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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)
advice
Is it bad to just hook up with someone even though you're not with them? It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I just need reassurance that it's okay. Please let me know! Thank you. ♥
I don't think it's ok, but sadly, in today's drastically changing world it is becoming socially acceptable. There are a lot of risks involved with it that you should consider. Hooking up with the same person a few times can sometimes lead to having feelings for them which will obviously complicate things. Having a lot of partners greatly increases your chances of getting an STD. That'll stick with you the rest of your life. When you finally do want to get into a serious relationship one of several things could happen. Nobody will want you because they think you're a slut and will just cheat on them, you may be so used to hooking up that you actually will cheat, and telling your partner about all the people you hooked up with in the past will be very embarassing. Top reason not to do it, you will regret it in the future, almost guaranteed. The choice is yours, but I think that since you are already feeling that it's wrong, you shouldn't do it.
so you know the three words that can change a relationship forever right. I love you is so big it can change a relationship forever. Well my ex-boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time and i told him i loved him too. But then the next day he broke up with me, He said he had to many things going on in his life. what should i do should i believe that he loves me or not. please help. thanx.
Saying "I love you" isn't as big of a deal as people make it. Love's an emotion, no different from happiness or sadness. It can change. It can even go away. Maybe he said it and afterwards wasn't sure if it was really true. Maybe he got scared. I can't tell you if he loves you or not. You can't know either. Only he knows. My guess is that he scared himself when he said it and isn't sure what he should do next. Like you, he's making a big deal about it when it really isn't. Talk to him. Comfort him. Tell him how feeling love doesn't change anything. You're still you and he's still him. You can help him get through what he is feeling and make him realize that it's not scary, it's exciting. I think he'll come back to you after a little while. Try not to get too upset about it just yet. I wish you lots of luck and I hope that you can get back together! :)
Is there like an ebay headquarters or something where i can report something because i bought a phone on ebay and payed for it and i have not received it! I also have not gotten my money back! Where can I report this because it keeps telling me to contact the seller but I already did
Check this page out. It should help you. It explains exactly what to do.
http://pages.ebay.com/help/tp/index.html
I hope this gets worked out!
when I was little doctore said I will have Sinus problem when I get older. so I did last summer Had alot of headhaces. and now this summer and I having a cough that not go away last 4 months. I don't smoke I never will. I do have alot of allergy plus I did take medince help not cough alot. but its not like loud cough. more like try get air oru something. i don't have ashma or brointa I can' spell it. but how ever my chest be sore from coughing but i never get fever or sick, just like cough its so annoying now and then.. my mom think maybe be a nerve cough but i not stress over anything. I mean right now i am 21 years old and lving at home, I dn't drive becouse m disbities and that I do have a job I work at a mall, i want to go cummity collage or online course but i need get money for it. sorry i change subject but maybe could be nerve cough but i am postive about alot things and plus its could be my sinus? sorry this maybe confusing.. if it is let me know i try explane it other way. i hope someoen understand..
My sister had a similar problem a few years ago. Get checked out by a doctor again. I think you might benefit from getting an inhaler. It is possible that coughing is more or less of a habit that you have developed, but since you say you do it to get air, it sounds like an inhaler may help. In any case, you'll need to get checked out by a doctor. Good luck! :)
HEy i have Itunes now and my parents are saying its getting to expensive caus ei download like 10 songs a week....so i was thinking of dowloading Bearshare.. can any1 give me like a reviw of it and tell me if its good or not... does it give me viruses??Does it slow your computer down? Just like any information on it and is it like worth even dowloading it?
I haven't had any severe problems with Bearshare. Yes, it makes your computer much slower. This is because in order for it to be free, you have to download a form of spyware, called Zango, along with it for it to work.
What I do to keep my computer from slowing down too much, is run my spyware removal program, Ad-Aware, every few days. Ad-Aware picks up Zango and deletes it for you. The next time you run Bearshare, it obviously isn't going to work since it knows that Zango isn't on your computer anymore. However, right then and there it asks if you want to download it again. Say yes, and you're good to go in 10 seconds or less.
If you do choose to use Bearshare I'd recommend you do something like that. Make sure you have some sort of virus scanner as well. It doesn't have to be a good one. I use AVG Free and it catches any viruses that I accidentally download using Bearshare. It has only happened once, so Bearshare isn't that threatening to your computer.
If you're not willing to go to all this trouble, don't get Bearshare. If it's not that big of a deal to you, go for it. :)
i was just reading the advice you gave to the girl who thought she was pregnant. i just want to say that i love the advice you gave her and everything you wrote to her.
Thanks! It's always great to get positive reinforcement in words other than in numbers. :)
I'm going to use this question as a way to explain how the newly created forums work for the benefit of anyone that reads this.
There's a new feature on the site that isn't quite operational yet, but it allows you to post comments, questions about a particular columnist's personal life, or anything not having to do with advice, on that columnist's personal forum. The web address for mine is this:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=25421
If you want to find someone else's forum, for the time being, what you have to do is first find their ID number. It took forever for me to figure this out but here goes an attempt at a good explanation. My ID number is the number at the end of that link (25421). To find someone else's ID number, including your own, go to their page and click on the link you would normally click to ask them a question. The space for asking a question will come up, but don't ask anything. Look at the web address to the page you are on. That user's ID number is the number at the end (after the u=). Substitute that ID number for my ID number in the link that I gave you and you'll be able to get to anyone's forum!
You can also get to my forum using the link at the bottom of my profile. Making a link like this for yourself is kind of complicated, but I'll try to explain that too. Type this formula:
less than sign, the letter a, space, the letters href, equal sign, apostrophe, the web address to your forum, apostrophe, greater than sign, what you want the link to say, less than sign, backslash, the letter a, greater than sign
Once you've got all that typed out, copy it into your profile and you should be good to go!
Since these forums are still a work in progress, all of this could change. Right now, columnists won't be notified when someone posts on their forum, so if they haven't figured it all out yet, they won't even see what you wrote if you post something for them. Once the forums are up and running, I believe that everything already on them will be erased, so whatever you say to someone now, won't be there anymore when this happens.
I check my forum all the time because I think it's oober cool. ;)
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. We have both agreed to stay virgins until we are married .. but it seems like everytime we are together, we end up fooling around. I'm 16 and he's 17 .. but I'm worried that we are going to end up being so consumed with sexual things, that we won't be able to connect on the level that we used to. He is my best friend, and I love him very much - I plan on talking to him about this, I'm just not sure that I know what to say. Is this a problem? And if so, what do I say? I know he still loves me, and he'll be fine if we don't do sexual things, but it just HAPPENS.
Being sexual isn't a bad thing. Taking it to far is a bad thing. You're not taking it too far. Waiting until marriage for intercourse is a great plan. People view sex negatively only to discourage people that have little self control from doing something stupid. It's actually very healthy and natural to express yourselves to each other sexually. There's nothing wrong with it at all. It's not going to affect how you connect. Just view sex as an activity that is totally separate from the emotional part of your relationship. Sure it may be tied to positive emotions, but sex isn't going to help you learn about each other and it's not going to help you grow together. It just feels good and nothing more. The best part is, that's okay. As long as you have good self control, which it seems you do, you will be just fine. Be sexual to your hearts content. :)
ive been confused for awhile now. im still in love with my ex. i cant help it, he is everything i look for in a guy. well i like this other guy alot too. i was found out he is goin to ask me out and idk what to do. i know he would treat me great but i still love my ex
Give this new guy a fair chance. You'll always care for your ex. That doesn't mean you can't ever love anybody else again. Maybe this other guy is even better than your ex. You'll never know unless you date him. Don't miss your chance with him by living in the past. You and your ex are over probably never to get back together again. You've got nothing to lose! Good luck. :)
ok, so, yesterday, somehow, i asked my crush out. he's my guy best friend, and while we were talking, i just kinda slipped it in there. I ACTUALLY ASKED HIM OUT! this morning when i woke up, it seemed like a dream. but it wasn't. after i asked him out, he replied by saying, "i need time to think". how should i take that? what does that mean? if you asked somebody out and said that, what would you have thought? maybe i'm looking into this too far, but i can't help but do it, cuz i'm so nervous and stuff.
please help!
Yeah, you're looking into it too far. :)
It doesn't have a hidden meaning. He means exactly what he said. He wants some time to think about it. You probably caught him offguard and he didn't want to jump to a decision before thinking it through. He's probably thinking about the same things that you thought about before asking him out. Give him as much time as he needs and try not to worry so much. I know it'll be hard, but be as calm as you can. :)
I hope he says yes!
Okay.
I have a girlfriend, we have been together for a little over 13 months.
Just recently, she has been telling me that she's really scared that she is going to lose me and she is scared that she is going to get hurt again.
I don't know what to do.
I am scared that her not wanting to lose me, will cause her to breakup with me.
It doesnt really make since but thats how it is.
I keep telling her that she will not lose me.
I keep telling her how much in love with her I am, and I know she feels the same way.
I have asked her to please trust me with her heart, and I will never leave.
I just don't know what to say to make her stop being so scared. I don't know what to say to make her stop worrying.
PLEASE HELP ME TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY!
pleasepleaseplease.
Thankyou so much.
Everybody has doubts sometimes. Especially girls. Since girls focus too much on feelings sometimes, they tend to misinterpret what they are actually feeling and take it way out of context and proportion. In any case, it's not the actual problem, but how it is perceived that is the issue. She is being very open and honest with you. It's scary to know that that's what she is thinking, but she trusts you enough to share these feelings with you, which is good. Be happy that you're in the loop instead of completely clueless. Having doubts like this is usually just a phase. If you can get her through it, your relationship will be just fine. You're doing a great job handling it so far. My suggestion is to not only reassure her, but to compliment her a lot. Most of the time when people have doubts like this, it is partly because they feel bad about themselves, which leads to not feeling like they deserve the person they are with. You can't love another until you can love yourself. Don't overdo it though. If you go way above and beyond, she's going to think more and more about how wonderful you are and how less wonderful she is. Way above and beyond would be buying her things, spending extra time with her, or doing anything that is way out of the ordinary for you. For example don't write her a poem if you normally wouldn't. Basically all you have to do is share the positive feelings that you have about her. Tell her she's pretty, tell her she's smart, and back those things up! Don't just tell her she's pretty. Tell her why. Don't just tell her she's smart, tell her what she's smart about. Be creative! With a little strength and confidence you can get her through this. Good luck! :)
You said that there was a book with ideas to start good intimate conversations with guys, but i dont think i want to buy it. Do you mind giving me a few of the ones that really worked for u? thanks!
Alright here's the deal. I lost the copy that I had of the book for the second time (yeah...) and I'm throwing a little tantrum about it and refusing to get it again. I would send you the entire thing if I could, but sadly, since I don't have it anymore and am a little low on money at the moment, I can't. Sorry.
Umm, It's been awhile, but I'll tell you what I can remember. The questions that my boyfriend and I liked talking about were mostly the ones about favorites. Not just your favorite food and your favorite color. Even though those are fun too, you can get into things like your favorite birthday, the best present you ever got, the best day you ever had, and things like that. It's easy to be creative with that and you can go on for hours telling stories about your favorite things. Have a question and answer session with him. You ask a question and he'll ask one back. Another good part of the book was questions about the future. What you want to be, how many kids, pets, and all that. What attracts you to the other person was a fun section. Emotionally and physically. Religion is a touchy subject sometimes, but it can bring hours of conversation. Current debates like abortion, death penalty, and gay marriage are also good for conversation. I've found that "would you rather" questions are great too if they're hard. :)
If you can find someone that has one of the books and will let you borrow it, that would be great. Having a book with a list of questions makes it easy to keep the conversation going. You don't have to think up all the questions yourself.
ya so basically i had no clue what topic to put this under. but i have this thing were i will be in a deep deeeeep sleep and if someone comes in my room or cracks the door open say my mom or my bro and i will pop out of a deep sleep jump and just look at them... its weird because im not meaning to wake up its just a reatcion and its also weird because everyone in my house is mad quiet when it comes to people sleeping but it doesnt matter if they dont make a noise i will pop up out of a deep sleep and just look at them.. and i can also tell if someone is staring at me because i can be in shcool doin what i gotta do and ill just stop doin what im doin and look up right at the person thats staring at me. and it could be someone right on the other side of the room and i kno who is starin at me out of like 20 people. One last thing, and if im in my room up and everythin just chillin in my chair that has its back faced to the door, my bro will try an sneak up on me and before he can open the door all the way i will turn around and catch him..
lol i kno this may sound dumb but im just askin if this weird or just a normal reation that most ppl have???
I wouldn't say it's weird. It's not completely normal but a lot of people have these types of reactions to things. You seem to be a little above average in observing and sensing things. That's good. :)
I need some things that I can bring up with my boyfriend when we talk online. Like so that our conversations can me more intimate. Thanks!!
If you're willing to spend money, there are tons of books out there that can help with this. I've used "1000 Questions for Couples" which is an online book. It cost about $20 and it was amazing. Worth every penny. If you're interested in this, Amazon.com is a good place to start looking for something.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/102-4139441-6198564?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=questions+couples&Go.x=14&Go.y=10&Go=Go
Good luck!
I love the song "My man" by Beyonce. I once listened to it on myspace and now I tried searching for it to listen to it up there again but I couldn't find it. I don't have an mp3 player. But I really want to listen to this song. If anyone had anyplaces that I could go online to listen to it for free please let me know.
I think the problem is that Beyonce doesn't sing a song called "My Man". I could be wrong, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Maybe it's called something else or is by a different artist. Try not to trust what's on Myspace too much. A lot of the time the songs aren't uploaded by the artist, but instead by people that don't know what they're talking about. Good luck in finding it. :)
Oh, scratch that. "My Man" was by Destiny's Child before they broke up. So Beyonce sings it, but you're not going to be able to find it with Beyonce as the artist. :-P
I wasn't sure whether to put this under "Parenting" or "Sex" but seeing as how this category seems to be more popular, I put it under here to get as many possible responses.
Hi, i'm 15/female and i'm a little worried about a possible pregnancy. Any help at all would be greatly appreciated, but i'm asking you nicely, please do not judge or critisize me. If I am pregnant, which I have a strong feeling in my heart that I am, i'm going to take care of the baby with the help of my boyfriend, friends, and parents. All of whom are very supportive of all decisions I have and will make in the future. I still don't know how i'm going to tell them, but i'll found that out later on. I'm feeling very bittersweet about this whole episode, but I have decided i'm keeping the baby if I happen to be. What I need to know is if you guys think i'm pregnant as well?
I've been on birth control (ortho cyclen) for a little over 6 months now. I've had no problems other than the occasional missed pill that so far i've always taken the next day. My period has been a little of schedule here lately, sometimes it comes a day or two late, but I always experience light spotting on the days I don't start. I've recently been in the hospital do to a urinary tract infection and my doctor prescribed me amoxicillin. My boyfriend of a little over a year now are sexually active, and we have been for about 7 or 8 months now. I just recently quit taking my antibiotic, and I noticed as I was throwing the pill bottle out (my mom always gives me my medicine in the morning, so I never really looked at the bottle) that there was a warning saying "This medication may decrease the effectiveness of birth control. Use a backup method" I mentioned this to my boyfriend and we both freaked out; We don't use any other method because i've been on birth control since we've started having sex. And yes, he does ejaculate inside of me, everytime. To make matter even worse, while I was on my antibiotic, I missed a pill and didn't retake it. [I dropped it one morning while taking my other medication (zoloft, claritin) and couldn't find it. I still haven't]. Dumb on my part, I never told my boyfriend this. I was afraid he would become upset with me. And in case you were wondering, I don't plan on telling him. We did some research and discovered that the medicine I was on only decreased the effectiveness by a small amount. I'm still very worried though, because of the missed pill. It's way to late to use any emergency contraception, so if I am pregnant, i'm going to have to deal. I absolutely will not terminate the pregnancy! I am 100% against that. My boyfriend obviously doesn't want to have a baby. He asked me if I would get an abortion if I was pregnant. When I said no, he became upset but dropped the subject entirely. We haven't talked about it since. My period is now 3 days late, and I am pretty sure it's not due to stress. I'm perfectly ok with the possible pregnancy. I'm a little upset as to how mine and my boyfriend's family will take it, but other than that i'm fine. I've had some mild cramping, but no other symptoms or signs of pregnancy. I still haven't taken a pregnancy test, if I don't start in a week, I plan on asking my boyfriend to get me one. We'll take it from there. But basically, i'm just looking for advice.
The only judgemental thing I said was that you weren't ready for the responsibilities of a child and I apologize for that. I don't know that you aren't. I assumed and that was wrong. The other things I said were in the form of questions. I wasn't implying anything. I don't know the answers to those questions, only you do. I put them in the form of questions in order not to be judemental. I left it up to you to fill in the blanks. If you didn't know everything about your birth control I would want you to learn. If you do, that's great, move on to the next question. You were in a complicated situation and obviously couldn't provide all relavant information about yourself. I wanted to cover as much as possible. I realize my answer sounded very harsh and I apologize for that too. It's hard to convey emotions in writing. It seems that only my strong feelings about sex at a young age and teen pregnancy showed through. Anyways, I would hope that you got some pleasure out of sex. I never said that you did it for that reason. It's very clear that you love your boyfriend and want to express this sexually. That's not a bad thing, just as long as you realize that you are dealing with strong forces other than love, namely biology. Sure you can miss a pill. I'm not saying that you're not allowed to. I was pointing out that when you do, it increases the chances of ineffectiveness. Don't knowingly miss one. Take the one for the next day to be as safe as you can. Many children that are raised by young mothers are very happy. Many young mothers are better mothers than some older women. Your mother was pregnant at a young age and that's fine, but that doesn't mean that it's the best situation to be in. I don't think she would want you to have to go through that like she did. Everything usually turns out okay, but there's no reason to put yourself through that extra stress when you don't have to. Children of young mothers do face certain challenges that a lot of other children don't have to face. They can get through it and they'll be fine, but they didn't choose to have a young mother, like that young mother chose to risk having them. I'm glad that you're not pregnant. I know that you just went through a very stressful time and I, again, am sorry for not being more sensitive to that and making my advice sound a little nicer. I don't think that you were looking just for facts. You asked for advice. Factual advice would only have included how birth control works and maybe an estimate on the chances that you were pregnant. You know all that stuff. What you needed was advice. My advice, in a nutshell, was to think. Think a lot. Think about your choices, your life, and about how you might prevent this from happening again in the future. I also wanted you to have a very serious talk with your boyfriend about this topic. Now that the scare is over, it should be easier. Find out how he felt about what could have happened. Talk to him about his views on abortion and share your own. This conversation will help you learn a lot about each other and will probably bring you even closer together. I can see how none of this came through from what I said, especially in your state of high stress and your admiraly fiery personality. The one thing that troubles me though, is how confident you are in your relationship with your boyfriend. "And he would never leave me under any and all circumstances" is a very strong statement. Too strong. I know you were angry, but I hope that you are a little more realistic about your relationship with him than that. If you look back, I'm not suggesting anything about your relationship. I can see that it is very strong and that any circumstance that would cause him to leave you would have to be a pretty big circumstance. It is possible though, that you won't be with him forever. What if you were pregnant with his child and he left you? That would be 1000 times worse than if you weren't. I'm not implying that he would, but what if he did? The possibility is always there, however small it may be. Only he can know that and I mean, hey, even if he would never purposely leave you, he could die or something. As I said before, think a lot about everything that just happened. I wish you luck in your future. I really admire the fire you threw back at me and I actually thank you for it. I need some criticism every once in awhile and you did a great job. Thank you. :)
I'd like to add that if you miss a pill it's a big deal. Don't take it so lightly. If you ovulate on the day you miss your pill, taking a pill the next day will not reverse that. Whenever you miss a pill you need to abstain from sex at least until you get your period or use another form of protection (keep taking the pills of course though). I understand that if you were to become pregnant that you are confident that everyone would be supportive and such. That's very good. However, even though people would be supportive and even though everything would turn out okay, having a baby will completely change your life. There's no preventing that. You'd be alright, but what about your child? Would you be able to raise them? Would you drop out of school? What about your career? How much pressure would this be putting on your parents? On your boyfriend? Is your relationship with him really that strong? Don't you want a baby of yours to have the best life possible? Can that happen if you are living with your parents, going to school, not married...? If you don't completely understand all of the possible consequences of sex, you shouldn't be having it. From now on you need to be much more responsible. I mean, you dropped a pill on the floor and couldn't find it so you didn't take one that day at all? It doesn't even seem like you think that it's that big of a deal. You should know everything about the type of birth control that you are using and I don't think you do. You are way to confident in it. That's very dangerous. It's not 100% effective. When something like that happens you need to tell your boyfriend. It's his potential child too. The decision to have sex after that should have been up to the both of you. How can he fully trust you after you hid something like that from him? Before you had sex with him you should have talked about what you would do if something like this happens. You would have then known that he would have wanted you to get an abortion. It's very possible that he'll leave you over this. He is not ready for this responsibility that you are forcing on him. Not that you are either, but you're kind of stuck with it. I'm not judging you, criticizing you, trying to scare you, or yelling at you. Please don't think that. I know that every choice that anyone makes has very valid reasons behind it. It's easy to look back and point fingers, but who's to say that I wouldn't have made the exact same decisions as you if I were in your position. I want you to start thinking about this in a realistic way. You seem to be taking everything soo lightly. I want to make sure that you see how serious this is. If your test comes out positive you need to start thinking about how everything is going to work out. Don't leave it all up to your parents, it's your child and your responsibility. If the test comes out negative, this will have been a huge lesson for you. Sex isn't just about love or pleasure. It's about reproduction too. People tend to ignore that part and think that the risk is worth taking. Any chance less than 100% is a chance. Wake up. Adult actions like sex come with adult responsibilities. Are you ready? If not you'd better get there quick. Good luck. I'll be praying for you and I hope that everything turns out okay.
hey folks, i was just wodering, what do y'all know about the two + two programs (doing two years at a community college, such as SMC, and then two years in UCLA, or USC, or UC Berkely)
have you heard anything about it?
disadvantages? advantages?
anything you've got would be helpful.
Some of the main disadvantages:
-having to leave a newly formed group of friends
-not all your credits may transfer
-having to learn all about the new campus
-having to learn all about new professors
-basically, having to start entirely over
I transferred after only one year and it sucked so I can only imagine how much worse it would be after two years.
Some of the main advantages:
-the transition from high school to college will be less stressful
-you'll have more opportunities
-you'll have more experiences
-it's much easier to get into a community college
-you'll get to make connections with people from both colleges
Make the decision based entirely on your education. The other stuff isn't quite as important. Even though the change wasn't pleasant for me, I am still very glad that I did it. I'm on a much better track for my future career.
If you decide to start at the community college, make the decision as you go. You may end up wanting to just stay there. A degree is a degree after all. Good luck. :)
Alright, so. 18/f. My best friend is 17/m. There's no other way to say it; I'm a pushover. He's the only one I'm like this with. I know it's not that I have a crush on him, I really don't.
For example, I have a dog. I just got him October 1. I've wanted a dog for 2 years, and wanted this specific dog for maybe 6 months. W, my friend, is a total ass to him. He scares him all the time. Anyone else, and their ass would be mine. But when W does it, I can't say anything. Also, we plan on moving in together. He doesn't like animals. He wants a small house or apartment without a backyard. He doesn't want to leave town. I could easily find a medium sized in another town, with a small backyard, that would be where I kept the dog (with proper shelter, heating and cooling, all the attention he needs and stuff) for cheaper. But if I tell him, he just goes "no, I want this this this this, no animals" If it was my sister or any other friend I'd be like "dammit we're getting a dog and that's final." But with W, I can't.
How can I be more assertive and express my feelings without being bitchy?
It might be ok to make some of these sacrifices for someone that you loved, but you don't even like him! Why are you moving in with him? That's just going to cause a lot of trouble. You two aren't going to live well together at all. Cancel this arrangement as soon as possible. It doesn't matter how you sound. You just need to say what needs to be said. You're going to get stuck in a situation that you can't get out of. You know how to be assertive, you do it with others. Set his feelings aside for a minute and start thinking of yours. There's no special way to do it, you need to just do it. Good luck.
Three different people called me emo because I was scratching myself with a tac. No I am NOT trying to be emo because I am way to terified that I will die if I even come close to any razor, or knife, or whatever. But I was just bored I wasn't like trying to be emo or anything. So now those three people are spreading rumors that I am emo. At my school if you are called emo then you suddenly are part of a group of people who die their hair jet black and cut their wrists. I saw that group and I don't want to be apart of that even though I am gonna die my hair black. (i've been trying to get my dad to let me die my hair since I was 7!) also i listen to all the same stuff the emos listen to just because i like it i cant help it if we like the same stuff. what can i do to stop the rumors?
I'm not going to sit here and say that labels mean nothing so just do whatever you want. They may be really ridiculous and unnecessary, but it's becoming a way of life now. Most of your peers will take them very seriously. Labels can have a huge impact on your life. Who you hang out with defines who you are and if certain people won't hang out with you because you dress a certain way, that can be a real problem. Following the labels, no matter how silly they are, makes things so much easier. As for the rumor, just as long as you don't lose your current friends over it, don't worry about it. It's just worthless namecalling and it'll die down eventually. If it's bothering you now, though, please don't add fuel to the fire. Dying your hair black is a very bad idea. You may feel like it's the real you or whatever, but you're not going to keep it black for the rest of your life, almost guaranteed. It's really not worth it. At least wait until you're out of drama-city (aka high school). By dying your hair black, you're just asking for people to say things. You need to be able to handle a bit of namecalling and ridicule before doing anything like that and it seems like you're having a hard time with it already. Don't be the martyr or the rebel by pretending that labels don't exist. You'll look like a complete loser and probably end up with no friends. Sorry, but that's how the world works. Conformity can be a good thing. Don't conform to the point where you are unhappy or hurting yourself, but remember that not conforming usually hurts much much more. Find the happy place somewhere in the middle. Good luck. :)
I'm torn and at a loss. I'm very close friends with a married couple. The husband has become like my brother. He's very protective of me and has been there for me more than I could ever ask for. I go to church with him, his wife, kids, and his parents. Well, a little over a year ago me and my fiance broke up and I got into the whole partying scene with his wife. One night, this guy was over at their house and she was prancing in front of this guy in a short tshirt and thongs. I ignored it. Then at this party a month or so later, a bunch of us were playing poker and it turned into strip poker. I quit, but she continued playing (she was the only woman playing). She was sitting in a guy's lap and the only thing she was down to was her thongs and cowboy hat. I felt this alone was cheating. Well, things went a little further that night and she told me that her and him kissed. But I feel it may have went further than that. They continued calling each other for a week or so after this happened. I urged her to stop. She'd admit that it was bad, but she would continue. So, I backed off and got back in church. This summer we started hanging out again, and before I know it - I'm pulled right back into the same situation - knowing and seeing her mess with this guy. I've recently found out that she's been with a few more guys that I know. It's so hard for me - I want to tell her husband so bad because it's unfair to him. But I've vowed to stay out of it.
More bad news...I've fallen for her husband hard. Feelings I've never felt before, I'm feeling for him. Sometimes the way he looks at me and talks to me - I feel he may feel the same way. My mom believes he feels feelings for me also but he's trying so hard to make his marriage work. His mother has made comments to me and my mom before that she wishes he would have met me before his current wife because he would date me in a heartbeat. I've backed off from him because I know I don't need to feel the way I do. But he'll call me or will come see me and I just break down b/c it hurts so much. I just dont know what to do. Can someone help me and steer me into a direction that's right? I don't feel I'm in a position to be a homewrecker...
You're in a tough situation, there's no denying that. Giving the wife an ultimatum is a great idea. If she doesn't go for it, don't go running to the husband and tattling on her. Letting something casually slip so to speak might be a good idea. Then he would probably look into it and figure everything out on his own. This isn't something you want to get in the middle of. If it gets ugly, make sure the kids are okay. Be there if the parents need you to take them for awhile.
Speaking of the kids, how old are they?
If they're older teens or adults it may be best if the parents split up. Persuing a relationship with the husband would be fine after this, but make sure you wait awhile. Remember though, he may not feel the way about you that you think he does.
If the kids are younger this marriage needs to be salvaged. Even if it's not falling apart yet, it could easily start and for the kids' sake they should stay together at least until the kids are out of the house. Encourage them to get into counseling.
Lastly, none of this is your fault. You're not a homewrecker in any way shape or form. Everyone has choices they can make in their lives and if that family falls apart, it has nothing to do with you. It's not like you are spreading viscious rumors or planting condoms in their things. You're just being a good friend. Good luck.
this is math related, but it's not a homework question.
Okay, there's a simple rule that states anything to the zero power is 1. for example:
9 to the 0 power=1
why is that?? i understand how you get a 0 power, but why is it 1?? just curious.
thanks!!
Lets start from the beginning.
9 to the third power is 9x9x9=729
9 to the second power is 9x9=81
9 to the first power is 9.
So, to find any positive power of 9, it's 9 multiplied by itself however many times the power is. You probably know all that.
So how do negative powers work?
How do you find 9 to the negative third? Since positive is the opposite of negative, you want to find the opposite answer as 9 to the third. To do this you take what's called the inverse of 9 to the third. To do this you flip the fraction upside down. The number 729 (729/1) flipped upside down is 1/729. So 9 to the negative third is 1/729 (about 0.00137).
Ok so make a list of the powers of 9 going from the negative third to the third.
1/729, 1/81, 1/9, 1, 9, 81, 729
There's a pattern. How do you get from 1/729 to 1/81? You multiply by 9. The same thing is true all the way up the list. You multiply by 9 to get the next answer. It only makes sense then, that to move to the LEFT in the list you would divide by 9 instead of multiply.
So, calculate 9 to the 0.
1/9 times 9 is 1 and 9 divided by 9 is also 1.
I hope this helps you understand why the answer is 1! I'm sorry if that was confusing or hard to follow. If you need me to explain something better let me know and I'll do my best. It's a hard concept to grasp, so don't overthink it. It's just part of a pattern. :)
Good call lostinpraise, I didn't even look for a website. The website explains it a bit better than I did. :-P