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should i stay or should i go?? :(
Ok, so here's the deal...im a 21 year old female and i live in Winnipeg,mb. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 6 years and we have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old babygirl. in the beginning it was great we went out and did stuff(movies,dinner ect...) now we stay at home and do nothing, like im totally fine with staying at home and watching movies and playing video games. heres the problem i think he may be losing interest in me, he doesnt show no affection towards me(hugs, kisses, cuddeling)....sometimes i think about breakin it off but i dont want him to hate me, i would stil love to be friends with him ad hang out and stuff..i dont know what to do im sooo confused!! somebody plz help me!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You definately do not need to end the relationship over this, but you do need to start talking openly with your partner. Communication is ALWAYS key in all relationships. This means, you need to really make time for a good sit-down discussion with your partner about what you've been thinking and feeling.
Since you haven't expressed your concerns to your partner, you really have no clue as to what is going on with his side. If you're feeling bored, chances are he is too. Your relationship is a two-sided deal and you need to pull you weight as much as he needs to pull his.
Ask him what you can do to make him more active in your relationship, especially if he has expressed the disinterest in taking you out. Maybe he wishes you'd dress up more or would be more willing to do things he enjoys doing (or see movies he enjoys seeing or...well, you get the point). For all you know, he's been waiting on you to press him to go out together and has thought you've became uninterested in him. Whatever it is, ask him what you can do differently to liven things up!
You have to let him know what you feel is missing and what you wish would be happening. He has to know what he needs to "fix" to be able to change it and meet your needs. If you don't tell him that you feel like he's completely lost interest then he cannot tell you if he has or hasn't and has no idea that he needs to alter his current behavior.
Really express exactly what you've been feeling about the situation though. Let him know if you feel he's uninterested in you. You have to communicate with him for anything to go smoothly--he isn't a mind reader. Spill your guts to the man.
After discussing with him about what is going on between you two, make plans to go out one evening. If, for some reason, he puts it off then you need to let him know what it makes you think. For the "date" think of a couple of nice things you two can do together that you haven't done in awhile. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy--just time out together.
You may also want to suggest to your partner about making a date-night once a week or month--or whenever you can fit that in. Again, it doesn't have to be costly and you could possibly even do this at home with some home-made popcorn, snuggling on the couch, and a rental movie.
You may be able to find a decent neighborhood babysitter for low cost if you only spend a couple of hours out each date night. Remember to screen the babysitter so you are not leaving your child with a person irresponsible.
Remember the things you use to do that he really loved. As time goes on, couples tend to forget about complimenting each other and things become so routine they don't think about it any longer. It's always the little things that really matter. Show him you're still interested in those small ways.
In the future, remember to go to your partner first about problems. He knows your relationship and he is aware of what exactly is going on with him. He may be just as lost and confused as you are if he's feeling what you're feeling and hasn't opened up to you.
I hope things work out well between you and your partner. If you have any more questions then please feel free to ask me :)
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You're in a rut.
Perfectly normal for a relationship thats been around that long, especially one with a baby.
Steps to correct.
1) Hire a babysitter or drop the kid off with family at least one night every other week. You need a change in routine, and a babysitter gives you plenty of time to go out and get dolled up, have fun. Or to do something together. Or to stay home and defile every room in the house.
2) Spice up the sex. Buy something sexy, or just try something different. A woman I knew in her 30s was 10 years into a marriage and it was getting into the kind of rut you are in. One night after the kid was asleep she artfully covered herself in hershey's syrup and called her husband into the room with "honey can you help me out" and "I made a mess I need to clean up" once he was standing in the doorway.
3) Ask for things. Communicate. If you aren't getting what you want or need then tell him. Be more affectionate and more passionate with him and let him know you want to respond in kind.
A great way to start it off is massage exchange. Nothing sexy, just a nice back and shoulder rub, or scalp massage (secret weapon, guys generally love having their heads rubbed, it makes us purr)
Tell him you need a massage and want to trade. Get him used to touching you.
4) Other options just include changing the way you act around him. Wear more revealing clothing at home when you can, show him that you havent lost interest, and there are good reasons he shouldn't either. Vary the routine. The biggest problem is that every day is probably pretty much the same as the one before it. Give him (and yourself) some changes to routine to break the monotony.
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i definitley think you should kindly confront him about it. if he is still true to you and the relationship he will turn it around in an instant and apologize for it if not then mention it again and do what you need to do for you to be happy.
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Well, the truth is that once you have a baby this is what usually happens to relationships. I don't think you should break things off, especially because you had a baby together. I think you just have to talk to him about how you would love to go out more. Find a babysitter, and make plans. I'm sure all the feelings he has for you will come back, you just need to spend some time together. (:
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