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my best friend and me
ok so me and my best friend are really close. were so close that people actually call us lesbians. we talk on the phone everyday for 2 hours. we see each other a lot and hang out. but lately ever since she got the job she is now working with me. we like to get the same shifts so we can work together. but we keep fighting now. and for some reason im just getting so mad at her for being so stupid at times for other reasons not at work. i dont know why im acting like this towards her. but i guess it's because im sick of her. I dont know. but we havent been talking a lot lately and we keep talking rudely to each other. i just want to fix it. and tomorrow we have different shifts and she wants me to change mine so i can work her shift. im just so stressed out with her it's making me be mean to her. what should i do? is it because i need some space from her or what?
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sorry if the answer's late! i just stumbled upon this randomly. it's hard when this happens in friendships. i have lots of close friends and sometimes when i spend too much time with them i get so irritated it's crazy. it's not that im sick of my friends, i just need my own space sometimes. fortunately my friends understand when i just lock myself up in the room and blame it on hormones (haha).
i say, just quietly spend less time with her. when she asks to hang out just say you're tired or something. when you have different shifts, just say you cant change it coz your mum needs you to be at home (when it's the time of her shift) etc etc. it just takes a few days (or weeks) for you to miss your friend again, so then you can spend time with her again. but Beware, dont ever tell her that you're avoiding her because you're sick or bored of her, that'll hurt her feelings even though it's true. (from experience, dont do it). it's common to be bored of your friends after a while. but dont let it ruin a good friendship :D
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Space is definitely a must. I love my best friends, but I can't be with them every moment, I'd go crazy!
Everyone has different comfort zones and personal spaces. Work is one of them. Work is a place where you do a different routine, behave differently, and have different kinds of friends. When your best friend is there, she's invading that space that was once yours and the lines between what is your personal space is blurred. Since you can't really avoid this, just don't fuss about shifts. If you get one with her, then great, but if you don't then don't worry about it. You should be acting in a professional manner anyway at work and not focusing so much on talking to your friend.
As for the rest of your time, don't go out of your way to avoid her, but just relax a little and enjoy quiet alone time. Try to explain to her if you can that you two being around each other so much is causing a lot of tension. Say in a nice way that you need a little bit of privacy and time to yourself. Not that this means never seeing her, maybe just not for a week. Then you two could plan to do something that you both enjoy the next week so that you can relax a little and have some fun. With my two best friends we try to see each other once a week to do something fun like have some drinks, go out to dinner, go shopping, watch dvds...etc. And this works out really well.
Best friends are like having boyfriends. Sometimes you get sick of them, sometimes you get angry for no reason and sometimes you just need to be away from them for a little bit. Even if she does get upset or angry at you saying you want some more time to yourself, she'll get over it and understand eventually.
Also with the New Years thing, don't worry about it. She cares about you a lot and wants to spend the best of times with you, and this tension thing is just fueling her to act out a little more aggressively than she normally would. Holding a grudge about it won't solve anything.
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I can relate. It's natural to get annoyed with someone after being with them too long/often. It just takes one thing to annoy you, then after every little thing ticks you off. You guys just need space from each other, that way you two will be excited when you do see each other again.
I say you talk to your friend if she gets mad at you for pulling away. Have an honest conversation saying that you do care about her, but you need your space. It's for the sake of both of y'all's sanity! haha. If she's a good friend (and she probably is since you two are so close), she should understand.
One more thing, it's natural to get into conflicts whenever there's a change in your friendship. You guys are used to spending so much time together that she still expects that - probably why she was bitchy to you on New Year's. You could also bring this up in your conversation.
Hope this helps!
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