I've overcome a lot of challenges, and have a strong educational background in psychology and communications. I believe that common sense and honesty are key to success in life -- and that most of us have common sense which we choose to ignore when making decisions.
Member Since: November 6, 2010
Answers: 36
Last Update: November 14, 2010
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Ok so Im dating this guy he likes to drink in gamble and he can be sweet but i dont no if i can trust him. also my dad dont like him.I been hanging with my guy friend and he is amazing n im starting to really like him he dont drink or do anything he dont even smoke and i can be my self around him and the good thing is my dad really likes him.my dads opinion is really important to me btw..but my boyfriend is texting my bestfriend and flirting with her he swears he's not but it is flirting and we barly talk which is messed up so i broke up with him and he is flipping out cause he said my find is just jealous and i dont thnk so cause we been friends for 8 years and i only no my bf for 6 months so my question is should i forgive my boyfriend and quit hanging with the guy im starting to really like or should i stay broke up with my guy and stay out of the drama in givee his new guy a chance?? (link)
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clearly the boyfriend is bad news. He drinks, gambles, hits on other women, and you don't know if you can trust him. There is no up side to this relationship that I can see. Even if your other guy friend isn't the one, please stay broken up with the boyfriend. You're worth more than that.
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how do you get your cat to take a bath? cause I'm havin' a lil' problem on my cat it's always involves chasing her and me gettin scratched or bitten!i need advice on how i could get it to take a bath without me gettin hurt part (link)
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Cats do not normally need to be bathed. However, if your cat has gone outdoors and gotten into something that normal cat hygiene isn't taking care of, many cats will allow you to "groom" them with a rough washcloth dampened with warm water. It takes a little longer, but it's easier on the cat, and easier on you.
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Is this abuse. I have been wanting to go back to school (college) since my husband and I started dating. He told me I dont need to go to school I need to work. Friday, I called the college and talked to someone about signing up for online school, one class at a time and work. Well when we all went to town he said where to I said walmart and I need to go by the college and he gave me a look and said for i said to pick up papers to sign up for school and he keep asking me why. I said because I want to. Well after walmart and he did his errons he went home and didnt even start to head towards the college. Hes constantly yelling at my 3 year old. ( his step son) My father says im being abused emotionally. I love him even though there is constant conflict mostly because he wont look or keep a job.I think im scared to leave. (link)
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Yes, this is controlling and emotionally abusive behavior. Your father obviously cares about you and is trying to help -- listen to him. Love is not enough to build a healthy relationship, particularly if that love is all on your side. Please consider the emotional and psychological well-being of your child, as well as yourself. He will learn from your example. Be a good example to him: show self-respect, and get away from a situation in which you are denigrated and held back by someone who can't or won't keep a job. If you are afraid to leave, there are social services that can counsel you on safety protocols. Depending on why you are afraid to leave, you may also wish to look into a restraining order.
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I am 19 years old, i'm not a vergin and i've had sex without a condom but no one has ever cummed inside me before. I've been having cramps for about a month and i haven't been on my period. Even when i am on my period i have cramps and when i am not its the same thing. My question is: is it possible for me to have an STD even if no one has ever cummed inside me? or could it be somethng serios wrong with my womb? I would go to the doctor if i could but i can't i have no ride there and i don't drive. I have never been tested for STDs or HIV and i lost my verginity 2 years ago. What do u think could be wrong with me? Oh and also about 2 months ago i had my period and it lasted for 13 days. What could that mean? and when i have sex it kinda hurts in a way i feel it shouldn't. (link)
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Yes, it is very possible to have an STD without having a partner who ejaculated inside you. If you are having uterine pain with no period, it could be fibroids, or an infection, or cysts, or endometriosis ... or any number of things. Are you in an area where Planned Parenthood or any medical resource is available? Is there any bus service you could use to get to a doctors? Fibroids can also cause unusually long or heavy bleeding during menstruation.
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I'm a 23 year old male. I don’t know whether what I feel now is real or just me trying to make it real. I have this void inside me, where deep down I honestly don’t feel anything for anyone. I can say that I love my dad, my sisters, but when I look inside to see that love I find nothing.
I had a pretty crappy childhood, although I remember good times, me and my sisters were also abused. My father had a mental breakdown when I was 10 or so, and for years did nothing but lie on his bed and cry. My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me two days ago. I feel hurt, but not as much as I should. I’ve shed three tears, but that’s all. The only emotion I can distinctly feel is rage and anger.
I find myself not wanting to socialise with people (the reason why my girlfriend broke up with me). In a perfect world I would stay in a small apartment by myself, and never have to talk to anyone again. I find myself going through the motions with people, laugh when I’m supposed to, and say the right thing at the right time. I just feel numb. So much of my time is spent thinking about this, whether something’s wrong with me.
I look to the future, and I don’t see anything. I have no desire to do anything with my life, no drive. I don’t see any point in continuing to live when I don’t see anything to live for; it’s a view that is emotion-free, based wholly on what I feel is logical. I know that killing myself is selfish, as it will hurt those around me. I don’t want to hurt those who love me, but once again I can’t help but feel that that’s just me trying to project a feeling, rather than it being genuine. I’m not considering it as an option, as I know the damage it would do those around me, but I feel no sadness when I think about it, it seems to me to be a cold, rational decision. I don’t know whether this is just depression or is just the way I am. I guess my question is whether or not this is normal for some people? (sorry for the wall of text)
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It's quite common for people who were abused as children to dissociate from emotions, in order to protect themselves. It usually takes some guidance from a therapist or counselor who specializes in childhood trauma to teach you how to safely feel again, and also teach you how to process and let go of some of that anger.
You are not alone in this experience, and it is very possible to heal and learn to feel emotions again, both positive and negative. It takes work, but having access to your feelings again gives you a new perspective on life.
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i accidently called my gf fat what do i do ? (link)
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It's hard to answer without knowing the exact circumstances. Were you joking? Do you actually think she's fat? And if so, does it bother you?
Probably the best thing to do is apologize,and reassure her that you find her to be attractive, sexy, and lovable.
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My name is akshay and i am fifteen years old. I am very lean and thin. I am very tensed about my weight. My weight is approximately 45 kgs. I don't play much and stay away from games and sports, because i don't want to burn too much calories by indulging in sports. I know that by exercising, i will become a healthy individual. But i think that if i do exercise i will decrease my weight. Is this thought correct? On the other hand, however much i eat, there's on increase in my weight. I have taken 3 months of weight gainers, but still there's no hope of weight gain. Please advice...... (link)
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Hi Ashkay,
Exercise is important for the health of your heart, lungs, and muscles. It's also a good habit to get into, for health in later life. Low-impact aerobics, such as walking or gentle biking or swimming, won't burn huge amounts of calories, but will be good for your body.You're right that sports training can burn a lot of calories, but a brisk walk or cycling for pleasure shouldn't burn enough to negatively affect you.
Some people just have very fast metabolisms when they are in their teens, but if you are worried, you might want to see a doctor just to make sure there's no other underlying cause for weight loss. You should also consult with a doctor or nutritionist before taking any kind of supplement such as "weight gainers," as you might not have enough knowledge to gauge whether they are safe for you. It is important to be very careful at your age about what you put into your still-developing body, so you should seek input from a professional who has your health in mind.
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What are some signs of an eating disorder? (generic)
Thanks! =D (link)
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Some signs of an eating disorder can include:
1) Obsession with weight, including weighing oneself multiple times a day.
2) A distorted perception of how one's own body looks (seeing yourself as fat in the mirror when others tell you that you are thin, for example).
3) Excessively controlling portions or counting calories.
4) Being afraid to eat out or eat at someone else's house, for fear of not having control over the food, or fear of being expected to eat.
5) Forced purging using laxatives or by causing vomiting after meals.
6) Repeated binge eating.
7) Feeling ashamed of eating, or feeling the need to hoard or hide food.
8) Having very different eating habits when alone vs. when eating with others.
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I started taking the pill yesterday, my doctor said to take the white inactive pills for a week then take the blue ones, then there were green ones to take while on my period, he said I could start that day, so I did and then today I started my period, do I take the white or green ones or do I take both? (link)
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You should be taking one pill per day, in the order they come in the pack. It will usually take a cycle for your period to adjust so it comes on the right week. Be aware that until you have gone through a cycle, you can still get pregnant easily; you need to be sure to use a backup method during your first month (and actually it's good to use backup anyway, to make sure you don't get pregnant). Be sure to take your pills at the same time every day, to maximize their effectiveness and allow your body to adjust easily to the hormones.
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I had sex with a guy on sept. 28, 2010. we use pull-out or withdrawal method. we did it again on october 9, 2010, and october 18,2010. until now i don't have my period. am i pregnant?
The last time i had my period was september 20-25. (link)
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You should get a pregnancy test to be sure. The withdrawal method is extremely unreliable, as pre-ejaculate often has sperm in it, and can get you pregnant. Please consider more reliable methods of contraception; the best thing to do is double up to be completely certain -- like a condom and contraceptive foam, or the Pill with a condom backup.
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i was just wondering if im anorexic. all my friends say i am and they all say im really really skinny and i am but i think my tummy and thighs are really really fat. so im trying to loes weight but my friends keep thretening to tell a teacher if i dont start eating. and the say you have to eat 2000 calories a day and that haveing water for breackfast doesnt count cos it has no calories in. also does anyone know how to stop your tummy from rummbling? iv tried drinking water ( which is why i hve it for breakfast) but it doesnt work that well
thanks
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by the way i'm 13 (year 9) and i weight 6 stone. does anyone know how much your supposed to weigh?
(sorry about my spelling and stuff) (link)
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Hi there,
I would recommend that you consult with a doctor or nutritionist to determine what a proper weight would be for your age and height, and what a realistic calorie intake would be, based on your activity level. If your friends are this concerned, there is probably a good reason. If you are afraid of eating, and obsessively focused on losing weight, you may need some counseling to help you find a healthier way to think about your body and food. Bear in mind that the primary goal of food is to fuel the body, and a body that isn't being fueled properly won't work as well, either physically or mentally. Many schools have a nurse or counselor on staff who may be able to help you with the initial conversation about healthy weight and healthy eating habits.
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I am suffering from bipolar disorder. I cannot concentrate on one thing. Because at one moment i feel that it is a very good thing and i get very much interested and the next minute i get bored from that thing and get least interested in that thing. I want to stop that task at that time and want to do something different. The same thing happens with that task also and evenually i keep bouncing from one task to the other, be it studies or any other thing, any thought. It goes with money, girls, internet, everything. For example, At once i get interested in making money, i make many plans of making money, read as many articles as i can, and am very very interested. Then after few minutes i get bored and come to the conclusion that making money is not a good thing or is a very boring thing. Then i go making girlfriends. Same thing happens with it. Eventually i waste my time doing nothing worthwhile. Please help. (link)
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Have you been specifically diagnosed with bipolar disorder? If not, you may want to have a professional assessment by a counselor or therapist. The behavior you describe does not sound like someone who is bipolar -- bipolar disorder usually alternates between periods of highly energetic mania and severe depression, in cycles of weeks or even months. It sounds as if you lack focus/motivation, which is not the same as being bipolar.
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i'm a senior in high school and i hate all of my friends. they are all huge back stabbers, their boring, and i'm just so sick of it. i even tried to graduate early, but i couldn't because i'd have to take a night class and missed it. i don't know what to do, how can i make senior year more enjoyable? :( (link)
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How about getting involved in an activity outside of school? What are your interests? There are always groups looking for volunteers, and people who meet up to explore shared hobbies, crafts, sports, etc. Those friends are likely to last past high school -- an added bonus!
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My ex boyfriend (who broke up with me 3 months ago) text me saying he still loves me and can't get over me. But he isn't sure what he wants. He apologised for how he's treated me since we broke up and the day later he text me again saying he did mean what he said yesterday.
I'm so confused :/ What does he want? Attention? (link)
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I think a lot depends on why he broke up with you, and how the relationship was when you were together. Sometimes people do make mistakes out of fear or from their own stuff, and regret it later. However, the fact that he isn't sure what he wants may be a warning sign that he's a commitment-phobe; he may regret the breakup but isn't ready to give you what you need. It's probably worth talking to him (in person) to hear what he has to say, so that you can make a fully informed decision.
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So this guy wants to finger me and it'd be my first time that someone else has done it to me, and what do i do when he does? (link)
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One question I have would be: do you want him to do this? If you don't, please tell him no. It's okay not to be ready for this, so make sure you're genuinely all right with the idea.
If you are, it's important to be aware that if you are used to touching yourself, he will be touching you from a very different angle, and he may not understand how to touch you. Every woman's anatomy is different. It is important that you feel comfortable letting him know how you like to be touched. Many men go straight for direct pressure on the clitoris, not realizing that this is very painful until full arousal is reached. You may need to show him how you like to be touched, and it's okay for you to do that. A good thing to say is, "That feels really good, and I like this, too," and then show him what you like.
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So I met this guy and we got together the second time , and so when we did the second time because the first time we met in public and then before the second time and so he said he wanted me to be comfortable to have sex with him that whole week so he could have sex with me that last day(friday) and so I told him no right and then he said if I was there he'd have my shirt up and off and everything and later on I told him that I didnt want it and he said its insulting that I dont trust him after knowing him of two weeks and he said he wont go anywhere until the movies until stable relationship so today I felt bad because I made another excuse and then i went and seen him and he went right into making out up my shirt tried down my pants while I told him before no and then went down his pants and then he asked me so many times for a blowjob and i was like what about next time.. and all that right? and i felt bad so i went down on him twice my pants were on and his were off , but he didnt do his big cum explosion. am I pregnant? and i went to check myself and i had white stuff , but is that just from me? because pants and undies were on and everything so
thank you betty (link)
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Betty,
First of all, you should never, never, never feel pressured into having sex or sexual contact. Two weeks is not long enough for many women to feel comfortable making sexual contact. For your own safety, you should not have any unprotected contact without exchanging STD panel test results. You can easily get HIV or herpes from giving blowjobs. You need to be okay with saying no, and learn to protect your health and safety.
That being said, it is not possible to get pregnant from giving a blowjob. From your post, it sounds as if you did not have any contact between his genitals and yours, but it's a little hard to tell. If indeed you did not have genital contact or penetration, it is very unlikely that you could be pregnant. If you were feeling aroused, your own lubrication may be what you were seeing.
You don't have to have sex to get a guy to like you. Be careful, and take care of yourself. You get to choose what you do, and when you do it.
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umm well im 14 and im a 36B or 38B, i think and im so upset. my boobs aren't "perky" :\
i dont know what to do. my mom says "everybody is different" i know its true but it doesnt help me! im not sure if i would call my boobs "saggy" or not but they kind of are :( im not sure if there is anything i can do to help this? or if it's common in most girls? thank you for the answers (link)
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Don't worry. :-) Everyone is indeed different. There are all different types of bras, to make every woman look great -- if you haven't ever had a real bra fitting, give it a try! Having a well-fitting, flattering bra really helps. Nobody is perfect, but you can feel more confident sometimes with the right lingerie.
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Is 8years too long to wait for marriage (link)
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How old are you? Why eight years specifically? There are a lot of unknowns in this question. I know plenty of people who waited longer than that to get married, though they were together the whole time, but without more specifics from you, it's hard to tell what might be going on in your situation.
Bear in mind that in some states, if you live together as a couple, you have the rights and responsibilities of a married couple, and may accidentally acquire interest in each other's assets and debts. Not being married isn't a guarantee of financial safety. You should consult with a family law attorney to be on the safe side, to make sure you don't land yourself in a vulnerable situation.
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Hey there,
Well this may seem a bit silly, but I was wondering if I could perhaps be bipolar? My friends and family have "jokingly" mentioned that I might be.... Here are some of my "symptoms". I get really happy and excited for no reason and then other times I get into this mood, when I dont want to talk to anyone; I get so irratable and mean to everyone for no reason. I also get depresed randomly for a whole day. Then the next day Im REALLY REALLY happy and excited. This cycle constantly repeats itself. Sometimes I get so excited that I cant even sleep. I just lie awake daydreaming. My friends also pointed out to me that I dont have "controll" over my emotions. I get excited when I should be sad and vice versa.
What do you think?
(link)
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It's possible to have cyclical emotions without being bipolar. You don't mention how old you are -- if you're under 21, you may simply be still developing your psychological and emotional responses and personality.
However, if you are concerned, you should consult a psychologist for an evaluation. You may also find it helpful to track what's going on in your life in a journal, to assess whether your feelings of happiness or sadness really are random and without reason. You may be having delayed reactions to events, or you may have things going on that you haven't dealt with or processed, which may cause you to have moods that seem random, but really aren't.
If you are female, you may also have mood cycles related to your menstrual cycle, and that might be useful to track. If you do decide to see a mental health professional, the more information you can provide, the better you'll be able to collaborate in assessing your situation and finding a good management solution.
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My brother's friend who is about 20 years old just lost a significant amount of weight. However, he never expressed a desire to lose weight to any of us, so I'm wondering...would it be appropriate to tell him he looks good??? How would I even word that? (link)
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I'd be careful with this one ... you don't want to give the impression that you thought he looked bad before, or reinforce any idea that his worth as a person is tied to how he looks. I'd leave off the "these days" part of "you look great" and just pay him the kind of compliment you'd pay anyone. If he looks particularly good on any given day, tell him so. But if he hasn't been vocal about wanting to lose weight, he may prefer not to have a big deal made out of it.
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