I wasn't sure whether to put this under "Parenting" or "Sex" but seeing as how this category seems to be more popular, I put it under here to get as many possible responses.
Hi, i'm 15/female and i'm a little worried about a possible pregnancy. Any help at all would be greatly appreciated, but i'm asking you nicely, please do not judge or critisize me. If I am pregnant, which I have a strong feeling in my heart that I am, i'm going to take care of the baby with the help of my boyfriend, friends, and parents. All of whom are very supportive of all decisions I have and will make in the future. I still don't know how i'm going to tell them, but i'll found that out later on. I'm feeling very bittersweet about this whole episode, but I have decided i'm keeping the baby if I happen to be. What I need to know is if you guys think i'm pregnant as well?
I've been on birth control (ortho cyclen) for a little over 6 months now. I've had no problems other than the occasional missed pill that so far i've always taken the next day. My period has been a little of schedule here lately, sometimes it comes a day or two late, but I always experience light spotting on the days I don't start. I've recently been in the hospital do to a urinary tract infection and my doctor prescribed me amoxicillin. My boyfriend of a little over a year now are sexually active, and we have been for about 7 or 8 months now. I just recently quit taking my antibiotic, and I noticed as I was throwing the pill bottle out (my mom always gives me my medicine in the morning, so I never really looked at the bottle) that there was a warning saying "This medication may decrease the effectiveness of birth control. Use a backup method" I mentioned this to my boyfriend and we both freaked out; We don't use any other method because i've been on birth control since we've started having sex. And yes, he does ejaculate inside of me, everytime. To make matter even worse, while I was on my antibiotic, I missed a pill and didn't retake it. [I dropped it one morning while taking my other medication (zoloft, claritin) and couldn't find it. I still haven't]. Dumb on my part, I never told my boyfriend this. I was afraid he would become upset with me. And in case you were wondering, I don't plan on telling him. We did some research and discovered that the medicine I was on only decreased the effectiveness by a small amount. I'm still very worried though, because of the missed pill. It's way to late to use any emergency contraception, so if I am pregnant, i'm going to have to deal. I absolutely will not terminate the pregnancy! I am 100% against that. My boyfriend obviously doesn't want to have a baby. He asked me if I would get an abortion if I was pregnant. When I said no, he became upset but dropped the subject entirely. We haven't talked about it since. My period is now 3 days late, and I am pretty sure it's not due to stress. I'm perfectly ok with the possible pregnancy. I'm a little upset as to how mine and my boyfriend's family will take it, but other than that i'm fine. I've had some mild cramping, but no other symptoms or signs of pregnancy. I still haven't taken a pregnancy test, if I don't start in a week, I plan on asking my boyfriend to get me one. We'll take it from there. But basically, i'm just looking for advice.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category? Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions? ohsnapxxiloveyou answered Wednesday November 8 2006, 6:19 pm: Well. I dont mean to scare you. BUT; my couisn was on the pill for about 6 years. She started on it when she was almost 15. Shes now 21. And. She got pregnant last february, and we later figured out its cause she missed ONE does of her birth control. thats ONE pill. and she just had her baby last week. So. You may want to wait for your period. And if it doesnt come, definatly find a free clinic in your area and go get a pregnancy test. Good luck. And let me know what happens. My aim is; binas a ninja and my yahoo is; preskool.dropout
LM answered Tuesday November 7 2006, 5:36 pm: You probably missed your period because you were sick, AND on antibiotics. Both of those will surely mess things up, and since you've been on birth control for awhile it's almost certain that your cycle is off from what it used to be.
My best advice would be to wait a couple more days, then get a pregnancy test.
sizzlinmandolin answered Tuesday November 7 2006, 4:00 pm: The only judgemental thing I said was that you weren't ready for the responsibilities of a child and I apologize for that. I don't know that you aren't. I assumed and that was wrong. The other things I said were in the form of questions. I wasn't implying anything. I don't know the answers to those questions, only you do. I put them in the form of questions in order not to be judemental. I left it up to you to fill in the blanks. If you didn't know everything about your birth control I would want you to learn. If you do, that's great, move on to the next question. You were in a complicated situation and obviously couldn't provide all relavant information about yourself. I wanted to cover as much as possible. I realize my answer sounded very harsh and I apologize for that too. It's hard to convey emotions in writing. It seems that only my strong feelings about sex at a young age and teen pregnancy showed through. Anyways, I would hope that you got some pleasure out of sex. I never said that you did it for that reason. It's very clear that you love your boyfriend and want to express this sexually. That's not a bad thing, just as long as you realize that you are dealing with strong forces other than love, namely biology. Sure you can miss a pill. I'm not saying that you're not allowed to. I was pointing out that when you do, it increases the chances of ineffectiveness. Don't knowingly miss one. Take the one for the next day to be as safe as you can. Many children that are raised by young mothers are very happy. Many young mothers are better mothers than some older women. Your mother was pregnant at a young age and that's fine, but that doesn't mean that it's the best situation to be in. I don't think she would want you to have to go through that like she did. Everything usually turns out okay, but there's no reason to put yourself through that extra stress when you don't have to. Children of young mothers do face certain challenges that a lot of other children don't have to face. They can get through it and they'll be fine, but they didn't choose to have a young mother, like that young mother chose to risk having them. I'm glad that you're not pregnant. I know that you just went through a very stressful time and I, again, am sorry for not being more sensitive to that and making my advice sound a little nicer. I don't think that you were looking just for facts. You asked for advice. Factual advice would only have included how birth control works and maybe an estimate on the chances that you were pregnant. You know all that stuff. What you needed was advice. My advice, in a nutshell, was to think. Think a lot. Think about your choices, your life, and about how you might prevent this from happening again in the future. I also wanted you to have a very serious talk with your boyfriend about this topic. Now that the scare is over, it should be easier. Find out how he felt about what could have happened. Talk to him about his views on abortion and share your own. This conversation will help you learn a lot about each other and will probably bring you even closer together. I can see how none of this came through from what I said, especially in your state of high stress and your admiraly fiery personality. The one thing that troubles me though, is how confident you are in your relationship with your boyfriend. "And he would never leave me under any and all circumstances" is a very strong statement. Too strong. I know you were angry, but I hope that you are a little more realistic about your relationship with him than that. If you look back, I'm not suggesting anything about your relationship. I can see that it is very strong and that any circumstance that would cause him to leave you would have to be a pretty big circumstance. It is possible though, that you won't be with him forever. What if you were pregnant with his child and he left you? That would be 1000 times worse than if you weren't. I'm not implying that he would, but what if he did? The possibility is always there, however small it may be. Only he can know that and I mean, hey, even if he would never purposely leave you, he could die or something. As I said before, think a lot about everything that just happened. I wish you luck in your future. I really admire the fire you threw back at me and I actually thank you for it. I need some criticism every once in awhile and you did a great job. Thank you. :)
I'd like to add that if you miss a pill it's a big deal. Don't take it so lightly. If you ovulate on the day you miss your pill, taking a pill the next day will not reverse that. Whenever you miss a pill you need to abstain from sex at least until you get your period or use another form of protection (keep taking the pills of course though). I understand that if you were to become pregnant that you are confident that everyone would be supportive and such. That's very good. However, even though people would be supportive and even though everything would turn out okay, having a baby will completely change your life. There's no preventing that. You'd be alright, but what about your child? Would you be able to raise them? Would you drop out of school? What about your career? How much pressure would this be putting on your parents? On your boyfriend? Is your relationship with him really that strong? Don't you want a baby of yours to have the best life possible? Can that happen if you are living with your parents, going to school, not married...? If you don't completely understand all of the possible consequences of sex, you shouldn't be having it. From now on you need to be much more responsible. I mean, you dropped a pill on the floor and couldn't find it so you didn't take one that day at all? It doesn't even seem like you think that it's that big of a deal. You should know everything about the type of birth control that you are using and I don't think you do. You are way to confident in it. That's very dangerous. It's not 100% effective. When something like that happens you need to tell your boyfriend. It's his potential child too. The decision to have sex after that should have been up to the both of you. How can he fully trust you after you hid something like that from him? Before you had sex with him you should have talked about what you would do if something like this happens. You would have then known that he would have wanted you to get an abortion. It's very possible that he'll leave you over this. He is not ready for this responsibility that you are forcing on him. Not that you are either, but you're kind of stuck with it. I'm not judging you, criticizing you, trying to scare you, or yelling at you. Please don't think that. I know that every choice that anyone makes has very valid reasons behind it. It's easy to look back and point fingers, but who's to say that I wouldn't have made the exact same decisions as you if I were in your position. I want you to start thinking about this in a realistic way. You seem to be taking everything soo lightly. I want to make sure that you see how serious this is. If your test comes out positive you need to start thinking about how everything is going to work out. Don't leave it all up to your parents, it's your child and your responsibility. If the test comes out negative, this will have been a huge lesson for you. Sex isn't just about love or pleasure. It's about reproduction too. People tend to ignore that part and think that the risk is worth taking. Any chance less than 100% is a chance. Wake up. Adult actions like sex come with adult responsibilities. Are you ready? If not you'd better get there quick. Good luck. I'll be praying for you and I hope that everything turns out okay. [ sizzlinmandolin's advice column | Ask sizzlinmandolin A Question ]
karenR answered Tuesday November 7 2006, 1:50 pm: There is a small chance you could be pregnant.
I would take the home test if you don't get your period in the next week or so. Missing a pill might have thrown you off too.
You can't really depend on symptoms other than a missed period. There are many women who never have morning sickness or other big indicators that they might be pregnant.
I hope your boyfriend will stick with you through it all. His initial remarks were probably just curiosity about what you might be thinking. He hasn't left yet so chances are good he will be there for you.
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