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Abuse??
Is this abuse. I have been wanting to go back to school (college) since my husband and I started dating. He told me I dont need to go to school I need to work. Friday, I called the college and talked to someone about signing up for online school, one class at a time and work. Well when we all went to town he said where to I said walmart and I need to go by the college and he gave me a look and said for i said to pick up papers to sign up for school and he keep asking me why. I said because I want to. Well after walmart and he did his errons he went home and didnt even start to head towards the college. Hes constantly yelling at my 3 year old. ( his step son) My father says im being abused emotionally. I love him even though there is constant conflict mostly because he wont look or keep a job.I think im scared to leave.
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The fact of the matter is that you have a young child who you must protect from any person or thing you may see as a threat. This man, whether he is the step-father or not, has absolutely no right to yell at your child and you should not allow it. His controlling behaviour is a sure sign for what could potentially become some form of abuse in the future if you let it. Considering that you've seeked advice for this matter suggests to me that you really are worried about the situation you're in, so I think that this relationship must end for the sake of both your safety and your 3 year olds.
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well he is pretty much controlling you... i would call it abuse. abuse comes in many different ways. physical and emotional. he is basically telling you that you cant go to school and that you have to work and he's yelling at your son..
my opinon is that you are scared to leave. but look at it this way, wouldn't you rather be happy knowing that he's not controlling you and that you are in control of your own life??
i'm a HUGE feminist. i believe women have rights and we shouldn't be treated like this. we aren't a computer. if guys want to control us, they might as well buy a robot, put a wig on it and name it... we are not robots. we are women with rights and we don't deserve this.
stand up for yourself. yes it will be hard. but if i were you, i would be fed up with this and i would shove it all in his face and say "you know what? you aren't the boss of me. you can't control me and i'm not giving up on my life just because you say so. who says i have to listen to you? i'm leaving." have the courage and stand up for yourself and for your son. he doesn't deserve this either. what did he do wrong? he's just being his normal 3 year old self.. yet he has to put up with your husbands abuse everyday?? thats not fair for him..
do it for yourself and for your son. neither of you deserve to be unhappy. you are the only person in charge of your life. no matter how far you go down the wrong road, you can always turn back around :)
good luck. inbox me if you need more help!
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If you think you are being abused but want to stay with him, seek counseling, for yourself as an individual, and for you both as a couple.
However, you are married to this guy. You are sharing a life. There has to be open lines of communication, not you just going off and doing what you want without warning or discussion. Saying "I've always wanted too since we met" is fine, but he deserved a simple warning and discussion of your plans prior to a trip in to sign the papers.
If you want to stay with him, you both need counseling, if you are ready to leave, than leave. Ask your father for his advice and support, and leave.
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Yes, this is controlling and emotionally abusive behavior. Your father obviously cares about you and is trying to help -- listen to him. Love is not enough to build a healthy relationship, particularly if that love is all on your side. Please consider the emotional and psychological well-being of your child, as well as yourself. He will learn from your example. Be a good example to him: show self-respect, and get away from a situation in which you are denigrated and held back by someone who can't or won't keep a job. If you are afraid to leave, there are social services that can counsel you on safety protocols. Depending on why you are afraid to leave, you may also wish to look into a restraining order.
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Even if his behaviour is not legally classified as abuse, it is toxic behaviour.
What decent guy wouldn't want his wife to upgrade her education so that she can bring in better money for the family? He may be a weak enough individual to be intimidated by the fact that you would be educated and have independent means.
Love is one thing in a relationship. When you have a child to consider, they take priority over your feelings. You should be doing what's best for your little boy. Do you want him to grow up in a house that he's unhappy in? Do you want him to have an uncertain future because your husband won't support him by keeping a job? You don't have to leave your husband, necessarily. However, a separation may be for the best until you can tell whether or not he's going to shape up. Tell him what you need from him and boot him out of the house, or go stay with relatives until he can behave himself and prove he's a real man.
You need to find out why he's so against you going to school. "'Cause" isn't an excuse. Have arguments ready for any possible plans of attack. If he tells you he just doesn't want you educated, you leave him. It's controlling behaviour and it traps you and your little boy.
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