I love him so much it kills me when we have to go our seperate ways and live so far apart... I cry myself to sleep, I can't eat or think straight because I miss him so much... please help me.
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18/f
i really need advice/support/someone to talk to..
i really feel like my life is getting out of control. i hate who i've become. i used to be this really nice shy girl who cares about everybody's feelings and i was just overall a nice person. a lot of people liked me because i was so nice. but now i just feel like i'm losing control of my life. i'm not influence with drugs or alcohol. (i'm not that stupid) but i feel like lately i've been so unfair and un-loyal to people. i've lost about 20 people in my life. they walked out of my life because they said i was too much drama and they couldn't handle me in their lives and they were better off without me there.
the first few times people left me were hard.. i didnt know what i did wrong and i was devastated. but then after about 10-15 people left i got used to it and realized they were being stupid. but then something major happened this past week.. my ex boyfriend wanted to get back with me (while i was still with my current bf) and a huge drama fest broke out. they fought over me and made me pick in between them. for a few days i kept switching my mind and i know that was a bad mistake. finally today i made my decision to stick with my current bf. my ex was devastated and started to tell me that karma will kick my ass one day and that i'm a hurtful person. he said i dragged his heart and ran over it with a tank. that made me cry and i realized that its not just a coincidence.. so many people have walked out on my life and i realize its all because of me and how i treated them. my boyfriends friends hate me because they heard how unfair i was treating my bf (by comparing him to my ex and not deciding who i wanted). my bff told me that i was a horrible person because i treat people badly and dont think about how others feel. and just so many other things happened in my life that makes me realize how horrible i am.. like for example- i lost a good girl friend because i thought she was just using me and didnt really care about me. another time i lost a guy friend because i told him i really cared about him but he wanted more and it just fell apart because we wanted different things.
my parents tell me i'm such a good kid but i honestly dont see how they and other friends can look at me and think i'm a great person... i admit it- i treat people like crap. i'm unfair towards people and say things i dont really mean. i've been crying for the past 2 hours because i feel like i'm literally losing control of my life. i wish i could just start everything over and forget about all of my mistakes.
i just really need advice on what to do. i've tried talking to close people about how i feel but they keep getting mad at me because i "dont realize how important i am" but i honestly dont think i'm that important. i feel like if i was gone tomorrow, nothing would change in life. yeah my parents would be sad (which is why i promised myself i wouldn't commit suicide) but i feel like all of my other friends wouldnt even notice me gone.. they would probably be happy to have me gone because i cause so much drama. but the thing is.. i dont purposely try to cause drama... it just happens...
another thing- sometimes i realize that i cause drama, and i back off. i try to fix it by backing off and just letting things happen naturally. but everytime i do that i get b*tched at by other people because i'm not "giving effort in life". its like- if i try in life, everything just gets worse. but if i dont try- people think i'm lazy and dont care.
i really dont know what to do anymore.. i'm losing control of my life and i'm hurting people that mean so much to me (unintentionally). how do i get back on track and just start over? or make myself feel better? just please... any type of advice? i know this is probably very long and you might feel annoyed and not want to answer.. but even if its just a small answer, i will be grateful for anyone who is listening right now.. i'm just so upset with my life and i want to change but everytime i try to change, it just gets worse. please help :(
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Is this abuse. I have been wanting to go back to school (college) since my husband and I started dating. He told me I dont need to go to school I need to work. Friday, I called the college and talked to someone about signing up for online school, one class at a time and work. Well when we all went to town he said where to I said walmart and I need to go by the college and he gave me a look and said for i said to pick up papers to sign up for school and he keep asking me why. I said because I want to. Well after walmart and he did his errons he went home and didnt even start to head towards the college. Hes constantly yelling at my 3 year old. ( his step son) My father says im being abused emotionally. I love him even though there is constant conflict mostly because he wont look or keep a job.I think im scared to leave.
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My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, and... Let's just say that I give up. I don't know what to do anymore. I was positive it was going to work out, but he's just not trying. He told me he just didn't want to anymore, he just doesn't want a relationship anymore.
So I was thinking about giving him time since he wants to be a surgeon and everything. He will be working two jobs and going to school as a full time student, I know he won't have time for me. He wants me to move on, he asked me why I like him and everything.
He says that I'm always going to be that one special person, like the first person he kissed, the first person he lost his virginity, things like that. He also says that he's always going to love me, but the one thing that I'm scared about moving on... Is that I don't know where we will end up. Will we be friends? Will we possibly be together again? The other thing that I am scared to move on, I'm afraid he might be with another girl. I know it sounds selfish, but I'm terrified of losing him to another person. I don't want to even think about it, because he also told me that he wouldn't want to meet or see another girl because he knows they would get him off track to his career.
He doesn't want me to wait, because he believes he won't come back. He says he hopes, but he doesn't think he will. He even got my sister to try to help me move on, and that just hurts more.
Is there a way where I can move on? I don't want to hear about time or anything, but I need help to stop thinking of him moving onto another girl and everything. It makes me want to hold onto him longer because I'm scared he will.
The other question is, there must be a possible way that he will come back. So I was wondering, what would it take for him to come back? It doesn't matter how long for him it would take him, even years if it has to. But... Just how? Please help me.
Please and Thank you!
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I am a teenage girl with kind of a big problem. My thoughts are consumed by the thought of appearance and other peoples approval. I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror seeing every imperfection wheather big or small. I know a lot of people have this problem, especially at my age. But I get severly depressed from it, I have made people not want to be around or get annoyed with me always asking if I look good. And I cannot go a day without receiving a compliment from anyone other than my mom, if I never get one I'll feel like I looked disgusting that day. I love my life, and the only thing I would change is how I view myself. So please anyone out there with an opinion or could help me with this situtation, your time is very much apperiated.
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