about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.






advice

Does anyone know if it is safe to go tanning while being pregnant? I am not positive and I do not want to hurt my baby. Thanks in advance.

I am pregnant.
No, tanning is not considered safe, neither laying in the sun or laying in a tanning bed. So best bet is to avoid UV tanning and use tanning lotion, or something of the sort.

Since your skin becomes more sensitive during pregnancy due to hormones, you should do a patch test in an inconspicuous area so you know if it will irritate your skin.

Someone said coloring your hair is unsafe- that isn't true. There is no proven harm in chemically treating your hair, and your OB will tell you that if you ask.
It is safest to wait until the second trimester and in a WELL ventilated area.
This includes dying AND perming.

ygs-29/f

[view]

13/f

I don't have like a ton of really close friends. Like maybe 2-7. So for X-Mas, I'm getting my friends gifts, small ones, but gifts nonetheless. I want to know if I should give presents to the 5 or so close friends and ignore the rest or give gifts to all my friends? Then I am faced with what should I give to casual school acquaintances, if anything? Then that would make up most everyone I know, but I wouldn't want people in my homeroom that I don't know particularly well feel bad. And should I gender-base it? Like give gifts to all my girl friends, or both boy and girl friends or what? I need to seem generous and nice, but not snobby by not giving gifts to some people. And should I give presents to teachers? Thanks in advance to whoever can help me with this mess.

Personally, I would just give gifts to my closest friends. Male and female. Make cookies, or something of the sort, to give to the rest of your friends. Male and female.

Why should you feel obligated to give gifts to everyone else? They can exchange gifts with their own friends. That doesn't make you a bad guy. So what if they get jealous? It's not like they are among your friends. Right?

ygs-29/f

[view]

i like this guy...and im pretty sure he likes me (keyword: PRETTY sure..so not 100%) i dont know how to ask him if he likes me because its just really akward, i cant ask his friends because 1)i hardly know them, 2)they are like 99% always with him, 3) his friends would be like WTF!! and i cant get my friends to talk to him because i am sooo sure he would say no..even it it is a yes. i cant ask him myself..because that would be really akward since we get along good as friends right now, so how do i figure out?? like ,is there any signs? or something? ANY advice would be so much appreciated!
Thanks:)

Ask him for his phone number. Then you will know. If he doesn't want to give it to you, he isn't interested. If he does give it to you, then he is interested, PLUS he knows you are interested without you flat out saying so.

ygs-29/f

[view]

Anyone know where I can read the entire Official Preppy Handbook for free online? A website that is completely free, and is like an eBook or something of the sort that has all or most of the book online. Thank you!

Since it is a book for sale, it is highly doubtful you can find it anywhere legal that you can read it for free.

ygs-29/f

[view]

Can you take Defensive Driving when you're 17 without an adult?

I searched and searched, but I can't find anything without knowing the state you live in. Also, everything seems to be for online testing.

Your best bet is to call your local Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and ask them your question. Really, only they will be able to give you the correct answer.

ygs-29/f

[view]

so today at school i had food poisoning where it came out the rear instead of the mouth. it was the most humiliating moment of my life, and although i don’t think anyone saw, some people know and have sent emails to me in which i have not responded to. i don’t know how i can go through the rest of high school like this. do you recommend any ways in which i can avoid maximum embarrassment at all costs? thanks.

If anyone teases you about it say "I HAD FOOD POISONING, YOU JERK."
Only an asshole will try to humiliate someone who was sick due to poisoning.
Keep that in mind. I know it doesn't help, but what kind of person are they that you should care what they think if they are going to make fun of you for that.

ygs-29/f

[view]

well im 13 years old and i have a boyfriend who is 4 years older than me...i really like him but i just cant trust him..he tells me he loves me constantly and u can tell he means it but I’m scared.....like a month ago i met this guy who is 5 years older than me .he is hella cool and we always talk. we are friends wit benefits.....I'm falling for him fast and hard .im planning on having sex wit him .but I feel kinda wrong …..what should I do im stuck i love both of them…….

To be quite honest, you must not love your boyfriend too much if you have a "friend with benefits" and plan to have sex with him.

Maybe you should break it off with your boyfriend, considering he deserves someone who respects him and returns the love he has to give by being faithful.

ygs-29/f

[view]

My boyfriend of a little over one month is Jewish, and I don't know how they do presents or anything. Could someone please tell me when I should give him something. Also, any advice on what would be appropriate to give him would be nice. He has a lot of stuff already, so I would like to do something cute and original but not too deep since it's only a month. Thank you!

Well, you should ask your boyfriend about what his family does to celebrate Hanukkah, then you will know you can't go wrong.
Don't be afraid to ask- I'm sure he will be glad to tell you how things are done, and appreciate you taking interest in his religious beliefs.

ygs-29/f

[view]

ok so one of my best friends that ive known for like 3 years, yeah his grandmother has cancer. and shes basically dying :/
he visits her in the hospital and he did today actually and he said she was really "weak" and he was really quiet and didnt really talk much. hes like that a lot lately and im pretty sure its because of his grandmother.
he lost his grandfather like 2 years ago and that pretty much devastated him, he just slept around all day for weeks and i know that thats what he'll do if his grandmother (who hes extremely close to) dies.

now, hes a guy so of course he never ever talks about his feelings.
so..what am i supposed to say? i want to get his mind off of it but its like impossible. and i want to be there for him but if he never tells me his feelings i really cant do anything for him.

so, i need some tips on what i can say or do for him.

Well, you won't get his mind off of it. You can try, but that is going to be in the front of his mind right now. There are things you CAN do for him.
You can do is let him know that you are a shoulder to lean on whenever he needs one.

Show you care- ask if you can come along to visit his grandma with him. Ask him how she is doing, how he is doing, how his family is doing. Ask him if there is ANYTHING you can do to help him and his family during this rough time.

He doesn't have to tell you his feelings for you to try to understand how he is feeling. He is hurt, sad, and possibly angry. Think how you would feel to watch a loved one suffer, if you don't already know what that is like.
It hurts to watch her be in pain. It's sad that she is going to die, an honestly, miserable death. It makes you angry that someone you love even has to go through this. And you have to watch this process, knowing there is NOTHING you can do but be there for them.

At least that is how it felt for me. I'm sure his feelings aren't far off. So now you have an idea.

If he doesn't want to discuss his feelings, don't pressure him about it. He may not want to talk about it on top of constantly thinking about it. If he wants to talk about it with you, he will.

ygs-29/f

[view]

Ok, so, after alot of things that have happened to me in my past with guys, and, just my horrible trust issues, it's hard for me to see my boyfriend talk to other girls without thinking bad things. Is this normal? Like, he moved, and that day, this one girl was like, sorry I didn't call you! Right in front of me, and after school, she was hugging him and was like, you'd better call me, and I'm so sorry you're moving, and I'm gonna miss you soooooooo much! That really bothered me for some reason. Should it? I know I'm paranoid, but, I don't know what to do. I think it's my paranoia and my trust issues that's really bothering me. After everything that's happened to me, it's impossible for me not to be paranoid. What do I do?
Thanks :]
(Sorry it's so long)

Well, of course you are going to have trust issues if you have been hurt in the past. You have to keep in mind that the guys who hurt you in the past are not your boyfriend- he is a completely different person.
You should talk to him about your feelings so he knows what's going on inside your head. He can't do anything to help you, comfort you, or reassure you if he doesn't know there is a problem.

ygs-29/f

[view]

I know some people believe that fate is predestined by God. Does God have the ability to change a person's fate, even though he is supposedly all-knowing, and perfect in his ways? If he was perfect and right-on all the time, then why would he change his plans for a person? Thanks

I don't think God controls our fate. I think he has the ability to do so if he really wanted, but I don't think he does anything, or WILL do anything to control us or our fate.

Why? Because he created us with FREE WILL. That means WE chose what we do, the paths we take, how we live, our own fate.

If that weren't the case, then why would there be a Hell? Why would there be murderers, rapists, pedophiles, abusers, etc? Why would there be war, hate, chaos, etc?

But that is just my opinion.

ygs-29/f

[view]

me and my mom just got in this huge fight i actually cant stand her i cant evne be around her anymore we have been fighting for the last 3 years. She tells me all the time to leave but the thing is she has custidy of me im now 18 and i can go whereever but i dotn have any money to go anywhere. I just talked to my father today he said if worst comes to worst i can stay with him and he also has a car for me but i need to pay the insurance and get tags for the car plates i was just wondering how much that would cost so i can go get the car which would be my first step and then go find a cheap apt. Some one please help my life is like a living hell

One day you will feel bad for fighting with your mom. Smartest thing you can ever realize is that most things just aren't worth fighting about.
Just thought I would throw that out there.

As for tags and insurance, you have to find out the tags through your county courthouse, the insurance is based on your own personal driving record, etc, and has to be estimated by your insurance company.

ygs-29/f

[view]

so i went to this website to get my dad a christmas present and i used a gift card i had gotten for my birthday to buy it. well i did it 2 times all the way to the end, but whenever i checked my balance, all the money was still there. but after i did it the 3rd time it said my card was expired. can i make a purchase even if i didn't have enough money on my card to pay for it?

Do what LM said.

You can also check "My Account," or whatever the website has that means the same, and see if you have any orders listed there that are being processed.

ygs-29/f

[view]

where can i get the nintendo wii. its sold oout like eveyrwhere! online places to doesnt matter. i need it soon for my brothers holiday gift. how much is it?

Good luck with that. :(
We tried to get one, and the ones we actually found online they wanted more than twice what you can get them in the stores. We're talking over $400.

Your best bet would be to get it for him as a belated gift. Or give him a gift card to Best Buy or someplace that sells them for the amount it would cost. I think they are going for about $250 at Best Buy? Somewhere in that ballpark.
Anyhow, give him the card and tell him it is for his Wii when they become available.

At least, that is what I would do. They cost enough as it is, and no way would I pay over $400 for it.

But maybe you'll get someone who knows of better online places.

ygs-29/f

[view]

Okay, well i am in this secret santa thing with my friends. I got my friend Alyssa, but im not that close with her. We are doing somethnig silly, funny random and stuff like that. This girl is crazy and i want to get something good. Not like "oh...thanks. =\" I want like "AHA I LOVE IT!!!! =D". What would be good? It has to be within $20-$30. Where would i get it? Thanks

Well, we don't know your friend Alyssa to even have the slightest clue. I mean, to us she is a complete stranger.

:(

ygs-29/f

[view]

I dont get it.. like for example, Elvis Presley, Bob Marley, John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, and a ton of other rockstars.. like why do they feel the need to get so drunk and take so many drugs and other crap to harm their bodies? then when they die the fans show all the support.. and yea its dissapointing.. but its like.. why do they have to do it? ive asked someone on youtube and they just said like its a custom for rockstars to do that kind of things.. but thats crazy. i mean they certainly know they could die from doing stuff like that too much? also other celebrities like marilyn monroe, or amy winehouse and other current celebs.. or infact everyone in general. drugs. alcholol. smoke. i just freaking hate it.. i dont get why people do it so much and i dont want them to cause its just a waste of their lives!!! its been bothering me for a while.. i mean is real life so pathetic they have to do that? and how do people get peer pressured into it? im 13, and i could never see myself doing anything like that, its just disgusting. but some kids get pressured.. but how the hell can you be pressured to do nasty things like that? they need to get some self respect and learn that you can make other friends. luckily in my society that kind of thing doesnt happen or atleast i've never heard of it.. not in middle school or around my friends and family. i only have 1 uncle that smokes.. i dont see him that much but the next time i do i'll try to get him to stop.. cause its just terrible. :/ its just messed up. and so basically my questions are

1. why do rockstars do these things? why do they feel the need to? dont they know it could really harm them?

2. same Q as 1, but with other celebrities.

3. same Q as 1, but with ordinary people.

4. well your opinion on it, and if you agree with me and stuff.

Like LM said, a lot of people do these same things, but the difference with famous people is that they are out in the public eye- millions of people know and WANT to know their business.

Folks aren't stupid. They know it can harm them or be fatal. They do it anyway. Why? Because they want to, it makes them feel good, takes them away from reality, you fill in the blank.

How does peer pressure work? Because so many people are so desperately trying to fit in with their peers that they will do anything to click. Even if it means drinking that shot of whiskey, smoking that joint, popping those pills, or snorting that meth, even though they know they shouldn't and don't really want to.
Just because you aren't allowing yourself to be pressured by your peers, doesn't mean there aren't millions of kids your age who are.

Just because you don't know there is a drug/alcohol problem in your society doesn't mean it isn't lurking in the shadows. I'm sure it is, unless you come from some fairy tale land. You just don't see it.

ygs-29/f


[view]

I will, firstly, say that I'm not a procrastinator. I do my work and give it in when it's due, and I don't waste time on the computer.
I'm a sophomore/15 years old/female. I have NO social life whatsoever.
Instead of enjoying my weekends, I do homework NONSTOP for 3 days! (since Friday!) WTF!?
I'm in all honors classes and I have one A.P Class. But this is just WAY TOO MUCH WORK! I can't handle it. Everyday, I have to either study for something or do pages upon pages of fucking homework! I don't know what to do. Surely every teenager in America doesn't waste their weekends studying.
What can I do? I'm the type of person that HAS to finish EVERYTHING and will have severe anxiety attacks if something isn't done. My friends don't put half as much of effort in as I do and they still get good grades. What can I do? Please help :( My life is ruined

Well, though everyone needs a social life, studying isn't a waste of time.
You need to try to set aside some time on the weekends to go out with friends and blow off steam. You deserve to- you work hard.

Honors classes require a lot of homework and studies. That is to prepare you for college, where you will be having tons of homework and studying.
But even college students make time for social fun.

As for freaking out if it isn't done- relax, take deep breaths...... It isn't going anywhere- you can finish your homework tomorrow. A few hours on Friday or Saturday night hanging out with your friends isn't going to hurt you- it's GOOD for you.

I mean, seriously, listen to yourself. You feel your wasting your time and studies are ruining your life. You need to take the time to step away from all of it so you don't feel that way about something you should feel good about.

ygs-29/f

[view]

14/f

freshman highschool all of my second cusins have chests BESIDES ME. they are 14+ and older.
my 1st cusins aren't girls so yeah.
i've been a 32 a since like 4th grade and i never grew. what the heck is wrong with me? alot of boys make fun of me... and my cusins make fun of me too.. =/ low self esteem heree.

You are ONLY 14.
Girls all have different bodies that grow at different paces.
Have patience- you WILL grow.
Maybe even bigger than your peers.
Just think- if that happens, all the fun you will have turning all those guys down who made fun of your chest before. ;)

ygs-29/f

[view]

I dated this boy for seven months, I was truly in love with him. We got into countless fights over other girls he would spend time with and definitions of cheating. Eventually I called it off. I've been miserable for the two months we've been apart, I haven't gone more then five hours without thinking of him. A lot of my friends despise him for the way the treated me at some points in the relationship.

Tonight I spent time with him, we went to dinner. It felt so .. comfortable being back with him. It was like things were finally back to normal, I even got butterflies. I think I'm still in love with it. Would it be stupid to try for a second shot at love?

You've been miserable because you got your heart broke, and it hasn't had time to heal.
Now you are thinking of going back out with him so you can feel that heartbreak all over again?
I wouldn't.

ygs-29/f

[view]


so there's this guy. i used to like him. i used to actually consider him one of my closest friends and advisors. he's 4 years older than me.

he's a jerk now. he gives shitty advice.
example:
me: I'm so sad.
him: heh. don't be sad then.

and that is the kind of advice he generally gives.
he makes fun of me with other people and then he tells me about it and laughs at me. he thinks of himself so highly that he hurts me in the process. overall: he's an a-hole.

basically, i want to put an end to our friendship. i want it to die down. he's perverted and mentally sick and can ruin my day in a flash. he ignores me and goes on to talk about himself whilst complaining when I talk about *MYSELF*.

I really want to insult him and tell him how I feel about him. How I've felt for the past 2 years. Should I do it? All those mean things... Would it be too mean? I mean, I hate the guy. I don't mind. And I know exactly what to say.
15/f

Well, since he is a jerk and you don't like that, then why lower yourself to that level?
Do end the friendship, but be the bigger person.

ygs-29/f

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker