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My friend is talking about me...
I have been sick the last two days and haven't gone to school. I heard from one of my other friends that at lunch my friend Becca was talking about me and not saying very nice things, though he wouldn't say specifically what she said. The thing is, Becca nags on me a lot, and she's kind of hypocritical. She thinks she is a lot better than the rest of us, but I don't think it's a conscious thought. She called me last night, and I talked to her like normal, and she was actually nice, and we were laughing and stuff. I wanted to bring it up, but I hate fights and I don't want to make things awkward when I do go back to school and have to sit next to her at lunch. Now, I won't lie, I've nagged on her a few times too, but it seems like lately she is being more hypocritical than usual, and talking behind my back instead of telling me to my face. Everything that I've been upset with her about I've talked calmly and to HER, not others. I'm just afraid that if I bring it up and ask her what she has to say to me that she will feel attacked (she is a little sensitive). What should I do??
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You should confront her, even if it means that shell get mad and ignore you when you didnt do anything but confront her. The person that should be mad is you, not her, you dont have to "tippy toe" around her just to make sure you dont get her mad because if shes talking shit she needs to know you know because then shell do it even more and get away with it. If she denys it, ask your friend who told you she talks shit, or someone else who you are friends with, but just make sure you dont leave this subject alone because she shouldnt be talking shit about you in the first place. good luck ;)
-beckss
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well becca ive been through the same thing when i was a freshman(i am now a softmore)my friend acted so good around me and then talked about me behind my back i know teh feeling and yesterday my so called frend vicky said i was a brat and you should not be afraid of her this is what i did to help myslef: i stayed close to the girl but you NEVER let your gaurd down EVER you will just be more vonerbl to her and she will be able to attack your feelings but if u really want to know why she did it just ask her:" i heard form some people at school you were saying mean things about me i dont want you to feel bad i just wanan clarify that it isnt true because i want us to stay friends.... and make it stay nice and sweet liek you said you dont want to make her feel attacked so take it from those two methods i hope you two stay frends forever
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Talk to her online. It's not violent and you're not actually talking to her face. Since she's sensitive then she won't get as much feeling from AIM then from actually hearing your voice. If she's one of your really good friends then you should be able to talk to her simply and explain everything she does and how you're feeling. Explain how it hurts you and that if she really wants to be your best friend, she shouldn't be saying crap about your behind your back if you're sick, because that's definately not best friend material. If she keeps doing it after you talk to her, sorry, but she's just not worth being your friend.
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With something like this, it will never be an easy situation but when confronting her about it, you can make it as casual as possible. Rather than going in all guns blazing (so to speak), ask her if you can have a private word with her.
When you get a minute alone with her, say to her that you've gotten word that she was saying some unpleasent things about you while you were away and you were a little hurt by it. Admit that it's not uncommon and you've done it too (although you might want to add 'probably' to that, so as not to give the can more worms)but that in future, if you do or say something she doesn't agree with, you'd rather she told you to your face so you can sort it out because saying things behind each others backs makes it far harder to have a trusting friendship.
She should respond positively to this, as long as you say it in a calm way and don't sound at all agressive. After that, drop the matter and try to go back to normal with each other. If you both truly do agree not to bitch behind backs any longer, there should be no further problems.
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