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Arousal!
I'm 18 and a chick, my best friend is 17 and male. I'm not in love with him or anything, nor do I have a crush on him. But there's a sort of awkward thing going on.
There are some days that he just REALLY turns me on. He doesn't even have to try. I mean, not even exaggerating, he can smile at me and I'll be horny for like 10 minutes. And I'm pretty much screwed if he dances. I'm NOT interested in him romantically at all, it's just, some days... hot damn. And seriously, it's just maybe 9 days out of the month (I see him almost every day) And its not just a little tingling, I get a girl version of blue balls, basically.
What do I do to:
(a)control my crazy hormones
(b)convince him to bring our relationship to the "friends with benefits" stage, or
(c)something else.
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this guy is your best friend. what's wrong with being with him? how can you not be attracted to the guy in any way other than the sexual feelings going on here? i think the problem here is that you really do like this guy a ton and are repressing those feelings subconsciously but they're making theirselves known by sexual arousal.
i think the best thing to do in this situation is realixe that friends make the best lovers. whether you want to admit it or not you're easier to fall in love with someone whom you've been friends with, who knows you well, and who treats you in ways you like being treated. and the real thing is if this guy is straight, and is your best friend, liklihood is he really likes you and doesn't know how to go about letting it be known. so either the two of you can be rocks sitting next to each other, keeping your feelings trapped inside, and never moving or acting on this. or one of you can do something about it. tell him about it, tell him how you feel, what he means to you, and how he makes you feel. because what i see here despite how you say you're not interested in him in that way is someone who really loves someone else but is so stuck on this friendship business that the love you have for him is making itself known by any means necessary.
friends no matter who they are, tend to be easier to talk to, easier to be around, more agreeable, and more fun. and friends make better lovers than anyone you try meeting at random. because they understand you, they understand how you work, and how you feel. there's a lot of pent up emotions here in reading all this from you and i think the first thing you need to do is really think about this boy. because i bet you, theres a lot more there inside the both of you than you're willing to let on.
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girls get turned on easy. we can't control it. we just get over it. masturbation.
amen.
(a) control my crazy hormones.
don't try. there isn't anything you can do about getting turned on. it's just a part of life we have to live with. i think someone already mentioned excusing yourself to go masturbate when you get horny like that.
(b) convince him to bring our relationship to the "friends with benefits" stage.
don't convince him. it's just going to end in disaster. if you ask him that, there is a good possibility he'll take it the wrong way and mistake it for you liking him.
(c) something else.
there is nothing else. this feeling will eventually go away. promise.
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yea you should see if y`all can be friends with benefits.
<3 gerilynn
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Choice a) isn't really an option. Whatever you do, don't do choice b). It will create more problems than it solves. It will probably make you horny over him more often too. It's good that you see the difference between being sexually attracted to him and romantically attracted to him. Personally, I don't think that you should do anything. Yeah it's annoying, but it's not huge enough of a problem as doing something about it might cause. If you're into masturbation, when it happens you can just go to the bathroom for a few minutes and that will help some. Your hormones will calm down eventually, so don't worry about having to deal with this for the rest of your life. Good luck. :)
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