LoveNJstyle's

advice

so here it goes
we started going out about 6 months ago. Everything was perfect. he loved me and he wanted to be the best boyfriend he could be. about a month into the relationship we had sex for the first time. i know it seems forward, but we were friends with benefits four months prior to going out.. after we had sex. we started fighting alot. he was trying to get involved with dealing drugs..and i thought he was doing drugs.. and yeah that was our first fight. we resolved it and then my best friend told me she had heard his friends talking about smoking weed with him and stuff.. so i flipped out on him again.. and he was really upset .. because he doesnt do that.. and he didnt want to lose me. we kept fighting over things.. soon my friend told me she hated him and he treats me like shit and i need to leave him. and i do admit.. he could have treated me with ALOT more respect. he always complained about what i looked like.. he never told me i was beautiful.. if i didnt wear something "sexy" i wouldnt get any sort of attention at all. where as he used to stare into my eyes and tell me how beautiful i was.. we were almost going out for 5 months when we got into a huge fight.. because i had his myspace password and he kept sending girls messages telling them how sexy they were. this hurt me.. and he ended up flipping out on me.. and im one of those kind of people who cant go to sleep at night knowing someones mad at them.. so i had him stay on the phone with me for 4 hours trying to resolve the problem...in the morning he apologised but i was still hurt and sick of the fighting .. so i sent him an email telling him how horrible he treats me. he ended up breaking up with me. it was dramatic.. he cried when he did it. so i know he didnt want to. the next day.. we didnt even look at eachother in school.. i came online when i got hoem and he begged for me back.. and i gave in. .we were just going to take a break and i gave in. the next day i asked him if we were still going to get back together eventually..and he said "idk i only said that to make you feel better" and i went to his house and screamed at him .. because he lead me on again. and then he said he'd go out with me until summer comes.. because he wants to do his own thing over the summer. stupidly i agreed. and we went out .. we've been going out.. but he's been different.. i say "i love you" and he either jokes around and makes sum dumb comment or he mumbles it back.. he tries to strangle me sometimes. .and i honestly cant tell if hes fooling around or not. we wrestled the other day.. just cutsy bf gf wrestling.. and then he started punching me.. and stuff.. and his friend saw and he was like "woah stop thats not cool" .. i have a huge buise on my arm from him punching me. and while we were wrestling i accidently kicked him in the balls.. he knew it was an accident but he still flipped out on me .. he wrapped his arm around my neck and put his hand over my mouth and nose. he held it there for a while too.. i started crying and he just kissed me better.. but still . we broke up today.. and we're supposed to be getting together next school year.. but i just want to know.. is this too serious? because i know when im in a bad situation i never notice how bad it REALLY is.. and i just want to be safe.

whatever you do, DO NOT get back together with him. you are not safe with him and this guy will never treat you right. you don't deserve any of that and he looks at you like his toy... that's disgusting. find a better man....please! please be safe.

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I wanna wear thongs but i'm like afraid what my mom would say. not really afraid but idunno how to ask her! because i remember one time she told me like she was christmas shopping with my grandma lol and they were buying me underwear? lol yeah nd my gramdma picked up a thong [by accident] and my mom was all freaking out like its a thong!!.. i mean i'm 14 i'm going into high school. but i dunno how she'd react if i told her. and i dont know how to tell her. soo do you have any ideas??? and like i was thinking about going to the mall with my friends and buying one without her knowing but that would be a problem because my best friends dont wear them and like i don't do the wash! l0l yeahh =\ so how should i bring it up??

hahaha welllll i was in the same position as you when i was your age. (maybe even younger?) ok sooo my friends were goody goodies and STILL dont wear them so my advice is to totally kick that idea out. next time you're out underwear shopping (hopefully with just your mom) pick one up or look at one and say you'd like to try wearing one. make sure its not a totally lace-y, see thru one... just a regular one (solid colors work best on moms i think). then she might give in... if she freaks out (which i doubt she will...) just be like well it's under my clothes anyway. goodluck!

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I'm 15 and female and my b/f is 20, but I'm fixing to turn 16. My mom likes my b/f but my dad doesn't. They are currently filing for custody of me even though i don't want to live with my dad. The thing is that I may have made a huge mistake. I engaged in sexual activities with my boyfriend with my consent because I love him. We have been dating for nearly two years. The thing is that my mom has just informed me that the only way the can take me away from her is if we have had sex. I don't know what to do. Please, I need advice badly.

oh wow... well no one has to know if you had sex or not. what are they gonna do, check you out to see if you did? but at the same time... if they ask you in court you can't lie. I think I would try to stay away from that topic and if it comes up say no because its not any of their business anyway, especially if they are trying to take you away from your mom using the fact that you had "illegal sexual relations".

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How long does it usually take to tan? I`m have fairly pale skin and I do burn, but I tan also. If I stay out for about an hour, nothing happens, but if I stay out for much longer I get burned!?

whatever you do, wear sunscreen. I tan easily but i've noticed that i get a better color (sometimes faster?) if i wear it cuz when i dont it's redder even if it's not a burn. water attracts sunlight... and stay hydrated too. stay out for about and hour..not much longer.

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what are some good creams for your bikini area that will leave it smooth and no red bumps?
thankz

i rate high.

i use soap but after, put on a gel deoderant. i just discovered the trick and it works.

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where can i get fake coach bags? because i dont want to buy the real ones cause they cost alot.. anyone know anywhere where i can get these?

you could try a flea market or the streets of new york. i got mine in battery park, ny from some crazy dude with a cart full of them. never pay the price they say... bring it down to about $20 if you can and if not, go to the next stand.

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In about one week, I'm going to North Carolina for Jr Beta Convention and my class is going to be going to a water park on about the third day of my period, given that it's on time. I don't really have a choice, so I HAVE to go to the water park, but my mom REALLY doesn't want me to use a tampon. She thinks I'm too young. I've looked it up and some sites say I can wear shorts over a red or a dark colored bathing suit. Mine is pink, I have black mesh shorts. They also say that when I get in the water, the flow should stop and the water should wash it away quick enough so no one will be able to tell. BUt what about when the class is walking around the water park? Is there anyway I can still have fun, not embarress myself, but not use tampons?

Welllll you could get in and it will stop while you are in (just careful getting out), hope it doesn't come, wear a pantyliner and lay out on a chair the whole time with a friend, or sneak a tampon. whatever you do, DO NOT wear a pad in the pool! if you really want to get in and stuff, ask a friend to bring you a couple light tampons... personally, i didn't ask my mom when i started using them... nor did she care when she found out because it's part of being a woman. now, i'm not going to encourage going behind your mother's back but you're going to have to use one sometime. it is your body. they aren't hard to use. grab the instructions from the box (read them through first), relax and slide it in. whatever you choose, have fun!

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well ok-i wanted to know-im a 32A and im 13-but i was flat chested in the beginning of the year-is this a good rate for growing? also--i got padded 32As,so if i go swimming in a bathing suit,would people notice the difference between my bra padded and just my swimsuit wich isnt?i never wore the padded bras in public yet,so should i wait till it gets to school time? much help is appreciated-thank you :) :) :)

unless you wear super tight clothing, the padding/bigger chestedness will not be noticeable. people usually look smaller in bathing suits so it doesn't matter when you start wearing it. it's just a little bit of padding like a normal bra so i think you'll be ok.

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I need ideas
but a screen name with these things
Summer-dance
TwinkleXToes
x3TwinkleXToes
PradisexDance

I DONT KNOW I NEED HELP! LOL

summer and dance... lets see...
[put x' & stuff in them however you like]
sunsetdancer
dancininthesun
sandytoes
flipflopntoeshoe
sandalsntoeshoes
paradisedance is good too

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My 17 year old daughter quit school, does not have a job--and does NOTHING around the house. She
does have money in savings which she has been blowing like crazy, but that's almost gone now. She lied to me about last night, said she stayed at a friends to babysit younger siblings, and I found out differently. The friends Mom doesn't even care that our daughters weren't there, so she is not much help. I don't know where my daughter is right now. When she comes home, I am going to tell her she cannot stay anywhere from now on. (she did this one other time and was grounded) I am prepared for a big fight from her, and she will probably leave without my permission. I am going to tell her that I will report her as a runaway.

However, then I have no clue what will happen next (if I get the law involved)

She might turn the story on me and say she is abused. (Which of course she is not) but she plays the role of the victim well, and threatened to call CPS another time when I put my foot down.

Her BF is 19 and lives in a bordering state, but is it against the law if he takes her across state lines? She is (17) and other people seem to think that would not be against the law because she is over 16.

So my questions are.

Is a relationship between a 17 yr old and 19 yr old legal?

What happens when a 17 yr old is reported as a run away?

Does CPS automatically believe a teenager who plays the victim?

I don't know if you've thought about it, but do you think she might being doing drugs? that could explain the school quitting, the lack of employment, the sneaking out, and the money spending. Don't bother looking for things in her room... that's not good and the best proof is in her body.
the relationship is legal- certain details vary by state.
CPS probably won't believe it automatically.. either way, i really don't think there's anything going against you.
i hope this all works out for you..

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Hello,
I was just browsing through all the columnists using a search engine and after reading some of your answers, you seem pretty rational. I am not asking a "specific" question per se. I would just like some input on this. Ok, now, there are all kinds of websites that tell you how to tell if someone is flirting with you or if they like you, but, what I would like to know is, how can you tell if a friends husband is attracted to you? They have to be more discreet about it if they are into you, naturally, because they are married and can't be open about it. So, are there any signs I should be aware of? Sometimes, I am not sure if it is flirting or just being friendly. Thanks in advance for any input.

A friend's huband...that is tricky!
I personally wouldn't worry about it if they're married because even if he is, you don't want to be the "homewrecker".
but if you must know look for any unexplained acts of kindness/friendlyness. if he stops by to see you without his wife, talks to you a little too much, touches you or seems to have to often. it really depends on what he is like to begin with or around his wife. a change in his behavior would be the dead giveaway. but like i said, don't worry about it unless he tries to actually make a move on you.

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Hi im Jasmin and im 13. I was having a normal day and i went tot he bathrroom and i saw brown stuff on my undies coming from my vagina area. what is happening? i have a boyfriend but no sexual activity ever have i had.please help!

you just had your period.

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okay under my arms, it's always dark. i shave every day & use a lot of soap each time i shower so i'm not quite sure why they get that way. i use Dove deodorant so it doesn't leave any marks er anything so it's not because of that. is there a certain deodorant i can use?? i heard lemons work. any ideas??

thanks!!

this happens to most people i know, especially the ones with dark hair. there's really not much you can do about it besides getting a new razor or using veet or nair (although i'm not sure it would really make that big of a difference..)

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I trim, and I want to start shaving. but do I just, shave it all off? I've heard that you can do different shapes like the "Bermuda Triangle", or do the "landing strip". But which would be the best thing to do? And are there other types of ways to have it look?
Thanks.

it's really up to you... it's not healthy to remove all of it tho. my friend said that even playmates have a landing strip.. so at leas thtat would be best.

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I started using Acne Free about 5 days ago, and since then my face has been itching like a beast. Has this happened to anyone else? It's started clearing my face us, but it itches so bad and dry patches are forming! My moms making me stop using it, is there anything else thats just as good? (Not ProActive, we can`t afford it)

heyyy i have this problem with prescriptions i get.. the flaking and itching (the dry patches) are a sign that you need to put some moisturizer on! i recommend curel lotion.. its like the same as the derm prescribed 'cept cheaper. (its like 6 bucks for a huge bottle.) try putting that on and see if things get better. if not, then try some regular over the counter stuff. i personally recommend that if it's in your budget, to try seeing a derm. that will really help.

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im going away soon for vacation and i never been on a plane before this will be my first time. i dont know what to expect here are some questions i would like to get answered

should i be scared
alot of people say to chew gum should i?
willl i get sick?
what should i do to keep busy?

no, don't be scared.
yes, chew gum and close your eyes at take off and landing.
no you wont get sick (unless you are nervous or eat somethin bad)
bring a laptop, mp3 player...
take motion sickness medicine 30 minutes before takeoff if you need it

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Hey I'm going to a party and my period is still irregualr so theres a very good chance that I'll be on it during the party/sleepover because in May I had it from the 23-30th or somrething like that so I'm expecting to have for the sleepover. And I'm kinda scared to wear a tampon to sleep because I don't want to get TTS but I know a ton of people who do. So like I'm not totally sure what to do. I mean if ther is a way to wear a tampon I will but I just don't know weather to not sleep over (but I don't really have a reason not the besided that one), wear a pad, or tampon. So any advice will we great.

WILL RATE.

it depends how late you all stay up... it you go to bed at like 2 am... set your phone alarm for 8 am and then go and change it real fast. i personally dont usually get a lot when i sleep... so you could wear a tampon then change to a pad right before you go to sleep.

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I wear a 00 in pants.
I'm going into 9th grade and would like to be a 0 by then. I'm 4'11 and 82lbs. (00's are still a little big on me)
So how much weight would I have to gain to fit in a 0. If your a zero what do you weight?

Once you start 9th grade, you'll put on some weight. most people do...so don't worry about it. sizes aren't by weight... some girls that weigh more than me are a smaller size so it really depends on where your body stores fat and stuff. if you put on about 10 pounds you could wear a 0.

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I was wondering if anyone knew the minumum age of workers at these stores:

Kroger
Targer
Tom Thumb
Chickfila

Also does anyone know companies that hire 15 year olds? Thanks!

Kroger will... but it's the worst place to work.. you have to pay taxes to the union and some places only give you like 2 hours a week.
target you have to be 16.
i dont know about the others...

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I'm 18 years old and I met my boyfriend when I was 15. He's 23, we met when he was 20. okay, so I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. I absolutely love him to death. He found out I cheated on him (I kissed another guy), the first month we were together. And he knows I cheated on him 2 other times. Well, he just admitted to me, after two years that he slept with 3 girls. But he's the "party" kind of guy. He flirts all the time with other girls. I can't help but wonder if he truly loves me. He just doesn't seem that interested in me anymore. Maybe it's just me. I need some insight. Please help me, i'm going crazy. How do I know if he's cheating on me again, and if so, what do I do to make him stop and want to be with me forever?

wellll he did forgive you for cheating on him but actually sleeping with 3 other girls is a little much? you can't change him and make him never sleep with anyone else again. persoanlly i would break up with him. you don't deserve that and you'll stress yourself out to no end if you stay up wondering where he is or who he's doing. that's not right. if you don't want to break up, then tell him that you are glad he admitted it but regardless, you never ever want it to happen again.

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