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Getting over him, what's going to happen.
My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, and... Let's just say that I give up. I don't know what to do anymore. I was positive it was going to work out, but he's just not trying. He told me he just didn't want to anymore, he just doesn't want a relationship anymore.
So I was thinking about giving him time since he wants to be a surgeon and everything. He will be working two jobs and going to school as a full time student, I know he won't have time for me. He wants me to move on, he asked me why I like him and everything.
He says that I'm always going to be that one special person, like the first person he kissed, the first person he lost his virginity, things like that. He also says that he's always going to love me, but the one thing that I'm scared about moving on... Is that I don't know where we will end up. Will we be friends? Will we possibly be together again? The other thing that I am scared to move on, I'm afraid he might be with another girl. I know it sounds selfish, but I'm terrified of losing him to another person. I don't want to even think about it, because he also told me that he wouldn't want to meet or see another girl because he knows they would get him off track to his career.
He doesn't want me to wait, because he believes he won't come back. He says he hopes, but he doesn't think he will. He even got my sister to try to help me move on, and that just hurts more.
Is there a way where I can move on? I don't want to hear about time or anything, but I need help to stop thinking of him moving onto another girl and everything. It makes me want to hold onto him longer because I'm scared he will.
The other question is, there must be a possible way that he will come back. So I was wondering, what would it take for him to come back? It doesn't matter how long for him it would take him, even years if it has to. But... Just how? Please help me.
Please and Thank you!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This break-up is terribly recent and your head must be in a funny place. You may not want to hear this, but I refuse to give you anything but the truth. Time will heal your broken heart. Give yourself the chance to live an independent life. Do things which make you happy, keep yourself busy and relax. Just breathe. Boys will come and go but at the end of the day you've got to remember that you are in control of how you react to situations like this. Rather than worrying yourself silly, understand that the pain you are experiencing right now (and also any emotional pain that you experience in the future) is going to shape you and transform you into a beautiful person who has experienced the ups and downs which will inevitably occur throughout life. If you love this person, let him go. Give him permission to live his life, just as you must live yours. Focus on getting through one day at a time, start to enjoy your own company again and think about the negative effect that emotional attachment has had on you. Free yourself of this burden. Love yourself without him. If you ever need to talk, I am here.
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There is nothing you can do to pass this feeling quickly. Absolutely nothing. It's not what you want to hear, but it's true. But, I guarentee all of this will pass. You will move on and you'll be happy. Even happier than you could have imagined.
I don't care if you don't want to hear it, you asked for advice and this is it. It takes time. That's all that will help you. Time and lots of it. And yes, sometimes it takes a long time, but if you try to cut corners you'll find yourself 2 years down the track still in love with someone that does not love you back.
Yes, there will always be the chance that you to could get back together, but you have to realise that right now, nothing is going to change. You have to honestly believe that nothing is going to happen to feel a change, which itself takes some time.
You've just broken up and it's in this period where you feel like your world just keeps falling into smaller and smaller pieces. It stays like this for a while, then you'll have some good and some bad days. Then the good days will begin to out number the bad and you'll know you're moving on.
Be around friends and family that love you. Love yourself and remind yourself of how wonderful you are every single day. Take some time to cry, to be alone, but then take baby steps to being happy again. That is the only other advice I can give to help you in moving on.
You don't deserve to wait years for him. You don't deserve to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. You deserve someone that loves you and wouldn't hurt you like this. You deserve better and in time you will want better.
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It seems like you really care about this man. I think he will come back whenever he feels like it. You never know. I know time does heal things but it also changes things. I understand how your feeling and sometimes I feel the same way about the guy I'm in love with and the whole girl situation. If you have hope that he will come back and not hold onto this man with all your heart maybe he will. Just have faith. He will come back maybe not now. But if he loves you there could be a possibility. Because a man that loves a woman would do anything for her. Don't hold on because that might cause you pain. You got to think about him not so often either. Just try to change your mindset. If he wants you, he'll want you. If he doesn't then he doesn't that's how guys are it's so simple and so direct you can't miss it. There's not much to say. Just be an attractive woman that you are and play hard to get. Don't be desperate. And I'm sure he will come around :) Remember true love waits...
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Not to sound mean hun but... you sound really desperate and if you are sounding that way to me and I'm a total stranger imagine how you sound to him... * Sound meaning: the words that you are writing or what I am reading... This guy really dosen't seem as if he's trying to come back to you anytie soon... especially if he's trying to get your sister to help you move on... Move on meaning... stop thinking about him... find someone else... all in the same family... Anyone who's not blind deaf or dumb can clearly see that you really love this guy... And take it from me being a girl who's been in your shoes countless times... The best thing you can do at this point is move on...
You don;t have to run out and find some random guy... but you can stop calling texting... cut off all communication... hang out with friends... if you wrk or go to school... focus alot on ur school... join groups... pick up more hours at your job if you can... do some blogs... join or create groups or like pages on face book... to break it down keep ur self busy... three weeks is still fresh trust me I know... but the last thing you want to do is waste months or even years obsessing on a guy that will never come back...
I did that once do you know it took me two and a half years on the last guy I was with... To this day he's married and not to me now it's been three and a half years and I'm still single... mainly because I lived my life thinking about yesterdays people... not saying your siuation will be like mine... but honey you really need to move on... and no one on adviceanators no matter how good their advice is can tell force you to move on... it dosen't happens over night but I promise you it will over time... you don't want to hear about time you said... but I can honestly tell you time is the greatest healer...
He may come back... he may not... But I can assure you he will not comeback if you continue to try to keep yourself in his life... men love a independent women that can hold her own... now it's time to hold yours...
- The best luck to you and always-
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