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okay, i asked you guys about a 22 year old minister who loves me, a 14 year old. well, it's gotten worse. he's called me, and he told me that he had a dream about me, and we had sex. yikes! i really don't know what to do about him. i don't want to make him mad, because he knows my phone number and could easily find out where i live. any advice? (link)
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Tell your parents that you think he's invading your special space. Or call up Fox, I'm sure they'd prolly wanna make some sorta sitcom about this. Maybe your parents will let you move. If your uncomfortable around your parents, talk to a school consilor or go to the police. Just let an adult know before anything bad happens.
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Ever since I was a little kid, I've been terrified to leave my house for fear of spontaneous combustion. Is this normal? (link)
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No, you should really be afraid to leave because of the hedgehogs. Never trust a hedgehog. Especially never trust the blue ones.)
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hey, listen, i have a bad problem with boys.I mean i try so hard not to let myself seem so easy in front of them and still i fall for them. After a while i end up thinking they like me so i then i end up doing shit with them. Where i later on find out that they were using me and end up making fun of me for being so easy. How can i prevent this from happening again? (link)
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Don't screw around with them. You obviously know it's gonna happen each time, but they never really like you. Besides, you shouldn't screw with someone you haven't beeen with for very long. I shouldn't even have to tell you this. No one told me this, it's just common sense! (the rabid chickens do NOT count!!!)
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These are some of the singers I like:
Simon & Garfunkel
Indigo Girls
Christine Kane
Paul Simon
James Taylor
They Might Be Giants
Dar Williams
Woody Guthrie
Natalie Merchant
Other CDs I own include Edith Piaf, The Canadian Brass Ensemble, The Charlie Daniels Band, Enya, Counting Crows, and soundtracks for Fiddler on the Roof, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and Sister Act.
What other artists/bands might you suggest that I might like? (link)
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Mabe Evanesence (spellcheck?). Have you ever heard anything by Rammstein (spellcheck again?) Or Gackt, Silver As, Blood, Malice Mizer, or Luna Sea. Utada Hikaru is also a good singer. (You can tell; I'm obsessed. And I'm proud!)
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Ok, I play guitar..I have a guitar (always comes in handy), an amp and an fx pad. Answer this! What should I ask for when Christmas comes round? (link)
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Anime! (Anime can solve lotsa things!)
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The musical director at my theatre company has asked everyone who plays an instrument to bring it with them to the next rehearsal. I travel to rehearsals on the bus so I'm not sure whether I should. The cello doesn't belong to me but to the County music service although the case is my own( it's a hard case at least). The cello is on my Household Insurance.
Do you think I should bring it or not? I have been specifically asked to bring it because there is a shortage of bass instruments. (link)
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Talk to the musical director. If he/she says you have to bring it, then ask a friend for a ride, or ask the director if he/she can take your cello.. I have the same problem sometimes with my bass. Really, it's huge! I don't own it, either. (A decent bass cost about 800 to 1000 dollars, and I don't have enough money that i can spare.) If nothing works, then skip the rehearsal and practice at home. I'm sure you know all of the music! (right?)
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I would like to get some sort of animal as a pet. The only thing is that my dad is allergic to furry animals, and my family is very busy, so we couldn't give the pet 24/7 care that often. so, what kind of pet should I get? (link)
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A cockroach! They're small, can fend for themselves, and they live a short time! And they have no hair. Just don't let them reproduce. That's when it gets nasty...
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my favorite question of all time:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (link)
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Just as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
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How come you give weird and out of this world advice? (link)
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Because I'm a 14-year-old freshman otaku with nothing better to do, and my dad is letting me test this new modem and I've been online for four hours and nine minutes and have had nothing to eat all day. (I'm fixing Ramen right now.) aslo, I missed my cartoons this morning! I overslept.
(-_-;)
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ok i'm getting the feeling lately that staplers and staples are out to take over the world. but they can't because the bunny slippers already claimed the world and the world domination rule book states very clearly that once an inanimate object claims some planet to dominate another inanimate object can not dominate it until the other inanimate object has taken over for at least 1 month (you now how things are). but now that i have found out about the staplers and staples i have the feeling that they want to kill me so that i don't ruin their plan. which is a very bad thing because they r now following me.....and getting closer...and closer...and Closer!...and CLOSER!!!...and ::runs away from staplers and staples::. sry that i have to run but those staples hurt when they combine forces with the staplers and staple your finger to the wall!i would talk to the Government but they are already trying to take over the World and could very well just help the staplers, staples, and bunny slippers and that would not be good.not good at ALL!!! so what should i do because i can't sleep because the bunny slippers will eat my feet, i can't stay still for too long because the staplers and staples will staple me to things, and there is a giant rabbit eating all of my flowers in my garden...which has nothing to do with anything but it still is a problem. What Should I do??? Oh no...the bunny slippers are coming...they're too fast...i can't out run them...they're coming....they're AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
*monotous voice* BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!! Plz excuse us while the bunny slippers take over the world, the staplers and staples mangle the author of this letter, and the the giant bunny in her backyard eats all of the flowers in her garden.... (link)
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The important question to ask yourself is: WWJDD? What would Johnny Depp do? Backwards it's Dumbass Dillweed Just Won't Work, the dumbass dillweed being, of course, Microsoft internet explorer. Anyway, as long as I still own the universe, it's all alright. (The universe is like a rented house. It belongs to one person, but the stuff inside of the house, say, like a fork, belongs to the one who the house is being rented to.) Oh, and just incase you've been too horribly mauled to notice, neither the staples and staplers nor the bunny slippers took over the world. It was the fluffy, otaku-boffing necrodendraphiliacs of the world. They actually won the elections. I was shocked. (I pissed off the Pikachu.)
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I don't know why, but everywhere I go, Oompa Loompas follow me. They laugh and call me George. I've been thinking of flying away on my spaceship i.e. banana peel and going to live on the planet of cheese-in-a-can, but I'm not sure if they have cable there. Do you have any idea if the planet has cable, or if there is any way to avoid the Oompa Loompas? Please help, they already took my sanity! 'Twas all pink and sparkly! (link)
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Who needs sanity anyway? The neon-green pikachu stole mine! HAHAHAHAHAhahHAHHhAAHhHAhahAHhaHAHahHAhahAHhaAHhahHAahHAHahHAHhahHAHhahHAHhahAHAhHAHHAhHAHAHAHhahahahhahHahahahHAHhAHHahHHhahHhHHHHHhHHshHhahaHAHahHhhahhahHahHHHahHAHHAhhHAHahakhAkhahhaHHAHcabbage.
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I always seem to have dark circles under my eyes,always. I wear glasses so they're not that noticeable but I'd still rather not have them.
I get about 9 1/2 on school nights and a little more on the weekends so it shouldn't be solely lack of sleep.
Does anyone have any ideas why I've got them or how I could get rid of them? (link)
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They're cropcircles. The aliens are landing on your face.
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So I was walking this evening and I accidently stepped into some kerosene. I just shrug it off and keep walking with my jazz hands lookin' all cool when this guy runs by and yells "That building is on fire!" So I start running towards it all like "yeah, who's your hero now?" with my jazz hands, looking cool. I get next to the firy part and my shoes are on fire randomly. Now I'm on a laptop someone gave me. What should I do?! (link)
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Ooh, who gave you the laptop? I want one!
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What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn? (link)
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Your microwave explodes, along with the right-side-up challenged popcorn in it.
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I keep seeing signs everywhere that read, "You are a brain in a vat." Is this the central computer trying to tell me that the world around me is just an illusion? Or is some philosophy major just messing with my head? (link)
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I put those up to scare the normal and confuse the easily confused. It obviously worked.
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Like, OMIGOD, i like really like this guy who i was dating for like a year and he like cheated on me and like i'm like 12 and like will he like me if i like flip my hair and like put on the right makeup and like stuff my bra, like would that get him back? i'm so desperate like, please help!
Okay, I lied. I'm 17 and I've got tears in my eyes after reading all of the questions you get and laughing hysterically. How do you put up with these bullshit questions? If I were you I'd jump through the computer and smack half these people into next Thursday. Kbye. (link)
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Hey, that's a great question! I agree with you lotses.
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please can you help me end my addiction to horribly insulting reality television shows? it's like when i'm channel surfing and one's on i can't not stop on one... the more degrading the better. i don't know what it is about seeing people exploited, i'm just facinated by it, but for some reason i feel dumber after watching these things, like they suck out my IQ or something. is there hope? (link)
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Watch anime! There's nothing healthier than an hour or two... or fifty-seven of watching anime! Or read a book! Manga are books too! Or get off yo' lazy ass and get on the computer, and pray that you won't break it. (it's really not the best place to sit.)
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A calibrated sioux engine stole Bob Marleys condom case, and now the cops are after me. I didnt do anything wrong, but still they think I broke into a museum and ate the cheese from the library display in the cadaver section a-e. I really need help and my fish broke up with me. I dont know what I am going to do with a baby on the way. We had such good times...HELP! (link)
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Oh yeah, sorry about the cheese thing. I was hungry and craving cheese. It's all gone now.
(-_-;)
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I know this may sound very stupid, and I knwo there's nothign us girls can do about it...but just let me vent...
Am I the only one who thinks it's irritationg that only girls go through periods, having the baby (even though its a blessing, but it hurts), and they are the one's who are mostly aboused by men adn get made fun of sometimes for doing certain things that men are usually known for doing most of the time, even thuogh women can too. It just makes me so mad, becasue the boys rub it in our faces and the only thing that hurts them is when they get hit in the wrong place. I'm sorry this is just stupid and I don't have anything against the males about this but I just wanted to get everything out and see if I'm the only one who feels this way.
(link)
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Okay first, you're right about not being able to stop our period (until menopause) or having babies (just dont have sex), but there is plenty you can do about the other stuff. The only reason women are made fun of when they do somethnig like burp a lot, or cuss or have sex without being called a slut. Just do it and then make fun of all of the girls and boys who make fun of you (these narrow-minded people are also know as preps, twinkies, a scary christian people, no offense to anyone who's christian, but they're really creepy! especially Bob Jones University. my oldest sis goes there. -_-;;; Scarey, ne?) And if a boy tries to make fun of you or hurt you, take a karate class, or do something that'll cost less and make him shorter than you, because if he's hurting you, all he needs is a swift kick in the pants. That should make him quite unhappy, yes. (you can tell I like reaking havok on people. MUAHAHAAHAAAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!)
(You will obey me. I am the evil overlord of the universe.)
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It's obscenely early in the morning, I've not yet gotten to sleep. How do I GET to sleep? (link)
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Bash your head against the wall, over and over and over... you might wake up in the hospital with a massive headache.
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