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Improving my self image/ self-esteem
I am a teenage girl with kind of a big problem. My thoughts are consumed by the thought of appearance and other peoples approval. I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror seeing every imperfection wheather big or small. I know a lot of people have this problem, especially at my age. But I get severly depressed from it, I have made people not want to be around or get annoyed with me always asking if I look good. And I cannot go a day without receiving a compliment from anyone other than my mom, if I never get one I'll feel like I looked disgusting that day. I love my life, and the only thing I would change is how I view myself. So please anyone out there with an opinion or could help me with this situtation, your time is very much apperiated.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You must realise that you are your own worst enemy and you will never be satisfied with yourself if you continue on this cycle of self-hatred. You are young, fresh and you have your entire life ahead of you but you are wasting precious time focussing on the negative. In the words of Ram Dass: "Everything in your life is there as a vehicle for your transformation. Use it." Give yourself a break. Take the time to really open your eyes and see yourself in a new light. True beauty comes from within, so look around and understand that your appearance is completely irrelevant. By loving yourself and treating yourself with respect you will find your happy place and finally be at peace with who you are. There are people in this world who will look at your flaws and imperfections and think that they are beautiful - and they really are! They give you character; there is nobody else out there like you. Remember that you are a strong girl, you are still growing and someday as a woman you will look back on this time in your life and realise that you never gave yourself enough credit. Your life is going to be filled with growth and adventure, all of which will overpower the sadness that you feel now. Give yourself permission to let go of your insecurities and to start living a more positive and fulfilling life.
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Time for a little grandfatherly advise. Since I am old enough to be your grandfather I am going to offer some.
First, Dom was pretty much on the money with what he wrote. People that are constantly concerned with the way they look; constantly fishing for complements on how they look are considered very vain. Vanity is a trait most people do not like seeing in others as it makes them appear shallow.
You can be the warmest, most helpful, most sincere person a person would ever want to meet; if not for the vanity they express to others. There is an old saying that is very true; "beauty is only skin deep.: There is also an old song which has as part of the lyric; "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life marry yourself an ugly wife". The lyric justifies the saying.
You need to look beyond the exterior beauty to see the real person. This is a bad analogy but it makes my point. At on time auto makers would spent their money dressing up the exterior features of a car, the parts the the public could see and touch. They spent less on the operating parts. There feeling was the more beautiful the car was the better it would sell and the more they could charge. That is not the same today; they provide the basic car in good mechanical condition. The customer buys the fancy add ons. It was called selling the sizzle and not the steak. Today they sell the steak and you by the sizzle.
How is this appropriate to your question. Under your facial beauty is the real you, the person when people take the time to get to know you will come to like and love. Facial beauty can always be improved upon to attract someone, but if they don't take the time to get to know you all the attractive add ons mean nothing. This is why the phrase the "Beautiful People" is also synonymous with short lived relationships.
For now my advice is to enjoy who you are. Your body will be adjusting to puberty for sometime to come, in some people it continues in to their 20's. As you continue through puberty more and more changes will occur. They will become more subtle as you become older.
Remember this: If someone is only interested in you because of your looks or because of what only your sex can provide. They are not worthy of you.
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Well if you're thoughts are consumed by that....then think of this. Something that you see as an imperfection or a flaw may be cute/adorable to another person. It's not really on the outside that is important anyways. It's the inside. Just for thinking this way, someone can view you as ugly cause you care about your looks, even if you are one of the most beautiful women in the world. If you're pretty, dont think another thought about it, and just know that you're pretty.
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