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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

i am 23 years old. my period came regularly on october 28th but then came extremely lighter than usual on november 16th. on the 16th i bled very lightly for 2 days then spotted for two days, i found that weird. my period didnt come again on the 28th like usual, as a matter a fact it still hasnt come yet...that has never happened to me before, i thought i was 6 weeks pregnant but my hpt's are all negative as of today...i took a pregnancy blood test yesterday so hopefully ill find out what the problem is...can i have your opinion?

There are a lot of things that can affect your period other than pregnancy. Did you take a day after pill or anything like that? Those will really mess with your hormones and throw everything off. It could also have been the result of really rough sex. If anything out of the ordinary or stressful has happened in your life lately that could also be the cause. It was very smart of you to get the blood test done. Sometimes the home pregnancy tests are way off. Personally, I don't think that you are pregnant. Try not to worry over it too much. Good luck. :)

I have never done anything like this before, so here I go. I like this guy, and I asked my friend to ask him out for me. He said okay. Then 2 days after I told my friends, they tell me that he never said anything. Then 1 week later, his sister (younger than me by 1 grade, and she is also my bff) tells me he plans on saying yes. Then a week later, my friends who is in the same grade as him (1 grade older than me) tells me that he's planning on saying no. And then his sister tells me that he likes some girl named Abby Blackfeller (Name changed by a lot!!!), and that he doesn't like me. Then he wrote me a note saying "I'm sorry If I've hurt you. I like you, but I don't know if you want to go out with me!" After recieving this note, I am the most confused person ever. This is coming 2 weeks after he wrote the note. I doubt any of you have been in the same situation as me, but answer this as best as you can.

Never leave something like this to other people. Take care of it yourself. Of course he doesn't know if you want to go out with him if you can't even talk to him! It seems like he definitely wants to date you. There should be no reason to be nervous about approaching him. If you can't talk to him now, how do you expect to communicate with him if you go out? Go talk to him today. Ask him out yourself. Get it over and done with and you'll probably end up getting exactly what you want. Good luck. :)

16
male
ok well i have a gf i really really like and this christmas i want to get her something she will never forget money is not really an issue at least if were not talking hundreds of dollars.and well i really want to get her something that will be nothing like she has ever got. she has asked for a bunch of diff prefumes and lotions and stuff but yea ne ideas of what i could do ?

o and on christmas im gonna finnaly tell her that i lover her cuz im not one of those guys that says it the second day after we start going out i wait till i mean it but yea im gonna tell her on christmas im gonna wait for the right moment then wisper it into her ear(this is way of topic but i want to know what ppl think of that good idea or not)

I think you should get her a blanket. Here's why. Girls are very emotional creatures. She'll put a whole bunch of meaning into it. She'll snuggle with it and think about how warm you make her feel and things like that. It would be really nice if you got something embroidered on it too. Something like "I love you [her name], 12/25/06" in the corner with a heart or a rose would be great. When you give it to her you can put some meaning into it yourself. Tell her that you wanted to give her something she would always have to keep her warm and comfort her when you couldn't be there yourself. She'll eat it up. It doesn't matter what kind of blanket you get. Nothing too elaborate. You may have to go to two different stores for the blanket and the embroidery, but I think its worth it. Good luck. I'm sure that she will absolutely love whatever you decide to get her. :)

ok so theres this boy i like...and well i really do like him .but he likes my best friend.. todaii i askd him if he still likes her and he said that he didnt like her the whole lot he did. that he likes her a lil. well we made out todaii and well i think i wanna loose it to him...we r both virgins so thats one good thing about it but i dont want to do it knowing he likes her ..even if he saiis he dont what do you think or what would you do?

I wouldn't do it. You will definitely regret it later in life if you do. It might be nice at the time, but think about what it will be like afterwards. Things will get complicated very quickly. Stay away from this guy for now. He's more trouble than he's worth. If he isn't going to date you, he shouldn't be making out with you. Losing your virginity shouldn't be a goal. It should be very carefully planned and thought through. The time will come. Don't rush it. Don't you want to lose it to someone that really cares about you? Check out this website. It will help you make your decision. :)

http://www.coolnurse.com/sex.htm

Im 13/f and our school graduates at grade 8 and its a big thing. I really want some ideas where to get a grad dress and what type might look good on me. Im like 5'4 very slim like 90 pounds, asian, have a warm skin complexion, and my bra size is only 32A but I might grow a size by then. My hairs just below my sholders and I have choppy bangs. Any ideas my price range is between 100$-300$??

The store Deb has some very nice dresses. They're flirty and fun and would look great on you. They don't have much on their website so see if you can find a store in your area. Good luck!

http://www.debshops.com/home/default.asp

I have frizzy hair and i don't know how to make it unfrizzy. I have tried all different kinds of things and they don't work. Does anyone have any suggestions? thanks :)

My hair was always really frizzy. Nothing would work for it and it looks stupid when I straighten it. I've found that if I don't layer it and I keep it long, it doesn't get frizzy. The absense of the layers and the length weigh it down or something. This exact solution may not work for you, but trying a new hairstyle could greatly reduce the frizz. A hair stylist is probably just going to suggest some useless product for you. Just try some things out, it's not going to make it any worse. Good luck! :)

What are some good songs to warmup to for a high school basketball game?

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor was always my favorite. :)

You can get an album made up entirely of sports jams from any music store. If you are looking for ideas, just go to the store and check out some of the songs that they have on them. It's not like you have to buy anything.

You can get a lot of ideas from watching some sports movies too. "Eye of the Tiger" is from Rocky.

Good luck!

k, so i really like my boyfriend, but like i just got braces, and we were planning on kissing but i dont think he will dwant to now, because it seems like he would be grossed out cause my braces. i really love my boyfriend but i dont know how to tell him i dont want to kiss him anymore, cause i feel like it will be akward

I don't have any experience with this since I got my braces off before I had my first boyfriend. However, if you have any experience with kissing you'll know that you're not going to be kissing each others' teeth. Even if you do have a unique style of kissing, you don't have to involve the teeth if it's awkward. I don't think that braces will be an issue at all. Inexperienced kissers may knock each others teeth together and it might hurt a little bit more if that happens for your boyfriend, but trust me, it's not going to make your experience bad. If you want to kiss him go ahead and do it. It will be just as wonderful! Good luck. :)

is it normal if you are 13 and haven't started? i did in november in 2005 and all my friends say that it was my cherry so idk if it's that or my period and if it isnt my period, please answer the first question. Thanks so much.

It is very normal to be 13 and not have started your period yet. I didn't get mine until I was 14 and my mom didn't get hers until she was 16. On the other end of the spectrum, I know a girl that got hers when she was 11! It will begin at a different time for every girl. Your friends don't know what they're talking about. Your "cherry" isn't going to bleed for more than a day and it's not going to bleed very much. I'm a little confused by your question, but I'm guessing that you haven't had a period since last year. That's very normal too. Most women don't have a regular period until they are in their 20's. Make sure your doctor knows about all of this though. Not having a period for a long time like this could be signaling a problem. Good luck. :)

http://www.coolnurse.com/menstrual.htm

my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and iam a special ed student and i've been feeling really depressed lately i've been going to sleep really early lately about 5:00pm as soon as i get home from school and i don't wake up until the next morning i've been really upset becouse i found out just becouse iam in special ed that i can't even go to a tech collage without going to the tech collage here to get my ged first and i've always dreamed of becoming a special ed teacher but now that i know that i can't i've been upset and my dad died when i was 12 so i've been thinking about that lately and that's got me feeling depressed so i've been crying myself to sleep every night for the past night what should i do?

If you set your mind to it you can do anything. I know people say that all the time, but that's because it's true. If you keep your head up and stop feeling sorry for yourself you can get to where you want to be. Get your GED and then go to college. If you stay optimistic it won't be hard to do. I'm sure there are lots of people that will support you and help you get through this. In life, you can either give up or fight. You've faced many obstacles in your life and you haven't given up yet. Don't give up now. Keep trying. From the sound of it, I think that you would make a great special education teacher. You'd be able to connect with your students on a whole different level than someone that hasn't been through what you have. If you work hard and you make it, you will be such an inspiration and a role model to your students. You can be the hero to them that you didn't have. The world would be a better place if there were more people out there like you that cared so much. My advice for you is to set up a meeting with the guidance counselor at your school. Your guidance counselor should be able to answer any questions you have and should be able to make you feel much better about your future. If you have any trouble getting over your depression, seek help for that too. Bring it up to your guidance counselor. Good luck! :)

If a 19-yr-old male is hit in the area where his penis and testicles are, is it possible that he won't be able to have kids? We're talking really PUNCHED a couple of times and kicked too. If you can, please give me a source or something. I really want to know.

It's possible, but unlikely. This person would have to check with their doctor to be sure, but in all probability they will be just fine. :)

I think the bigger issue is that someone (you?) may have had this happen to him. If it happened to you or someone you know get the police involved. Doing that to someone assault. Anyone who assaults another person should be arrested! Good luck.

i was wondering if you just drink a little alcohol but not enough to get you drunk, then some weed.. would that get you really messed up?

Smoking weed greatly increases the effects of alcohol. It's a very bad idea. Smoking weed on its own is a very bad idea. Not only is it illegal, it's addicting too. It impairs your brain functions even after the high is gone and it will make you completely unmotivated and depressed. If you or someone you know smokes weed, please try to get them to stop. :(

im rilly confused my mom hits me but its kind of my falt so it just dosnt seem like cild abuse to me but my best friend was over one day and saw what was going on he ses i need to tell but i rilly rilly dont want to . what should i do????

plz tell me what i should do
thanx
13/f

Your friend is right. There is no good reason in the world for a parent to hit their child like that. You grew up in that environment so its all that you know. It is abuse and it's not your fault at all. You may not want to tell, but I'm sure you don't want your mom hitting you either. It needs to stop! I think that what you should do is talk to someone at your school about it. Bring your friend with you for support. She is probably very concerned about you and confused as to what she should do to help. If you are too afraid to do this yet, call a hotline first. They can help you understand what is happening to you and they should be a huge help in deciding what to do.

Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-548-2722

Domestic Violence Hotline in the US
800-799-7233

Domestic Violence Hotline/Child Abuse
800-4-A-CHILD (800 422 4453)

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
1-800-537-2238

Take your pick. I will be praying for you. :)

Why do women get their period at the same time as their families and friends for example? Such as when they are together a lot or live together. I'm so confused.

Thanks!

There hasn't been enough research on this yet for anyone to know for sure. It could be coincidence, or there could be something specific that causes it. I think that its probably something in between. Many factors can influence your cycle. The people that are close to you are experiencing many of the same factors at the same times. Try not to worry about it too much. Like I said, there's no real answer yet. :)

im being asked by so many people what career i want to choose. but seriously i have no idea!! i want to own a restaurant, i want to be a lawyer, i want to be a fasion designer but how do i know which to choose? dont tell me to follow my insticts or choose what i like best because its a huge choice and i just dont know. i need advice!! what are some other good careers?? and whats a website where you can take a quiz to see what career fits you best?

These websites should get you started. My advice for you is to talk to your guidance counselor about this.

http://www.careerkey.org/index.asp
http://www.discoveryourpersonality.com/index.html
http://www.colorwize.com/index4.html
http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_work/tests/career.htm

I didn't take all the tests so some of them might not work. Good luck. :)

Met a really cute guy. We went out couple times. He is smart, cute and nice to me. However, I felt that I'm not into him as much he's into me........I don't want to hurt his feeling if somehow he asks me "the question" one day, but I don't want to pull apart either. What should I do to keep just friend with him?

Tell him you just want to be friends before he even asks. Do it today. It will be much less disapponting for him if he had other ideas. It's always best to have a completely open line of communication with your friends. Don't wait for him to ask. You know its coming. Speak up first before letting it get too far. Good luck. :)

So heres my problem...

my parents are really uptight, and a little closed minded when it comes to my future. They still have this picture perfect mental image of me graduating with honors, and getting a bussiness degree, and starting a normal life. Problem is, I dont want that. I have bigger plans, and a passion for music so great its almost unreal. All i want to do with my life is something meaningful, and inspiring to others like me. Sure it may sound like a childish dream, i want to be a rockstar kind of thing, but hey who ever said we cant dream big right?

My question is, how do I get them to realize its not going to be how they picture it. every time i try to confront them about it, they brush it off as if to say "you think thats what you want to do" but i dont think, i know. thats what they dont seem to understand, becuase they never had a passion like I have.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Yeah, they should be more understanding of your dreams, but they do have a point. Let me explain. They may not be being entirely realistic, but neither are you. You are at one extreme and they are at the other. They are doing this in an attempt to counterbalance you out. The best place to be is somewhere in the middle. Your "picture" of how your life will be has yet to be painted. You're 17, it could end up being practically anything. You need to have a backup plan. You can't just decide to become a rock star. Most people that don't leave their options open and go blindly into the arts don't make it. It's okay to dream big. There's no problem with that, but you can't let your dreams get in the way of your life. You're young. It's hard to imagine what life is really going to be like. There are going to be bills you'll have to pay, maybe a family you'll need to support. I'm not saying that you won't make it and that you shouldn't try. What I'm saying is, you need to put your dreams on hold until you have a more established and stable life. Keep with your music, but don't make it first priority at this point in your life. You can join a band in college. You could go far with it. Without an education though, you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. Pressure that you might just not be good enough to take. There should always be a plan B and a plan C especially when you're dealing with your future. Your parents are realistic people. They're not opposed to your dreams. They don't "know" that you won't make it. They just want to make sure that you're not screwing yourself out of a happy future by having such big dreams. They know what they're talking about, they just aren't saying it in the right way. They do want you to have a happy, successful future. If the rock star thing happens, it happens. If it doesn't, you're going to look back and say "wow, my parents weren't just being uncaring, unsupportive pricks. I went 'all or nothing' and I lost. I should have listened to them." My advice for you is to go 'all and something'. A normal life can be a very good life. It's better than nothing. Keep your options open and get a college degree in something stable. There's no reason why it can't be related to music. It should be. There are many different types of degrees out there. I'm sure you can find something that you like. It's not so much what the degree is for when it comes to getting a job, it's the degree itself. Of course it helps if the degree has something to do with the job you are applying for, but it doesn't necessarily hurt you if it doesn't. On the side, keep with your dream. You can do both. It's not going to be that hard. College will help you with it more than it will hurt you. It'll give you access to other people like you and a good audience that wants to hear you perform. This way, there is no chance for you to lose and it'll keep your parents off your back. If they make you apply as a business major you can always change it. I hope that your dream comes true for you. You have a lot of drive and passion and I think that no matter what you end up doing in your future that you will be successful. Keep your expectations high, but there's no need to be taking huge risks so early in your life. Good luck.

P.S. They do have a passion for something. YOU. :)

ok so my mom .. does not agree with me geting a lip peircing.. but i .. REALLY REALLY want one and have for the past few years and obviously i need her aprovil to get it done she things its gross cause its a hole and she thinks its grose cause its around the mouth but i would love to have one i put fake ones in all the time but i want permanemt and i wouldnt wear i fake one to school so how should i come about this.. how could i convince her what can i do ?

PLEASE HELP

15.m

I can see where she is coming from. There are a lot of bacteria that live in your mouth. Try to find an article about how lip piercings are hygienic as proof that as long as you take care of it, it's not gross at all. She's probably not going to listen to just plain begging or complaining. Get some hard evidence! Good luck. :)

My hearts hurts, yesturday I had the symtoms od a heart attack, a real heart attack. And now today my heart feels werid. It doesn't hurt as much as yesturday but I can feel it beating in a odd way...What should I do?

I had the same thing happen to me on Friday. I however, at the very first heart attack symptoms, got myself to a hospital. Do the same! My symptoms ended up being due to stress, not heart problems and they basically just let me go after they found that out. When you get there, they'll take you in right away. They'll take your temperature and blood pressure, all that jazz. Then they'll put 10 or so stickers on your chest, legs, and arms and hook wires up to them to take what they'll call an EKG. An EKG is short for Electrocardiogram, which monitors your heart. It comes out on a graph just like you see on TV. They'll run it for a few minutes and then tell you what's going on with your body. If you're a girl they make you take off your bra to put the stickers on and everything, but they will put you with a female nurse and cover you back up after everything is set. All in all, it was a pretty painless experience. Good luck, I will be praying for you!

15/F

How long exactly is one supposed to wait before things 'get better'? I spend every moment of everyday trying to improve myself and my environment. My life is nearly perfect, I must say. However, I would love to have a boyfriend. Someone to listen to me and someone I can listen to. I feel so alone.

Thanks

I used to feel the exact same way in my life. I had a great family, I did well academically, I was one of the best athletes at my school, I did a ton of community service, and I had a ton of friends. All I was missing, I thought, was a boyfriend. I kept telling myself I didn't want one, but deep down it had really been getting to me. Not having a boyfriend as a young teenager can make you have very low self confidence, which leads to guys not wanting to date you...it's a viscious cycle. Anyways, after I got out of high school things changed for me. I was thrown into a whole new environment and within a few months I'd landed myself my first relationship. I was 18 and a half. I'd never been kissed or done anything with a guy up till that point. Now, 2 years later, I'm engaged to that first guy and we are planning to live together next month. I see the girls that I used to be rather jealous of for having relationships in high school and they aren't even close to getting engaged to anyone. Most of them are single. I may have started late, but through observation I learned so much about the dating world that I was able to speed ahead and skip all the dead end relationships, silly breakups, mistakes, and heartache entirely. Now, that's a tough thing to do and not something that you should expect to happen for yourself. The chances of ending up with the first guy you date are slim. However, the longer you wait, the better your experiences will be. You'll have matured enough to not only understand what's going on, but to have seen enough of other people's relationships go sour to know a thing or two about them before you try one yourself. You are so not alone. There are many girls out there that are in the same position as you. You have a ton of time to find what you're looking for. So stop looking! Love is out there, and it will find you. The harder you look, the more desperate you will become. I'm sure you are a wonderful person that has a lot to offer to a guy. Don't let that out of sight. Stay confident in yourself. Your time will come and it will be even better than you had ever hoped for. Good luck. :)

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