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drinkingg and boyfriend
okay so ive known my boyfriend for about two years now, and ive been going out with him for 6 months. it took us a long hard time to get to this point and i know he loves me with everything hes got. well hes reallllly against drinking, and today he asked me if i did. and i didn't want to lie, even though i could've and he wouldve never found out.. . but i told him the truth, that i do. and he was SO disappointed. like..i dont think he can look at me the same way...he was just so shocked, as if im a totally different person than what he thought i was. so my question is that how do i fix this? i feel so bad, because i knew he was against it....he said hes not mad at me, just dissappointed. any advice? comments? anything..=(?
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I completely agree with the previous answer- your boyfriend should understand that you are not going to follow every one of his beliefs. He's against drinking, but you are not. He probably thinks of drinking in terms of binging and being an alcoholic. But having a drink or two every now and then is fine, and it certainly doesn't make you an alcoholic.
Maybe his concern is age-related (as in he thinks you're too young), or he's completely against drinking all together. Or maybe he's disappointed because you didn't tell him earlier. It could be any or all of the above. But you didn't do anything wrong, since you were honest when he asked you. It doesn't matter at all that you were already aware that he's against drinking--it has nothing to do with YOU, it is HIS personal belief, and not yours. He should understand that. And of course he's not mad at you, you didn't do anything to intentionally hurt him. If he's disappointed, it's his issue. Just let him know that you enjoy an occasional drink, and don't feel that there's anything wrong with it. You can tell him that you two can agree to disagree...that usually works in disagreements. You are two different people. You aren't going to agree with everything he says, does or believes.
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Why should he be disappointed? I mean, if he doesn't want to drink, fine. But if you want to have the occasional drink, there is nothing wrong with that, either.
He will have to get over it, or else he obviously can't except the fact that you have faults, like everyone else in the world, and the fact that you are two different people.
He can't make you be who he wants you to be, and it is completely unfair if he thinks you should be.
If he can't accept that, then where do you really think this relationship is going to get either one of you? I know you say it has been a long, hard road, but it is a road that will get even rougher yet if this is how it is going to be.
ygs-29/f
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