about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

what is a cunt??

This word is very very derogatory. Most women will be extremely offended by it. Please don't ever use it! Like the other columnists mentioned, it is referring to either the vagina or vaginal area.

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Well.. its almost christmas.. and my boyfriend hasnt asked me what i wanted.. and im scared to ask him what he wants.. cause what if he dont wanna get me nething.. lol.. kinda cheesy .. but i need help :[

Ask him if he thinks you should get Christmas presents for each other. If he says no, then you'll know. You don't have to ask him what he wants first! Good luck. :)

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why do I still get pimples even when I wash my face atleast three times a day, use acne stuff called benzaclin and differin, and use acne moistuizer. its not like my acne is really bad or anything, but I have a few zits on my forehead and its annoying because they dont go away quick, and when they do, I just get another zit. What can I do to make it so I have no zits on my face.. is there any wash or like pore clearing facial thing I can do by myself?

What you should do is go to a Dermatologist. A Dermatologist is a doctor that specializes in this type of thing. My aunt made me go to one once and I am so glad that she did! He perscribed me some medicated facewash and cream that works sooo well! It doesn't dry your skin out and it gets rid of pimples in 2 days or less. The appointment took 5 minutes. The doctor looked at me, asked me a few questions, and handed me a perscription. Now I can get an acne treatment that actually works. The ones that are sold over the counter are usually totally useless. I'm sure a Dermatologist would be more than happy to give you a perscription. Good luck! :)

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okay!
My Boyfriend and I just had sex, and he cummed in me! so i freaked out and i didnt know what to do ! So i thought that maybe if i put a tampon in it will suck it up haha ! yeah i know stupid right ? Well do you think it will work or am i most deff. goin to be preg. ? Please help me!?

He doesn't have to ejaculate for you to get pregnant. Sperm can come out even before ejaculation. Plus, guys don't have much control over when it happens. So, you should never have unprotected sex for any length of time. That said, what you need to do is get a day after pill. Go to an emergency room or health clinic. It will still work up to 3 days after you have sex, but the sooner you can get one, the better it will work. The chances of pregnancy aren't 100% without the pill, but they are quite high. With the pill, they are reduced to less than 20%. A day after pill is not an abortion pill, so if you are against abortion don't worry. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you are more responsible in the future. :)

The tampon idea was pretty clever. It could help a tiny bit, but it's not going to help enough. Please do whatever it takes to get an emergency contraception pill. I'd rather face the embarassment and possible consequences of letting my mom know that I had sex than having to tell her that I was pregnant. I don't think it will cost $50. Probably closer to 20.

http://www.coolnurse.com/birthcontrol.htm#emergency

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what happened to the chat rooms aim used to have? how can you get back into them? thanks

http://www.aim.com/community/chats.adp

I think that is what you are looking for. Good luck! :)

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I am a high school freshman in Virginia and I intend to graduate high school in 3 yrs instead of 4. Do you know of any grants or scholarships I can apply for NOW to help me pay for college? I want to apply for Princeton, but I know my family does not have enough money. What should I do? I really need a scholarship or grant.

Don't worry so much right now. Start looking for scholarships and grants the year before you graduate. For now, get an account with FastWeb.

www.fastweb.com

Look through FastWeb and start preparing for some of the scholarships that you might apply for.

On January 1st of the year you are going to be graduating, fill out your FAFSA.

http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/

Look at the website beforehand and make sure that you have everything that you will need ready to do this. If you fill out a FAFSA, you will be just fine financially. If you win any outside scholarships, that will make it even better for you. :)

Lastly, talk to your guidance counselor! Your guidance counselor will be able to help you a lot more than you would think.

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I get alot of cramps durring my period. Why is that? I mean, like I don't mean like why do I get so many cramps. But I mean, what in the cycle causes the cramps?

Thanks much!

I haven't been able to find an actual source saying what these stretches are. I actually heard it from my health teacher in high school. I've tried it before and I've found that groin stretches work the best. Any kind of pelvic stretches should be helpful. :)

Think of it this way. Lets say you don't use your legs for three weeks. You sit in a wheelchair or something and don't walk anywhere. You don't move your legs at all. Then, suddenly you spring up from your chair and run a marathon. Your legs are going to hurt a LOT! Basically, this is what happens when you have your period. There are muscles in your body that are only being used for menstruation. When you're not menstruating, they just sit there and tighten up. When menstruation starts, they have to spring into action and work really hard to get things done. Other than taking pain killers, there are certain stretches you can do to help with cramps. Having a good diet and exercising can reduce them too. Talk it over with a doctor and you might be able to find a way to eliminate them entirely. :)

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This girl i have talked about before. We'll just call her sandy; she is a liar, backstabber, and a two face bitch. We used to be bestfreinds for like 6 months we were really close then her true face came out. all she wanted to do was talk about other people and i sreiously dont do that shit, its not me. id rather make freinds then enimies but she thinks oppisite. Anyway last night one of my bestfreinds (lets call her sally) slep over last night and my boyfriend so i told her to call her boyfriend and tell him to come over too since i fell bad to have my boyfirend over and her's wasnt there. anyway, she called him (lets call him bill) and was talking to him (bill is friends with this girl's "the bich" brother and any chance she gets sally trys to flurt with bill) so sally was getting all upset that sandy was with bill and then he says "sandy told me today that carrie (me)was telling people a bunch of shit" about their relationship. yeah so now shes tell people lies about me and lies about sally and bill. i need to make her stop this. now sally and bill's reationship on the rocks because of hera n its pissing me off more and more everyday. she keeps trying to talk to me and be my "friend" again nad i really dont want to. but what am i suposed to do. i cant just ignore her i try not to be mean to people. but omg shes a bitch.why are their people in the wolrd that just lie and ruin everything. you know she tryed to get me to break up with my boyfriend. and she was suposed to be my bestreind? yeah that was the ice beaker for me i dont tlak to her anymore and i want it to stay like that.



any advice is good but if not this is an example of someone none of you out there should be.


THANKS A MILLION!

That sounds really frustrating. There's not much you can do other than just stay away from her. Don't even try to be her friend anymore. That doesn't mean she has to be your enemy, just someone that you don't have any relations with at all. There are a lot of people like her in the world. Sad, but true. The best thing you can do is recognize who they are and just take everything they say and do with a grain of salt.

If you are feeling extra nice and want to give Sandy another chance, sit down and talk with her. Tell her how her actions are making you feel. Stay very calm and collected. Give her a chance to explain everything. If she lies, don't get angry. Just let it go and let her go. She's not worth all this frustration you are feeling.

Now on to Sally and Bill's relationship. You say that it is on the rocks because of Sandy. I know this may sound kind of harsh, but if Sally and Bill had a strong relationship, Sandy wouldn't be able to do anything about it no matter what silly lie she told.

Soon enough, everyone will see Sandy for what she is like you do. People will stop believing her and things will get back to normal. Just be patient until that happens. Good luck. :)

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I've been best friends with this guy since freshman year and we use to call each other almost daily on a regular basis to chat. Even after i changed schools we still talked and stuff. But recently he got a girlfriend (off of WoW3) which really surprised me since he use to grip about how retarded online relationships. After that, he totally changed. He stopped talking to me, spent so much time (pretty much when hes not in school) with his girlfriend on the phone or online (she lives in chicago, we live in cali) and just got so obssessed with her. Shes two years older and planning on moving to california when he graduates from high school and goes to college (this year). Just these few weeks, it became apparent that his girlfriend really got annoyed when i called him to talk and was bitching to him about it. And what he said to me today just hurt a lot and made me cry, since i didnt think he'd just throw me away for his girlfriend, but apparently he did.

Him: I need you to stop calling me
Him: I don't want you to think that I like you
Him: and you shouldn't ever have thought that I'd want to talk to you more than *girlfriend*
me: uh...
me: i never thought you liked me..
me: wtf
Him: Well good, just don't call me anymore
Him: It's irritating, and *Girlfriend* hates it too

I dont know how or why he said that, but it really hurt. since we use to have so much fun hanging out and talking over the phone. I just want to be good friends with him but apparenty there isnt even room for his girlfriend and his best girl friend anymore. What am i suppose to do? Just agree and stop talking to him completely? I dont want to lose my best friend just because his girlfriend is so overprotective of him and refuses to let him even talk to other girls over the phone.

Sad to say it, but your friend is completely whipped. How is he even to know that this girl is real? She could be a 50 year old he that wants to rape him or something. There are some creepy people out there.

My advice to you is to give him what he wants. If you leave him alone he'll definitely miss you. He'll realize after some time that he gave up one of the best things in his life. This so called relationship of his is not going to work. When it's all over he'll think back about how he treated you and want to apologize.

I think you should write him a very heartfelt letter before breaking all contact with him. Explain how much you care about him and your friendship, but that if he wants to end it, then you can't stop him. Tell him that you were never interested in him romantically and it saddens you that he would think that. Tell him how much he has changed since he met this girl and ask him if the kind of person she is making him is the kind of person he really wants to be. Make sure he knows that you'll always be there for him and that you care about him no matter what. If he changes his mind you are just a phone call away and you would be willing to take him back as a friend.

It's going to be tough for awhile, but be assured that he will change his mind. Be totally open and honest in your letter and things will work themselves out. Give it a little time and patience. He didn't mean the things he said. They were coming from his girlfriend's mouth, not his. Even if he meant them at the time, you know that he would never say something like that if he were truly being himself.

I am so sorry that this happened to you, it is always such a sad thing to lose a friend. Good luck.

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16/f
Ok, well I love this guy and I dont know how to tell him. We're like best-friends and we have been for about 3 years and I don't want to freak him out by this.
How should I say it? Something subtle or direct?

Say something subtle at first to see how he reacts. If you can't tell by his reaction then say something more direct. DON'T tell him that you love him just yet. Use the word "like" instead. "Like" may surprise him, but it's not going to freak him out like "love" might. He's not going to look as far into it as you are. It's always best to just let everything out. Even if he doesn't share the same feelings, it won't be awkward if you don't let it. If he does share the same feelings, keep from telling him you love him until you are in a relationship just to be safe. You can even say "I have loved you for a long time, but I wanted to wait for the right time to tell you" or something like that. Good luck!

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hey y'all, im a freshman and i thinm reality just hit me harder than anything today. we go this letter home in the mail today with the high honor roll+the honor roll students listed, and my name wasnt on it. and im really scared about my life, because i dont do any extra cirricular activites. and im afraid im not gonna get into colege. if i start joining clubs next year do u think ill have somewhat of a chance? i really dont wanna do anysports becuase most of the people who are on anyof the sports i like look down apon me and it would just be really awkward for me. thank y'all so much!

You'll be just fine. Your grades might not quite make the cut for an Ivy League school, but it's really easy to get into a state school or a community college. You'll be just fine with that. To strengthen your application, what colleges like to see is community service. You don't have to go out and volunteer all your free time doing something awful. All you have to do is join a community service based club. Talk to your guidance counselor about which ones are available at your school. Good luck! :)

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ok so for about 1 month ive been so heartbroken, crying like there's no tomorrow, because i emailed my crush (just a normal email, not revealing anything) and he didnt answer.. and it felt like i was living for him, and he didnt even notice me, but TURNS out, he did email me, but it landed in the "trash" and just noticed it now..(Gosh im lucky, two more days and it would have been deleted!) but here's the thing.. in this email, he wrote "ive been thinking about you alot" and at first when i read that, i screamed, started jumping up and down.. so happy, BUT NOW that it's sunk in.. i kinda.. i dont know. it feels like my feelings were SOO HOTT and now they've cooled down. does this mean i dont like him anymore? was i just in it for the chase? because seriously - i could have sworn i was IN LOVE with the guy.

And my second question would be, WHAT NOW? he sent that A MONTH AGO.. i mean it would be weird to answer NOW-- he's def. the typ of guy who would overanalyze that! so maybe i should just "let go" ? cause the thing is.. im not even allowed to date. so what's the point in answering?

Third question - let's say id answer (not saying that i am!) - what would i say??

please help! thanks!

There's a good explantion to why you aren't feeling as strongly for him anymore. It's because in the time when you thought that he didn't care about you, you forced yourself to begin getting over him. All the same feelings are still there, they have just been surpressed. They can all come back again if you give it a chance. :)

My advice on what you should do, tell him EVERYTHING. Let him know how upset you were when you didn't e-mail you back. Tell him about the feelings you had for him. Then say how you found the e-mail and you are so sorry because you are afraid that he had been as sad as you since you didn't answer him back. This can all be worked out if you put some work into it.

I think that it's worth the chance. You liked this guy so much before. If you end up really having completely gotten over him, at least you tried. Good luck!

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I women that i was talking decided that it was to hard to be friends with me. Although we were attracted to each other and kissed on occasion she texted me this long text telling me that she needed to focus on other things and that although she liked are friendship it was to hard for her right now. She started to avoid me before then and had texted me the day before she told me it was to hard to be friends that she was out on a date. I think she was saying that it was too hard to be friends with me because she no longer wanted to see me? What do u think

It sounds like she just found someone else. Plain and simple. She doesn't want to be friends with you because she doesn't want to jeopardize this new relationship. If you were both attracted to each other and you kept seeing each other and kissing on occasion, sooner or later your friendship would have become something more. I think you should just let her be. If you keep after her about being "friends" she's going to get angry with you and it'll ruin any chances of being anything at all in the future. She'll probably get over this other guy soon enough and possibly go back to you. Contact her one more time saying that you care about her and if this is what she wants that's fine with you, but if she changes her mind you are always there. I'm sorry that this happened to you.

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OK so a few weeks ago I had sex with this guy and we didnt use a condom. yes i know. DUMB MOVE. no need to reiteratre that. we just took it to far. but anyways. lately i have been having sharp pains in my stomach. i play volleyball and its like when im serving or hitting especially it feels like something is ripping inside me.
could this mean im pregnant? I also just started my period and its not late or anything but i always get cramps, but this feels different...so any idea?

I think you're fine. Your cramps might feel differently because of the extra stress you are going through right now. Try to relax for now. If you still feel pains like this after your period is done see a doctor. If in the unlikely event that this happens, I doubt that it has anything to do with sex or pregnancy. It would be an entirely unrelated problem. In the future, bring a condom with you even if you don't expect to have sex just in case. :)

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right this is taking the piss i run for england under 15's i set the record already not bad yeh i hav 2 5 hour training sessions a week and i get treated like a fuking dog i also do long jump and triple jump for england aswel and i have 2 training sessions for them and i get treated like a fukin dog in them its taking the piss today was interform rugy everyone was telling me what to do i scored 78 fuking tries and they stil were telling me what to do eventually i flipped and told everyone to fuck off right im realy considering quitting all of my sports because i dont want to be treated like shit any one help me shut every one up?

Ok first take a deep breath and calm down. Set up a meeting with your coach. Tell your coach all of your concerns. I'm sure your coach will work extra hard to help you out. You seem like a very valuable asset to the team. Make sure that when you meet with your coach, you are calm and collected. Don't direct your anger at anyone. Just say the reasons why you are upset, what you would rather see happening, and what you are going to do if you don't. If nothing changes in a week, then maybe it would be best for you to quit. A statement needs to be made. I wish you lots of luck. I would hate to see someone as talented as you get so frustrated as to have to quit! :(

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I really like this guy and well I told him. At first he said that he just wanted to be friends, which is fine but lately he keeps saying and doing things that make me think otherwise.

Like this one time we were talking on msn and he had asked me who my best-friend was so i told him, and then he asks "Have you told her about us yet?"
I'm confused by the way he asked that because we are not dating, we are just friends still, like we've been for over 10 years, but he used the word "US".

What does this mean?

Ask HIM! I can't believe that you wouldn't. How should we know? He was either trying to ask you out and you blew it, or he was curious to know if your friend knew that you wanted to date him but he just wanted to stay friends. I know it's a little late, but you can still ask him about it. Say something to the effect of "remember when you asked me if I ever told my friend about us? What did you mean by the word us?" That's it. It's a pretty simple fix. You just have to work up the courage to ask. Good luck. :)

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13/f
brown/black/red hair.
black eyes.
paris hilton style i con.
medium skin.
not so pink lips.
squarish face.
[has pityriasis rosea.]


what good colors are good for blushing? shadowing? and lipstick?

I know nothing about make-up, but I would have to say that you would look good with darker colors. Purples, greens, or browns for the eye shadow and a darker, more subtle lipstick. It's hard to say without seeing your face. You should get an opinion from a beautician or experiment with different colors yourself. Good luck! :)

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what are some of the pros and cons about wearing thongs? thanks!


ps: pro = good thing ; con = bad thing .. incase you didn't know haha.

Lots of people will say that thongs are better because they eliminate panty lines and such. My opinion on this, though, is that boyshors would be better for this purpose. If your thong is sticking out of the top, you'll look like a complete slut. Most of the time thongs do that. Personally, I'd rather have a panty line than my thong hanging out.

If you get the right ones, thongs can be very comfortable. They are attractive to the opposite sex and they won't get scrunched up in your butt because they are already in there. They do, however, take a bit of getting used to because of this.

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God, I have a huge prob right now....
I have A LOT of friends, and I mean REALLY alot, and they're mostly girls.
Our party is nearing and that's the only time I can give them gifts cuz we won't be seeing each other from then on cuz it's our Christmas break.
The party's already next week and here's the prob--I haven't bought anything yet! As in I haven't bought a single damn thing.

Please give me gift ideas that are cheap becuase I'm on a really tight budget.

One year I had to get presents for a lot of people. What I did was buy a bunch of cheap Christmas mugs and fill them with hot chocolate packets and candy. I wrapped up the goodies in red or green plastic wrap, stuck a bow on top, and tied some ribbon on the handles of the mugs. They turned out so cute and everyone loved them. The best part - I spent like $10 on the entire thing. Good luck! :)

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13/f
1.whats the best make up brand besides mac?


2.what is shea butter cream used for?

I'm sorry, I don't know anything about make-up. I've only worn it for school plays. :(

This website, though, will give you all the information you could want and more about shea butter. :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shea_butter

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