I'm Em.
I'm a 20 year old English/History student living in Sydney.
I dig art, music and books.
I'll take questions on relationships, friendships, high school, uni, or whatever else.
I try to give the best advice I can, usually drawing on my own personal experience. But I'm not perfect, and sometimes when I look back on some of my advice it's far from it (especially when I was 15 and writing LiKe THiS). It's just advice, though. It's not an answer or a solution, it's simply a potentially helpful perspective. And that's all I can offer you.
Photo:
Yayoi Kusama
"Infinity Mirror Room"
Performance art.
Mirrors, soft sculptures.
Castellane Gallery, New York.
1965.
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Member Since: January 11, 2007
Answers: 391
Last Update: May 22, 2014
Visitors: 31793
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Everytime I get drunk I do outargeously stupid sexual thongs with people I know and each time I regret and am ashemed but then I still do It the next time and bi never learn but I always regreat!!
What is wrong with me? Why do I always have to do sexual things with guys evthat I know! Even tho I always regreat and feel ashemd the next day
Why don't I learn?
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Every time you get drunk it's like an excuse. When you drink, you know that you can do outrageous things and you can blame it on the booze. It's like a way to say you couldn't control yourself, even though in reality you can to an extent.
For one, stop drinking so much. If it only happens when you're drunk, then you shouldn't be drinking.
And two, have some will power. There are a lot of times I could have done silly or stupid things when I was drunk, but even in my drunken state I thought about the consequences and realized it wasn't worth it.
When you get drunk, your brain works slower. It takes longer to process things. If you're getting so unbelievably drunk that you can't even consider saying no, then I don't think you should be drinking at all.
The reason why I think you don't learn is because you do want to do outrageous things with guys and act like it's none of your fault because you were drinking. If guys you know are letting you do this too then you might want to reconsider your friendships with them. What kind of guy friend takes advantage of their drunk female friend?
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Since i calmed down , mary and i are going to sleep but everytime were in bed but we start making out and then we started having sex but she wants me to go a little slower whats wrong (I dont know if this helps but i used a condom) (link)
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The wording of your question is a bit all over the place so I'm going to try and answer it as best I can.
I think you're asking why she wants you to go slower?
Not every girl necessarily wants to have hard, rough sex. Some girls prefer gentle, slow sex. If it's her first time or you two have only just started having sex, she might be in a little pain or nervous about everything and wants you to slow down to make it more comfortable and pleasurable for the both of you.
There's nothing wrong about her wanting you to go slower, she's just telling you how to move to make her feel good.
If this isn't what you're asking, please rephrase the question in the "add additional info" part or inbox me.
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i love my boyfriend, hes my life and heart,
problem is, he lives miles away at the moment. hes everything i wanted and he matters so much to me.
I met this guy, he lives close but not that close, he is funny, actually hysterical, makes me smile hes cute and just have that crushon him.
me and my bf cant talk much, but when i talk to him i forget about this other guy, and since we cant talk i feel like im going to this other boy.
I dont know if he feels the same way though about me(the other guy), were at an awkward stage.
i wouldnt cheat on my bf. but i feel i need to get over this crush. no matter how much i dont wanna. he makes me happy.
What do i do? (link)
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You love your boyfriend, and if you want to stay with him then you have to let go of this new guy. And I mean physically let go. You have to really stop communicating or minimize it and not hang out together that much.
But it depends on other things. How far away is your boyfriend? How long is he going to be this far away? Can you cope with this amount of time?
If you don't think you can be with someone that lives this far away for this long, then maybe you should consider the relationship with your boyfriend. If you don't think it will last, I wouldn't suggest jumping into a relationship with this new guy either. He'll become a bit of a rebound boyfriend and even though you like him you'd need a lot of time to get over your boyfriend before moving on.
The way it goes, if you cheated on your boyfriend, you'll hate yourself. If you realize you can't have a boyfriend that lives so far away and you two break up, you can't date this other guy straight away because you'll still be hurting and it won't turn out well. If you decide to stay with your boyfriend, then you have to let go of this new guy while still coping with having your boyfriend so far away. Or, you could always choose neither.
These aren't all the possibilities of what could happen and they're just negative aspects of each situation, but all of these things you need to take into account with what you need to do.
Really think about what you want and what's worth it. In the end, pick whatever will make you the happiest in the long run.
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Heyy,
Im in senior year now , so obviously had to change schools. It's alot different and a drastic change,i still hang out/talk to my friends from my old school because they go there too, but they've all seemed to make new friends too. I try but i feel like i dont "fit" in with different groups. Feeling kinda left out. Maybe its because im insecure..but i still try and make conversation with people but its just like awkward..how do i make new friends that will like me and want to talk to me, because all my other friends have friends and im still holding on to the ones i already know, but i know we're alll gonna drift away eventually. Thanks in advance! (link)
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I don't think you should force it when it comes to friendships.
In march last year I started university for the first time and I didn't know anyone in my course. It was really daunting and I didn't really have friends in the first few weeks. Now and then I would say hi and talk to people that sat next to me but it was always awkward and nothing ever came of it. Eventually, I just spoke to someone that I clicked with. Over the next few months I clicked with more and more people and now I have a few friends from different classes and some that are really good friends. Some of these people also introduced me to their friends and my network of friends grew.
You will make friends in time, as long as you say hello to people and are nice people will have no problem wanting to get to know you better. It's hard when you're somewhere new and when you feel like your friends are drifting away, but you will definitely meet new, amazing people.
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how do i become even more appealing to my bf. personality and looks. also what can i do to add a spark to the relationship. were not very lovey dovey thx (link)
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The way you are is why he loves you. He started dating you because he loved the way you looked and your personality. I know you probably already know this, I'm just saying that to make yourself more appealing to him you just need to be more open about the person you are.
In other words, let down your guard a little. Don't think about the way you look and what he thinks about it, KNOW that he thinks you're gorgeous and flaunt it! Let down little vulnerabilities and be a little more comfortable with really expressing your personality completely to him.
Not every couple is lovey dovey, but if you want to me more like that then I would suggest being more open again. Like, not being afraid to cuddle up and kiss him when you feel affectionate.
I guess the 'spark' is different to everyone, but I think a lot of it is just being what I've been saying you should be: a little more open. Being a little immature sometimes, a bit careless, not worrying about things, being impulsive.
I think something great would be alone time, as in a holiday or a weekend away somewhere. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you and your boyfriend are old enough to go away somewhere even if its a few hours away from home then do it. If you're not old enough to go away anywhere, then do something maybe a little out of the ordinary. Try something new that you two haven't done before (paintball? rock climbing?) or even just do something that both of you love to do and haven't done in a while. Weekly dates to a restaurant or cinema are nice and romantic too.
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I am 17/M. I was at a spa/salon, and while checking my secret cash hiding place in my wallet to make sure I had enough cash for my stylist's tip, I accidentally dropped a pic out of my wallet & into the toilet that was irreplaceable, one of a friend who passed in a car wreck. (it was a wallet size studio portrait of her so it couldn't be copied plus her folks always hated me b/c I am gay.) I didn't have rubber gloves on me naturally and my stylist was in a big hurry, so I left it for the time being thinking I could go back after my haircut and retrieve the picture. So imagine my panic when I see a stylist and a woman getting a full makeover heading into the bathroom. I told my stylist and we hurried walked over and knocked on the door, and they opened the door because the woman was still decent, and my stylist explained the situation to the other stylist and the woman. The other stylist said to my stylist "It's up to her", then looked at the woman and said "Well, it's up to you. Let them get it out, or not?" The woman without ever looking up at me or my stylist simply said "Put the toilet seat down and close the door, please." My jaw hit the floor and I started crying but there was nothing that my stylist or I could do.
So my question to you is...what on earth was this woman thinking that allowed her to live with herself behaving in such a fashion? How could she not see that she was behaving in a repugnant & wrong fashion? Is there some feminine thinking I am not seeing here, given that I was the only guy in the exchange and the other 3 involved seemed to think that letting the woman choose whether or not to let me get my picture out was the right, normal thing to do? (link)
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It's not any kind of feminine thinking, I think she either didn't understand properly or was somehow offended (for who knows what reason). Maybe she had used the toilet and felt embarrassed by everything? I'm not sure.
Sometimes people are just selfish. Maybe she did feel a bit uneasy about standing in a toilet cubical, somewhere very private to a person, with a man standing there. But, sometimes people just act in ways we would never think of acting and that really we couldn't imagine.
I'm so sorry about your photo, I really hope you find something just as precious to replace it since things like that are so special.
If it was me in the situation as the woman, even though it was a strange request, I would have gladly let you get it back. I know a lot of girls that would have been kind and stepped away, so don't think it's anything against you as a male.
I think it's silly to that they relied completely on her decision, but they have to keep all of their clients happy in this kind of circumstance. If it had been something like a public toilet, then no problem, but it was the spa/salon's bathroom so they have to be super-courteous to all their patrons.
Once again, I am so so sorry that you've lost something so meaningful to you. Forget selfish people like that too, they're not worth your stress and frustration.
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Hey there. I'm fifteen/f and my boyfriend is 16. Our two month anniversary was something like 2 days ago, he's awesome, cute, etc. but he's my first boyfriend and I have no idea how to approach the topic with my parents. I'm pretty sure that I'm allowed to date, even though we don't have any concrete "rules", but I'm just petrified to broach the subject with my parents. I'm really close with my parents, we talk about common interests and stuff, but not really about personal stuff and I'm sure telling them would be really awkward. I'm just afraid they'll tease me (they will) and that they'll want to meet him and embarrass me and such and such. I'm just worried that when I tell them they'll (especially my mom) be really hurt that I didn't tell her as soon as it happened. Can anyone help? This is really, really stressing me out... (link)
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Don't worry about it, I was petrified telling my parents about my first boyfriend.
You're mum will understand that you were nervous, and if she does get a bit uspet (which she won't) then just explain it to her.
This is how I tell my parents about boyfriends. "Mum, dad, I have a boyfriend."
They'll find out eventually since you'll be going on dates and what not, plus they aren't completely oblivious.
The teasing thing is what every family does, it sort of breaks the tension for them.
Once it's done, it's easy. The hardest part is just buildingthe courage so don't fret girl.
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Okay so I live in Kelowna and I just took a trip to Vancouver. Its around a 4-5 hour drive and we go like through the mountains and my ears popped a whole bunh. I just got home today and its only been like 2-3 hours and my ear started to feel like i had a whole ton of pressure. And when I move my head sometimes or bend down and come back up then it kinda sounds like I have water in there but I havent been in any since its winter. Adn when I bend down my ear hurts or if I put my head down and bring it back up it hurts. I tried cleaning my ear and it didnt work it keeps happening and the last time I put in a Q-tip a thing came out on it and it looked like kind of a.....a plastic tube but it was tiny and had ear wax onit but it was squishable. Im kinda scared does anyone know whats happening. Oh and I cant hear to to well in it and its my left ear if that helps :/ (link)
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It might have just been way too much pressure for your body to handle so it's taking a long time for your ears to pop.
For one, stop cleaning out your ears and putting anything else inside of your ear canal. When you clean your ears with a Q-tip, it usually pushes a bit of whatever is inside your ear deeper into the canal and it will only make things worse.
I'm not sure what this plastic tube business is. Maybe it was just something that got caught in your ear a little while ago and you never noticed it, or maybe it came off of the Q-tip? Either way, it's another reason for you to stop trying to put things inside your ear in case you damage your eardrum.
Keep trying to hold your nose and mouth closed while forcing pressure to your ears to try and pop them now and then.
I also googled your problem and someone said to boil water and to inhale the steam? I'm not sure if this helps but it sounded interesting.
If you're still worried, then tell someone or send yourself to the doctor/ER/whatever is open. I'm not a doctor and I don't know how many people on here are, so we can't tell you exactly what's happening and it's better to be 100% that you're okay.
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how to clean vegina hair with just a razor or by using some cream also plz explain me in detail.i am 23 years old and i am from india. (link)
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If you've never shaved before, you will want to trim the hair so it won't be as difficult to shave. Get some scissors and just trim it slowly as far down as you can really. Apply some sensitive skin shaving cream or soap and water to the area and make sure it's lathered up well.
With the razor, shave downwards instead of upwards. When you shave your legs, you shave upwards with the razor to cut it better. When shaving your genitals, you should always turn the razor the opposite way to shave as it reduces ingrown hairs. Make sure that the razor has been soaking in hot water for a few minutes too so that the metal is a bit smoother on your skin. Shave downward slowly over your area. You will probably have to rinse the razor a lot to get the hair off it before commencing shaving. The hair will take a few efforts to get it all off since you haven't done it before. Be very slow and gentle near the opening of your vagina so that you don't cut yourself.
If you do cut yourself, as long as it's not a big cut it's not a big deal. It's just like when you cut yourself shaving your legs, it'll be a little sore and bleed for a while but it will go away soon.
It might be a little uncomfortable and itchy too, so maybe try applying a sensitive skin cream that is specially designed to be used after shaving. You can get this from your local chemist or pharmacist. If that doesn't help, use some paw paw ointment or rash lotion.
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My boyfriend and i started having sex a couple of weeks ago and he doesnt last that long his penis goes soft after 3 or 4 minutes and i cant get him hard again sometimes he has trouble getting an erection hes a bit embarrassed about it what can we do to get him to last longer? (link)
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Is it his first time having sex? A lot of guys have a lot of trouble trying to keep it up for a long time when they've just started having sex. Give him a little while longer to get used to the feelings and sensations.
I'm not sure how much foreplay is going on but maybe you're getting him too excited. Maybe try cutting out the foreplay part or only doing it for a few minutes before sex.
He could also try to visualize non-sexual things and see if that helps.
That's everything I can think of. Try googling for some more ideas and if the problem continues without getting any better for a few months he may want to see a doctor to see what he can do about it.
Early ejaculation is normal with a lot of guys and sometimes they're just a bit nervous and need a little while to perform properly.
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Well, I've had sex with two guys, and I had sex with another guy recently, who is my boyfriend.
When we was doing it, it didn't hurt at first, but after the firt couple of hours, it began to kill me. The feeling is hard to explain, but it was like on the left side of my stomach, and when he would push it in me, it would hurt, but every position he did, the pain would either be less or more. Im not too sure why it hurt; I figured I needed to stick it out, and it would go away because I've never had a guy pop my cherry, but it didn't, it just got worse. I don't know if its normal, or what? (link)
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Do you think he could be hitting your cervix? It causes a lot of pain in your abdomen area when the penis hits the cervix, so it might just be something as simple as that. You might just need to move around a bit to find a position that doesn't involve him going in so deep.
It could possibly be your hymen tissue still intact, but it's impossible for me to know since i'm not a gyneacologist.
If it keeps happening or you're worried, then go to the doctor and ask. There's nothing wrong with making sure your body is okay.
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I'm a freshmen and I lost my virginity in the spring of 2010 to my boyfriend. Things got rough when he broke up with me and I found out he had been cheating. I went to this summer high school party and things got a little crazy even though I wasn't drinking. I ended up having sex with a bunch of the guys there. It was really, really bad. I got pregnant, panicked and told like all of my friends, and then ended up having a miscarriage (not abortion like some rumors going around say). So like everybody knew what went on since a lot of people were at the party and then I opened my big mouth about me getting pregnant.
This year everybody calls me a slut, but I swear I'm not really. I was just hurt, I guess. It hurts because right before winter vacation a senior asked me to prom and I accepted and was happy at first but then he was all saying how he doesn't want to knock me up and I figured out that's the whole reason (sex) why he wanted to go with me so I had to tell him no to going.
I confronted one girl who was ALWAYS picking on me and calling me slut and whore. We had this fight but I feel terrible because at one point she asked me how many guys I've had sex with and my number is kinda big for my age and I didn't know more than half the guys that did it with me. It only makes things worse for me because I keep thinking of what I did and how it was pretty bad.
I don't want to be slutty. I haven't had sex with ANYBODY since summer. How do I get people to forget about the summer thing and just move on with things? I don't want to be THE slut of the school because of 1 thing I did. (link)
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'Slut' is just a word. It doesn't determine the kind of person you are. As much as it hurts, if someone calls you it just ignore it. You're not a slut and you don't deserve to be bullied like this.
In high school things are always hard, and when you have sex it's a big deal because not everyone is doing it. Stick it out, things get so much better after school.
You can't make them forget what happened, but in time they will. Keep being the lovely person you are and ignore the rumours, the words and the bullies. Your sex life is none of their business and hopefully in some time they'll mature a little bit. Stay close to your friends and appreciate the people that don't call you names and make you feel horrible.
If things are really awful and unbearable, talk to someone. Talk to a teacher, or if you don't want to then go straight to your school councellor. It's nice to have someone just to talk to in person to let your feelings out to, and they would be able to help you a lot more.
I'm not sure how old you are but i'm guessing quite young. I can't tell you what to do, but please be careful. There are a lot of laws about how old you can be to have consensual sex, and if you're under that age limit and the person you're having sex with is older than it, it's considered statutory rape. The reason why they have these kinds of laws is because phsyically you shouldn't be having sex until a certain age as your body has not completely developed yet and it can cause a lot of problems, both physical and psychological.
What's happened has happened, you can't change that. You need to take a deep breath move on. Who cares what they call you, you're not what they think you are or what they say you are.
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I am naturally a submissive person. I take up for myself but right now i'm in a relationship where everything is backwards.
He tells me i should take care of myself and look good
so i go to the gym and do my hair and make up
whenever i get back from the gym he gets mad that i took too long (2 hours) and then he always complains how long it takes me to do my make up and hair (45 minutes).
I heard that men love it when the woman is submissive so i always tell him he's a big strong man and let him know it in bed all the time. Everything changes in the bedroom. he gets so sweet but right afterwards, it's all back to the same.
we both work, but i mow the lawn and take the garbage out and do everything except electrical work and plumbing, we call someone for that.
we have our times when everything is perfect, but this bad stuff right now is daily.
I ask him to mow the lawn, I ask him three times a week and he says i nag, so i mow the lawn and he says its okay because it's considered house work.
then he says he doesnt feel like a man because i don't let him do those manly things.
he's being so confusing.
there just came a point in the relationship to where i feel no matter what i do or say, i can never fully please him. what do i do?! (link)
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"He tells me I should take care of myself and look good" - How rude! I have no doubt that you are a gorgeous woman, how can he say that you don't already look good? And for that matter, it is absolutely none of his business to tell you to 'take care of yourself'. I've been in relationships with guys that frankly could have looked a little better if they went to the gym or did their hair a little but 1. I loved them for more than their looks (and they were gorgeous to me regardless) and 2. It's not my place to tell them to take care of themselves a bit better.
When you're in a relationship, you should be going to the gym or doing your hair and make up because you want to by choice. Any guy that tells you you should is unworthy of you.
House work is not a woman's job. We don't live in the 1950s. Men and women share this job equally. He does his part and you do your part. He's just being lazy and taking advantage of you.
In a relationship, you should be making each other happy. You should both be making an effort to please each other. He should be making you feel as wonderful as you try to make him feel.
You need to put your foot down and tell him how you feel. Don't be submissive, don't let him try to turn it onto you, be strong and let him know how you're feeling and that things are going to change for it to work out. And if nothing changes, you need to find yourself someone that will treat you properly. You deserve so much more than this.
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DOes it hurt to have sex for the first time?
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Yes and no. Everybody has a different first time experience. Some people have a good, pain-free first time and some people don't.
It's not as painful as you might think, though. If you feel like you're ready, then it'll be okay. It'll be uncomfortable, awkward and yes a little bit painful, but as long as you're ready then you won't regret it. And after a few times, there'll be no pain at all!
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ok so me and my best friend are really close. were so close that people actually call us lesbians. we talk on the phone everyday for 2 hours. we see each other a lot and hang out. but lately ever since she got the job she is now working with me. we like to get the same shifts so we can work together. but we keep fighting now. and for some reason im just getting so mad at her for being so stupid at times for other reasons not at work. i dont know why im acting like this towards her. but i guess it's because im sick of her. I dont know. but we havent been talking a lot lately and we keep talking rudely to each other. i just want to fix it. and tomorrow we have different shifts and she wants me to change mine so i can work her shift. im just so stressed out with her it's making me be mean to her. what should i do? is it because i need some space from her or what? (link)
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Space is definitely a must. I love my best friends, but I can't be with them every moment, I'd go crazy!
Everyone has different comfort zones and personal spaces. Work is one of them. Work is a place where you do a different routine, behave differently, and have different kinds of friends. When your best friend is there, she's invading that space that was once yours and the lines between what is your personal space is blurred. Since you can't really avoid this, just don't fuss about shifts. If you get one with her, then great, but if you don't then don't worry about it. You should be acting in a professional manner anyway at work and not focusing so much on talking to your friend.
As for the rest of your time, don't go out of your way to avoid her, but just relax a little and enjoy quiet alone time. Try to explain to her if you can that you two being around each other so much is causing a lot of tension. Say in a nice way that you need a little bit of privacy and time to yourself. Not that this means never seeing her, maybe just not for a week. Then you two could plan to do something that you both enjoy the next week so that you can relax a little and have some fun. With my two best friends we try to see each other once a week to do something fun like have some drinks, go out to dinner, go shopping, watch dvds...etc. And this works out really well.
Best friends are like having boyfriends. Sometimes you get sick of them, sometimes you get angry for no reason and sometimes you just need to be away from them for a little bit. Even if she does get upset or angry at you saying you want some more time to yourself, she'll get over it and understand eventually.
Also with the New Years thing, don't worry about it. She cares about you a lot and wants to spend the best of times with you, and this tension thing is just fueling her to act out a little more aggressively than she normally would. Holding a grudge about it won't solve anything.
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19/m ok so i've been talking to this girl for about a month and half(we have known each other longer but are now just starting see each other) we hang together and i think she has feelings for me. but my question if how can i be sure and what is a good way to talk abut it with out making things weird with us? (link)
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What about asking her on a date? I'm not sure if that's what you meant by "seeing each other" or not. And you might want to throw the word "date" in when you ask her. I, like many women, are a little oblivious to guys. I make friends with guys, they ask me if I want to go to the movies or something like that and I think of it as two friends hanging out. So, asking "do you want to go out sometime?" and "do you want to go on a date sometime?" can be two very different things.
If she says yes then yeah she probably does have feelings for you. If she says no, it'll be a little bit awkward for a while but that'll go away.
You could always go for the nonchalant, abrupt approach and just ask her if she likes you in a playful-friendly way.
You never really 'know' these things, you just have to take a bit of a leap and hope it works.
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i have a crush on this guy but he has a girlfriend. im a cheerleader and he is a basketball player so i see his family a lot. his mom is always smiling at me. she offered to help me with my stuff once and she always makes sure she says hi to me when she sees me. once she even asked me what phone i was using and got the same one for her son. so anyway last night i had a dream about the guy and his girlfriend (we can call them ben and angel) anyway i dreamt that i saw bens facebook and peopole were posting on his wall things like "oh man it will be ok you'll get over it" and then i went to school the next day and angel was acting all buddy buddy to me like she was excited to see me. then she saw the book i was reading and then she was like "i was never really into sappy love stories" then all the other girls came over and were fascinated by her and she was talking to us all. i suggested we all add her on facebook. she told us her name and she was like "i know its a stupid name right?" so we all hugged her and the main part that really surprised me was that she looked at me as if i was competition to her. like she knew i liked her boyfriend or whatever. and i thought that was really weird. and the whole time this dream thing was happening i was wondering why ben was not butting in to talk with us since he was sitting right there.
what could this dream mean? any ideas? thanks (link)
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Not every dream has a hidden message, most are very literal. When you dream, it's little bits of your subconscious coming up into your conscious, and most of the time it doesn't really make sense. Your subconscious is this 'thing' that's like a big bubbling mass of confusion, but now and then little fragments make their way into our consciousness.
You know of the girl, maybe you have some sort of acquaintance like friendship or there's no negative relationship between the two of you. You like her boyfriend, and since you get along with his mother so well it seems more and more like you could be with this guy even though he does have a girlfriend. It does seem though that you're waiting for Ben to do something about it.
It sucks when you like a guy that has a girlfriend, and I think you're waiting for something to happen, like for him to dump his girlfriend and run after you. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't.
You're young and it's a crush so I don't see anything wrong with you wanting to be with him. Just as long as you try not to flirt around him too much and definitely don't try to break up their relationship, then it's cool.
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OK I find this odd..a few weeks ago I said to my before I wanted some time to myself to get situated on a new job. This wasn't meant to be a break up, just suggested time and that she stay at his familys house. I am a single mom of 2 and the breadwinner. He took care the kids, and just refused to work.
Anyways a week later he suggested time to himself...so I ignored him and a few days later he contacted me on a oddity...and chatted through text. He watched my daughter also so I could go to a meeting.
to sum it up...Ihad another event and and he was watching my daughter I was trying to see if there was hope to fix our relationship..he siad it was fixable but had no plans to move back..
basically there is no sort of future, so I decided to be strong and I left.
He texted me saying I left a jewelry of mine there..then texted if I got home. The way I see it not to be mean..if you don't want anything to do with me WHY bother. I know he was being considerate asking if I got home..
The following morning he texted me several times and had a sibling text me as well...
basically finding out where I am...
my friend told me he's been trying to play the "cool" card..saying he doesn't want a relationship..
Yet it bothers him if he didn't hear from me...whats the deal?
He basically wasn't giving me any future promise with us in a relationship...even if he was worried about me WHY bother? He wouldn't know what's going on with me anyways if he didn't want to be bothered and "do nothing"
I havent responded back in 3 days he is still texting me, why? I thought he didnt want anything to do with me or whatever? (link)
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Why don't you ask him? That's probably the best way to find out what his intentions are.
He obviously still cares and for whatever reason (like maybe he doesn't want to put in the effort or wants to be single again) he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. He said he thinks it can be fixed, but he won't try. Why won't he?
It's none of his business what you get up to and what you do. If he asks, you don't have to reply and you can tell him it has no relevance to him.
I think it sounds a little like he wants you because he can't have you. The more you ignore him and pull away the more he wants to have you. If he keeps asking you questions, then just ask him why. Ask him exactly what you asked in your question "Why are you still texting me when you didn't want anything to do with me?". If he says he doesn't want anything to do with you then tell him to leave you alone.
Things can change and maybe in the future he will come back and want to fix things and be with you again, but you shouldn't be wasting your time on someone that isn't willing to put a little effort into keeping you.
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I got my inner conch pierced three days ago.. my piercer gave me a salt spray to spray onto the piercing 3-5 times a day, and i have been doing that. but every time i do it, water gets in my ear canal and causes irritation (feels similar to an ear infection). anyone know how i can clean it without hurting my ear?? i tried putting a tissue in there, but to no help. (link)
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Maybe try spraying it thickly onto one of those cotton bud stick things you use to clean your ears, then rub it onto your piercing to avoid getting it inside your ear?
Or put your index finger over your ear canal, spray the salt spray over your piercing with your other hand and tilt your head for a few minutes so that it doesn't drip down into your ear?
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My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, and... Let's just say that I give up. I don't know what to do anymore. I was positive it was going to work out, but he's just not trying. He told me he just didn't want to anymore, he just doesn't want a relationship anymore.
So I was thinking about giving him time since he wants to be a surgeon and everything. He will be working two jobs and going to school as a full time student, I know he won't have time for me. He wants me to move on, he asked me why I like him and everything.
He says that I'm always going to be that one special person, like the first person he kissed, the first person he lost his virginity, things like that. He also says that he's always going to love me, but the one thing that I'm scared about moving on... Is that I don't know where we will end up. Will we be friends? Will we possibly be together again? The other thing that I am scared to move on, I'm afraid he might be with another girl. I know it sounds selfish, but I'm terrified of losing him to another person. I don't want to even think about it, because he also told me that he wouldn't want to meet or see another girl because he knows they would get him off track to his career.
He doesn't want me to wait, because he believes he won't come back. He says he hopes, but he doesn't think he will. He even got my sister to try to help me move on, and that just hurts more.
Is there a way where I can move on? I don't want to hear about time or anything, but I need help to stop thinking of him moving onto another girl and everything. It makes me want to hold onto him longer because I'm scared he will.
The other question is, there must be a possible way that he will come back. So I was wondering, what would it take for him to come back? It doesn't matter how long for him it would take him, even years if it has to. But... Just how? Please help me.
Please and Thank you! (link)
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There is nothing you can do to pass this feeling quickly. Absolutely nothing. It's not what you want to hear, but it's true. But, I guarentee all of this will pass. You will move on and you'll be happy. Even happier than you could have imagined.
I don't care if you don't want to hear it, you asked for advice and this is it. It takes time. That's all that will help you. Time and lots of it. And yes, sometimes it takes a long time, but if you try to cut corners you'll find yourself 2 years down the track still in love with someone that does not love you back.
Yes, there will always be the chance that you to could get back together, but you have to realise that right now, nothing is going to change. You have to honestly believe that nothing is going to happen to feel a change, which itself takes some time.
You've just broken up and it's in this period where you feel like your world just keeps falling into smaller and smaller pieces. It stays like this for a while, then you'll have some good and some bad days. Then the good days will begin to out number the bad and you'll know you're moving on.
Be around friends and family that love you. Love yourself and remind yourself of how wonderful you are every single day. Take some time to cry, to be alone, but then take baby steps to being happy again. That is the only other advice I can give to help you in moving on.
You don't deserve to wait years for him. You don't deserve to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. You deserve someone that loves you and wouldn't hurt you like this. You deserve better and in time you will want better.
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