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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

Mid 30’s. He says he loves her and has a kid with her and live together only been for a few years together but still he’s having sex with his recent ex girlfriend who he still in touch behind his actual girlfriend the mother of his child as he wouldn’t dare but he wasn’t happy in a relationship at the time plus she’s no sexual at all he tells so what is this? Do you reckon he still loves his ex girlfriend otherwise he wouldn’t keep on having sex? Do you think this is infidelity? Do all the men cheat when they love their girlfriends? I’m not sure because if you love someone truly deeply you would never ever dare to have sex with another person no matter what. Do explain please!

Words are cheap. Its really only the actions behind the words that tell the real story.
Girls too can say they are something they aren't but I will use 'He' since you ask about men.

He can say, I will never ever raise my voice to you.
Then one day he comes home with a splitting headache and stress from work and his woman asks an innocent question like "Do you know where the remote control is, because I've searched and can't find it. He blows up and yells, "How should I know, you used it last. If you kept a neater house, you'd know where it was. And many such incidents follow even though after each he apologizes and says sorry.

Sorry is also another easy to say cheap word that does not mean anything. People say sorry when they are not sorry and have no intention of changing or correcting their behavior.

So if a guy says I love you, he darn well better be showing it to you as well by how he treats you 24/7. He does not get time off to slip up sometimes. If he knows what will upset you, he shouldn't do it. There is no such thing as "I forgot that you wouldn't like it if I lied or cheated on you.

Now as to the word Love. There is a difference between saying I love you and I am in love with you. We love all sorts of things and that love is a very intense like, as in what things we seem to favor above others, such as I love chocolate icecream more than any other flavor. I love steam trains, I love Italian food, I love the color red, etc. So when we say I love you, we are only loving some aspects in a persons, maybe just what they look like, the sex, or parts of their personality but not everything. Its the same with saying I love Italian food because pasta really appeals to you, or steam trains because you are into nostalgia from things of the past for example. This love falls far short of 'being in love'. At the end of my first marriage, a counselor asked my ex if he was in love with me. He began to put me down and list what he didn't like about me. The counselor again asked, are you in love with your wife. Finally he knew he had to answer and he hedged with, well I love her for being the mother of our children. Loving how I mothered our children is the only way he loved me? And when asked again, he finally said, No I have never been in love with her. So when I sat there hearing this, the first thought in my head was, "Well, that certainly explains a lot about how badly he treated me. He would not have done those things if he was in love with me. Women seem geared to accept the word "Love" as meaning the man is in love with her, and then are surprised and shocked when he does the stuff such as you gave in your example. I'd say the guy you mention is not in love with either woman. He may love some aspects of their character, but that is not enough to have him treating one woman like a princess and bending over backwards to please her, feeling worried if she is crying, wanting to know if something he said or did put those tears there, always complimenting her, and as the years go by, he never stops looking at her with passion and desire in his eyes, he loves her voice, the things she says, he loves her exact body shape and is always telling her so, he loves her talents and all aspects of her personality, would rather spend time just being with her because doing mundane chores is more fun with her at his side, is more than pleased with how she treats him in love making . . . This is what being in love is. This is also what I happen to have with my second husband. There are men who do have women they are in love with but this is a much smaller percentage because young males learned from watching how their Dads treated their Moms that loving aspects was all that was needed to catch a girl willing to date, have sex, even marry. So why go the extra effort to find a woman you can be in love with and treat like a princess if you can get away with a very minimum of good behavior?

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I’ve been searching for AGES.

I mean, I think my purpose could be having a gift to give to people, like time, effort, empathy, etc. but I don’t know.

I can’t talk to my therapist anytime soon, but I’m in desperate need of someone who is very wise to give me advice on finding my gift.

Volunteer work is a good way to find out some things you like. While most people are working any old job that will give them paychecks so they have something to live on, what they do is rarely something they enjoy. Some of the best jobs are finding what makes you happy. Lets say you are happier in nature. So jobs like working in a ranger station,working outdoors with a landscaping company, helping to clean the environment, repair and build new hiking trails, etc. These may not be glamorous but you will be happiest when you find you can contribute in society and even get paid for doing it. There are people, who saw a need and started a non profit company that helps many other people. I want you to look it up because it is positive stuff and can show you that there are plenty of ways to be of help and give your time to others in a meaningful way. TV celeb Mike Rowe has a facebook show called returning the favor. He has done this for a couple years. The basis is basically ordinary people without any special talent seeing a great need and many accidentally fall into helping out. Women who like to cook were creating meals to take out to first responders for fires and other disasters so that they had a hot cooked meal while working many hours. So someone who liked cooking has other volunteers who also like the same and a team led by Mike go out and see what ways they can help the volunteer organization with any real needs they have and they get them what is needed plus money for the organization. Viewers nominate someone in their area and the show goes to check out and film that company in action. So look up Returning the Favor. Seeing so many people helping people is really uplifting to watch. It could give you idea's of what to look for in your area to do volunteer work in.

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Long story short, I have moved out of California a couple times and than ultimately moved back for either health reasons or even financial reasons. I have depression and it started after the first time I moved away. The 2nd time I moved it got better and I was doing fine, but I ultimately moved back to California because I was offered a job that paid double what I was making so I moved back. I have been house hunting, and every house I put an offer in on gets another offer that is taken. It is really draining me, I have been thinking about moving back out of california once I transfer my job. I have been questioning things because I know some in my family will throw in my face the times I have moved and the times I have come back. I just want to be happy, but california does not make me happy and it drains me more mentally than anything. I have done my research on where to work and where to move to, I just need some advice on what route I should take.

Time for list making!

Have one list with columns with some of the places you are most interested in living there. California should also be on the list.
Below each state, start writing the pro's of living there and at the end of the column list the con's.

You didn't say where you are house hunting but you need to decide if owning a home is what you really want. You moved for a job. You need to decide if you are more interested in money or more interested in a job because money does not buy happiness.

So next make a list of all the things you believe is killing your happiness. For example, California is mostly a more dry state. If dry hot weather doesn't make you happy, maybe you need the opposite, like a colder climate, more greenery in the scene. You may not know yet what will make you happy and you might never know if you don't get a chance to experience it.
I know of young couples who sold their home because it was something that drained money and they really didn't have a life. They didn't want to wait until they were 65, 70 to retire and then travel. They bought vans to remodel to live in or small motor homes and began to travel the country. This way they got to experience any of the states, especially those they thought they were interested in. You might also want to check on the cost of living in other states versus the pay scale and availability of jobs. Some of the happiest people around are those with no rent or mortgage payments, a home on wheels, and traveling for now until they decide what they want based on what makes them happy. What if a house and your good paying job is actually robbing you of happiness. Could you be happy living minimally but having the freedom to do what you want? Some young people do this based on using little amounts of savings and also doing temporary works stints where ever they happen to be at the time, pickers in orchards, extra help at Christmas, etc. They save up what they earn, then travel some more and when money runs low, work a while again somewhere. You may find in doing this, interest in a totally different kind of work, state or area to live in and you may enjoy the different living style. Right now, I have the feeling you go for the sure things, what seems more secure. Perhaps you are meant to be more adventurous, try different things and take risks. I don't know but I hope this helps you sort it out.

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I'm 29 and i'm with him for eight months now ,,at first i had some doubts not because of the age difference but because he still at the beginning of his 20th..But then he was treating me right and he's a total gentleman, he's always there and wants to be there ,i'm having fun it's all good but there're times or let's say situations when i'm not being comfortable or i think too much before i speak, i can't dance in front of him nor sing ...And more importantly i can't express myself clearly because of his ''attitude'', if he feels i'm not comfortable or silent which i am because i don't like talking that much, he just leaves me alone he just can't handle the situation..
I'm not sure if he's the one,, how am i gonna know because day by day he's feelings growing..i can feel it... And even if im gonna break up how am i gonna do it, i'm not good with words and feel very uncomfortable..

It's sounds like the two of you are way too different for this to work. If being sure is all you want, then follow the instructions in my document, Finding Mr. Right. That way you should end up knowing if he really meets your criteria or not. Also, you need to know that the more time a guy is paying attention to one gal, she can fall for him, even if he is terribly wrong for her, so even if you do have feelings start for him, this alone isn't a good sign that you should remain together no matter what. Now make the lists I mention in the following:

How to find Mr. Right

I went through this search in my late forties after an almost 30 yr marriage to a man who was never in love with me, verbally abusive and not my sexual match. I was ready to finally find Mr Right and what I believe I heard while praying, is that I had to make several lists and refine them as I went along.

First, how well do you know yourself? I used a dating site 2nd time around. It worked for me to find my true love. However, to fill out a profile for yourself, to really describe yourself, your personality and who you are at core, is hard to do, like writing about your work strengths in a resume. So this is just as important as a resume only more so. You can easily leave a job that doesn't work out. Its much harder with a boyfriend or husband. So its best to be able to describe yourself well for those few you meet who may be promising. This is not just those met online but any you meet in person as you're out and about. They will have something specific they are looking for as well and need to be able to recognize the possibility that you may be the one for them. Or hopefully they will, if not, they may not recognize that you are the one for him and that is too bad for him. You want a guy who sees the real you inside too and will know he wants you, the whole package. You'll need this list or bio on yourself before you can form the list of what you are looking for in a guy.

So, ask yourself what it is in life that lights you up, makes you not just happy but content and feeling fulfilled. Ask yourself what is or are the passions deep inside that push you to seek out certain hobbies, pastimes, certain people with the same?

I'll give you an example. One of the things that make me passionate about certain things in life is that I am a nurturing person deep at core. This nurturing desire needs to be expressed and has been through several different avenues. For one, being a mother and raising my kids, now grandkids, loving planting and tending a garden, and yes, giving advice in an advice column. All of these things require a person driven by nurture, such as my wanting to be of help to you, to see you break free of whatever is holding you back in life or keeping you unhappy.

Once you have defined yourself with some really good descriptive words or scenerios, you will be drawing on this list to make a specific list of criteria of what is most important in a guy.
If you need help with the list of yourself, please just ask me and I will help.

Now, for the list of what you feel is Mr. Right for you.
Actually, there will be two lists. A list of Must Haves, things which if missing are a deal breaker because they are that important to you. Do not let any guy tell you that your criteria is extremely unreasonable. I got that often. It means the guy can't meet your criteria, can't meet your Must Haves and wants you to lower your standard for them and they don't give a crap about who you are and why these are your criteria. A deal breaker would be “I want a guy who wants to have kids” “I want a guy who isn't afraid to commit, settle down and marry” “I want a guy who is open minded spiritually and will allow me to believe whatever I do without trying to convert me to his belief” “I want a guy who never raises his voice to me and is able to calmly talk things out.” “I want a guy who isn't a smoker or recreational drug user”.
I for example am very allergic to cigarette smoke or the lingering odor of it. Guys who smoked met with me pretending at first that they didn't. Sitting across a table at a restaurant first time, I couldn't pick it up but when riding in their car on a later date it was heavy cigarette odor in there. He claimed he didn't smoke but later by habit pulled out a cigarette and felt it was okay to lie to me cus I might fall in love once I got to know him and the cigarette smoke wouldn' t matter. It mattered that strongly to me and pissed off a couple guys real badly but you have to stick with what you want. This helps to eliminate guys with major character faults, such as being inconsistent, liars, cheaters, etc....

Do not worry that this is extreme. In fact it has been found in tests done that men (the good ones worth having) are attracted to a woman who knows what she wants, a woman who will stick by it without making excuses or apologizing for it, not afraid to ask for or state what she wants. This attitude is basically having a strong self confidence and self confidence in a woman is what made these good men choose the confident woman over the model types in looks in a test case study.

The other list is the what you want, like the icing on the cake. It is not a need or requirement but would be nice. This list you don't share with the guy. Its for yourself in case you find several guys who meet all the critieria of your other list, to help you choose from among them.
So here is where you find things like, he likes to go dancing, he is a musician or sings well, he likes gardening, has interest in meditation, has long hair, has a 6 pack. I listed that I wanted a man who was height and weight proportionate. This means maybe there might be some chub but basically they will look reasonably okay without looking like a body builder. These things are not deal breakers to me, but if they are to you, then they're in the wrong list. This list is things you would like to see but if you don't get them, you can live without it, for the rest of your life.

I promise, these lists will help. You'll also refine it or think of things to add as you run across guys or problems that you didn't think needed to be in a list. Then if not using a dating site and posting these out there right in the beginning, at least on a 2nd date if a guy asks you out twice, (means he is reasonably interested in you) tell him you have something important you need to share with him. It's important to you. Then recite your list to him. If afraid you may leave something important off, have copies of your list in your purse to hand out to a guy. If he looks at you like this must be a joke or asks such, keep calm and smile nicely and let him know that you are very serious and have resorted to this measure because simply going out with just random guys in the past and into a relationship resulted in the wrong guy each time. It is okay to give examples if he asks. Make no excuses. If he gets upset or has a problem with any of your criteria, you could ask him why, but you can't rely at this early stage whether he may be telling the truth or not to get you to trust him and lower your standards. It is best to tell him you've decided to not consider him, as if he was an applicant for a job and his resume just isn't enough to get the position of 'boyfriend'. Think of yourself as your own human resources manager, looking for the perfect applicant for the available position of 'boyfriend.' Obviously, you will have to turn away many hopefuls. I even had some guys beg me to choose them by the end of a first time meet up. That killed it. Spoke volumes of them feeling insecure, wimpy as males, and having low self esteem, all of which I wished to avoid.
Hope this helps you

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26/f

Let's call him Danny.

I met Danny through my sister. My sister and I were taking a group of people out of town and Danny was one of those people. Danny was on that trip with a girl he was dating.

According to the girl, they had only known each other for two weeks and were dating for only one. For some reason, I thought it was a red flag because based on seeing how things went, it looked like it was moving really quickly.

Danny told me he did not think it was pressured to move that quickly and it just seemed natural to do it that way. He liked how she didn't want to change him, etc. Also, let me mention that he said this when he was sober.

Danny challenged me to drink more than him for some reason. I did not want to do it, but then he called me out of the group chat and I thought because of his "big ego" he needed to be knocked down a peg or two, so I accepted the challenge. The one thing I noticed while this challenge was happening, he was hanging around me and the other people more than he was hanging out with the girl he was dating. Because of that, I kept redirecting him back to her (she does not drink).

Toward the end of the night, I noticed that he was borderline flirting with me. He would make certain comments and ask me where I was. When my sister sent him and the girl home, he was texting me asking me where I was, etc.

The next day, things were back to normal. We weren't really talking but I noticed that even though he was next to her, he would message me. Nothing inappropriate, though.

When the trip was over and we were all back in the same city, he was still messaging me. He told me if he wasn't dating the girl, he wouldn't have met me and the other amazing people on the trip. He also said if he WASN'T dating her and he somehow managed to have met me beforehand, he would've hit on me.

Fast forward to later on that week, because he "lost" the competition, he wanted a rematch. Because he's helping my sister find a job in his company, I wanted to be nice so I accepted to go out again. He invited his friend out, as well.

The night started off with us two, and it ended with us two. I remember snippets of what had happened. I remember him kissing me and telling me that he liked me. I remember him saying he told his friend I wasn't feeling well and that he was going to take me home. I remember that we did have sex--yes, it was consensual. I remember us having sex twice.

I woke up the next morning and we both had a hangover. I don't know if we were both still drunk but it seemed like as everything started to clear up, things got awkward. I tried to be as normal as possible, no matter how uncomfortable I had felt.

I know he wanted to do it again before I made him get up and out of bed. And after we were out of bed and we got dressed, we grabbed some food because I thought he needed it since he wasn't feeling too well. We spoke here and there the remaining of that day.

And since then, we haven't spoken. I don't know if it's because he felt guilty, or if he got what he wanted. But I'm having a hard time processing the whole thing. I know it was a mistake and both parties are both at fault.

Let me clarify that I have no interest in dating him. I knew there was something about him that was off, and I was trying to figure out what it was because everyone kept saying he was really nice to people, but for some reason he was mean to me/picking on me.

Part of me wants to know what he's thinking and why the sudden change of talking to me--does he feel guilty? What was he thinking the whole time? What should I do? I want to speak with him about what happened but at the same time, I want to forget that it even happened and move on.

Forget it ever happened. And next time, do not accept any challenge from another person, especially a guy flirting with you. He wanted to get you drunk for a reason. This guy sounds nasty and a real player. Just forget him.

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I’m a 13 year old girl and I’m trying to lose weight. Recently I got back from a vacation and was a little jet lagged and I don’t like coffee so I thought I’d try a cup of tea to keep me awake and I’ve started to have a cup of tea every night while I’m sitting in bed reading etc. Is this bad for me? Will it get in the way of me losing weight?

It is easy to find teas that state on the package no caffeine. YOu'll find this in mostly Herbal teas but also any caffeine teas that have been decaffeinated.
I am posting a link to 22 teas reported to help a little with weight loss. Of course, remember to go light on sugar. Or you could try Stevia, only pure Stevia extract, not the blends with something else added in. Stevia is a herb plant with leaves that are sweet like sugar but its supposed to be healthier than granulated cane sugar.

https://www.eatthis.com/21-best-teas-for-weight-loss/

Also the Yogi brand of teas usually sold in more choies at health food stores have some weight loss or slimming teas.

https://pic.made-in-china.com/4f0j00WBzaVeRJCocl/Yogi-Blueberry-Slim-Life-Tea-Supplement.jpg

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I’m talking to this guy for the second time. I’m not a virgin although I’m not sure if he is or not. Although he is the type to be a virgin. We have talked freaky before we established the talking stage and I’ve sent a few nudes, but I would really like to take things slow. I know with his last gf she didn’t send nudes at all or have sex with him Bc of her religious stuff I believe. But he wants to go to lunch and stuff and I’ve been so anxious about that Bc I’m afraid he’ll try and do stuff based on a past horrid experience. But he is a super nice guy and and seems like he wouldn’t do something I’m not comfortable with. I’m just a super nervous person and don’t know what to do or say to him to clarify that I’d like to take things slow bc I want an actual relationship and something that will last. What do I do/say? What do I do about lunch/dates too? P.s. I’ve known him for about six or seven years and is a good guy.

In the beginning of a relationship, people fail to set boundaries and or discuss rules. This is actually VERY important, not just a nice thought and can include finding out if the person you want to date is wanting to marry and looking if you are, and wants children someday is you are. Those are two common samples that have even engaged couples splitting up when they discover what they want differs. And it is more painful after so much time invested. So even for wanting to work on friendship first before adding sex in, that is just as reasonable to discuss in the beginning. The majority of guys out there are actually drawn to women who express what they do and don't want, even at the beginning. They see it as being self confident and that is something men find attractive with the exception of men with low self esteem, who feel threatened by such a woman or who are not willing to agree with their boundaries, in which case, stating your boundaries will get rid of the guys you wouldn't want to consider for a date. I don't understand if you refer to a past horrid experience of your own or of his past. But either way, talking about what you are looking for right now, or even looking for in a man is not unreasonable if he is interested to see you a second time. To make sure he is listening and not distracted by being on a regular date, ask to see him because you have some things you want to discuss because you do want to see him again. Then
meet somewhere conducive to talking. I always met a guy from a dating site at a coffee shop but that was me. And I stated all the things I wanted and didn't want. (ex had a temper and yelled and verbally abused so I wanted a man who didn't have a temper and would never raise his voice to me. I let them know all ahead of time, before even a real date, what I would and would not tolerate. Almost all the men were okay with that. The way they think, it comes across as reasonable to them. So I am not spouting off a silly idea, I have done this and it works. I am now happily remarried to a wonderful man.
You will have to find the guts to bring this up. Either that, or say nothing and be upset when the thing you want to avoid may start happening. If a guy is really into a gal, he will not change his personality per se but change the little things that would also bother you. I had to do that only twice in 9 years with the husband, stuff I did not think to mention up front. If you think about it, it is much more fair to the guy to know ahead of time what things to avoid doing so he doesn't upset you or lose you. It's like trying to play a new board game with knowing any of the game rules. YOu just aren't going to do it right or get far in the game, same in relationships.

As far as sending nude pics, make sure you don't do any more because what he said is true.

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I have flat feet, idk if that makes it worse, but my toes and the bottom of my feet get really sore when I’m walking and standing for hours. I can barely walk at the end of the day. I’m limping. I tried inserts, they do nothing. I even tried different shoes. I have to stand/walk for hours at work. What can I do to stop the pain and limping?

This is something you will need to see a foot specialist about. So you probably have to see your general doctor to get a referral. There are shops that specialize in shoes just for the usual feet problems. I know because I had to take a client as her caregiver to one. It costs more than regular shoes but would be the best for a long work day on your feet. I think she had a discount because her Dr. wrote a prescription to get a pair of shoes at that shop. Can't say it works that way in your area but it is worth looking into.

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My ex boyfriend messaged me saying, “you’re genuine but my destiny is already marked” with a sad emoji face and I asked back what do you mean, he said,” trust me” and “goodnight.” What’s he mean? Because we broke up but still in touch but he’s got gf now but I’m still single. I keep messaging him asking when he’s coming to visit me or catching up or is that the reason he’s fed up with me? I’m sad that I haven’t still gotten over him and I know I must. Sorry guys. We’re in our late 20’s. But why “ trust me” he said? No judgemental answers please

If he wants you to stop messaging him and this is his way of saying that now, that even keeping in touch as friends isn't going to happen, then it sure would have been nice for him to spell it out. I think you will have to write again and say, I didn't understand. Are you wanting us to never communicate ever again?

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So I’ve only had 4 driving lessons and I have 6 more. My driving instructor critizes everything I do. He says I don’t listen to him and that I’m not watching my surroundings even thoughI am. I always listen to him but when I do multiple mistakes it’s a problem. Mind you I don’t get to practice at home because we only have one car and my dad uses it for work from 7am to 7pm and when he’s home I’m at work. The only time i get to practice is during my driving lessons. Also my driving lessons are once a week. However he always expects me to know everything but I feel like I’m not improving because of how spaced out my lessons are. Today he said I’m not controlling the car meanwhile he’s holding the steering wheel, he won’t let me steer at all and he’s accelerating the gas, pressing the brakes etc. Then when I do it he gets mad again saying that I’m not listening to him. What do I do? Last week I ended up crying during my lesson because it was only my third one and he already expected me to check my blind spots, change lanes, turn the car properly etc . Meanwhile I was never taught to check my blind spots (maybe it’s commen sense but whatever), I still have trouble turning etc. After he saw me crying he apologized saying he realized it was only my third lesson but he’s just being hard cause that’s what makes a good driver I understand that bad his approach is discouraging making me feel like I don’t know anything. Today it got to the point where he told me to get out of the drivers seat and he showed me how to turn and then when I got back and couldn’t do it he got mad and ended the lesson saying I don’t listen. Then he asked if I wanted to drive cause it seems like I don’t want to. Any tips on how I should approach the situation? My friend said I can call and ask for another instructor but if I do I’d have to start from square one.

You are not catching on because you're not teachable, you just don't have enough practice time and experience and a class is really only going to help you polish up what you already know. As for blind spots, Lordy girl, that is one of the major causes of accidents besides following too closely and not being able to stop in time. I am mentioning driving style rather than texting and driving which is skyrocketing cause of accidents. You will need to learn how to handle driving and blind spots. The blind spot is different with each different car you use.
Heres an idea, if the family car is not available for you to practice, how about an aunt or uncle who lives close by and may be willing to help out? My daughter already had a drivers license but wanted to learn to drive stick which I had. We did not go out on an roads but went to a nearly empty parking lot where she got to practice without the concern of the road and how to drive among other cars. You first need to become comfortable with your ability to handle a car in a parking lot, get down the smooth stops and smooth turns, etc. before even going on the road. I vote for getting a new instructor and starting over as you need the extra time.

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My boyfriend and I have always used protection (condoms) and to be totally open he has a hard time ejaculating because of a medical condition he has so it's only happened once in the two months we've been together. We have sex around twice a week for several hours, but we're always super careful about using condoms and if one gets too worn out, he always puts on a new one.

There was one time he rubbed against me without one, but it was my inner thigh and I didn't feel any precum.

I've also only had sex with him of course.

Strangely enough though I feel as though I'm fairly late on my period. I say feel because I'm not positive when the last one I had was though I estimate it was more than a month ago (I'll for sure be keeping track now).

I've also had cramps on and off that feel like menstrual cramps, but then didn't get my period. In fact, about two weeks ago I was absolutely certain I was getting it due to intense cramps, but never did.

I have been stressed out lately so maybe it's just that, but I'm starting to get worried and plan on taking a pregnancy test next weekend if I don't get it by then.

It seems pretty difficult to say I've gotten pregnant considering the circumstances though right?

Nothing is 100% fail proof. Condoms are pretty good but not fail proof. They can have a tiny hole, big enough for sperm to get out or cum leaks up out the sides as he is pulling out and I've heard of guys who don't pull out fast enough, shrink up some and the filled condom remains inside the female. The pill is up there, 90 some percent if used as prescribed but change of time of day or skipping a day increases chances of being pregnant.You didn't mention taking the pill. That can make your body have symptoms of pregnancy like the cramps. If you do not take it, then there must be another reason. A pregnancy test is the best way to find out for sure. Take it now and again in a couple weeks if period hasn't started. You might also want to see a gynecologist to rule out any kind of menstrual conditions that need medical treatment. Stress will delay a cycle easily as well as living with or working with and being around other females a big chunk of each day. Females cycles will change to come sooner or start later so they can all occur at the same time. Its happened to me and All the women I worked with in an all female department..

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Hi I’m Angel... I’m 35 years old... about 6 months again I met a guy while shopping at the store... he’s 53 by the way and this is the first time in my life where I dated someone with that much of an age difference... we hit it off automatically with our first conversation... I mean, we have so much in common. I haven’t been in a relationship before him in about 8 years... And two months into us getting to know each other he admitted to me that he was in a 12 year relationship and he just broke up with his ex... at the time I was hurt. I felt lied to and betrayed... yet I continued to date him because I felt it was still early and ppl do sometimes come with baggage... now flash forward 4 months, and his ex still calls him when I’m over his house, back to back sometimes... and we’re still in the dating stage... he told me that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now, he just want to continue to be friends and date.... but I don’t want that I want to be in a relationship.... I’m not getting any younger and my goals is to grow with someone and one day get married... and I reallly like him, we spend time together every time he has an off day... we talk everyday, for hours...it’s just the commitment part missing... a part of me feel like I should move on and the other part of me wants to stay... but, I’m uncertain whether I should move on or not... he made it clear he does not want a relationship... I’ve never met any of his family only his brother... we mostly 90% of the time just hang out at his home... he has lots of female friends and his ex still calls a lot... lastly he’s going out of town with a group of friends I have no idea who they are... and he wants me to check on his house get his mail for him while he’s gone and last night he told me that there might be days and nights where he won’t be able to talk to me while on vacay because that’s how he is on his vacation that I didn’t get invited to in the first place... help me guys... I think I love this man but I don’t know what to so

Since you mention he's 53 and also divorced, I'd like to speak for that age group and how those people think. I am almost 60, left my ex 10 years ago. I know others my age group too also divorced and they all feel the same as I do, there is no reason to get married the second time around. Lots of those approaching retirement are finding they will get lots less in benefits if married. However we come from a generation where there was more of those who had commitment in relationships. I mention this in case this is what he meant by not wanting a relationship. My husband and I are together for 9 years now and never legally married. However we know we want to grow old together. We still consider each other husband and wife as do other older couples who are together but not married. So you need to talk and find out if it is marriage he doesn't want to go through again but may be open to being committed to the right person for the rest of his life. At least you know he is not lying about having an ex because you are able to go to his home. A guy i met once would not invite me over ever. When I pressed, he disappeared because he was planning to cheat for the firs time and got cold feet because he knew there wasn't a way to hide the fact he had a wife from me for too long. I am one who asked questions and didn't accept non answers or words that didn't explain much or couldn't be understood.
Now on the other hand, he is two months with you. If he were as crazy about you and my husband was about me, he would be on the phone every night talking to you, even if on vacation. Better yet, he would have done what he can to bring you along. I understand if a vacation involves plane tickets or reservations at some lodge, there may have been a limit on number of people. I am sure he knew about this upcoming vacation long enough to have wanted to find a way to include you at extra cost at the very end if he was really crazy about you and couldn't bare to be apart. My 2nd husband, once we met at his place so I could meet his teen daughter, couldn't wait to see me again and each time we were together he asked if the next day would work or day after. When a guy is 100% into the girl, this is how he acts so I can tell you his interest is not 100%. I can't say where it falls. It may be enough for him but that may not be enough for you. All you can do is tell him what you want and that as far as you can see, though you have a lot in common, that some major things you both want are so different that it is a deal breaker for you to spend any more time with him as anything more than a friend. You don't mind hanging out with him as a friend, with no benefits but you will continue your search for a man who does want to commit and marry and is in love. I too met guys I thought I could love but too soon found a crucial issue that meant I should keep looking. Females fall in love way too quickly and easily. Your feelings/emotions can lead you astray from what is right for you and you end up settling for less than is right for you. Think about females in bad or abusive relationships. Not all but many are in love with their crappy excuse for a man or abuser. That is why you shouldn't rely on just the feeling. He may have been so burnt out by his marriage that he doesn't want to ever love again, just find someone to while away the time with. You are either going to be strong enough to say such a thing and walk away from him or put up with less than you really wanted. I am not talking about his age...that is not the problem, just his commitment. If you can tell him its only friendship for you and you start dating others again, he will know you are serious. Especially if you are not available to hang out because you are out on a date. It is a situation like this that may bring up his deepest wishes he didn't know he had but were buried subconsciously. If he knows he is going to lose a chance at having you in a committed relationship, he is forced to admit to himself if he has feelings or not. If he does have enough interest to commit you will hear from him. Otherwise, he'll being wishing you luck on finding that guy and you will have the answer you seek, that he is not in love with you, just loves some aspects of you. But that is not enough for a successful relationship.

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I am about to be in my 30's and I have the worst luck with guys. I have many books on relationships and they have helped in the past. However, I am meeting all the wrong guys. Everytime I like a guy they don't like me back or I seem to attract creeps. I'm seriously stuck in a rut and have no idea what is wrong with me. I have been trying so hard to focus on myself and have been going to school with working. All my life I have had no luck with guys and constantly get hurt. Everytime I meet a guy something goes wrong and they are unavailable. I am so sick and tired of running in this unhealthy cycle of meeting creeps or jerks who have no interest. This last guy I liked I thought we had a connection then he ghost me out of no where. Next, I think I like this guy and now I think he's starting to ghost me as well but he's younger than me. I have completely lost faith in guys and everytime I like someone I end up getting hurt. I barely go out and have to focus on school. I've tried online dating and it's beyond disgusting and ridiculous. All I want to do is date- is that so bad? I feel like I am the only girl who is out there like this. I am working on myself and trying to work on my image. I don't do the hook up culture. I am just so sick and tired of liking someone then getting crapped on. I have no idea what to do. Just be nice to have someone to go out and do stuff with. Is it wrong to go after young guys? I usually prefer older guys but sometimes I think maybe some younger guys aren't that bad? Now I just think every guy is the same and the same cycle will just go back and hurt me again. Am I the only person who has bad luck with the opposite sex? What's wrong with me? I'm starting to think it's the area I live in but honestly I just think it's the disgusting culture we live in and how selfish people are.

You are at the age when some guys who were just playing around are now ready to be serious and find the woman they want to marry and grow old with. Guys in their twenties for the most part resemble teenage boys more than resembling adult men in their behavior and also other things. So it really isn't your fault that you haven't found someone yet. There are also more females than males in society. However I may have something that could help. After a divorce, I knew what I didn't want. I created a list of what I needed and wanted in a male but came up with that list after being able to write the equivalent of a resume for myself, that highlights my strengths and weaknesses and what I need in a male. First marriage was abusive so I needed a man who had no temper, didn't yell and would build up a person rather than tear them down. I got exactly what I wanted but had to date a lot of guys for about two years before he wrote to me. To be fair, he'd seen my dating profile earlier but thought I was too good to be true so he refused to write for at least a year of that time. So for you, it could take less time. I will paste in the instructions which you can use same in regular dating as in dating sites. However if you don't want to wait too much longer to find a guy who wants to marry and have kids, then it is best to find them on a dating site that one has to pay to join. Scammers are everywhere. They put in little about themselves and won't meet in person and create crisis all the time and then ask to borrow money...big amounts. I am not rich enough to have a spare $50 or $100 that isn't earmarked for a bill. So a site like Match.com is a place more likely to narrow down the search for possibilities of men your age who do want to meet in person and aren't asking for cash. Keep in mind that even if on screen a guy sounds perfect and I met some like that, when we met in person we both realized that we did not have chemistry, even if we had liked each others looks. This is that kind of chemistry needed to make a romantic kiss send all sorts of good sensations rushing through you. Without chemistry, a kiss would be gross, feel yucky, like a male relative just gave you a romantic kiss. So whether you meet in person or narrow it down faster on line the list making to find Mr Right should help. And anytime you have a question or what my opinion on what a guy wrote to you or in his profile to spot possible problems and avoid them, let me know and I'd be glad to help out. Heres that info I promised:

How to find Mr. Right
First, how well do you know yourself? I used a dating site 2nd time around. It worked for me to find my true love. However, to fill out a profile for yourself, to really describe yourself, your personality and who you are at core, is hard to do, like writing about your work strengths in a resume. So this is just as important as a resume only more so. You can easily leave a job that doesn't work out. Its much harder with a boyfriend or husband. So its best to be able to describe yourself well for those few you meet who may be promising. This is not just those met online but any you meet in person as you're out and about. They will have something specific they are looking for as well and need to be able to recognize the possibility that you may be the one for them. Or hopefully they will, if not, they may not recognize that you are the one for him and that is too bad for him. You want a guy who sees the real you inside too and will know he wants you, the whole package. You'll need this list or bio on yourself before you can form the list of what you are looking for in a guy.

So, ask yourself what it is in life that lights you up, makes you not just happy but content and feeling fulfilled. Ask yourself what is or are the passions deep inside that push you to seek out certain hobbies, pastimes, certain people with the same?

I'll give you an example. One of the things that make me passionate about certain things in life is that I am a nurturing person deep at core. This nurturing desire needs to be expressed and has been through several different avenues. For one, being a mother and raising my kids, now grandkids, loving planting and tending a garden, and yes, giving advice in an advice column. All of these things require a person driven by nurture, such as my wanting to be of help to you, to see you break free of whatever is holding you back in life or keeping you unhappy.

Once you have defined yourself with some really good descriptive words or scenerios, you will be drawing on this list to make a specific list of criteria of what is most important in a guy.
If you need help with the list of yourself, please just ask me and I will help.

Now, for the list of what you feel is Mr. Right for you.
Actually, there will be two lists. A list of Must Haves, things which if missing are a deal breaker because they are that important to you. Do not let any guy tell you that your criteria is extremely unreasonable. I got that often. It means the guy can't meet your criteria, can't meet your Must Haves and wants you to lower your standard for them and they don't give a crap about who you are and why these are your criteria. A deal breaker would be “I want a guy who wants to have kids” “I want a guy who isn't afraid to commit, settle down and marry” “I want a guy who is open minded spiritually and will allow me to believe whatever I do without trying to convert me to his belief” “I want a guy who never raises his voice to me and is able to calmly talk things out.” “I want a guy who isn't a smoker or recreational drug user”.
I for example am very allergic to cigarette smoke or the lingering odor of it. Guys who smoked met with me pretending at first that they didn't. Sitting across a table at a restaurant first time, I couldn't pick it up but when riding in their car on a later date it was heavy cigarette odor in there. He claimed he didn't smoke but later by habit pulled out a cigarette and felt it was okay to lie to me cus I might fall in love once I got to know him and the cigarette smoke wouldn' t matter. It mattered that strongly to me and pissed off a couple guys real badly but you have to stick with what you want. This helps to eliminate guys with major character faults, such as being inconsistent, liars, cheaters, etc....

Do not worry that this is extreme. In fact it has been found in tests done that men (the good ones worth having) are attracted to a woman who knows what she wants, a woman who will stick by it without making excuses or apologizing for it, not afraid to ask for or state what she wants. This attitude is basically having a strong self confidence and self confidence in a woman is what made these good men choose the confident woman over the model types in looks in a test case study.

The other list is the what you want, like the icing on the cake. It is not a need or requirement but would be nice. This list you don't share with the guy. Its for yourself in case you find several guys who meet all the critieria of your other list, to help you choose from among them.
So here is where you find things like, he likes to go dancing, he is a musician or sings well, he likes gardening, has interest in meditation, has long hair, has a 6 pack. I listed that I wanted a man who was height and weight proportionate. This means maybe there might be some chub but basically they will look reasonably okay without looking like a body builder. These things are not deal breakers to me, but if they are to you, then they're in the wrong list. This list is things you would like to see but if you don't get them, you can live without it, for the rest of your life.

I promise, these lists will help. You'll also refine it or think of things to add as you run across guys or problems that you didn't think needed to be in a list. Then if not using a dating site and posting these out there right in the beginning, at least on a 2nd date if a guy asks you out twice, (means he is reasonably interested in you) tell him you have something important you need to share with him. It's important to you. Then recite your list to him. If afraid you may leave something important off, have copies of your list in your purse to hand out to a guy. If he looks at you like this must be a joke or asks such, keep calm and smile nicely and let him know that you are very serious and have resorted to this measure because simply going out with just random guys in the past and into a relationship resulted in the wrong guy each time. It is okay to give examples if he asks. Make no excuses. If he gets upset or has a problem with any of your criteria, you could ask him why, but you can't rely at this early stage whether he may be telling the truth or not to get you to trust him and lower your standards. It is best to tell him you've decided to not consider him, as if he was an applicant for a job and his resume just isn't enough to get the position of 'boyfriend'. Think of yourself as your own human resources manager, looking for the perfect applicant for the available position of 'boyfriend.' Obviously, you will have to turn away many hopefuls. I even had some guys beg me to choose them by the end of a first time meet up. That killed it. Spoke volumes of them feeling insecure, wimpy as males, and having low self esteem, all of which I wished to avoid.

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18/f/South Africa
When I was 9-13 I was sexually abused by my brother in law. The first time I came out with it, my sister didn't believe me. The 2nd time, nothing was done and the 3rd time, she finally left him and it stopped. I had a hard time coping with it in grade 7 (13) and started cutting. My best friend at the time knew about it and helped me. From grade 8-11 I was fine and thought i got over it. All of a sudden in the beginning of this year I started remembering things I forgot and it started affecting me. I started cutting again and it is always on my mind. I became really close to this new girl in my class, and she knows about it, so she and my best friend are the only people I can speak to. I actually can't handle it anymore. I break down almost every night because of new thoughts of the abuse. On my birthday in June, he messaged me to say happy birthday and that he regrets hurting me and I believe him. It sucks because I feel bad for him and miss the good side of him because he was like a dad to me. I just want to talk to him about it and just get closure, but I know my mom would never allow that.
Question is, why is this all coming back now and what do I do about it? I can't afford to go to a therapist and I don't want to tell my family about it.

No, no no, do not get together for a visit with the man who sexually abused you. He might be sorry for his past but seeing him won't bring closure, it can only make things worse for you. The only thing that will really help you to deal with an abusive past is to go see a counselor. I was verbally abused and after leaving my ex, even I needed counseling to get past that. As for why you didn't think much of it before and now its' flooding back, well that happens to be a coping mechanism everyone is born with. Children who often have no chance to turn to anyone for help when they are under 18 and still minors will find their brains are wired to forget, ignore and bury the traumatic events. Then once they are legally adults or close to that time, the past will come back, surfacing from the depths so that you can now go have it dealt with professionally.

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So this is my last year of high school and I'm not scared for it but I am scared of becoming an adult. I have super controlling parents that are really strict. I do hate my life a lot and I know a lot of people think that's just so typical of teenagers but I don't know. A lot of times I don't feel loved but alone. My dad acts like he loves me but he gets mad over the little things and yells. I feel emotionally abused and I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy my life when I am 18 but I don't have my papers such as social security, birth certificate,etc. I am scared to ask for the papers, and I know they won't let me move out because they're religious. I used to joke about it to my mom and she got so mad and told me never to joke about stupid stuff like that. I just want to enjoy my teenage years but they're all gone, I don't even go to school dances because my parents wouldn't allow me to hang out outside of our house, they allow me to bring my friend over but nothing else. I never experienced the high school life. I want to enjoy my life because I can't regain the 17 years I've missed. I don't even have money to move out, I am so impatient though I really need help and I don't know what to do when I graduate, I know I can't wait any longer and stay. Please help and give me good advice.

Everything adviceman said, I agree with. The practicality of where to live and how to earn money is probably the hurdle freaking you out most. Start asking around, maybe of the friends you know who are going out of state to college have parents who know you well enough and would let you stay in the vacant bedroom. There's always renting a room from someone you don't know but that could be dangerous. I would suggest talking to your pastor for help but since your parents are so bad, it might actually be the church they attend. I've been in some very strict and crazy churches in the past. If you don't mind church, for now, try to find one on your own or soon after you turn 18 or graduate. My own daughter who wanted to be independent asap after turning 18, had been attending a different church for about a year and was in choir there so everyone knew her. She asked the pastor to help her find out if a member might have a room she could stay in and rent for real cheap. An older woman agreed and she went to live there. You do have to ask around for help like this of other adults than your parents and asking those you know you can trust is a good choice.

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would u date/marry a woman with kids that are NOT yours and she is getting no child support/no help from the bio father/fathers?

I may not be male but I do know that there are males who will marry a female with prior kids and no child support.
My very own example is my daughters ex husband. She left him. I still consider him family and he is Dad to a child they had together. He married a gal he knew from HS who had two boys each with different Dads. He brought the one daughter and together they had another girl to add to the mix. She has no child support on either. I don't recall the why on one but the other is a child molester that she doesn't wnat contact with or for him to find out where she is at so she never bothered to get child support to keep her son safe.

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So I’m a 13 year old girl and I got my period about 6 Months ago? ( not sure exactly when) And my period was starting to be predictable and then all of the sudden my period is 4 days late! I’m not sexually active (again, I’m 13) and I’m going on vacation with my dad and 4 step brothers in 3 days. Is it normal? When should I expect it again? Am I going to get it while I’m away??

Bring supplies with you anywhere you go. At your age, the body is still getting used to the changes and won't be consistent for a while, even if it is for a handful of months, it can also stop for a few or be two weeks earlier or later. It happened to me when I was 14. I also learned the same thing happens again in menopause, it becomes irregular like that til it stops. SO don't worry, this is entirely normal.

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We’re in our early 30’s. Dated for a few months but we broke up because of certain issues. Yet we’re still mates and in contact. However, my question is he told me if he was single he wouldn’t hesitate to live with me. when I asked him was it just for sex all this time because we did date and we were friends before dating and we’re still friends getting to the point now, anyhow when I asked him was it all just for sex he said no no no no, even you know that that’s not true so what does all this mean when an ex bf says I won’t hesitate to live with you if I was single?? It’s not about sex even you know that it’s not true meaning?? What did he exactly mean? I feel that he still loves me otherwise he wouldn’t say such things like won’t hesitate and all. I hope I’m not being paranoid as I just wish to know.....Thank you

When did you know he wasn't single, before you dated or some time after? If you knew, then hon, this tangled mess and him having to tell half truths or make up stuff so you don't get angry at him is what comes with the package of being the mans second lover. In ages ago, only the rich had mistresses and wives and it was an accepted thing and those women were taken care of. But in todays time, a man doesn't have enough resources to fully take care of you and a girlfriend/wife. I wouldn't trust any words from a man who would cheat on the first lady in his life. For all you know, he is totally making up the 'I won’t hesitate to live with you if I was single' thing. It's very possible he is saying the very things he thinks you'd want to hear to keep you satisfied to still be with him in this configuration. Right now, I'd say that when he said "no no no no, even you know..." that he used so many No's because his mind needed time to come up with words to lead you to believe its not all about sex as you asked. He didn't give a real answer but tossed it back at you as you should know this. That is to make you feel guilty for asking so you no longer ask or try to dig too deep. If you'd rather remain his number two and be just his sex partner, then you don't have to do anything different. Stop worrying about interpreting what he says because you probably can't trust what he says anyways. Just turn a blind eye and keep enjoying what you have if you still want this.

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So a month ago this guy I had been talking to asked me out. I enjoyed talking with him so much. We argue like cats and dogs, but he did always make me laugh and I’m adhd so I get easily confused so he found that hilarious. This was where we actually got along really well. My best friend stayed over at my house and he called and asked me what my favorite restaurant was. I was focused on finding a remote so I answered the question and didn’t think a lot about it. We got off the phone and he said we should go out to eat at the restaurant I mentioned. We got into a text argument. It was something ridiculous. Misunderstanding. I messaged him and said our argument was ridiculous and if he’d like to move on from it and he agreed. Then yesterday he posted he was in a relationship. It’s only been a month and he said she was the best so I guess I feel like I lost someone good. He is bipolar and it was him that started this last argument, but I feel like I should’ve stepped up sooner. Even though he says things are good he hasn’t been messaging really. I always thought of him as a friend, but now since seeing that and not talking with him for a while I realize maybe I liked him more than I realized. I guess I’m feeling....jealous? I’ve never been jealous about someone having a guy a had a “crush” on. I didn’t even realize I could feel this way. If I could just keep him as a friend that would be enough for me, but I feel like he’s trying to cut the conversation off since he’s asked me out before. It’s not the fact that I’m a girl since he’ll message my best friend Haley sometimes as a friend. But he’s never had a crush on her. On one hand I want to date him, but I also want him to be happy. If she makes him happy I should be happy for him. I just want to keep him as a friend if anything. What do I do? I’ve never felt this kind of jealousy in all my 20 years

Jealousy is all about a fear of loss. You found him and what you feel is because you think you will lose him.
Maybe he was wondering until you called and you both made up because soon after you make up , he posted that he was in a relationship with a gal who was the best ever. He didn't mention a name, did he? I don't think so. And that is why I think he was writing about you. I don't know what social media he posted on but at some point, he must know that you became a contact on the site. If he were trying to date you on the side, he certainly wouldn't be honest, would he? Okay, may he thinks you'd enjoy being number two girlfriend, the more the merrier! Right? No. See how silly that thinking is. Don't worry prematurely until you have a chance to talk to him and say you saw a post he made about a new relationship. Don't go accusing him because if he were innocent he might clam up on you and decide that he doesnt' like how you accuse him and that could push him away. So stop waiting for him to call and call him. If the worst is true, be glad you found out early on. Some guys aren't much into typing so bypass the texting and call or better yet, meet him in person for your talk. You miss out on body language, tone of voice and facial expressions if not in person. When asking a question about who he posted about, best to do so face to face so you can see if he seems uncomfortable or hesitates and answering or looks guilty. Not that these make him guilty, they simply may be something else. But at least, these would give you cause to dig around more and not accept his answer right off. It takes time to build trust so in the beginning, without knowing for sure that one can consistently trust a person because they never veer away from their good behavior, you are left at loose ends with your mind imagining the worst. Don't rule the guy out yet. A guy who is really crazy for a girl will want to show her off, meet the parents and meet his buddies. If he is married or dating someone else, who else would know better than his buddies or even parents. If he absolutely won't let you meet his buddies and parents, then likely he is hiding something. A man who is looking for a woman to spend his future with is going to want to introduce her to family. So give him a chance to really hang himself as my husband puts it. Go along and work situations and conversations to get information innocently from family and buddies. A guy doesn't keep quiet to his buddies about finding a wonderful girl. Heck, I was dating before meeting 2nd husband and the guy got a call from a buddy states away who upon hearing that special gal was with the friend he called, he asked to say HI to me and thats how I found out that guys like to tell their friends if its an honest on the level relationship. He can't take you to hang with him and his buddies if he isn't honest because one is sure to say, Who's this girl? Where is your girlfriend Sharon? If he says he just broke up with her. A friend might say, that doesnt make sense cause just yesterday you were all gaga over her so what happened overnight? See what I mean. SO call, pretend nothing is up and try to find clues. Act pleasant and don't look upset or jealous if you want to go digging for the truth. Hopefully you will find no skeletons in his closet.

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He asked me did you miss me I replied yes and I asked him back did you he said of course now why not say yes i missed you why say of course? was he being sarcastic or fake or saying of course I miss you means as much as yes I missed you? Thanks

Oh my, you are certainly overthinking things, and I am guessing by how you wrote, that you may feel a little self conscious, maybe a lower self esteem than what it should be. Hey, more often than not, females are the ones playing mind games, not the guys when they answer you plainly as he did. He meant what he said, Of course I missed you. The shortened way to say that is Of course.
Boy are you in trouble if you think that a guy has to say I love you often enough to actually love you. Words can be made up but it is in the guys actions that you know how important you are to him. So I am going to give you this list now for the future. It is for women, 7 simple questions to answer about the guy to know if he loves you. The relationship is likely to early for this to be the case but I am betting its headed there and then this will be your next question "Does He really love me?" Read on and save this somewhere to go over later when you've been together a while and see how he rates.

DOES HE LOVE ME?

Either he's doing a bad job of showing it to you or you are doing a bad job of picking up on the signals.
Why some relationships aren't working in a nut shell:
Some women give their love and devotion to a guy who doesn't deserve it, who is wrong for her
while others no matter how plain and simple the signs are of his love and devotion, they don't see it or trust it because of lack of self confidence.

1 A woman's insecurity and neediness will kill a man's love
Do you love me, do you love me? No matter what he says or does, she never believes him, even if he's never done anything to earn her distrust.
2 It's impossible to love others and be loved by others unless you love yourself first.
Don't look to a man for all your self esteem and self worth. Have it already before relationship..
3. Men do not show love the same way women do. For them it's how they feel when she is around and how she fulfills the dreams of the woman he's wanted and how possessive he feels if another man was paying too much attention to her. Some women translate love into his obsession for her and devotion while men translate her love for him as being appreciated and respected.
4. A woman can't change a man because she loves him, a man changes himself because he loves her

7 Questions to know if he really loves you


1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says I love you, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.

How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.

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