Before you approach him make sure you will have the time to prioritize school and have a boyfriend that will understand that. If all you want is to explain yourself, I would not say too much. We all freak out from time to time, and you don't want to get all emotional and freak him out. Guys are more forgiving then girls are in general. They really are simple creatures of few words. He will appreciate a, "Gosh, it is really good to see you, again. I was really overwhelmed trying to balance my social life and school life last year, but now I think I can handle both. See ya around (Big Gorgeous Smile)." You are home free!

Yes. Get out while you still can. Even if he never hits you, the verbal abuse will eat at your self-esteem. You don't ever have to take that crap from anybody. The next guy you date should treat you with respect. Do not let anyone talk you out of what you deserve. He will not change. You don't want to waste years and maybe have kids with a creep.

Ask your hairdresser/stylist about using a flat iron to straighten your hair when you want to. You may want to start with a few chunky highlights just around your face...but not you bangs. Bangs will grow out funny unless you highlight all over. A-line hair cuts are making a comeback as well as all 80's styles. Asymmetrical cuts where one side is shorter than the other can be spunky and fun. Take the shape of your face into consideration and know where your face is the widest. You don't want a cut that emphasizes your widest area, but you want to create a balanced look. Go to a stylist who will be able to personalize a cut for you.

Love is about giving not taking. You need to be honest and think about what is best for him...the truth. Give him the option to decide for himself if he wants to be with you. Manipulation and deceit will only bring you heartbreak. If you have to pull strings to get someone, then you will always know they did not choose you freely. Victory is never as sweet, when we lie, steal, or cheat. Be brave and follow your heart in being real. At least then, he will know you respected him enough to come clean.

Have fun being creative! Here is a site for the pillows!


http://www.ehow.com/how_8575_make-pillow-sachet.html

That pretty much sucks. Are you sure that your family does not want to take you? Have you told them that you are not feeling the love? Family vacations can be a drag when you don't have much in common and it would be fun to be with someone your age. Is it an option to bring a different friend with you? Talk to your parents and see if they can give you some options. Tell them you aren't trying to be difficult, but you need them to remember you have a point of view.

Like I think you are so right about him being a player, but aren't you kinda like having him on your mind and this other guy, too? No one wants to be ditched for another person, but no one really wants to be just with one person either at your age. Hmmmm....what to do? Until you are an adult and married, you do not have to be in a relationship where you are only commited to one person. It is fun to play couple, but the more serious you take a relationship at your age, the more you will get hurt. Dating is experimental and really about getting to know YOURSELF more than the people you are dating. It is fun and exciting, but dating always brings drama, which can be cool or heartbreaking. If you let go of the idea that you are supposed to find a guy who will totally commit to just you at such a young age, then you will have more fun. Try to get through school without putting yourself at the mercy of the guys you will be dating. Know that everything can change quickly and guys are more interested in making out with many girls then they are interested in a commited relationship to only one girl, even if they think she is the best. He may like you the most, but he does not want to be with just you. Yucky I know, but that is how 99.9 percent of guys are.

Ah bible camp...the ideal place to learn about whether or not someone thinks you are hot. Well, don't let the fact that you met him at church camp make you think he has holy intentions. Does he really know you? If he does not REALLY know you, then it is pretty much a mutual physical attraction. You probably don't know him either, just that he is cute, and returns your attraction. This does not mean the relationship is starting off wrong, because most start of with the stereotypical and superficial skin-deep attractions. What matters, is that you go slowly, because he may not be who you would like him to be. Get to know him, and watch how he is around other people and other pretty faces. Is he someone who would appeal to you as a friend if he was not cute? It feels good to be liked, but sometimes that can lead to trouble if we rush things. Take it slow and enjoy getting to know each other first.

Better to be honest about your expectations now, before someone gets hurt or he hears it from someone els. If having multiple partners is something that appeals to you, then let your boyfriend know that although you really dig him, you realize that at your age you can't be exclusive. I think you have a realistic attitude. Just make sure to practice safe sex, as multiple partners means multiple risks.

You need to see a doctor right away and make sure you get a proper diagnosis. Maybe the yeast infection did not get cleared up. You could be passing it back and forth between you and your boyfriend. Are you using condoms? Some people can have allergies to certain types or to the spermicide. Still, you are better off using condoms to prevent serious diseases. Please refrain from sex (especially unprotected) at least until you get to the doctor for a recheck. Sexual activity opens you up to an array of potential problems, so be aware.

Yeah for you senior year and college plans! Do your best now and you will have more options later. Talk to your highschool guidance counselor as soon as possible about your concerns, and questions. If a State or University does not take you or you cannot get finacial aid etc...you can still go to a very good two-year college which will transfer you to a four year state or university college when you are ready. Do not give up, because when there is a will there is a way. You can even meet with a nearby college counselor to get advice.

If she has just recently gotten on the pill you should wait a while. Also, I would highly suggest that you always and I mean always use condoms. Condoms unlike the pill, will help protect against diseases which either of you could unknowingly have and be spreading. The condoms will also give you extra protection in avoiding pregnancy. You can get them for free at Planned Parenthood.

You and your dad have been through a lot of changes lately, and stress. You are not responsible for anyone else but yourself right now, but try to be respectful and maintain the peace with your dad and family. It may be a bumpy road for a while, and you may have to do a lot of helping out. Be patient with the mood swings and concentrate on your responsibilities at school. To relieve your own stress, find a teacher or counselor at school to talk to. It sounds like your dad is trying really hard to make things work out for everyone, so be supportive. You will make friends if you keep trying, so don't give up!

You are correct about staying out of it as much as possible. You may have an opinion about who is the most trustworthy, but try to keep it to yourself. I believe in innocent until proven guilty, but it sounds like two against one in this case. The man is moving and it is doubtful that any legal action will be taken, anyway. You need to try to not let the situation affect your friendships which are important to maintain. If someone is forcing you to take sides, then they are being selfish. No one can expect you to choose sides based on emotions only, when you don't know the facts for certain.

You might try writing down all the things going on in your head to put them to rest. Closing your eyes and a few deep breaths do it for some people. If this has been a lifelong recurring problem, you could need to talk to a doctor to get help. Maybe you just hate summer homework, and I don't blame you. Try to do the homework at the same time every day, before you are too tired to concentrate. Also, make sure there are no distractions around you, such as T.V. etc..

Sometimes cramping can be prevented if you eat enough potassium filled foods, like bananas. Keep hydrated and call your doctor if the pain persists.

Don't go gathering torches and mobs just yet. He might just get you in trouble with the law if you have no evidence and are making a public spectacle of him. What you should do is talk to the police about why you suspect him. They can run an investigation that is legal if they think you have enough to go on. Leave it to the police, and then leave him alone.

You can't do nothing and expect results. Either be happy with your decision to be a homebody or get out there! Many people are in clubs and have a part-time job while in highschool. If it bothers you that you hang out with younger people than expand your circle to include others your age. If it does not bother you, then why do you care what other people say? Make up your mind to make new friends, or ignore the critics.

Maybe he just needs some space. Whether he is a little depressed over a friend leaving or not, only he can tell you. It is healthy to give each other space for personal time. Even if you are the love of his life, and "nothing can come between" you, I want you to give him breathing room. He may find out he misses you if you give him time. You need to make sure that you are having fun and friends outside of him, also. Otherwise, you two will go from beautiful to boring.

You have taken a lot of abuse for the last four years. Do you want to take it for the next four years, too? Your partner shows no sign of changing or even wanting to change. He is content to be a liar, and abuser and to make your life a living hell. Is that love? You are not doing him any favors by staying with him and accepting his behavior and abuse. He is learning only that he can get away with all his deceits and misbehavior and have someone to take it who loves him and is good to him, without him having to do anything for you. He is in control and dictates the relationship. You have been a willing victim, until now! Thank God you are re-thinking your life. Sometimes we don't want to give up on someone, because we don't see ourselves as good enough for real love, or maybe we were abandoned by someone and we don't want to abandon anyone...even our abuser. I want you to remember a time before you met him, that you felt more whole and better about yourself. You have the strength to escape his hold on you. Get out any way you can and start living! The more time you spend away from this guy, the more you will realize how badly he treated you and how glad you are to have control of your life again. I speak from experience and from the heart.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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