E-mail:
beckssohyes@aim.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
FloridaOccupation:
StudentAge:
15AIM:
beckss oh yesMember Since:
April 2, 2006Answers:
143Last Update:
December 30, 2007Visitors:
9788Favorite Columnists
Cux
xWACKYJACKIEx
orphans
TEENAGExHEARTS
DonutHolez567
softballchickx28
justaguy01
Main Categories:
Music
Friendship
Love Life
View All
about
Hello -- I'm Becky. I am here for you, to help you with anything you need help with. I'll try my hardest to answer your questions. It may not always be what you want to here, but know that I always put my time and effort into each answer. I'm not here to gain points from you, when you rate my advice... I don't long for a 5 as my rating. All I care about is helping you. It's ridiculous how people basically go on this website to see if what they is justified and right, and if advice columnists state otherwise, they rate your advice low. For example, a 13 year old girl asking how to give oral sex. First of all, it's not bad if someone warns you to put what you're doing into deep thought and consideration. They are just trying to give you their opinion on the situation. Isn't that the whole point of this website? Exactly. Anywhoooo, I'm 15 years old. Yes, 15. Too young? No! I'm very mature for my age. If you dont want to get advice from a 15 year old, then don't listen to it... However, I'm still going to give you my opinion :)
Florida -- Yes the hot sun, all the variety of people, and the beaches is all here. I love Miami, I've been here all my life and I dont intend on leaving any time soon. I've actually had no choice, since I've never even left the state :0 But that will chance this summer. :) Hmmm... (And it did!)
I go to High School and I am a Freshman. :0
What else? Well, I play the guitar and I have been playing since I was in 4th grade. I love everything about music -- it's my life. Seriously, I either have my iPod to jamm to, iHome, computer... I basically need music anywhere I go, because I really can't live without it. I mean I could, but it would be a very depressing and boring life 0.o
I've gone through so much drama the past few years of my life and I'm not even in highschool. Each time I go through a horrible situation, I learn from it for the next one. It's hard, but that's life. Everyone has drama in their life. Everyone has been betrayed. Everyone is going through or has gone through these stages of seeing who your true friends really are in the end. It's a hard journey, and I'm no where near done with it. But everyone goes through it. And if you have any problems or questions a long the way, I am here to help. :D
advice
well i just seem to feel more comfortable and easier to be friends with guys then girls. (by the way im a girl) i just feel like so shy when i try to be friends with girls and make friends with new girls and i dont know what to say. but it's so weird because most of my best friends are boys. like when i was little their was like 4 guys on my street and like one girl my age and i always wanted to play with the boys cause it seemed easieer. its just hard to be myself around girls. i'm definitely not a tomboy. i'm a typical teenage girl. i'm not talking about my sister or cousins, i mean just girls at school and stuff. what's my problem?
You dont have a problem. Its perfectyly normal that you feel more comfortable with guys. Girls are more bitchy and less trustworthy, most guys are good friends. But dont think that you cant be friends with girls too, you just have to be yourself and try to make new friends who are girls. good luck ;)
-beckss
I really don't know if I did the right thing breaking up with my boyfriend. Every one I talked to has said I've done the right thing. Well anyway, my ex had "friends" who called me names all the time right in front of him and he never did anything about. Another occurance was when one of his friends threw dry glue at right in front of him. Well he just watched it happen. I have no problem with standing up for myself. It's just, well I don't know that's why I'm asking the question.
You did the right thing =D
Dont be sad about it, you want a boyfriend to have your back, even though you can stand up for yourself, it would be nice knowing you can have someone to be on your side and be there for you.
-beckss
I'm 13/f. Whenever I sometimes pick on my sister or don't let her touch my stuff, my mom keeps calling me b*tch. Even when I do stuff that's not even that harsh, she still says I'm "b*tching" around. But I'm not a biatch! And I get hurt when my mom calls me so but I don't think she feels I am. What should I do?
Tell her how you feel. That it hurts knowing your mom is calling you that even though she might no mean it. It hurts to be called that by someone, let alone, your mom. Talk to her, whats the worst thing that could happen? She'll probaly feel bad doing that and might not of realized that it made you feel bad, so shell try and stop. hope i helped ;)
-beckss
so i recently started going out with this guy. and we go to 2 diffent skools so we see each other on the weekens. we started going out on the 26th of march btw.
so he came to my skool with me on monday to meet all my friends and for fun and stuff, and cuz he doesn't have skool.
so i have this really pretty friend and i thought they were flirting and she is alot prettier than me, seriously she is almost a model and shit.
and i think she likes him and i think he likes her back. and i really like him and i don't want her to steal him from me. or for him to like her while we are going out, cause that is weird. it would be like everything is fake and stuff. so i don't know what to do.
his friend said he wouldn't cheat or go for another girl, but i am not worryed about that. i am worryed about them liking each other.
what should i do?
i don't wanna scare him off or somehthing, maybe i am wrong? but i am pretty sure there was flirting and i am really sad. i cryed for ever and every song i heard made me sad. i feel like a baby. :(
The model girl is for sure not your friend, she needs to KNOW that he is yours! You should confront your boyfriend, its all about the communicating, hes your boyfriend! Dont worry though, the guy cant be scared off, only because youre curious if he likes another girl. Like you said, you dont want the relationship to be a fake one, so by confronting it will make it better, knowing for sure how he feels. good luck ;)
-beckss
16/F, I was talking to the guy that I liked and he started laughing at me when he found out that I don't drink and I've never had a boyfriend. He invited me to his party but I turned his invitation down cause I just didn't feel comfortable with the drinking, snobby ppl from my school and everything else . I felt that I really made a bad impression and just because I've never had a boyfriend and I don't drink alcohol, does this make me seem bad? and was it okay that I said no to him?
You did the right tihng turning down the party invite. The guy made fun of you for not having a boyfriend and for not drinking? Hes a loser. Many girls havent had a boyfriend because they havent found the "right" guy i guess, you shouldnt be ashamed of that. And not drinking is such a good thing. Seriously, your crush is a LOSER lol. Be proud of who you are =D
-beckss
ok my name is sarah I am 13 and I have a huge question, ok now listen I have had a crush on this guy for about 2 months tops and I have been friends with this grl named carisis for only like 2 years because we have never been friends before but now we are, anyway she knew I liked this guy and then she went behind my back at the park and MADE OUT WITH HIM and so yeah of course i got all mad at her and yeah I didnt talk to him but i did forgive her and we have still been friends but now i have a new boyfriend and she juked on him all the way down at a school dance and told my other friend not to tell ME! SO I am like who the hell can i trust anymore, is she really a friend cause i know that my friends who tell me everything and I can trust and have known for 8 years are my best friends but yeah oh and I did a really slutty thing too because of "her" and I feel really guilty cuz none of this wouldnt have happened if she told me that the "guy" was using me so she is basically acting like a self centered brat saying that i am screwed and everything ugh there is another big story behindall of this but yeah so please tell me if i should stay with my boyfriend and trust my friend anymore please!!!
From all the things you are saying shes doing makes her definatly NOT your friend. If she knew that you liked that guy, a true friend would actually try to get you too together instead of making out with him. Shes a slut. The other guy is your boyfriend! That is not a good friend. I would seriously confront her and then never talk to her again, because she did things to you more than once and tell her that, doing this made her lose you and she is going to lose all her other friends. good luck. =D
-beckss
okay.. im sorry if this is long. but i need help mucho bad.. and sooner than later.. so okay..me and my friend always fight.. and well me and him just got into a fight.. and it was because in the begining of the year me and my friend made a bet. it was about a dance.. and my friend said that i should go with him.. and i said no he wouldnt want to go with me. and i was like i bet you 200 dollars. and so yeah.. he found out about it. and well i guess he got mad.. and now he's like not talking to me.. and idk.. i really want to try and fix our friendship.. but im not sure if i can.. any ideas on what i should say.. and im gunna see him tommrow so it would help if the ideas where in sooner... but its okay if there not.. ill rate 5's for any serious answerss.. PLEASEEEE HELPP
thnxx!!
You shouldnt of done the bet in the first plave but i mean it meant no harm so he cant be mad at you forever. You should seriously confront him. Its call "forgive and forget". He cant hold a grudge on you forever, thats not right. That was the past and youre truly sorry for it, right? Well tell him that. It is a fixable friendship if he forgives you instead of being mad at you when you already apologized, which you should do. good luck ;)
-beckss
Things have been really not too good lately. I'm 15, female and I know this is the time when everybody changes. But OK I have 2 BFFs - like, I have other best/close friends but these 2 are like my best best friends if that makes sense - well anyway, I am not too fond of change and seems like everything is changing. Last week was our spring break, these 2 girls and I usually would have done everything together, but we didn't hang out that much by ourselves, only in bigger groups and only sometimes. We don't feel like BFFs anymore. And another thing, one of them is switching schools next year to go to a private school, so IDK. Can someone just help me, explain to me whats going on? The one girl, Michelle, was kinda being mean to me and they don't seem to tell me stuff anymore. Should I just forget about them and hang with other friends? But they're my BEST friends and I will miss that. Also, not Michelle but the other one, her dad was just diagnosed with cancer so maybe thats making her act weird and I want to be there for her but Michelle has no excuse. I'll rate 5s for anything that helps, sorry if its long and confusing! But tomorrow in Italian we're supposed to pick partners for this big project and Michelle's in my class so I don't know how that will go .. so just help me please! Oh, and I haven't talked to them about it and I don't think we could really TALK about it. But, anyway, Thanks!
They are your best friends, you have to talk to them about it. Communicating makes your friendship ALOT better. Like you said, the other girl may be going through alot since her dad was diagnosed with cancer, so be there for her. As for michelle, talk to her, whats the worst thing that could happen? seriously. You should get closer with your other friends too. But you may think now that michelle and the other girl are your best friends, but people change. I know you probaly dont want to here that but its really hard to stay friends with someone forever. I just lost my all time best friend (so i thought) and she turned out to be so different because she changed.. theres nothing you can do if they do change, its there loss if they stop being friends with you, and youll have other friends you get closer with. Maybe youre lucky.. that youll be BFF's with those girls forever, all you need to do is talk to them. good luck ;)
-beckss
I'm confused why people come here seeking advice and then when they don't like the advice they send horrible feedback.
Just because you don't like an answer doesn't mean it's wrong or bad. Don't people ask for advice to get all the angles and then make an informed choice?
how do should we handle mean feedback?
ignore it. Its not the worst thing in the world but its rude. If you know that the advice youre giving isnt easy to hear, tell them "im really sorry but its true" or "sorry,i know you dont want to hear this but...". If that doesnt work just ignore it. ;)
-beckss
Well me and my two best friends just to let you know how close we are: we are like crazy and we are always together, i mean i love hanging out with them and everything. Out of our class we are definately the prettiest and most fun to be around. People throughout our school know us as the BIG not cause we are big but because of our initials. I mean we agree on the same guys and everything i swear we are related but we arent. So here is the problem: We went to an FFA conventionand we were all totally looking for guys i mean what else would we be doing. But see Lindsey is the only one that has a cell phone so we always use her number and well of course they all like Lindsey right away because they got HER phone number but then if they are hott we like all fall in love with them but like i am usually the one who doesnt really care. And well this time the guy is calling me all the time and i think i am starting to like him but i dont want to tell my best friends about it because who knows what would happen. i mean i want to tell them but they are always saying no he likes me and they are fighting over who they likes between them and they act like just because i never argue i dont like him but secretly i do and i think he likes me too. but what i want to know is should i tell them that i like them and hope that they support me or should i let them find out on their own. but i would feel really bad about not telling them everything because we always say everything that happens and i dont want it to seem like i am lying to them! help? and if it matters i really really like this guy
You seriously should tell them. Come on, they are your best friends. Tell them how much you like him and you think he likes you too. That, you dont want them to interfere with you too because its happened before and this guy you really like. They are your best friends, if they find out about this and it wasnt from you im sure they will be pissed and it will be even harder to explain when they confront you. Just get it over with, and it will be alot easier and better by them finding out from you instead of someone else. hope i helped =D
-beckss
ok im 17 female....I have a really good friend Bianca and we met through this guy Rey who played us at the same time...anyways i broke up with him and she stayed with him...the thing is me and him have been doing things behind her back because he is really in love with me and i amm still sooo very in love with him...He told me he would brake up with her just to be with me...Question WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?? I mean she loves him soo much and she would never talk to me again if i went out with him and he broke up with her for me...But i dont know who to pick over who he makes me so happy and he is like the love of my life.. What do i doo??She asks me every day if i have talked to him and i have to lie t her every day soo i dont know NEED ADVICE thnx i will rate high is answers are decent and i will give u my feedback wel thanx whoever wants to help please be atleast 15 or older thnx buh bye
Dominican Grl~
Ok well this guy Rey sounds like hes playing you again. By telling you all these things, "ill brake up with her for you"? He played you once, hes probaly playing you again. Dont risk your friendship with this guy who might be playing you again. How do you know he really loves you? How do you know hes telling you the truth? You dont. Its hard for someone to change, and this guy doesnt sound like he did. Hes already cheating on his girlfriend for you, if you went out with him, hed probaly do the same to you and youd lose your really good friend. Dont take that risk, its not worth it. good luck ;)
-beckss
well my name is meghan amd i am 14 years old and well i know that many of you out there have heard of MySpace wel i have one and well i i like this one guy named rafael but he has a girlfriend :(! which breaks my heart whenever i see them together but at school they never hang out with eachother and well affter school on frieday i turned my computer on and went to MySpace.com and sent him a message saying that i have liked him for a really long time and i also stated that i would be a better girlfriend than his girlfriend that he has now. well it is not my fault that i like him a lot. well i sent that message to him on friday and now it is sunday and he has been online the whole weekend and he has not replied to that message.and i dont know if he told he told his girlfriend because she asked me on to be her friend so i said yes but.well what i would like to know is if that message i sent to him was a bad thing?or is it right for me to express myself or what?well please help me i really like him a lot!
Its not your fault you like him, but he has a girlfriend. The thing is, i dont think it was a good idea sending him a message on the computer. 1) he can just ignore it and youll never know if he read it or not. 2) he can show everyone including his gf and i dont think thats what you want. im sorry to break it down to you. maybe you should confront him if he still doesnt reply, because whats the worst thing that can happen? dont worry. ;)
-beckss
Okat so i haave like a lot of problems and i need your help.
First one- I was at a school dance. my parents are rlly protective if i dance with people n stuff..well theres this boy, lets say Kyle, and he snuck in to our dance. he is in 10 th grade. he skipped 2grades though so heshould be in 8th. well, he asked me to dance so i said yes. n we danced for what, 30 seconds? n my friends all saw me. n i guess one of them got in the car and was like OMG my friend *me* danced with this rlly hot 10th grader. her mom spazzed out and called my mom. i said i didnt because rlly, what is 30 seconds? n now my mom n dad believe me.. but i talked to my friend who told her mom n i told her to lie to her mom.. n now her mom is like well all these chaperones saw me. i mean seriously, how could like 5 chaperones see me in 30 seconds.. come on! do u think her mom will call mine again?
Second Problem- So at my birthday party a couple of weeks ago, 4 girls were completely being mean and just hung out in my closet like the WHOLE time bad mouthing me and the other 3 girls. before my party, the 4 girls hated eachother.. n now they r having a party tonight... n they didnt even BOTHER inviting me.. n they talk about it in front of me too...
sorry this was so long. i am just sooo stressed out n i rlly didnt know who to go to..=[
1. Like you said, you were only dancing for 30 seconds! Who cares if your friends mom calls your parents again, she should mind her own business and also your parents believe you so theres no need to worry.
2. You dont need those girls. They have no life and they wasted there whole time at your party bad mouthing you? pathetic. Who cares if they didnt invite you, would you want to be invited after they did that to you? Forget about them. They have no life. hah!
-beckss
this year, i feel that i have started to change. I notice that my friends are best friends with other people and it's harder for me to understand them. We hardly talk like we used to and everyone seems to not find me as "interesting" as before. what's going on with me?
Nothing is going on with you. This happens to everyone, seriously. Dont worry, you grow apart from alot of friends you thought youd be friends with forever. You should make new friends and have a good time. Dont think that its all you with this subject, its everyone. People change. Dont worry, soon youll make other friends that youre going to be close with and they will definatly find you "interesting". Good luck ;)
-beckss
OK me and my bf were going great when we first started going out, and i mean it was like perfect, then he started acting like really different and its starting to bother me becasue he is acting like hes not interested in me or that i like dont matter anymore, i like need to know if i should break up with him, ask him wuts going on(i already did and i got a shitty asnwer)or like just live with it. i mean i really like him i just dont know wut to do.
Tell your boyfriend and really tell him how you feel, maybe somethings wrong with him but if he all of a sudden changed and gives you another "shitty answer" then break up with him. Seriously, he should treat you right by acting like you matter to him; but maybe something is wrong just talk to him again before you do anything. good luck.
-beckss
All my life, every best friend I had has eventually left me. Moving away, losing touch, or a terrible fight has broken us apart. All I've ever wanted was one good friend who would never leave me.
This is my year so far: Met a girl in my new school, became best friends for half a year until she left me for a guy. My old best friend and I fought so he ignored me until we stopped talking. My other best friend became sort of slutty and we stopped talking.
What can I do to find a person I can have a lasting relationship with? How can I tell if our friendship will survive?
Youre asking me to give advice telling you what you can do to find a person you can be friends with forever? You be yourself. Nothing else but you. Dont act like something youre not to please someone in order to be best friends with them. You cant tell if your friendship will survive, ive gone through many things with my "friends" who i thought id be friends with forever but seriously one day they are your best friend the next they talk shit and you know do everything to hurt you. Friends come and go. Maybe youll be lucky and find someone youll be friends with forever, and i really hope you do. Hang in there ;)
-beckss
I have been sick the last two days and haven't gone to school. I heard from one of my other friends that at lunch my friend Becca was talking about me and not saying very nice things, though he wouldn't say specifically what she said. The thing is, Becca nags on me a lot, and she's kind of hypocritical. She thinks she is a lot better than the rest of us, but I don't think it's a conscious thought. She called me last night, and I talked to her like normal, and she was actually nice, and we were laughing and stuff. I wanted to bring it up, but I hate fights and I don't want to make things awkward when I do go back to school and have to sit next to her at lunch. Now, I won't lie, I've nagged on her a few times too, but it seems like lately she is being more hypocritical than usual, and talking behind my back instead of telling me to my face. Everything that I've been upset with her about I've talked calmly and to HER, not others. I'm just afraid that if I bring it up and ask her what she has to say to me that she will feel attacked (she is a little sensitive). What should I do??
You should confront her, even if it means that shell get mad and ignore you when you didnt do anything but confront her. The person that should be mad is you, not her, you dont have to "tippy toe" around her just to make sure you dont get her mad because if shes talking shit she needs to know you know because then shell do it even more and get away with it. If she denys it, ask your friend who told you she talks shit, or someone else who you are friends with, but just make sure you dont leave this subject alone because she shouldnt be talking shit about you in the first place. good luck ;)
-beckss
Ok... sorry its so long but i really need help.
so I had this really close friend for about 2 years now. But recently I got really mad at her and told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore.
She kept saying I was lying about certain people who were my friends and lying about stuff I did and turing my best friend against me. Then I lied once to her... So i wouldn't hurt her feelings... and she automatically thought that everything I had made her realize weren't lies... really were.
I have never lied to her except that one time... and now my other friend treats me weird cause this mutal friend keeps tellin her stuff about me.
She pisses me off SOOOO bad... I would tell her something that was really important to me and shes laugh and quickly go onto herself for a long period of time or just roll her eyes. And she was always really moody and jelous.
And now I've been hearing shes talking about me behind my back all the time and in the classes I have with her she's always staring at me. My friend sent me a convo she had with my ex-friend where that girl was talking about me.
So I IMed this girl on AIM... and she told me she doesn't talk about me and shes got better things to do than that. And I had proof she was talking about me.
So now I'm worried I'm going to lose my friends because of her... and she's a lying bitch herself... NOT me
SOMEONE HELP!!!
Wow, i am going through the exact same thing! Except, i didnt lie to her or anything i absolutely did nothing to her and she just one day decided to turn everyone against me by saying im a bad friend where then she admitted i wasnt.. i know this seems like im talking about me but i have a point. Ok well you dont deserve someone like that and for the other people who are being manipulated by her and are actually convinced that you are doing all the things she said, they arent good friends. Make new friends and it will all be good, thats what i did. If anyone of your "friends" come up to you, tell them the real story and its their choice to believe you, if they dont, eff them! You know who your real friends are and that girl that is turing everyone against you is definatly not one of them! dont worry, everything will be fine. ;)
-beckss
What are some things you can talk about with your friend? Just conversation starters that normal people would talk about. Nothing like the weather, something that 15 year old girls would talk about. I will rate for good answers! Thanks In Advance!
There are many things you can talk about.. boys, memories, the mall, music, tv shows, friends, movies, inside jokes (if any), upcoming events, holidays, vacations. It basically can be about anything that you and your friends like.
-beckss
I Am Sixteen, Female. I Feel Like My Best Friend And I Are Growing Apart. She Doesn't Seem Like She Likes Talking To Me Sometimes. And Sometimes We Don't Know What To Talk About. How Can I Bring Us Back Closer? I Will Rate Fives For Good Answers. Thank You So Much!
get together, you know.. hang out and catch up on everything! Theres many places you guys can go maybe places that bring back old memories like if you guys went there before and alot happened there < thats already something you can talk about! Good luck ;)
-beckss