking back and kicking yourself wondering 'what if'.
ygs-29/f, happily married ugly fat girl with no fashion sense...
I've been with my boyfriend since Oct. 23rd 05'.
I cheated on him when we were going out around this time of year last year. about 6x. btw: i'm 16 he's 18. He lives with me and we argue quite alot. I stopped having feelings for him about 4 weeks ago, Currently he has met a new friend named J, and j's a hottie. I want to meet new people, i don't know why. I don't know if this is a bad or good thing. My boyfriend has really bad anger problems and when i tell him i don't love him or like him; he doesn't take it seriously. I just don't know what to do, can anyone help me on this one? thanks x100.
If you are seriously done with him, tell him to pack up his things and move out.
If he don't take you seriously about that, then call the police to help him off of your property.
ygs-29/f
Okay two best friends (ill try to keep this short)
Best friend one (Liz we'll call her): Liz is a controlling spoiled rotten selfish brat. She is so much fun to be around but puts me down in the process. Dont say find someone new because everytime I've tried I always go back to her no matter how many times I've gotten stepped on in the past. Its something that I cannot help and I dont know what to do
Best friend two (Kim well call her): Kim is smart and nice. She plays soccer with us and we get along. Sometimes she is too into her boyfriend but that isnt even half it. She gets everything too, but by this i mean recognition... we both got nominated for an honors society... I take much harder classes and do more community service and yet she gets in and im rejected. We both play soccer and she gets all the awards and accelades when I know I am equal or better than her (people have literally come up and said that I am and that it isnt fair).. I know we arent competing but how does she get everything.
I am on the point of a breakdown and I dont know what to do please help me I am so frustrated/hurt/done with it
Well, you can either find new friends, or accept the faults/annoyances they have.
If your friend Liz is rude to you, you need to step up and tell her you don't want to be treated that way.
If Kim excels where you don't, congratulate her and move on from it. Strive to be better next time.
That's really all you can do. All through life you will have friends who are annoying, who do things better, etc.
Stop driving yourself mad about it.
ygs-29/f
do you think black boys by bashy is a racist??
have they really banned it
"Black Boys is an inspiring, triumph of a single; Bashy delivers his positive, heartfelt message with real examples of individuals who have managed to overcome despite the greatest odds."
From the link:
http://www.britishhiphop.co.uk/reviews/12_reviews/bashy_-_back_boys_cd_naughty_boy_recordings.html
That is the kind of feedback I saw on all of the sites regarding this song.
I don't know the song, but seems it is a positive song. Why would that be racist or banned?
ygs-29/f
sooo after my last question, everyone told me i should take my chance with Jay, so i did. and we've been together for 3 days i think. and two days ago he said he loved me and cared about me more than anyone. my last bf said that, too. and he swore he would never hurt me. emotionally, i mean. and he still did. and i let him say he loves me and i believed him so i started loving him too and then it scarred me for life after he broke it off. now i dont know if i should trust Jay with my heart, or if the glue is still drying. (talking metaphorically here, sorry) how will i know that hes not going to hurt me? how will i know who to trust with my love?
Sad fact is you will NEVER know if you don't take that risk. You have to give your heart before you know he will break it. You have to give your love before you know you can trust to give it to someone.
We all get our hearts broken, stabbed, and trampled on in this life. We can't live a happy and fulfilling life if we keep our hearts locked up in order to try to protect it from pain. In the long run, keeping it locked up will only cause more heartache than anything.
The old saying rings true: "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
ygs-29/f
so for the past few weeks, i've been having personal trouble and i don't know what it might be. since i've gotten back with my boyfriend, i've been acting really different. since we're opposites, sometimes i act the way he does and not care about things, but then i realize i'm doing it and stop. little things he does like talking to girls or when girls try and flirt with him bug me and i start to get really irritable. i always have this anger in me when i think about other girls. so then i tried breaking up with him and i cried hysterically at the thought of me never being with him again because i love him so much. so i stayed with him but lately i feel like i'm not myself anymore. i really just want to go somewhere new and start off a whole new life, because sometimes it's hard for me to figure out who i truly am.
i don't know whether this is a clinical problem or what....i've noticed i don't have a regular sleep pattern (always less than 8 hours because i don't get tired until way late at night), i have RIDICULOUS mood swings (one minute i'm happy, then the next i'm angry, then i get really sad all within 20 minutes time). i've stopped eating so much because i don't feel the need for it until i grow really weak.
could it be my health? depression? lack of sleep? am i crazy?! should i go to a doctor?
i really don't know what to do. any help would be great.
Your best bet would be to take it to a therapist.
Don't think of therapy as a bad sign, because therapists are trained to know what's going on inside your head. They can do something to actually help you, when a doctor will generally just try to solve your problem with pills.
ygs-29/f
does anyone know whenever i get my period, i get these horrible cramps where i have to leave school they're so bad. how can i get them to stop? does midol really work? thanks
Try Midol or Pamprin.
If those don't work, see your doctor, because birth control can help.
ygs-29/f
What should I get my boyfriend for christmas
We were together for 4 months, broke up, went out again, for a month, broke up, and now we're back together! (our 1 month is in a few days)
So, we have a good past together.
We didn't break up cause 'it got old' or 'cheating'
we broke up cause of a girl.
don't wanna explain it all, just trying to give you guys good hints.
I love this guy so much.
he loves me too.
and I was wondering 'what should I get him for christmas?'
I was gonna get something he likes alot, but I want this to be perfect, and you know.
He's wrote me a poem before, and I wanted to write 100 reasons why I love him, hopefully even more than 100.
and I was planning on giving and picture of me and him in a frame.
does this sound alright? or does anyone know any other things
PLEASE tell me everything you can, and know
or what your giving your boyfriend!
thank you so much
Sounds like a fine idea to me.
I have to write a research paper by tomorrow (11/30/07) and I really need a topic. Obviously, I haven't started yet. I'd really like a topic on something interesting, it could be almost anything. I've already tried starting a paper on gun control but it was REALLY hard to find all the information I needed. So could anyone give a list of topics, please? Thanks.
**EDIT** Gee. I'm sorry. I said nothing about doing your homework for you, now did I? Seems as though the MODERATORS did.
I gave you a topic idea- which YOU asked for.
Thanks for the 1.
_______________________________________
How about the topic of procrastination, per chance?
ygs-29/f
if a cute guy i don't know adds me on a social website like myspace or facebook, and i message them asking them "do i know you?" and they say "no, but would you like to?" what's a witty comeback to that? he's like. a trillion years older than me. and i don't ever want to meet him in person. i just want to say something creative back and end the conversation.
14.f
How about, "No, I'm afraid of dinosaurs"?