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I am not a slut; how do I get people to stop calling me a slut?


Question Posted Monday January 3 2011, 12:20 pm

I'm a freshmen and I lost my virginity in the spring of 2010 to my boyfriend. Things got rough when he broke up with me and I found out he had been cheating. I went to this summer high school party and things got a little crazy even though I wasn't drinking. I ended up having sex with a bunch of the guys there. It was really, really bad. I got pregnant, panicked and told like all of my friends, and then ended up having a miscarriage (not abortion like some rumors going around say). So like everybody knew what went on since a lot of people were at the party and then I opened my big mouth about me getting pregnant.

This year everybody calls me a slut, but I swear I'm not really. I was just hurt, I guess. It hurts because right before winter vacation a senior asked me to prom and I accepted and was happy at first but then he was all saying how he doesn't want to knock me up and I figured out that's the whole reason (sex) why he wanted to go with me so I had to tell him no to going.

I confronted one girl who was ALWAYS picking on me and calling me slut and whore. We had this fight but I feel terrible because at one point she asked me how many guys I've had sex with and my number is kinda big for my age and I didn't know more than half the guys that did it with me. It only makes things worse for me because I keep thinking of what I did and how it was pretty bad.

I don't want to be slutty. I haven't had sex with ANYBODY since summer. How do I get people to forget about the summer thing and just move on with things? I don't want to be THE slut of the school because of 1 thing I did.


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DarkDaughters answered Monday March 14 2011, 12:28 am:
I hate to say it but people are calling you a slut because you acted like a slut. A slut means having sex with random guys and random places at random times... and considering you did just that makes people think you're a slut. PS: Sluts can't actually admit that they're sluts... so... yeah.

I really do feel bad for you though:( I know this was a one time thing, and this label for you will just vansish soon, but just don't make this mistake again!

Watch Easy A

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selinajones28 answered Monday January 10 2011, 2:50 pm:
slut is a word with different meaning to it and it can be depending on the person who is receiving it is weather how they take it i would say avoid fighting and ignore them if they can't get a reaction out of you they will leave you alone i would say think about what you are saying stuff like what you did at a party and pregnant is you and you alone people will do things to hurt there friends etc if they are jealous of the other person so take no notice i know it is hard but i eventually it does quieten down as that is what i had to do in a similar situation and it worked it was hard going not to react but it worked and being nice works as it throws the other person off guard as they are not expecting it and works as you have forgotten in a since and they then know it is pointless in saying anything

hope it helps selinajones 28

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Director answered Wednesday January 5 2011, 4:05 pm:
Hey,

They know about your weak point and they're enjoying pushing your buttons. They want you to react, it's their intention. Just think about it - will this matter 5 years from now? Kill them with kindness, high school is only temporary anyway. Them calling you a slut does not make you a slut. No one knows the whole story but you, why bother with them? Chin up, you're awesome.

K

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solidadvice4teens answered Monday January 3 2011, 2:58 pm:
As soon as you forget about it so will they. Right now they're getting a rise out of you but sooner or later will move on to the next person.

Why do you care what they think? You really shouldn't put any stock in what they think or their reaction. Who the hell are they to judge you? In a few years you won't know them and they won't know you.

You'll undoubtedly rise above them and their mentality and the way they are now is where they'll still be at. What you learned from this are hard lessons you need to digest and think about.

Number one, keep personal stuff to yourself no matter what and who it is you think can keep their mouth shut. They can't and won't. You've witnessed that. So no matter the scenario whether you are pregnant or not is your business solely and not for discussion.

If they see you were pregnant later on that's okay but again not for discussion as you owe no explanation. Secondly, who are they to call you a slut? It could be a jealousy thing re: guys or the pot calling the kettle black.

If they call you a slut or a whore don't give them a reaction. Most importantly is that you are in control of your own life and need to take precaution and not get into situations where you have sex with random people at parties or otherwise.

You can't lose that reputation unless you always are sober and look out for yourself. The only way to "redeem yourself" or have a decent reputation for doing the right things is not to allow yourself back into this type of situation.

I would advise you to lay off sex period until older/wiser (I'm not judging) and with someone you care about as there's no way once you are on that path that you can fall into these scenarios where other people can judge. It's good sense to avoid being hurt.

Like I said earlier, learn from what happened, move on and forget what they are saying about you and consider the source of it. Once they know they can't get to you and that your life is pretty boring you will have no problems.

Getting in a fight with someone about it only makes the problem bigger. Be sure to keep personal things to yourself no matter who you think your friends are. Should have no trouble then.

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xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx answered Monday January 3 2011, 2:46 pm:
'Slut' is just a word. It doesn't determine the kind of person you are. As much as it hurts, if someone calls you it just ignore it. You're not a slut and you don't deserve to be bullied like this.

In high school things are always hard, and when you have sex it's a big deal because not everyone is doing it. Stick it out, things get so much better after school.

You can't make them forget what happened, but in time they will. Keep being the lovely person you are and ignore the rumours, the words and the bullies. Your sex life is none of their business and hopefully in some time they'll mature a little bit. Stay close to your friends and appreciate the people that don't call you names and make you feel horrible.

If things are really awful and unbearable, talk to someone. Talk to a teacher, or if you don't want to then go straight to your school councellor. It's nice to have someone just to talk to in person to let your feelings out to, and they would be able to help you a lot more.

I'm not sure how old you are but i'm guessing quite young. I can't tell you what to do, but please be careful. There are a lot of laws about how old you can be to have consensual sex, and if you're under that age limit and the person you're having sex with is older than it, it's considered statutory rape. The reason why they have these kinds of laws is because phsyically you shouldn't be having sex until a certain age as your body has not completely developed yet and it can cause a lot of problems, both physical and psychological.

What's happened has happened, you can't change that. You need to take a deep breath move on. Who cares what they call you, you're not what they think you are or what they say you are.

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