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I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX.
My name is **SARAH** and im 15 [[16 in 2 months]]. I have a boyfriend **JOHN** who is also 15 and going to be 16 in 2 months. Well JOHN and I have been going out for 5 months this Saturday. We get along so well and we talk about EVERYTHING. When we hang out we don't have to do stuff to have fun; we cuddle, talk about everything, watch movies, sit outside and watch the stars. Well the past few days we got ALOT closer. He is the first boy i went out with for longer the 1 week after my very first love and hardest break up of 2 years. Well; the other day we became alot more physical. I mean before that all we did was BARELY make out; but the other day. It was like we made out for 2 hours and he fingered me. I was the first girl he ever did anything with like that and he was the second guy who did it to me. [[my first love was obv. my first]]. Well; we both have talked and decided we don't want to ruin our relationship with being sexual all the time. He knows about my past and i told him i didn't want to have sex until i was WAYYY older and hopefully married. He tells me all the time he wants to marry me and that he loves me more then anything in the world and i believe him. Well, he also doesnt want to have sex until he is married. We have talked about this so many times; but i am afraid that one day i'm going to get to crazy and give in. I REALLY DONT want to. I already made this mistake before. Do any of you have advice for me? PLease don't tell me to talk to him about, we have. It doesnt have to be 1,000,000 dollar advice ANYTHING would help. Please help me and please don't criticize me.
**SARAH**
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please stick to your morals.
you're definetly going to want to give in, but don't.
if he loves you and he feels the same way, he shouldn't even try to nudge you into it.
and if he does, but you stop him, he shouldn't keep trying.
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Waiting until you are married is a great decision ... (APPLAUSE) I ended up losing mine at 14 and got pregnant. Not to say you two can't out outer course. Other things besides sex itself. I mean if you choose to. But stick to your decision and wait to have sex. When you wait until you are truely ready it is so much better and has more meaning.
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good job with the waiting until marraige thing. i wanted that until i was 14.. and then i had sex and i honestly think it was a dumb decision. sure i love sex; but it would still be much better if i had waited. try making up a safe word or something to say/do when things are getting to heavy.. and then you'll both back off. that way, nothing gets out of hand.. hormones don't control you.. etc. just set your limits FIRMLY and even if you do give in.. hopefully he's a good enough guy to say "no, you'll regret it".
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If you don't want to have sex, then don't. Stick to your morals and don't let out of control hormones change that for you. Easier said than done, but once you do it, you'll be very proud of yourself.
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mmk, so i've been in a situation somthing like yourss.. like the whole its your boyfrineds first time thing and all of that jazz, but being that you're more experienced or you've been "experienced" for longer then you'll prolly be the one leading into most of the physical things you guys do. not that you'll alsways be the one doing stuff, but i doubt that he'll ask you to have sex unles he is kidding. And fi he does or if you guys are like ina moment or somthing don't be afraid to ruin it or stop it or whatever IM sudre that if he told you he wants to wait then he will end up appreciating it mroe in the long run. i know you said don't tell you to talk to him so i won't and i realize that sometimes talkignt o peopel doesn't help butdon't like STOP talking to him about it. Its okayy to talk about stuff like that pretty often and not just liek completely kill the idea ya know? i hope what i've said has helped...
noe more thing, if anyone critisizes you its because they don't know what you feel, screw themm:)
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Thats great that your waiting till marriage. If you feel so passionately about waiting, then you wont give in. But, just in case, let this John guy know, that if you start to seem like you do want to, to not let it happen. No one should criticize this question,its a great one. Just continue believing in what you believe in and you should be ok. Hope i helped!
-brina
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