"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
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so my boyfriend has cold sores, i researched a bit about it and apparently they are a type of HERPES! i am so scared now! because they are ALWAYS there, just that they are dormant! so i have kissed him before, when he didn't have the sores, does that mean i have been contaminated? like now i will have it for the rest of my life? just dormant?
and when do u know when they have healed? the last time we couldn't kiss when he had the sore on his lip, it was pink and we didn't know if it was healed or not, so we just did not kiss... (link)
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I've answered many, many questions about herpes, both oral and genital strains. I hope that these links to other questions will come in handy for you:
"Can you get an STD from giving a hand job?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=495933
"Can you contract herpes on the outside of your genitals?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541451
"How do you know if you have herpes? What is herpes anyway?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541457
"My boyfriend got sperm in my eyes. Are there risks? (Ocular herpes information)"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541866
"How did I get herpes? We used a condom and everything! Oh, and what helps calm the virus down so I don't have so many outbreaks?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=537694
When a person contracts HSV-1 or HSV-2, the virus actually lives in the body for the rest of the person's life. There is absolutely no cure.
Because the virus sleeps sometimes, it is unknown when you will have an outbreak. Sometimes people have a few symptoms of an outbreak (the area can be sore, itchy, tingly, etc.) and sometimes people have no idea that they are about to experience an outbreak.
Outbreak or not,his our body constantly is shedding skin cells all over--including his lips and genitalia. Sometimes the virus will be shed out of these areas (HSV-1 usually from the lips, HSV-2 usually from the genitals). This being said, you never know when his body is shedding some of the infected cells. Nobody can tell when they are shedding the skin cells because it is so natural your body does not react to it. There will be no "signs" to shedding the cells, you see.
When the skin cells are being shed, this is when the virus is most contagious. It is true that they are shed a lot more during an outbreak (which is why it's VERY important to never engage in sexual activity during this time). In short, he is always shedding a virus that is highly contagious--sometimes more than others.
This being said, even if he is not ill he can definately pass the virus along to another person. This is why it is very important to inform sexual partners of any kind about your condition so that they are aware of the possible consequences. There is no guarantee that he will pass it on just as there is no guarantee that he won't pass it along.
Now, it is very possible that he can transfer herpes onto the genitals of a male or female if giving oral. HSV-1 (oral herpes) can definately be contracted on genitals; however, because it is still the HSV-1 strain it is not considered genital herpes even though it would occur on the genitals. Just as some people have contracted HSV-2 (genital herpes) on their mouths, the two strains are different and cannot morph into each other.
Condoms can lessen risks of infecting someone but are not considered a preventative. Also, you can spread oral herpes onto other areas of your body so it's very important that you wash your hands before and after touching the sore (which you should do as little as possible anyway). Make sure you inform your partner about his disease so he takes special precautions.
The first outbreak usually occurs in or around the [infected or exposed] area between 3 days and 2 weeks after exposure to the virus. To be certain if you have been infected you will need to make a doctor's appointment for an STD test. They will need to take blood to test to see if the virus had infected your cells since you probably do not have a physical outbreak to scrape off at the moment.
As a note, you did the right thing by not kissing him when the lip was still pink. He was still in the "highly contagious" state. Please make sure his lips look normal again before deciding to kiss so you can lessen your infection risk.
Any other questions you have, PLEASE feel free to ask me! I am fairly well educated about herpes, including some treatments for it (no, it's not curable yet). I want people to be as educated as they possibly can be about this because it's serious business. SO, please feel free to see a question to my inbox if you have any you want me to answer.
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**15/f**
I get weirdly nostalgic about things. I can't throw away stuff from when I was younger because I'll just have this guilt tugging at the back of my mind forever. Like, three years ago I gave away my dollhouse and I STILL feel guilty about that.
And then when I look at old pictures I cry because I know that I'll never get to go back to that time in my life ever again. That's why I can't throw things away, because I feel like I'd be throwing part of ME away. Does that make any sense?
I gave away two old Britney Spears CDs last year because I figured because I don't listen to them so why still keep them? Well I felt so guilty (over throwing out CDs of a singer I clearly don't listen to anymore) that I had to go all the way out to the store and replace the two CDs. And now they're back on the same shelf they were before, collecting dust.
But it's nice to know they're there.
Weird right? I really hate this, it sort of takes over my life you know? Is there any advice out there that could help me get over this? (link)
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This really reminds me of the compulsive hoarders.
Compulsive hoarders keep a slew of random items and things other people would normally get rid of. They feel like if they throw away certain things that something major will happen and they will need them. Sometimes they just feel guilty throwing them away so they don't.
One woman struggled for months trying to throw away ONE sticker. She, of course, is an extreme case but it shows you that these sorts of things really do happen. She was afraid that when she threw the sticker away she would find a place that "needed" it or someone who really wanted it. She would put the sticker in the trashbin and within a matter of minutes would literally be having an anxiety attack over having thrown it away. Of course, she pulled the item out of the trash many times.
It's okay if this is you. There is help, therapy, and even group meetings you can join.
From what I've gathered, it starts off with a few things that a person simply feels they cannot get rid of for one reason or another. It ends up escalating to keeping things like a few years worth of newspapers, hairbrushes with broken handles, paper bags, yogurt containers, etc.
Here is some tales of compulsive hoarders from ABC News:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/Story?id=1606646&page=1
These compulsive hoarders also feel that it is taking over their lives. I would highly suggest therapy specifically for this problem and also group meetings if available in your area.
I would also suggest not to jump right into medication as treatment because this may be a learned behavior from when you were a child (example: When you were little someone gave away a doll that you really wanted to play with. You never got to play with the doll again and felt bad about it) You not even be aware of it, but there could have simply been a childhood issue that caused this. As a note, hoarders rarely respond well to medications for OCD disorders.
Here is a link about meetings for Clutterer's Anonymous:
http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/compulsive-hoarding-faq.htm
Here is the Wikipedia page about compulsive hoarding:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_hoarding
...in which it says:
Hoarding behaviour is also related to obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD).
It might not even be something as severe as that. It could simply be what you said: "...I feel like I'd be throwing part of ME away." Maybe that's all it is. Some people have problems letting go of their past memories, and this could also stem out to not wanting to grow up. It could, again, have to do with a childhood problem that you may not even remember now or that you think wasn't a big deal after all. It could be as simple as losing a favorite toy when you were a child and feeling sad for days/weeks over it, and subconsciously you feel that you had essentially lost a part of you and a part of the happiness you once had.
Any way it is, I do recommend you speak to someone to see if you can work out what's going on.
We aren't licensed therapists or anything so you really need to see a professional for proper diagnosis and treatment.
I hope you seek out the right sort of help for your problem and find yourself guilt-free later in life. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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so i've been going out with my boyfriend for 11 months today. anyways our town has a festival every year in august. it started yesterday. well he had to work yesterday till 11:30 at night so we didn't get to go to the festival together so i went with my friends. while i was hanging out with my friends my ex-boyfriend was there also. him and i are friends but my boyfriend doesn't like him. anyways him and i were talking when we looked around and saw that my friends had left. so we went looking for them just us two. well my cousin is best friends with my boyfriend and he saw my ex and i walking alone together and told my boyfriend. so now he's mad at me and i tried explaining to him that we were looking for my friends and he offered to help. so now my boyfriend is all pissed and everything.
what i want to know is it okay for him to be mad when my ex was just helping me find my friends?
sorry so long. thanks for the advice. (link)
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Whether you had sex with your ex-boyfriend or not is no matter really. The whole problem revolves around you spending alone time with a guy that you shared deep feelings with at some point in your life. You and your ex-boyfriend share some history together--this should not be a comfortable friendship situation anymore.
You chose your ex-boyfriend for certain reasons. Maybe he was handsome, wealthy, or smart. Maybe he seemed to be super kind or super popular. Maybe he was all you could get for the time being. The issue is, you decided to be with him at one point and that time has gone away now.
I find it extremely odd that you didn't notice your friends leaving the area you were in when talking with your ex-boyfriend. This means you were so wrapped up into your ex that you didn't even move away from the conversation enough to notice friends leaving.
Sex or no sex, you shouldn't be in contact with your ex-boyfriend. It simply isn't right.
Stay away from your ex, no matter how much "friendship" you two share now. The moment you two became an item is the moment you two stopped being able to be friends.
It's time now to cut off the useless contact with him unless you're saving him for back-up when your current relationship ends. That's what it looks like to me along with quite a few others, I'm sure. This also makes it look like you don't care about your current relationship. I'm just telling you what I think when I hear something like this.
Your boyfriend has every right to feel hurt. He feels betrayed, naturally. If my boyfriend went off and spend a few hours one late night with an ex-girlfriend of his I would feel like my heart was shattered.
It simply comes to this:
You spent time with another guy.
You spent time with another guy that you use to have feelings for.
You spent time with another guy that you use to have feelings for and that use to have feelings for you.
You spent time, alone, with another guy that you use to have feelings for and that use to have feelings for you.
You ditched your friends to spend time, alone, with another guy that you use to have feelings for and that use to have feelings for you.
You were so wrapped up into this guy that you COMPLETELY ignored your friends, even when they were leaving the hang-out area. Even at that, when you noticed they had gone away you felt no guilt about ignoring them and focusing on your EX!
Mentally you became attached to your ex-boyfriend in conversation. The conversation was so intense and deep that the people surrounding you went unnoticed. Time didn't matter. For a moment there you two had some form of mental connection in which you chose him over everyone else in your life. Let me ask you this:
When you were talking to your ex-boyfriend, was your current boyfriend on your mind?
Probably not. Why not? Did he not matter anymore since you were with this other guy?
And, if so, then why didn't you know how that conversation you were having would make him feel? Did you not care about his feelings?
My advice now is to deeply apologize to your boyfriend about your behavior, and cut off all contact with your ex-boyfriend. You can only apologize sincerely and hope that your boyfriend overlooks this form of psychological betrayal this one time.
Try to make this up to your boyfriend but don't expect good results. Be honest and hope he can be forgiving enough to overcome this. Your boyfriend is at no wrong.
Learn a lesson from this, apologize deeply to your current partner, and go on with life trying not to make this same mistake. If they were once your boyfriend then they can no longer be a real friend. You once shared something more than friendship with the guy--it cannot just magically go away.
I hope things turn out well and you are able to repair your relationship. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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LOVE...what does it mean to you. I'd like to have everyones outlook on it, no matter what your answer is, I'd like to hear about your outlook! (link)
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Love means caring about someone more than you care about yourself.
This means you look after the other person first. You let them have the better one of something. You do things just to make them happy, even if it's an inconvenience to you. Your first thoughts no longer revolve around yourself, but the other person instead. You take care of your loved one before yourself.
It doesn't matter what the person looks like, but you want them to have good health. It doesn't matter how the person walks, but you don't want them to be made fun of by others and get hurt. It doesn't matter if the person is deathly afraid of something, but you want to help them overcome their fears.
That right there is where a lot of people get lost about love. I hear all the time, "If he loves you then it won't matter if you're fat! Don't change yourself for someone!" If he loves me, then it WILL matter. He will want me to be healthy and happy. It would make him happy for me to live an extra year longer if I was healthier. You should WANT to change yourself for someone--to give them what happiness they deserve in life.
You try your best to be what the person deserves, whether that's a better mother, father, husband, wife, brother, sister, etc. You change what needs to be changed and improve what needs improving.
As my loving boyfriend says, when you wake up in the morning, the first thought to come into your head is, "What can I do today to bring a smile to [LOVE]'s face and happiness to his/her heart?"
I really think that's all that love is, and it seems that today a lot of people don't realize that. A lot of people claim to have love for someone but they never think if anyone but themselves--I've always wondering how in the world that can be loving.
I know I'm loved. I don't hear it all day, every day, but I know it so well. I don't have to hear that I'm loved because I have proof every day. I'm thought of first by someone. I'm taken care of by someone. Someone does whatever he can for me without asking anything in return--simply because he LOVES me.
I hope I've helped you see another perspective on love and what it means. If you have any other questions about this sort of thing, please feel free to ask me :)
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What are some supplements that promote hair growth? (on you head). I'm not looking for hair growth pills or anything... just vitamins, proteins, or minerals things like that. (link)
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To strengthen hair, you'll need to purchase some products (shampoos, conditioners, etc) to apply to the hair shaft itself.
A good multivitamin might be the place to start. Here is a list of specific vitamins and minerals you're going to want to take though:
* Vitamin A
* Vitamin C
* Vitamin E
* Biotin
* Inositol
* Niacin (Vitamin B3)
* Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5)
* Vitamin B6
* Vitamin B12
# Calcium
# Chromium
# Copper
# Iodine
# Iron
# Magnesium
# Manganese
# Potassium
# Selenium
# Silica
# Sulfur (methyl-sulfonyl-methane or MSM)
# Zinc
From:
http://hairloss.about.com/od/preventinghairloss/a/Vitamins.htm
&
http://hairloss.about.com/od/preventinghairloss/a/Minerals.htm
To strengthen your hair you should buy shampoos, conditioners, and leave-in conditioners that include pro-vitamin B5 (also referred to as panthenol). It helps to heal your hair, recovering it from split-ends. It may also help to thicken the hairs if they are thinning and breaking, making it shorter.
Remember that leave-in conditioners are your friend when it comes to dyed, dry, and damaged hair. Also, try to use products that help to protect against heat products if you are a user of blowdriers, curling irons, and even straighteners. Protecting your hair will allow it to be long and not break off easily so make sure you take good care of it.
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Ok I have taken all 3 of the gardasil vacs. Now I hear that it can cause all these sideaffects. I was just wondering if anyone can find a really good article about what they are talking about. Or if you took it and had troubles will you tell me what happened. (link)
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Believe it or not, the Gardasil shot is not all it's cracked up to be. There are serious reported cases of things like seizures, blood clots, and even possible deaths. Now, no vaccination tends to be 100% effective but we're not really sure what this vaccine will do entirely for many years to come.
Here is a link in which a woman reports the death of her daughter possibly being linked to the Gardasil shots:
http://www.eastbayexpress.com/news/one_less/Content?oid=637364
Here is a link in which a person has gathered side-effects from various women that had the shot. The person has made a table of them (which is sort-of small but readable):
http://www.kkrasnowwaterman.com/blog/tabid/2962/bid/4484/HPV-Vaccine-Gardasil-seizure-fainting-paralysis.aspx
...That includes things like seizures, death, and severe headaches/pain.
This site:
http://www.judicialwatch.org/6299.shtml
...also said:
"Side effects published by Merck & Co. warn the public about potential pain, fever, nausea, dizziness and itching after receiving the vaccine. Indeed, 77% of the adverse reactions reported are typical side effects to vaccinations. But other more serious side effects reported include paralysis, Bells Palsy, Guillain-Barre Syndrome, and seizures."
Here is also another site that informs others how serious the side-effects can be:
http://www.macleans.ca/article.jsp?content=20070827_108312_108312&source=srch
This also has some things to say about the Gardasil vaccine:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/261430/concerns_grow_as_gardasil_the_cervical.html
I did read that Merck (the makers of Gardasil) did add to the side effects list: Bells Palsy, paralysis, seizures, and Guillain-Barre Syndrome. Those are all very serious conditions to be developing after a vaccine used to help prevent only four types of HPV.
The four strains of HPV it helps prevent are numbers 16, 18, 6, and 11. There are more than 100 strains of HPV though. Strains 16 and 18 cause cervical cancer and 6 and 11 cause genital warts; however, there are many other strains that cause the same thing and that are transmitted the same way. EDIT TO ADD IN: Gardasil does NOT prevent ovarian cancer and has nothing to do with the prevention of such cancer.
Genital cancers are caused by HPV strain numbers 16, 18, 31, 33, 35, 39, 45, 51. Genital warts are caused by 6, 11, 42, 43, 44, 55 and some others I'm not sure of. Other different strains of HPV are also responsible for warts on the hands and feet, a scaly skin disease, and even an oral infection that causes masses on oral mucus membranes.
I also want to point out that as I was searching for links to post here for you to check out, I saw a lot of lawsuit websites where some people are taking legal action to sue Merck for the severe side-effects they experienced. I'm not sure if they have a true lawsuit yet or if they're just claims so far.
Like I said, no vaccination tends to be 100% safe. It's up to you to decide if you want to risk the possible very-harmful side effects that could come along with it. For me, I'd like to give it a few years before even thinking of possibility getting the shot.
The vaccine is so new for all we know it makes women infertile (a major fear of mine which is why I refuse to get the vaccination). We won't be sure what exactly it MAY do to our bodies until quite a few years down the road. I know that in pregnant women it causes miscarriages and major birth defects but it's still early to really find out if it causes anything in women who get pregnant AFTER receiving the shot.
I hope you find the things you're looking for and I hope I've helped your search a little.
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Ok so I am 18 and have been having sex with this one guy and everything seems to be fine, but I am a little worried. I have not yet made it to get on birthcontrol, but we also stupidly dont use protection when having sex. Can I get pregnant the day before my period, and how will I know if I did get pregnant? (link)
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You are not actually ovulating during or right before your period, but you can most definately become pregnant during this time as well as any other time during your cycle.
A woman ovulates, roughly, 14 or 15 days from the beginning of her last period; however, if your period is not a perfectly exact 28 day cycle then this can be thrown off. Ovulation lasts only a few days meaning about two or three) each cycle. Your body's temperature slightly changes during this time and you secrete more cervical mucus to ensure there is enough for sperm to travel in properly. During this time sperm that entire your body are able to live slightly longer than usual. Sperm typically can live in a woman's body for 5 - 7days, though it is not unheard of to find a few still alive at the two week mark.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg. Sperm are well equipped to find their way to their goal and they will do anything to ensure fertilization. A man's pre-ejaculatory fluid can be hard to distinguish after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse because it is a smaller quantity and is thinner. Men are not aware of when they release this pre-ejaculatory fluid so there is no way to stop it. Yes, it is likely it contacts sperm that can still impregnate you just the same.
Also, ovulation is actually when you are at your peak fertility zone. Basically, you are equally fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes). So, this means you can get pregnant during ANY day of your regular cycle equally and you have more chance of becoming pregnant during ovulation.
Ovulation tends to last a couple of days. Usually sometime during this travel is when the egg becomes fertilized and it attaches to your uterine wall when it reaches your uterus. Sometimes the egg is fertilized in the uterus; sometimes the egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube way too early and a baby begins to grown in the tube (which can cause MAJOR issues and can be very dangerous).
It can be extremely difficult to tell if you're ovulating or not if you're not keeping a very close track on your daily discharge and internal temperature. Many things can also throw off your regular ovulation cycle such as: stress, hormonal birth control, antibiotics, weight loss and gain, and major diet changes.
After you have sex you actually do not instantly become pregnant--it can take days before the sperm find and fertilize the egg and then another 6 - 10 days for the egg to actually attach to your uterine wall. Sperm can live in your body for a long time--they've even been some found alive in a woman 2 weeks after being ejaculated inside of her!
This being said, it could take weeks to actually become pregnant after one sexual encounter. It could be that you were so early into pregnancy that your body had not produce enough of the hCG hormone yet.
Take a home pregnancy test a couple of weeks after you engaged in sexual intercourse to find out if you're pregnant. It would probably be best if you waited until your NEXT period came/missed first. Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others. You may want to pick up a couple of those for home usage.
Just because a home pregnancy test says negative (no pregnancy) does not mean it's right. Some show false-negatives (by the way, no such thing as a false-positive with these things) so it's BEST if you actually have a doctor run a pregnancy test by taking some blood.
I hope I've helped you out in understanding how your body works. If you have any other questions regarding this matter feel free to ask me :)
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okay, i got my ears peirced a week ago today..and they still kinda hurt. they sometimes itch a little bit at the bottom of the lobe. and whenever i turn them, they kinda hurt..like kinda sting, and kinda pinch. i wouldnt turn them, but the lady that peirced them said that i have to or they'll grow over or something. and after i turn them, they hurt. my mom said it's probobly because im sleeping on them. but whats really wrong with my ears? (link)
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Just so you're aware, your flesh is completely unable to attach to the metal ring. I never twisted any of my piercings (ears included) because it is very damaging to the healing area. Your flesh will NOT attach to the ring, you do NOT have to worry about that. The only time skin ends up growing OVER a piercing is when it's too tight--not because a person didn't twist/turn them frequently. Plain and simple, they were told lies and they simply fed you what they were told.
In reality ear piercings are the same as any other body piercings really. This being said, you want to treat it like any other piercing too. I've had MANY piercings (~12) so I'll try to pass along the information I know that really does help.
Piercings will naturally be swollen and red for a few days after occurring. The body goes through a lot of trauma, especially if you had the gun used on your ears. You should really never be "gunned" again for your own safety. I'll tell you why (I posted this on another question and really cannot reword it as it suits this question very well):
"The modern piercing gun cannot be 100% sanitized because it cannot be autoclaved. There are parts that the piercer cannot reach entirely to clean with alcohol even. This means bits of other flesh (even if it's your own, it's sat there for a little while and grown bacteria) will be jammed into the fresh wound.
If the gun is used on other people than yourself then you're subject to contracting Hepatitis or even HIV from it.
Also, the piercing gun does damage to the surrounding tissue of the puncture wound. They can cause excess scar tissue. This is because it punctures your body by blunt force instead of a sharp, clean, swift motion of a needle. This trauma to your flesh can cause more soreness and makes it more prone to infection.
Even a simple infection can leave your body deformed. You may have to see a doctor multiple times and may end up having the piercing lanced if a pocket of infection grows."
So, next time you're looking to get a piercing, try actually going for the needle. Believe it or not, the needle actually hurts LESS than the gun and is less likely to leave the piercing hurt for days after.
Next, the way to clean any other piercing is fairly simple. You need to purchase saline solution (you can buy this at wal-mart called Wound Wash Saline, or any pharmacy for super cheap--just ask about saline solution for small puncture wounds). Pretty much all this is a good sea-salt wash for your skin.
Because the wash can dry out your skin easily, you need to only rinse off the area twice a day. When rinsing off with the solution, try not to twist the ring as suggested because it only damages the healing tissues. I have no idea for the life of me why they tell people to twist the earrings--it is damaging to your healing area and will leave you with more scar tissue than you need, for sure!
Never use alcohol or peroxide on an unhealed (or possible infected) piercing. Both of these solutions sound like a good choice; however, they tend to kill off the cells that are currently helping to health the area. These cells are what takes the infection away from the area to be dealt with and if you kill all of the good cells off, nothing can carry the dirty cells away.
Signs of infection usually include:
A noticeable warmness at the puncture area
Swelling
Yellow-to-green (not clear; clear is not bad) discharge
Discoloration of the area--usually bright red
Pain; usually throbbing
If your earring is too tight, you may need to switch them out with a long type. This usually is not recommended for an unhealed piercing because it allows more dirt to enter the piercing (removing the piercing) so you may need to see your local piercer on changing them out for you. This is usually a free service regardless if you had the piercing done there or not.
Do not remove the piercing if it is infected. You may be left with a pocket of infection in your ear that will never, ever heal properly. Trust me, you would hate going to the doctor to have them lance your ear to drain it while being on a course of antibiotics. So, if it is infected, try to let it rest while doing what I recommended above. If it doesn't get any better then see a doctor for antibiotics.
In short, rinse the earlobes off with the saline solution twice a day and do not mess with the piercing unless you absolutely need to.
I hope things go well and your piercing heals just fine. Give it some time. :)
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ok i wear tampons now. and i can put them in no problem now. but when i try to take it out, it kinda hurts. why is that. and what can i do to make it stop? (link)
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[EDITED TO ADD: I was not at all trying to "scare" you out of wearing tampons. Every response I give on this site gives plenty enough information in hopes of answering any other questions you may have. Please check out my column if you don't believe me. I take the time to thoroughly research all of my responses so that I give honest, helpful information. I am only telling you the truth and I did answer your question pretty accurately. The reason you hurt when you remove the tampon is simply because you are pulling a bit of the lining of your vagina out. You can ask your doctor if you don't believe me and I'm sure he/she will agree that tampons DO that to your body. The low rating isn't a problem at all but I do wish you'd read your responses and take into consideration the information given (and the answer given to the question that is supplied). I researched a lot about tampons and I even gave you an alternative to tampons (the cup) in case of excuses like, "I play sports!"]
I definately recommend pads for your menstrual cycle. Pads can be worn during light days, heavy days, and even simple discharge days. Tampons can only be worn during your actual period or your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome increases dramatically. You also do not need to worry about waking in the middle of the night to change your pad if you're not a heavy bleeder; however, with tampons they MUST be changed every 6 - 8 hours or bacteria will multiply so quickly it can cause some severe problems.
Symptoms of TSS include high fever, vomiting or diarrhea, severe muscle aches, a feeling of extreme weakness or dizziness, and a rash that looks like a sunburn. If you ever have these symptoms while wearing a tampon, remove it and tell an adult immediately. Have someone take you to the nearest emergency room as soon as possible.
When I tried tampons I ended up passing out over and over again within seconds of insertion. My body was obviously screaming at me that something was terribly wrong although nothing was painful at all. I often wonder if some other women have experienced this and thought it was normal because it definately is not okay to experience. I really believe it dramatically shocked my body and that's why I passed out.
My first gynecologist I had actually told me that tampons increased my risk of cancer. My mother had cancer before in her vagina area and was told to NEVER wear tampons again because if there is any cancerous cells in there it will irritate them and cause them to begin multiplying if they aren't already. My mother was also told to tell her female children this too since we are higher risk for that sort of cancer. I asked my first gynecologist about it and he definately recommended not using tampons because of the increase cancer risk.
The longer you leave a tampon in, the higher risk of TSS you are taking. Bacteria begin to grow in the warm, moist environment of your vagina. These bacteria can grow within the tampon, enter the body from inside the vagina, then invade the bloodstream, releasing toxins that can cause a very severe, life-threatening illness.
Tampons also pull a bit of your vaginal lining out when being removed, believe it or not. This is why many women who use tampons aren't as sensitive as they once were inside of their vaginas and why many tampon-users suffer from yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. The tampon also can leave particles behind from it, causing bacteria and yeast to grow on it. Another case is that women are frequently needing to purchase personal lubricant for sexual activities because their bodies have stopped producing enough natural lubricant to engage in such activities without problems.
The ripping of your flesh and leaving particles of material behind cannot be avoided when using tampons and could very well be why you experience discomfort with removal. I would be big money on that being the reason it is painful to remove tampons from your body. This will not go away until you become somewhat desensitized down there--and what woman truly wants that?! Please consider switching products for your own health and safety.
Here are some good websites about why women should stay clear of tampon-usage. Theses sites are pretty darn interesting:
http://www.thekeeperstore.com/dangers-tampons/
http://www.thebody.com/content/art497.html
http://www.earthisland.org/journal/tampons.html
http://www.frontiernet.net/~ruthb/Tampons.html
As a very last note, you may want to check out menstrual cups. Here is a link to a question about some and my answer is pretty thorough when explaining them:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=533850
I hope things are healthy and you find out what your problem is. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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lol, this is kinda embaracing, but, i have a hemoriod, its not that big, kinda small actually. but my question is, how do i get it to go away?!!?!?! (link)
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A hemorrhoid is like a very irritated bit of vein from your rectum. It can be very painful and can be caused by many things (pregnancy, heavy lifting, constipation). Roughly, 50% of Americans will suffer from having a hemorrhoid in their lifetime so it really isn't as gross or embarrassing as you first thought.
Up your fiber intake. You can buy products such as Benefiber, Metamucil, and ColonPure (from GNC) to help you get more fiber if you're not getting enough from fruits, vegetables, and grains.
Do NOT take laxatives for this though as diarrhea can upset the hemorrhoid further.
Make sure to drink your 8 glasses of water a day to keep hydrated.
Do not push as hard when you go to the bathroom. Pushing hard from constipation and lack of fiber is one of the main causes.
Try not to "hold it in" any longer than absolutely necessary. Go when your body says to.
Soak in a tub of warm water for about 10 - 15 minutes each day.
Many websites have suggested wiping after you poo with flushable wipes. There are many different kinds like the Kleenex Cottonelle, Charmin Fresh Mates, and Equate brand from Wal-Mart. These websites say it helps to keep the area clean and soothes it a bit.
Here is a little more information about hemorrhoids and it also has some tips to help relieve the pain (if you are experiencing any) in the meantime:
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/digestive/basics/090.html
There are creams (such as Preparation H) and wipes (such as Tucks Medicated Pads) you can buy for such a thing but personally I'd go see a doctor before doing anything like that just for confirmation. Most hemorrhoids go away in a few days so it's probably best you get checked out by a professional.
If left untreated, hemorrhoids may sometimes develop into a serious and dangerous condition that requires surgery for treatment. An internal hemorrhoid can become prolapsed where the inflamed vein extends outside of the anus. Usually this vein can be gently pushed back up inside the anus but there is the possibility that it will become further swollen and become entrapped. Once the vein is entrapped, the blood supply may get cut off and the vein will die, often becoming infected. Once infection sets in, it is possible that it will spread through out the entire body and cause dangerous illness.
Please try to see your doctor if possible to make sure everything is alright with you. It's better to be safe and well-informed about your body than to go down the road and find out it's progressed to something major.
I hope things go well and your hemorrhoid goes away soon so you're relieved of pain and embarrassment. Please consider seeing a doctor. If you have any more questions feel free to ask me! :)
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Ok, I want 2 know what's the signs of herpies, and HIV
Please tell me (link)
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Different people have different outbreaks when it comes to herpes. The outbreak could be small and just have one bump, or it could spread and become large and very bumpy. Here is a photo of oral herpes:
http://www.lib.uiowa.edu/hardin/md/cdc/1573.html
Sometimes women believe they only have small cuts on their vaginal area when they are having a genital outbreak. Here are photos of genital herpes (mostly of males; must click links to view the photos so they won't just pop up on you):
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
For oral herpes:
Usually the outbreak begins with a very slight tingling. It may increase to itching before a painful bump appears. The sore usually lasts 5 - 7 days and is commonly located on one of the sides of the upper lip (though it can be anywhere really). Though those are the common side-effects, some people do not experience any tingling, itching, or pain.
For genital herpes:
Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. They mistaken it with insect bites sometimes, especially if the outbreak is not severe. However, if signs and symptoms occur they can be quite pronounced. Sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Signs and symptoms during the outbreak may include a crop of painful and itchy sores, flu-like symptoms, fever, and swollen glands. Many people experience much nerve pain throughout their bodies, specifically legs and back, before and during an outbreak. Urination can be uncomfortable to painful, especially for women.
The only way you can truly know if you have herpes is to visit a doctor while having a visible outbreak so they can test it. They may scrap the area and take your blood. The blood may show antibodies for the specific strain of herpes.
Some of the first symptoms of HIV/AIDS are:
Weightloss
Sores in mouth
Sore throat
Swollen glands
Night sweats
Fever
Headache
Tiredness
Nausea
Diarrhea
Enlarged lymph nodes (neck, armpits and groin)
Later signs include the above and things like:
Rapid weight loss
Dry cough
Recurring fever or profuse night sweats
Profound and unexplained fatigue
Swollen lymph glands in the armpits, groin, or neck
Diarrhea that lasts for more than a week
White spots or unusual blemishes on the tongue, in the mouth, or in the throat
Pneumonia
Red, brown, pink, or purplish blotches on or under the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids
Memory loss, depression, and other neurological disorders
Sometimes no symptoms appear, sometimes only one will appear, and sometimes all symptoms will appear.
If you suspect that you or your partner may be infected with either of these STDs then you both need to have a full STD testing. Please call your regular doctor to make that appointment as soon as possible to prevent future problems from occurring. Your health is important and you shouldn't be waiting around, hoping that you don't have a serious disease.
If you have any more questions regarding STDs or such things please feel free to ask me! :)
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Can you die from herpies (link)
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Here is a question I answered that I give a whole lot of information about herpes on:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541457
...and here is another link in which I describe the a person that they CAN get herpes ANY WHERE on the human body:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541451
...and, lastly, here is a link in which I describe WHEN a person is at their most contagious state. Surprisingly, a person can actually spread herpes when they don't have any signs of it:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=539756
Please read my answers thoroughly and you should be a lot better educated on herpes. If you have any more questions about it, please feel free to send me an inbox question.
People typically do not die from having herpes; however, it is painful and a life-long illness that is highly contagious. It does affect your health but not so much that death would results from herpes alone. There are two different strains of the herpes virus that we commonly refer to and neither one has a side effect of death unless it is coupled with some sort of severe immune disorder, most likely.
The major deaths caused by herpes would be likely in infants. Mothers infected with the herpes virus can spread the herpes to their unborn baby. This can cause the baby to be born blind or can cause the death of the infant within hours or delivery. It is always important to talk to your doctor about your herpes if you are, or are planning to become, pregnant.
Also, you should know that if you knowingly have herpes and spread it to a partner without telling them before the sexual encounter that you have the virus they can sue you for big money. Always see a doctor for a proper diagnosis and ALWAYS inform a partner about an STD so you're not caught into a larger mess down the road.
So, take note that you can contract herpes while using a condom and when not using one. You can contract herpes on your lips, genitals, fingers, eyes, etc. Herpes can be quite painful and can be transferred/caught at any time--even when no visible signs are present.
Again, please check out the links I gave above and read all of my answers there because I explain herpes quite thoroughly.
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I dont understand the whole ovulation thing...at all. Its not the same as a period right? And my friends mom said like 2 weeks before or after your period you release a lot of discharge and you want to...have sex ahha. Is that true? or what. (link)
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Ovulation means that an egg is released from one of your ovaries and will be traveling down one of your fallopian tubes. At the end of the tube, it will go into the uterus, where it will attach the uterine wall if it's been fertilized.
In short, the egg will be released into a fallopian tube and will begin a journey down to the uterus. During this journey it will be fertilized by sperm (if sexual activity occurs and all) and will continue traveling to the uterus, where it will then implant into the uterine wall to multiply and form a baby.
Here is a diagram of the uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes so you understand how those are laid out in your body:
http://medicalimages.allrefer.com/large/normal-uterine-anatomy-cut-section.jpg
During ovulation, women tend to secrete more discharge. The discharge is slightly thicker than at other times during the woman's monthly cycle. The reason the discharge is thicker and an increased amount is because this is the woman's peak fertility time. The woman's body temperature may rise very slightly during this time, making her body the best environment for sperm to survive in.
This means that the sperm has a better swimming environment to reach the released egg. Sperm also live in this environment much longer than other time of the month. As a note, sperm have been found alive and well in a woman's body a full 2 weeks after her last sexual encounter!
Ovulation happens, roughly, midway through a woman's menstrual cycle. This means that if she has her period exactly ever 28 days then on day 14 or so (it can be a few days early or late, of course) she will be ovulating, or releasing an egg from her ovary. If the woman's cycle is not exactly a certain amount of days (like ALWAYS 28 days exactly she has her period) then there is no way she can even guess when she'll be ovulating.
Again, ovulation is the peak fertility time so it's important to always have pregnancy prevention since you cannot pinpoint when you are ovulating.
Some women may become slightly more interested in sex during this time but there is no guarantee to that. All bodies are different so there is no definite mood during this time--the woman may be irritable, suffer from headaches, have an increased libido, etc. There are a lot of changes going on during ovulation so the body can easily be stressed out.
I hope I've answered your question clearly. If you have any more questions like this please feel free to ask me! :)
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Ok, so here's the deal...im a 21 year old female and i live in Winnipeg,mb. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 6 years and we have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old babygirl. in the beginning it was great we went out and did stuff(movies,dinner ect...) now we stay at home and do nothing, like im totally fine with staying at home and watching movies and playing video games. heres the problem i think he may be losing interest in me, he doesnt show no affection towards me(hugs, kisses, cuddeling)....sometimes i think about breakin it off but i dont want him to hate me, i would stil love to be friends with him ad hang out and stuff..i dont know what to do im sooo confused!! somebody plz help me!! (link)
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You definately do not need to end the relationship over this, but you do need to start talking openly with your partner. Communication is ALWAYS key in all relationships. This means, you need to really make time for a good sit-down discussion with your partner about what you've been thinking and feeling.
Since you haven't expressed your concerns to your partner, you really have no clue as to what is going on with his side. If you're feeling bored, chances are he is too. Your relationship is a two-sided deal and you need to pull you weight as much as he needs to pull his.
Ask him what you can do to make him more active in your relationship, especially if he has expressed the disinterest in taking you out. Maybe he wishes you'd dress up more or would be more willing to do things he enjoys doing (or see movies he enjoys seeing or...well, you get the point). For all you know, he's been waiting on you to press him to go out together and has thought you've became uninterested in him. Whatever it is, ask him what you can do differently to liven things up!
You have to let him know what you feel is missing and what you wish would be happening. He has to know what he needs to "fix" to be able to change it and meet your needs. If you don't tell him that you feel like he's completely lost interest then he cannot tell you if he has or hasn't and has no idea that he needs to alter his current behavior.
Really express exactly what you've been feeling about the situation though. Let him know if you feel he's uninterested in you. You have to communicate with him for anything to go smoothly--he isn't a mind reader. Spill your guts to the man.
After discussing with him about what is going on between you two, make plans to go out one evening. If, for some reason, he puts it off then you need to let him know what it makes you think. For the "date" think of a couple of nice things you two can do together that you haven't done in awhile. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy--just time out together.
You may also want to suggest to your partner about making a date-night once a week or month--or whenever you can fit that in. Again, it doesn't have to be costly and you could possibly even do this at home with some home-made popcorn, snuggling on the couch, and a rental movie.
You may be able to find a decent neighborhood babysitter for low cost if you only spend a couple of hours out each date night. Remember to screen the babysitter so you are not leaving your child with a person irresponsible.
Remember the things you use to do that he really loved. As time goes on, couples tend to forget about complimenting each other and things become so routine they don't think about it any longer. It's always the little things that really matter. Show him you're still interested in those small ways.
In the future, remember to go to your partner first about problems. He knows your relationship and he is aware of what exactly is going on with him. He may be just as lost and confused as you are if he's feeling what you're feeling and hasn't opened up to you.
I hope things work out well between you and your partner. If you have any more questions then please feel free to ask me :)
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well im no lesbian but me and my friend are quite bisexual.
so I was wondering if I can get an std from her.
like idk if she has anything but I know that when she had sex recently she let the guy cum in her.
&& all we did was like
-makeout
-finger
-eat out
-69
so any possible way?
anything will help.
please and thank you.
(link)
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Female on female sexual interactions also spread disease and infections very efficiently. You run a pretty high risk of contracting any STD/STI she has, especially since she is also sexually active with other partners.
Making out STD risk:
This would mainly be risking contracting herpes. Usually you will contract the HSV-1 strain (herpes 1), otherwise known as oral herpes. For some good information on herpes, how it's spread, and what it is exactly, check this link out:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541457
Fingering or mutual masturbating:
HPV can live under the fingernails and herpes is so easily spread that many people with coldsores even end up having sores on their fingertips at some point. You touch so many things during the day you have no idea what's on your hands or deep in your nails that you cannot reach to wash away. You, most certainly, can contract herpes on any area of your body, just as a note. You are at risk of contracting HPV from your friend's nails and herpes from her fingertips and nails if she has come in contact with such viruses during the day (extremely risky if she has herpes or hpv herself).
Eating out or oral sex (this includes "69"):
You are running the risk of oral/genital HPV, both strains of herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-1, otherwise known as oral herpes and genital herpes), chlamydia, syphilis, and even HIV.
Here is some really good questions people have asked before that very much relates to your question:
"Can you get an STD from giving a hand job?" (This is equal to you fingering your friend or her fingering you):
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=495933
"Coldsores means herpes, right? Well, when am I considered contagious then?" (in cause you or your friend has herpes):
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=539756
"Where can you contract herpes at? Just your genitals...right?" (wrong, you can contract it anywhere):
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541451
"I just engaged in oral sex. Am I at risk for anything?" (although the person engaged in oral sex with a male partner, this is equal to you engaging in oral sex with your female partner as well):
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=544009
Make sure to read my answer on each of those questions listed above. My answers contain some very good knowledge that you really need to know.
You really should make an appointment with your doctor to have an STD/STI screening, as your partner should as well. STDs are SO common now that it's extremely easy to catch something. Many men and women are simply unaware that they have contracted a disease and spread it to a large number of people. Please be safe and get yourself (and your friend) tested for future health reasons. This if your life and health we're talking about.
If you have any more questions relating to this (or need some more information) please feel free to ask me :)
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ok i've asked a question before... it's about a married friend of mine who's husband is cheating on her...
any way i kind of fixed the situation, built her confidence, and instructed her what to do... and things are kind of better.
the thing is i am well off than her and i offered to help her out (because he family won't pay for her) she needed a make over since she planned to confront both her husband and the home-wrecker... in any case i helped out and offered to buy her an outfit and makeup (since she doesn't use any) and i brought another friend of mine to show her how to apply it... when we were at the mall i felt that shewas using me... i mean we agreed to buy her one outfit... so we put one on hold and went around to see more stuff and we found something nicer and i bought it (i spent about 400 dollars!!!!!!! i'm not complaining but look what happens) she kept hinting about the firt out fit and how its nice and she wanted it (i am not stupid she wanted me to buy it, but i acted stupid and said the one she has looks better) any way she kept hinting and hinting and she wanted more stuff (like she got greedy all of a sudden) and then not only that i bought her lunch (fine it was her day to get pampered....) but then we went home where we were supposed to meet the friend who knows how to put the make up ... after that was done that friend had already set plans with me to go to the movies and she doesn't know this friend to well she just put the makeup as a favor for me... the other one wouldn't leave so i had to invite her to the movies... when we got there she wouldn't pay!!!... i mean seriously... what if she starts expecting me to help her all the time?!?!?! a friend in need you know? not a friend to abuse and take advantage of!!! what should i do? i mean i don't regret helping her out but seriously what the heck!! and she didn't even offer or say she would pay back (not that i would take it anyway because thats the way i am brought up) but a little respect won't kill her.... (link)
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I understand this may have come as a huge shock to you, but I believe I can understand why your friend is acting this way.
It sounds as if her husband has treated her very poorly (from your previous question). She isn't use to getting new, expensive clothing or being made-up. She isn't use to anyone helping to enhance her beauty or spending time, money, and attention on her. She isn't use to getting attention and being cared for.
She, most likely, didn't mean to go overboard. It was a new experience to her and she was excited that someone actually showed care for her. Like I said, she isn't use to being pampered so she wasn't sure HOW to be pampered.
Please don't let this discourage you from helping others. Your friend didn't mean any harm. I really think next time you should do this:
Tell the person EXACTLY what is happening. In this scenario you should have said:
"I'm going to take you out and we're going to have a nice lunch on me. Then, I'm going to take you to *STORE(s)* and pick you one really nice outfit. My friend *NAME* has agreed to help you with some new make-up techniques. By the end of it, you'll look like a brand-new person! It'll be a pretty full day so around *TIME* we'll have to finish up because I have plans with *NAME* tonight."
Just be open with your friend about the plans and stick to them. If she keeps suggesting you purchase more items for her then say:
"I really had only planned to buy you one outfit and I think we found something really good, don't you? My budget really doesn't allow for much more than that and I figured we might go out another time. So, like I said, I really can't buy more than one good outfit right now so we're just going to have to choose which one you like best. Maybe you can save up some money and come get the other things you like another time."
To me, there was no problem with the movies and her not paying. I'm sure she didn't just tag along without someone suggesting that she did--either you, her, or your friend had to of said something. If she wouldn't leave at the end of the make-over what you should have said was:
"Alright *NAME*, you look great, but I really need to get ready for some plans I had made for tonight. I hope things go well at your home and if you need me please give me a call."
That makes it clear that it's her time to leave, that you have made separate plans, and that you aren't just dumping her off as a friend after helping her out--as in, she wasn't your charity case for the day. From there, if she won't leave, you just be blunt about things, saying something like:
"I have plans with *so-and-so* to see a movie and relax. You have a lot of thinking to do and stuff you need to get ready at your place so I really think it's best you go on and get all of that sorted out this evening. Please give me a call tomorrow or if something happens."
Be clear. That is the key in this entire thing.
The woman has never been pampered. She doesn't get the affection and attention of her spouse so she will cling on to every ounce you give her. She is a normal human female--she needs someone, somewhere to care about her. She is finding that care in you and, as a result, is pushing it a little.
Like I said, the movies doesn't sound like a big deal to me about her paying because YOU invited her, even if you were hesitant. Inviting someone usually means that you are inviting to pay, believe it or not. Some people don't realize that and get upset when a friend assumes they will be paid for. If you invite, then you pay--just keep that in mind. It's simply mannerly and the proper thing to do.
If you want to invite someone out and you do not want to pay for them then you need to either reevaluate going out with them that evening or tell them something like:
"I am kind of low on cash right now. Would it be alright if you paid your way into the movies?"
Of course, some situations vary. You wouldn't invite a friend out to go shopping and expect to pay for her clothes. You wouldn't offer to take a friend to a car dealership to find them a car and expect to pay for it. There are, of course, limits and boundaries but the theatre and lunch are no exceptions.
I want to note that when you invited to take her shopping you told her you would pay for her a new outfit. You do this because when invited out to go shopping the other person assumes they need money. The opposite applies to movies and lunch--you invite a person out, you are expected to pay.
So, next time:
Be blunt and honest.
Know when you are expected to pay and when you're not--make it clear if you cannot pay.
Relax. Your friend has been treated poorly and simply does not know how to act when treated properly.
I'm sure your friend really appreciates what you are doing for her. Just calm down about the situation and be more clear next time. She really doesn't mean any harm. Like I keep saying, she is not use to being treated nicely so it's sort-of a shock that someone is showing care for her. Sometimes when we get really excited we end up pushing out limits or going overboard from the new experience/feeling.
I hope things turn out well for your friend and yourself. If you have any more questions like this please feel free to ask me :)
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my friends started talking about it and since im a guy and the friends that were talking about it are girls but i know it comes out of a girls vagina lol but thats about all can anyone tell me what it is and im 18 btw (link)
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Simply put, female discharge is the vagina naturally cleansing itself of dead cells, bacteria, and dirt that may have slid up there during the day. The vagina stays moist to keep things "flowing" lightly so sometimes women find a little bit of wetness in their panties from the natural cleansing process.
Here is a link to a question I asked another advicenator about what female discharge is exactly:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=546975
Check that out (read my entire question) and you should get the idea of what EXACTLY it is--including descriptive appearances.
I hope that answers your question sufficiently, but, if not, please feel free to ask me any more questions :)
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I know this sound a little weird, because, like, 90% of the U.S. wears jeans, but I hate jeans. There is nothing that will get me into jeans. So what I want to know, is what to wear as an alternative to jeans. I wear sweat-pants everywhere. I need know this because I'm going to a new school in a week, and I am afraid that I'm going to get teased.
So if you have an alternate for jeans, and sweats, It would be must appreciated.
Thanks, please help. :) (link)
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I highly suggest skirts and dresses if you are female.
They can come in various styles and patterns so some are very nice looking! They can add a lot of spice to a dull wardrobe too since bright colors are more acceptable on skirts.
There are long, knee-length, and short skirts and dresses. You can get thin or heavy material. You can have solids or patterns. There are many different styles of skirt/dress too--like straight, a-lines, pencil skirt, layered, pleated, etc:
http://www.beautyden.com/skirts.shtml
Skirts and dresses also add to your appearance, making you look more put together and mature. In my experience, you seem to be treated more lady-like than when wearing jeans. I seem to get more respect and be taken more seriously when I wear a classy-type skirt. You can also have some frilly-cutsey looking things that make you look more playful and fun or ones that make you appear classy. This means you can dress a skirt up or down :)
I really like skirts/dresses because they don't cling to the thighs and legs like jeans do. They can hide wide hips or create a more hourglass shape if you're lacking. They're especially good to wear if you sweat a lot since they let your legs get more airflow than with pants.
Here is a few cute skirts I found online for suggestions:
http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/rachel-bilson-skirt-hike.jpg
http://img.alibaba.com/photo/11648953/Silk_Top_And_Layered_Skirt.jpg
http://www.antsale.com/syssite/home/shop/1/pictures/productsimg/small/1193.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3096/2569685516_6b5c29ed24.jpg?v=1213156011
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/219/445705310_5c4d499700.jpg?v=0
http://www.curvesforum.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=845&d=1218392806
http://z.about.com/d/shoes/1/0/M/f/thongs_long_skirts.jpg
http://www.indahfashions.com/images/yellow_long_skirt.jpg
For some cute dresses:
http://z.about.com/d/teenfashion/1/7/P/4/-/-/jc_scoopneck.jpg
http://shop.guess.com/StyleImages/Y73R1754-CBML-RF.jpg
http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z35/fashionunder100/dress-2.jpg
http://bp3.blogger.com/_eIDJ9EtfE_U/R-QRiLtBnoI/AAAAAAAAAE8/cXKecJe0NNQ/s1600-h/Lacoste.jpg
http://www.reet-petite.co.uk/photos/e0jgwh8pht6k4fe.jpg
http://15dollarstore.com/img/3983_1_311_p.jpg
Skirts and dresses are always in because they come in SO many different styles. There is such a wide selection that it's pretty impossible to find something that isn't in style--you wouldn't believe how much vintage dresses go for nowadays!
There is also the choice of dress pants, that can make you look super classy if you dress appropriately:
http://www.catwalkqueen.tv/nojeans1.jpg
http://grooven.net/modules/osC/images/women_hemp_loose_fit_pant_plum.JPG
If you are male then the only things I can really suggest is khakis and dress pants. Remember that you can get material in pants or shorts too so that may help with variety issues. Guys don't have as much variation as women do since we can always turn to a whole new selection of skirts and dresses that men aren't able to wear.
I hope you figure out some good alternatives to jeans so you are more comfortable in your new school! :)
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Theres a girl i wanted to make out with and play with tomorrow. I had sex a few weeks ago, and about a few days ago i developed some pimples/zits above my penis. I got an hiv test, and i haven't been contacted with the results.
I had a zit a half an inch above my lip
will it be okay to make out with her, and would it be okay if she gave me a handjob? would she catch anything? (link)
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You shouldn't be making out or having any sexual contact with anyone if you feel you may have an STD or STI.
I also want to note that what you're describing is, most likely, not HIV/AIDs but herpes or HPV. Bumps on or around the genital area is the main sign of both of these. Bumps around the mouth/lips is a sign of herpes (either strain HSV-1 or HSV-2).
Guys get HPV too and can spread it to females. Guys typically do not show signs of having HPV, only the strain that causes warts MIGHT cause them to have warts on their penis; however, many men with HPV have no idea they have it and there is yet to be a test to see if a guy has contracted it so there is no way to tell.
I know HPV can live under the fingernails and herpes is so easily spread that many people with coldsores even end up having sores on their fingertips at some point. You touch so many things during the day you have no idea what's on your hands or deep in your nails that you cannot reach to wash away. You, most certainly, can contract herpes on any area of your body.
You need to make a doctor's appointment for an entire STD screening, not just for HIV/AIDS. You are at risk for many things and are showing symptoms of life-long illnesses.
Your doctor may scrape the bump near your penis to test it for HSV (herpes) strains, as he should have done previously when seeing it. Call your doctor NOW and ask to make an appointment for a full STD screening! This is important.
Do not engage in sexual activity until you find out the results of your test. You can be sued if you knowingly pass on a STD to a sexual partner.
I hope you do as directed and scratch sexual encounter plans with your friend. If you have any more questions regarding this issue please feel free to ask me :)
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I'm a 17 y/o guy, and have really bad hormones. I'm always horny and never seem to find a way to stop being horny. I masturbate a lot...daily in fact. Watch porn daily as well. I have a hard time with girls because of it. I feel its because i want the feeling of being loved... I'm not close to any girls, so being friends with benefits is not really possible. what should i do? and how should i go about venting? how could i get a friend with benefits? (link)
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You have something so terribly twisted up.
Sex is not showing love. Love does not mean having sex.
Prostitutes have sex with dozens of people each single day and they have no positive feelings toward their clients. Prostitutes are not the only ones who do this.
Friend with benefits is pretty degrading of yourself and another person. How low is it to come to someone and say, "Get me off!" and then leave? Pretty darn low if you ask me. That's what friends with benefits means--and girls usually don't feel that way at all toward their male partner. They feel like their male partner cares about them while the male partner only cares about getting off from having sexual relations. It's how things work, seriously.
Engaging in sexual activity with someone right now is probably only going to make your problems worse. You can become even more obsessed with it. It can leave you with unexpected children or an illness for the rest of your life.
In addition, having sex with a girl isn't going to do anything with you learning how to interact with them properly. Girls are not sex objects--they are human just like you and have emotions. You seriously don't believe that having sex with someone will solve your communication problems, do you?
I'm not kidding, you shouldn't be looking for sex at all right now. You need to focus on having healthy relationships with girls, instead of unhealthy ones. Friends with benefits is an unhealthy relationship and you don't learn anything from it other than how to use someone for your own gain.
Engaging in this sort of sexual relationship will only hinder your ability to communicate properly with others. You will be more concerned over yourself than others and you will come off as selfish and arrogant. You're putting yourself in a situation that will alter the way you will interact with the opposite gender--I'm sure you don't seriously want to be the jerk that uses girls left and right.
By putting yourself in a situation where a girl is only sex to you, you will began treating other girls as only sex objects. Many men begin lying to women to get sexual gratification. They begin degrading women left and right and using them, only to leave them with emotional scars the rest of their lives. Some men end up with emotional scars themselves.
To help you out some, here are a few links you should definately check out while giving this thought:
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
You're young and hormones are going to make your horny but it doesn't mean you have to be silly and give into them. You sound like you're sexually "venting" in the healthiest way possible--masturbation.
Try to occupy your time and your brain with alternative plans. Join sports teams for one. It's healthy to burn off that sort of energy, which is built up inside of you and masturbation or sex isn't going to magically get rid of that.
The media keeps telling us to only worry about ourselves. Sure, it's fine to tend to your own needs--but what happens when everyone is too busy with themselves? What happens when everyone stops worrying about caring for others? They become depressed, wondering why they don't belong somewhere and why they feel lost in society. That is what is happening to you, most likely, whether you realize it now or not.
What's strange is the more we focus on ourselves and stop helping others, the less we feel good about ourselves. As humans, we NEED interaction. We NEED acceptance. We NEED to know we are important in life. Most of all though, we desperately NEED to help others to gain all of that plus more.
I highly suggest that you stop focusing on yourself. Yes, still continue to get help but try to put your excess time/energy/efforts into others. Find places to volunteer regularly at.
Focus on better activities for the people around you. If you feel you have a sexual addiction that you need to break, then this question from another user may prove to be extremely beneficial (check out my answer):
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543312
Spend time at soup kitchens helping the hungry, volunteer at shelters, visit the elderly in homes so they're not as lonely (not everyone has visitors and just about everyone has neat stories to tell), read Bible passages to younger children, volunteer at local animal shelters, donate your time to what needs you, and do whatever you can with that time.
If you feel like you don't have time now--make time. Alter your daily schedules to fit a few hours in for volunteering. Instead of being on the computer for an hour, log in only for 15 minutes and do what you NEED to do. Instead of sitting at home for dinner every day, take one day a week to eat at the soup kitchen after volunteering there.
Focus on who needs you. In essence, this is all for YOU so this is important. Helping others will help you.
Having sex isn't going to make you feel loved. You will be using sexual relations for the wrong purpose, causing bad emotions to develop. You'll leave the situation just as cold and lonely as you are already. You are likely to develop feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, and low self esteem.
Please reconsider this decision. Sex is not your answer at all. I hope your eyes open up to your surroundings and you find what I've said to be nothing but honesty. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me :)
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