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I think i just lost my best friend
I've been best friends with this guy since freshman year and we use to call each other almost daily on a regular basis to chat. Even after i changed schools we still talked and stuff. But recently he got a girlfriend (off of WoW3) which really surprised me since he use to grip about how retarded online relationships. After that, he totally changed. He stopped talking to me, spent so much time (pretty much when hes not in school) with his girlfriend on the phone or online (she lives in chicago, we live in cali) and just got so obssessed with her. Shes two years older and planning on moving to california when he graduates from high school and goes to college (this year). Just these few weeks, it became apparent that his girlfriend really got annoyed when i called him to talk and was bitching to him about it. And what he said to me today just hurt a lot and made me cry, since i didnt think he'd just throw me away for his girlfriend, but apparently he did.
Him: I need you to stop calling me
Him: I don't want you to think that I like you
Him: and you shouldn't ever have thought that I'd want to talk to you more than *girlfriend*
me: uh...
me: i never thought you liked me..
me: wtf
Him: Well good, just don't call me anymore
Him: It's irritating, and *Girlfriend* hates it too
I dont know how or why he said that, but it really hurt. since we use to have so much fun hanging out and talking over the phone. I just want to be good friends with him but apparenty there isnt even room for his girlfriend and his best girl friend anymore. What am i suppose to do? Just agree and stop talking to him completely? I dont want to lose my best friend just because his girlfriend is so overprotective of him and refuses to let him even talk to other girls over the phone.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Sad to say it, but your friend is completely whipped. How is he even to know that this girl is real? She could be a 50 year old he that wants to rape him or something. There are some creepy people out there.
My advice to you is to give him what he wants. If you leave him alone he'll definitely miss you. He'll realize after some time that he gave up one of the best things in his life. This so called relationship of his is not going to work. When it's all over he'll think back about how he treated you and want to apologize.
I think you should write him a very heartfelt letter before breaking all contact with him. Explain how much you care about him and your friendship, but that if he wants to end it, then you can't stop him. Tell him that you were never interested in him romantically and it saddens you that he would think that. Tell him how much he has changed since he met this girl and ask him if the kind of person she is making him is the kind of person he really wants to be. Make sure he knows that you'll always be there for him and that you care about him no matter what. If he changes his mind you are just a phone call away and you would be willing to take him back as a friend.
It's going to be tough for awhile, but be assured that he will change his mind. Be totally open and honest in your letter and things will work themselves out. Give it a little time and patience. He didn't mean the things he said. They were coming from his girlfriend's mouth, not his. Even if he meant them at the time, you know that he would never say something like that if he were truly being himself.
I am so sorry that this happened to you, it is always such a sad thing to lose a friend. Good luck.
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God, I'm really shocked, I mean, even if he really had to say all those things he could have said it in a lot nicer way! Look, try to focus on other people who actually appreciate your friendship, since at the time being this guy is obviously, how shall I put it... not quite himself. I guess he's so infatuated with his girlfriend that he can't think clearly. Don't call him if he doesn't want that, but try not to despair - if he continues to feel that way about you, and if he doesn't realize he's done you wrong and call you to apologize, he wasn't worth your friendship anyway!
That part about not liking you probably meant that he didn't like you in the romantic sense, because he wouldn't have talked to you every day if he didn't like you as a friend. However, people change, and he has become a different person, a person who obviously doesn't value what you had. Try looking into the future instead of looking back, and don't make waiting for him to change his mind the main purpose of your life - you will meet other people, equally fun and good friends, and if he ever wants to be your friend again, great! If not, well, it's his loss, not yours, because you don't won't someone in your life who doesn't realize what a great person you are!
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