about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

There is this kid and he really likes me. He says im beautiful and pretty and all this other stuff. Now.. he asked me out and i kinda said yes cuz i didnt want to be mean. but i dont really like him, like he has nice abs and he's a nice person, but i dont really like him,... if you know what i mean. What do i do? i already said yes... and i've never been on a date before. im a little nervous. :( ugh! i have no clue what to do...fake sick maybe? lol

Since you said yes, go on a date with him. One date doesn't mean that you're boyfriend and girlfriend. You don't have to like him to hang out with him. Give him a chance. Maybe you'll see something in him that you never saw before. Just think of it as going someplace with a friend and you'll be fine. It really is no different. If he tries to hold your hand or kiss you, just say no if you're not comfortable. It won't hurt his feelings if you do. In the future, know that it's much much more mean to say you'll go on a date and not than to just say no in first place. Respect yourself. If he asks you to go on a second date, you'll know what to do. Tell him the truth. Good luck. I'm sure it will be a good time. :)

[view]


the problem is:
the lenght of a rectangle is 3yd more than twice its width. the perimeter is 36yd. what is the width and lenght?

i need an equation and ALL of the steps to solve it.
thanks!!

Make X stand for the width. Since the length is two times the width plus three, 2X+3 stands for the length. The perimiter is the sum of all of the sides. There are two widths and two lengths in a rectangle. So, you multiply the width times two, and multiply the length times two.

So, the equation would be

2X + 2(2X+3) = 36

Problem solving can come hard for some people. That's why I helped explain how to come up with the equation to you. I'm not going to tell you how to solve the problem because this isn't a website for help with your homework. Look in your math book and you will find the instructions if you don't know how to solve it from there. Good luck. :)

[view]


Hey, Im a guy, still a virgin and i was wondering how reliable a condom is. Is it a recommended Idea to double up. I know the chances are like 2-3 in 100 but would doubling up make it like.001 percent chance. Thanks answers are appreciated

One condom is plenty. The only reason it says that they are less than 100% effective is because people don't use them correctly. With perfect use, they are just about 100% effective. It will be safer for you to read and follow all the instructions in the box, than to double up. One of the instructions is to use extra lubrication with the condom. If it's dry, there's more of a chance for it to break. Many people don't do this. It's an important step. Spend a few extra dollars and get some lube. When you get it on, examine it for tears, lots of people don't do this either. Make sure it's on right, there's a good description of how to put it on with the instructions. No air bubbles, and a space on the top. Make sure that it's not past it's expiration date. I believe that it tells you in the instructions that it's not a good idea to double up. There are probably more important steps that I'm forgetting, so make sure you take a look at those instructions. Good luck. :)

[view]


The other day I went over to this guys house because I have been in love with him for almost a year. I have dated him two times before but my mom band me from him because he is eighteen. He wanted me to come over to finish a video that we had watched once before. But he had promised me that was all we were going to do. So I told my mom I was going to a friend's house and would be home by six. Well I went there and all I meant to do intentionally was watch the movie. Well I laid back on his bed then he laid back by me and put his arm around me. Then he pretended like he was asleep but I knew better so punched him in the side. Then he rolled over and held my arms down and licked my nose because he knows how much I hate that. Everytime he did it he laughed and kept moving closer to my face to the point my nose was touching his and our lips were practically touching everytime we talked or laughed. Then he just kissed me and we like made out for half an hour. Then he started fingering me for like ten minutes. Then I gave him head until he cummed. After that we had sex. When we were done he went to take a shower and I went down there to fix my hair. He said don't try to get in the shower with me, prostitution is bad. I told him I wouldn't have to try and asked him if he just called me a whore. He said no, if he called me a whore he would have said it to my face. So when I was in the bathroom he took off his clothes and kissed me. He then told me if I wanted to join then I could, then he got in the shower. I stood there not sure what I should do. I sat there and thought about what I should he stuck his head out and told me to come here. So I did actually thinking he was going to pull me in but he kissed me. After about 5 minutes I finally broke and just got into the shower with him. After that I started thinking I was a slut. I mean I had slept with three guys. Him, one of his friends, and this one guy I had dated at my school. I had slept with him about 8 times, his friend once, and that one guy 3 times. So now I don't know if I am or not. So I'm actually kinda confused. SO PLEASE respond to this. I'm really confused!!!

The fact that you even have to ask this question should give you your answer. It doesn't matter if you're a slut or not, what matters is what people think. Technically, you're probably not a slut. However, you know that what you're did isn't entirely acceptable. I know you got caught up in the moment, but this story makes you sound very easy.

Since it wasn't planned, my guess is that you didn't use a condom. If you did, or if you're taking birth control pills, that's great. If not, don't you realize what could happen? Do you want to get pregnant with someone's baby that you're not in love with so early in your life?

What you need to do, is accept that you're easy. It may be hard, but it will make things so much better. You're not a bad person or anything for being easy. You just have a weakness when it comes to guys so you have to be more careful. Try not to put yourself in one on one situations with a guy and if you do, bring a condom even if you don't plan on doing anything. It could easily happen. Carry one with you all the time if you can. Know yourself and prepare.

Don't feel bad about what you did. It can happen to the best of us. Learn from it though. You may not be able to change your personality, but you're smarter now and can be safe about it. Good luck. :)

[view]


I've had quite a few guys finger me, and I can never orgasm with a guy. I masturbate a lot and always have an orgasm myself. Is something wrong with me? Is there anything I can do to make it easier to have an orgasm from a guy fingering me?

The more you think about it and put all your focus on it, the less of a chance there is of it happening. It's ok if you don't have an orgasm from a guy fingering you. If you can accept that, you may just end up having one when you don't expect it. The only thing you can do to help, is talk to the guy and tell him how he could do it better. Good luck. :)

[view]


I'm trying to upload a picture onto my page and it keeps saying that it's over 15 something. and I noticed that pretty much everyone has a pic. not an icon like I do. so what I wanted to know was if they're a feature on advicenators that I don't have that allows you to have better things (like getting a picture) or if they're something I can do to resize my picture. I know that when you edit a picture it makes it larger. or atleast on my computer. thanks in advanced !
: ] -H0LDM3CL0S3

I am going to copy and paste my answer from someone that asked this exact same question a few days ago. Next time do a search through some of the existing questions before asking one. On the left column, the very first option is "Search Questions". Many people have the same problems as you. :)

First, download a program called IrfanView (http://www.irfanview.com/). Open up the program and click "File", then "Open". Open the original picture, not the ones you tried to make smaller. Once it comes up, click on "Image", "Resize/Resample". The box that comes up has a ton of information on it, but don't get scared. You only have to change one thing. The second option on the left side says "Set new size" and has two boxes labeled as "Width" and "Height". Make sure that the units are in "pixels" not "cm" or "inches". The "Width" and "Height" boxes will already have numbers in them. Set the larger one to 350 and the smaller one will adjust itself. Click "OK" and you'll see your picture get smaller. Now click "File", then "Save as...". Below the box where you would type in the "File name" there is another box called "Save as type". Use the drop down arrow to the right of this box and select "JPG-JPEG Files". To the right of the "Save Picture As" window, there is another smaller window called "JPEG/GIF save options". There's a bar on the top called "Save quality". Set it at 80 and then go back to the other window and click "Save". If this picture will not upload for you, go back, open your original picture again, and try making the pixels 300 instead of 350. I hope this works for you and I hope that my instructions are easy to follow. Good luck! :)

[view]


if somebody blocks their number and calls you, is there any way to find out the number they called you from?

The only way is by asking them. :)

Probaby since you are asking this question, though, the person wouldn't tell you anyways. Don't worry about it. If someone is harassing you via telephone, contact your phone service providor. If you're just curious, the answer is simply no.

[view]


My boyfriend (30yrs) and I (28yrs) met in Australia and I moved to Ireland to be with him, we have only been together (officially) for a year. I found out we were pregnant the other day and whilst I am scared and nervous about it I want to have the baby as I feel we are strong enough to get make it happen and abortion is not an option in my mind. My boyfriend said he will support me what ever I decide but I know he is freaked out by it. I have tried talking to him and I understand his fears. He is worried about finances and that our 1/2 renovated house is not child suitable but I think his biggest worry is that is life of going to clubs and festivals during the summer will be over for ever and he will be chained to the couch for ever. I have tried to tell him life will change but its not the end of his life and things will be different. I asked him if the option was there of an abortion would he want that and he said yes he would. This really hurts me as I dont believe in abortion and I am ready for a baby in some way I am actually excited and would have liked it to have been a planned pregnancy and a mutually wanted baby. Later he came back and said he doesn't want me to have an abortion but he is not sure about me having it. What am I meant to do have half a baby and half of an abortion?? What do I do? Do i give him time to get used to the idea? I dont want him to feel forced into this and him become resentful? Do I just go home to Australia and leave him to his party life? (which really aint that party hard anyway). We are a strong strong very happy and in love couple but I dont want to force this on him but then it was the two of us that got pregnant, why am I meant to feel like I am forcing this on him?? oh its all so confusing? can he go to any decent websites for advice on this stuff? I have checked ou a few sights about girlfirends getting pregnant but they are all for younger guys?

He's 30 years old. He's got to grow up sometime. Does he plan on partying until he's 50? I'm not sure of the culture, but I would imagine that most of the partiers are under the age of 30. He can still go out every once in awhile, he's not going to have to be "chained to the couch" with the baby 24/7. That's an unrealistic view of the situation. As with anyone, if he's responsible enough to be having sex he needs to be responsible enough to deal with any of its consequences. He is. He just doesn't want to. That's not a bad thing. It was unplanned and unexpected. I think that since your relationship is very strong that things will work out. Right now, he's just acting out of shock. Give it time. If, after you have the baby, he is still acting this way, reconsider your decision, but for now, stay with him. It's best for everyone, even him. Good luck. :)

[view]


I'm 18 and a chick, my best friend is 17 and male. I'm not in love with him or anything, nor do I have a crush on him. But there's a sort of awkward thing going on.

There are some days that he just REALLY turns me on. He doesn't even have to try. I mean, not even exaggerating, he can smile at me and I'll be horny for like 10 minutes. And I'm pretty much screwed if he dances. I'm NOT interested in him romantically at all, it's just, some days... hot damn. And seriously, it's just maybe 9 days out of the month (I see him almost every day) And its not just a little tingling, I get a girl version of blue balls, basically.

What do I do to:
(a)control my crazy hormones
(b)convince him to bring our relationship to the "friends with benefits" stage, or
(c)something else.

Choice a) isn't really an option. Whatever you do, don't do choice b). It will create more problems than it solves. It will probably make you horny over him more often too. It's good that you see the difference between being sexually attracted to him and romantically attracted to him. Personally, I don't think that you should do anything. Yeah it's annoying, but it's not huge enough of a problem as doing something about it might cause. If you're into masturbation, when it happens you can just go to the bathroom for a few minutes and that will help some. Your hormones will calm down eventually, so don't worry about having to deal with this for the rest of your life. Good luck. :)

[view]


My name is Alex and im a 16year old female. i weigh 130 pounds and stll have my baby fat on my stomach.
Every since grade school i have been called fat by my peers and even my parents have called me fat and told me i needed to lose weight. Even though i know eating disorders are bad they haunt my mind. I think about not eating everyday .. i try and throw up my found after i eat but never do instead i break down and cry. Even if i think about not eating and throwing up does that mean i have eating disorder and if so how can i stop.

You don't have an eating disorder. You just have a bad image of yourself. I think you should talk to your school counselor. Everybody at one time or another thinks that they are unattractive. You're having a really hard time with it though because other people are "confirming" these thoughts. It sounds like you could develop an eating disorder. Getting help now, before you do, would be really beneficial to you. It will be much easier to get over everything if you don't wait for it to get out of control. Lastly, don't be so hard on yourself. Deep down you know that you're attractive no matter what other people may say. :)

[view]


i had an infection in my eye and now it got transferred onto only one of my contacts (the one that was in the eye with the infection). well now the infection in my eye went away so i put my contacts back in and then my eye hurt again.

i've realized that the infection is now stuck on my contact and it is new so i can't just throw it away and start a new one so i was wondering if there is any type of cleaner that is safe to put on my contact lens to get the infection out?

thanks!

Normallyl, if you have washed your contact off in your regular saline solution and it still hurts when you put it in your eye, you throw it away. Whether it's 2 months old or 2 days old. Your eyes aren't something you want to be taking risks with. It could even be torn or something. You never know.

That said, your situation is not a normal one. I doubt that an eye infection can stick to a contact like you are describing. My guess is that the contact is irritating your eye just because your eye is sensitive having just gotten over an infection.

Don't wear your contacts for the time being and make a call to your eye doctor. Let him/her know that it hurts. Ask if it's possible for the infection to be on the contact. If no, ask how long you should wait before wearing your contacts again. If yes, ask how you can get it off. Only an eye doctor can accurately answer your questions.

Good luck. :)

[view]


Ohmygod. Rawr. Right now, I have my period.
Its the worse one I have had in my life.
I have taken 2 midol, its not doing nothing..

My back is killing me, I havent aten in 1 day becasue I have absoutly no appitite, Everthing hurts. Even my legs.

help? What do you take for these things!? Midol used to work, now, it doesnt!


Thanks so much

Since you are in a considerable amount of pain and discomfort, sometime, not immediately, you should bring this up to your doctor. He or she may be able to perscribe something to you that will work much better than anything you can get over the counter or would have thought of yourself. Being in that much discomfort can affect your life. You don't want to have to be going through that every month. For the time being, try a different kind of medication. Be careful that you read the bottle and make sure that it's not going to react negatively with any meds you've already taken. Other than the meds, see if you can find some calcium supplements. I know Wal-Mart sells them, so if you have a Wal-Mart in your area that would be a good place to look first. I've tried Viactiv Soft Calcium Chews for Women. They have them in chocolate flavor. They taste really good. It is believed that symptoms you experience when you have your period are partly due to a lack of calcium. These chews might help you out and they might not. It's worth trying though. Good luck. :)

[view]


Hey. I keep trying to upload a pic for my advice column, but its not working! It keeps saying something like "the pic is too big" and my picture (i keep having to make it smaller) is so small you cant even make out whats in it!! does anyone know how to solve this? thanks!

First, download a program called IrfanView (http://www.irfanview.com/). Open up the program and click "File", then "Open". Open the original picture, not the ones you tried to make smaller. Once it comes up, click on "Image", "Resize/Resample". The box that comes up has a ton of information on it, but don't get scared. You only have to change one thing. The second option on the left side says "Set new size" and has two boxes labeled as "Width" and "Height". Make sure that the units are in "pixels" not "cm" or "inches". The "Width" and "Height" boxes will already have numbers in them. Set the larger one to 350 and the smaller one will adjust itself. Click "OK" and you'll see your picture get smaller. Now click "File", then "Save as...". Below the box where you would type in the "File name" there is another box called "Save as type". Use the drop down arrow to the right of this box and select "JPG-JPEG Files". To the right of the "Save Picture As" window, there is another smaller window called "JPEG/GIF save options". There's a bar on the top called "Save quality". Set it at 80 and then go back to the other window and click "Save". If this picture will not upload for you, go back, open your original picture again, and try making the pixels 300 instead of 350. I hope this works for you and I hope that my instructions are easy to follow. Good luck! :)

[view]


Umm.. I didnt know where to put this topic, lol.

Any good camps around New Jersey for a 13 year old girl? That arent too expensive either... I want to go to camp so badly, and finally I've convinced my mom that camp isnt just for parents who are away in the summer, and she'll pay if its 5,000 dollars or less. i want to go to those like.. traditional camps and does anyone know any good ones? i dont mind if its co-ed, just females, or has a brother and sister camp. and one with like alot of fun activities and stuff, like sports, dances, etc. personal experience from it could also be good. i've tried looking for some.. but I dont really know if they're that good without some peoples opinions... or idk.

thanks! :]

http://www.4hcampsny.org/shankitunk/index.htm

This may be a little too far away for you, but I know some girls from New Jersey that go to here. It's very small, inexpensive, and it's a ton of fun. The website is a year or two old, but it still has all the information you would need. If you have any questions, contact Cornell Cooperative Extension (they're really nice) or inbox me (I work there). Good luck in finding a camp, it really is a wonderful experience no matter where you go. :)

[view]


i feel like i do so much for my boyfriend. he gets so stressed out because he works 40 hours a week and goes to school so i barely get any of his time. but when i am with him i try and do so much so he feels appreciated for what he does. but lets just face it guys arent like girls. you cant just pick up flowers and everything be okay. what do you do for a guy? i mean i give him full body massages all the time. i try and do anything i can. but what can you really do? weve been together for 9months and i love all of it. it does get hard. for the both of us. i kinda feel like im not respected either for the hard work i put into the relationship and i never feel like im worth any of it to him. so like next thursday is our 9months or whatever and i told him he has to show someway that he cares about anything i do or its done. because i cant stay in this without respect but just is that right? i just want to feel cared about. and also what can i do for him that basically says. I Love you so much and i appreciate everything you do. besides getting naked and saying put it in me.

I think you are very right in expecting him to do something for you every once in awhile. Yeah, he's busy and he works really hard so you can't expect it all the time, but if he never gives you anything, that's no good. I'm sure he cares about you, but he doesn't seem to have his priorities very straight. He's using work and school as an excuse to not have to show appreciation for you and that's selfish. You can't be selfish in a relationship. It's not hard to stop into a store really quick and pick up something nice or take you out to a nice dinner on a weekend. A lot of the time, sometimes even kind words can be enough. What you are feeling right now is a terrible feeling. To not be appreciated has got to be one of the worst feelings ever. Plus, it makes you work even harder to get that appreciation and continue to be more and more disappointed when it doesn't come. What you did was right. Give him a chance. Maybe he didn't realize how much he was hurting you and will put more of an effort in from now on. If not though, give him the boot. He doesn't deserve you. I hope that it doesn't come to that. Good luck.

[view]


My friends have told me that you don't need to study for driver's ed..that it's all common sense and just plain easy.

Should I take their advice and not study? I've asked friends from other states and schools and they've all said that studying is pointless, but no one I know has had my driver's ed teacher before.

You'll know what's common sense and what's not when you learn it. If you think that the material is easy, then don't study. If you think it's hard, then go ahead and study. You can't decide whether you're going to study or not before you are given any of the information. There's no reason to be trying to make this kind of a decision now.

My experience with Driver's Ed. was a good one. The material wasn't all stuff that I already knew and it wasn't all common sense. I found that it was basically just easy information that after hearing once I knew and didn't have to study. The only part that I had to study much for was the chapter about the parts of the car.

Don't worry about Driver's. Ed. There was this girl in my class that was not only a questionable driver, but she was really dumb too and she got like an 80. I know it depends on the teacher, but I would imagine that it's easy to get through just about anywhere. You seem like a pretty intelligent person, so be confident that you'll have an easy time with it and you probably will. :)

Good luck!

[view]


I play soccer, and usually my position is like a midfielder, or halfback, defender.. stuff like that. mostly midfielder though. any tips on how I can get better? I'm 13, too.

Also, what are some tips for me cuz I'm auditioning for a play with requires dancing, and I havent gone to dance for like two years so I'm probably rusty. The callbacks are in a week, and what are some ways I can get somewhat better in time? like to become more flexible and get more in shape and stuff for it.

Thanks!

If you're a midfielder you've got to be able to run. You need to have a lot of endurance and be able to just run around for a really long time. Speed can only be boosted a certain amount. Endurance however, you can work on. Do some long distance running and you should see results. Another thing a midfielder has got to be able to do is control the ball. Practice right in your backyard. Set up a row of things to dribble around and move them closer together each time you go through. Pretend each obstacle is a defender, so try to make some moves to get around them. One more attribute a midfielder needs to have is to be able to make good, quick passes. You can improve your passing by practicing accuracy. Try to hit a certain spot on a wall or in the goal. Even a tree would work if you've got nothing else. Keep in mind that when actually playing, you'll want to aim a little ahead of the person instead of right at them. Whenever you have some free time, just mess around with a soccer ball. The more extra work you do, the better you'll get. I was involved in so many other things that I didn't have much time for practicing on my own. I can tell you that from personal experience, I started getting good at soccer after I joined the track team. I wasn't very good at running, but after a season of track, I was one of the best runners on the team. Running is a huge part of soccer. If anything, work on that. It doesn't matter if you have good moves if you can tire your oppontent out by constantly moving. Constant movement is good for getting open too. Of course if you did have those moves you'd be that much better. ;)

The play, I'm not sure what to tell you. To get more flexible, stretch a lot. The best way to get into shape is to run. Other than that, I'd say be confident in your abilities. It will show through and give you and advantage. You'll be less likely to make mistakes if you are less nervous. I couldn't dance at all and still can't, but I was always confident enough to get through it and not do too darn bad for high school plays. Good luck!

[view]


ok so sometimes i finger myself in the shower and i always pee. is that normal and what can i do to like stop thanks in advance

If you go to the bathroom before you get into the shower, what's coming out of you isn't pee. What you are experiencing is called female ejaculation. Many women can do it, so don't think you're weird. It's one of those things that most people don't know about and don't talk about because they don't understand it. Here's a website that can explain it much better than I can. I don't think there is a way to make it stop, but it's not like it's a bad thing, so don't worry about it. :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_ejaculation

[view]


where do i enter my HTML codes on advicenators to decorate me advice comlumn?

i will rate!

You can if you have a paid account. All the information about that is on this website.

http://www.advicenators.com/paidaccounts.php

[view]


Okay i went out with a guy and he broke up with me!!! I still love him and i know for a fact that he wants to ask me out again!!! But ive developed a crush for one of my best friends who i really think likes me hes always staring at me (especialy my eyes) I dont know what to do or who i like more

Have a trial date with both of them. Don't call it a date, though. Ask them if they want to "do something". Make it clear that it'll be as friends. Don't use any terms or phrases that would mean a date such as "go out" when you ask them. Spend an afternoon or evening with one, then do the same with the other and pick the one you like the best. Make sure the setting is the same for both. If you go to a movie with one and to dinner with the other, you may enjoy one over the other because of the activity instead of the guy. If either of them ask you out during this, say you need time to think. After these dates, don't let it rest. Try to make the decision as soon as you can. If you absolutely can't make the decision, don't pick either. Stay single and if something happens it happens. Good luck. :)

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker