It must be a curse to be so darn desirable! Well, crushes come and go very quickly, so enjoy them. My advice is to not choose. At least not yet. Hang out with everyone as just friends and find out more about each girl. The longer you take your time, the more only one girl will stand out to you as the one you really dig.

Age difference is not that crucial when it is just two years, except when one person is an adult and one a minor, according to the law. Anything worth having is worth waiting for, so I would suggest keeping the relationship casual and no sexual involvement at least until he is eighteen. By that time you will most likely be interested in older guys, anyway. For now, stick to the agreement and don't get all insecure over the dance. If he wants to keep a promise and not hurt her, then that is actually something you should respect. When you start dating, you can explore what you have in common and what you don't. Don't worry about it beforehand, it is a waste of time. It is not healthy to decide before you even get involved with someone whether or not to have a long term relationship. It is not something you can control. The relationship either grows or fades...or even collapses. Concentrate on the moment, because that is the only real moment you have.

Actually, I hear the mineral make-up makes pores look a lot bigger. I hear the pro-active stuff can be bought in some stores now and really works. Keep all hands away from your skin and use clean cotton or sponge wedges to apply make-up. The more bacteria on skin, the more break-outs. The dermatologist has the best solutions, but I think you should stay away from powders and anything that will clog pores. I would also use only foundation that is specifically for acne prone skin. Clean as gently as possible, to avoid irritating pores further. Also I read this info.
"If you wear makeup or sunscreen, make sure it's labeled "oil free," "noncomedogenic," or "nonacnegenic." This means it won't clog your pores and contribute to acne. And when you are washing your face, be sure you take the time to remove all of your makeup so it doesn't clog your pores.

If you use hair sprays or gels, try to keep them away from your face, as they can also clog pores. If you have long hair that touches your face, be sure to wash it frequently enough to keep oil away. And if you have an after-school job that puts you in contact with oil — like in a fast-food restaurant or gas station, for example — be sure to wash your face well when you get home. It can also help to wash your face after you've been exercising.

Many over-the-counter lotions and creams containing salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide are available to help prevent acne and clear it up at the same time. You can experiment with these to see which helps. Be sure to follow the instructions exactly — don't use more than you're supposed to at one time (your skin may get too dried out and feel and look worse) and follow any directions to see if you're allergic to it first."

Possibly, at least he likes you enough to want to get to know you better and have fun. Take it slow and make sure to not let shyness stop you from talking to him.

Your pal Heather is not to be trusted. She is selfish and ignored the fact that you were also very into him. If you want to stay friends, then I recommend an honest talk. Tell her that you realize that you both have major crushes on the same guy (probably will happen again in the future with another guy) and that you both need to agree to not let it ruin your friendship. Friends usually outlast boyfriends in highschool. Instead of competing with each other, suggest that you both reveal your crushes and let him decide. This is bold, but it will put an end to the frustration and let you know who he really likes, instead of playing games.

Is he the youngest brother? Perhaps it makes him feel in charge and important to be looking after you like a little sis. Tell him you appreciate his caringness and that you know he will be there for you. However, you have to decide when to feel guilty and when not to by yourself. No one can make us feel anything. If he is too buggy, then tell him he will have to ease up on you if he wants you to still have such an honest relationship. If you do move closer, then he will eventually see that you are capable of taking care of yourself and probably back off a bit. Of course, it is always good to know that he has your back if you need him.

You married very young and already have a toddler to raise. Wow, that is a lot for both of you to deal with. Try just to get along with him for a while as you would a roommate or friend. He may be more willing to negotiate that way...less pressure on him, means better results. Men do seem more selfish in marriage...I can't argue with that, but I know what works and what doesn't. Seeming to agree and then doing what he wants anyway is typical male behavior. Women take verbal agreements more seriously than males. Don't even try to get him to promise anything. Just judge him by his behavior afterwards. Presenting a request instead of a complaint will make a big difference. It tells him that you trust him to do the right thing, and that you see him as a man and not a child. Guys hate it when we cry and I know this is a stereotype, but it freaks them out. You had the right idea about counseling. It threatens a lot of people, yeah especially the males, but you may benefit from it a lot by going yourself. Instead of trying to agree on something, tell him that you want something and then let it go. His actions may suprise you, and he will definately be suprised by the simplicity of your requests, once he knows that he is being trusted.

I feel for you. Once upon a time I liked only one guy for two whole years. Then, something strange happened...he asked me out. We went out and I was totally bored! It broke my crush immediately! How sad that I wasted two years on someone I thought I wanted. My advice is to forget him at least long enough to consider some other guys. Sometimes, when we are really wanting one person, we have tunnel vision and miss other amazing opportunities. There is probably a cute guy right now who is hoping you will notice him. You never will, unless you let the other one go.

Blue undertoned make-up/concealor will combat the red.

You have all the power my dear! People copy for two reasons: They want to do what they think is acceptable to you and they really want to please you. Or, they did not study for the math test. He is unsure about what you like, so he figures he should do the obvious, and women everywhere wish their boyfriends and husbands were so perceptive and attentive!!! You could get this guy to do anything you wanted, so maybe you should rethink not liking this? Or, just tell him up front that you like doing certain things, but you would really like him to change it up now and then and suprise you. I think he is really sweet, though.

Well, I will give it a stab. The singer is desribing himself mostly and how he feels trapped by the expectations of others and cannot give a simple answer to things that he himself cannot understand and may not want to explore. What separated you from him is an illusion that is powerful, it is a perception of reality that you do not share. He is isolated in himself and from you. He does not trust reality. He may feel that life is phony and that he is not living truthfully according to how he feels, but how he feels is also disconnected and hopeless. He wants to reach you, but does not know how.

We don't get to choose our parents. Mothers always are judged more harshly...maybe we don't expect as much from the dads. We expect mother to be our protector, guide, unconditional love and support and to not have any weaknesses or problems of her own. Moms are just messed up like the rest of us, so don't take every fault of hers personally. I am not defending her, but I want you to remember that she is first a human being, then she is your mom.
You still expect your mother to be different then you know she is. That makes no sense, right? You know she is not capable or willing to be the mom you want her to be, and yet you won't give up. You think that if you keep hoping and giving her a chance to be different, that she will suprise you and change. That is not going to happen. All that happens is that you set yourself up for more disappointments and that is not healthy. Somehow you did end up with a good self-esteem, so be thankful for that. She is not the best mom, but definately not the worst either. She probably thinks she is doing far better than her mom did, so she does not understand why you are always unhappy with her. Maybe she is really selfish, because she was always around selfish people. It is not an excuse, but it is sad. You are capable of not repeating the cycle, so concentrate on that. Let her off the hook and don't expect what you know she can't give right now.
It does NOT mean she does not love you. She just is locked into her thinking. You do deserve someone to be proud of you. I am proud of you. You are proud of you. Your mom may even be proud of you, but mixed up in thinking that she cannot tell you, or it will make you conceited or something. You never know what rationality people mess themselves up with or developed as children and never grew out of. In the long run, you will realize that it is her loss and not yours. She has one chance to be your mom and if she messes it up, she will regret it. You on the other hand, will learn that the only person you really need approval from in this world is yourself. There are actually kids that get tons of approval and don't ever figure out that they should not live for the approval of others and it messes them up for years of their adult life. So, don't be too jealous of them. We all have to figure it out, whether our parents give us too much or too little, that we become our own mother and father.

There are issues here that need to be identified and dealt with. Your boyfriend is using the typical excuse of not being good enough for you, as a passive-aggresive way to shift blame and guilt back to you. That is not acceptable. You have been buying into it; however, and so the cycle continues, because the issue is never honestly discussed. Lots of guys have an automatic defense against any criticism and will crawl into a shell or lash out as a way to avoid any confrontation. This means, that you will not get to the heart of the matter or an honest response from him, unless you can approach the issues that bother you in a way that is not going to offend. Your anger and frustration are justified, but if you use them as tools to crack his shell, he will just develop a harder shell. The more you appear to be relaxed and non-judgemental about something the greater the chance he will open up to you without the passive-aggresive "I just can't do anything right to please you." Once you see how he is playing the game, he will not be able to manipulate your feelings and you will stay focused. Think like a guy and put your heart on hold. Talk about stuff rationally and without showing emotion...emotion translates as WEAKNESS to a lot of people and they will use it against you!

You sound conflicted, which means that you are not sure which you want more....to be in love or to be secure. To be in love, is really a vulnerability. We place our hearts in someone else's care in a way and this becomes frightening unless that person is trustworthy. To be secure is to know that we are not vulnerable beyond what we can handle. Your best friend/love interest is a charmer and flirt. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. However, you need to remember that you do not have a right to be jealous, or to even ask him to explain away his actions or motives, because you two are not in an exclusive relationship. You FEEL jealous, because some part of you wants him to yourself, despite the fact that you have denied wanting a relationship for reasons that are unknown to me. Are you afraid that he cannot or will not be faithful to you? When we give our hearts away, we need to be smart about the decision, but it does always involve the risk of being hurt...yes, always. That is why you need to decide whether or not you are ready to take the next step and become more than friends, or whether you will have to accept the fact that it is not at this time in your life worth the risk. Make a decision and accept the consequences that come with it. We can't have out cake and eat it, too and either decision will have pros and cons, but at least it will end the internal conflict.

You need to put an end to one relationship first. The relationship to all this negative self-talk. What we believe about ourself will be perceived by others and they will believe it, too. You are not the first person that has been the butt of jokes, or felt like the misfit of the group. There is usually one ring-leader of hate in a group who is always looking for a target. Then, there are people who are too weak to stand up to her/him and seem to agree, but don't really. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be anyone willing to combat the problem with you. This means you will have to zero in on it yourself. No one is above reproach, so look hard at what they are saying and ask yourself if there is a kernal of truth in any of it. If there is then own it and put an end to it. You feel powerless, but that is not the way you need to stay.

If you put your mind to it, you will be able to turn things around a little each day. Nothing is black and white. Someone in that office will befriend you, but you need to believe in yourself first. You said that "there's nothing anyone can do because the problem is with ME." Now you are right, but the following is also right. "There's nothing anyone can do because the solution is with Me." Wow! Feel the difference? We choose how we process information and see "facts" and in turn, we decide how to live our lives out and how we feel about the results. You are feeling bad, because the way you have been processing information is bad. There has been a gliche in your system, a bug to work out. You would not throw your computer system away because of a bug, so don't throw yourself away...you are too valuable to lose your sense of self over this gliche!

Start by writing two lists. One for all the things you "fail" at, and one for all your strengths and successes. Take the good list and put it somewhere you see it every day. Repeat them to yourself everyday. Accept these good things about yourself as solid truth. No one can take this from you. Now, tackle that bad list. Are some of those failings things that you are just being really hard on yourself for? Is a clean house really a big deal, or was it your mother's definition of success? Who is really judging you for all these imperfections? Scratch off a few that you do not wish to self-condemn yourself with anymore! You actually created the list, and you are in charge of what gets scratched off. Enjoy it! Take the remaining of the bad list, if there is anything left, and re-label it. These are no longer failings, but areas that you feel you would like to change. Own them! We all have areas we would like to work on. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't, but they do not define us or rule us, unless we give them too much power. Do these exercises and get back to me. I would love to hear how you did!

No....but, are you concerned about STD's? Be certain you and your partner are disease free and have a health check-up before trying to get pregnant. Also, remember that having a baby is a gigantic decision that will change your lives forever. It is a huge responsibility, so make sure you are both ready and talk to others who have kids about their experiences before making a decision. I would advise anyone to do this, but especially anyone under 30yrs. of age. I have four children and it a constant workload, and though I love them deeply, I am glad that I did not have them any earlier in my life!

Do you know for certain that none of them likes you? It is hard to make that transition for some people from just friends, and risk more. I would not assume anything though, and go for the one you like directly. This means telling her. She may need a while to think about it, so give her space and don't bug once she knows. In the meantime, it is a good idea to become better friends with the guys. It will balance out your perspective and broaden your experience to have friends of both genders. Don't limit yourself to one group or click either, this is a common mistake that is too limiting. Believe me, there is always someone for everyone, and too often we find out about secret crushes after highschool and miss a lot of chances to hook up!

A good "player" always tries to find out what will work to earn a girl's trust, so he can fake it until he gets what he wants. If you think that his personality magically changes because of your effect on him, I have bad news for you. It is extrememly unlikely that he is not playing you. If you were to give it a chance, then do so only on your conditions. You make up the rules of the game, and it he can't abide, then he does not want to be with you. Let the player go.

A great conversationalist is also a great listener. When you run out of words, just turn it back to that person or anyone else standing by with, "And what do you think?" Ask others questions and really listen to them. They will walk away thinking that you are interested in them, and that is what will increase their interest back to you. You don't have to be a smooth-talker to be fun, funny or taken seriously from time to time. Just don't take it too seriously and be willing to see yourself in other people's eyes. This takes humility, but can be an eye-opener for how others perceive our strengths and weaknesses. Instead of worrying about the next topic to come up with, spend the time the other person is talking by really hearing what they are and are not saying. You will find more to talk about than you think.

Wow, so your'e growing up. The world was a safe place and now it sucks. Well, part of growing up is getting over the all or nothing mentality and realizing that nothing is black and white. Companies are out to make money and some are extrememly unethical. Any company that you think has violated you, should be reported to the proper authority or business bureau. That is the way the world works. I understand why it is upsetting, but we have to learn as adults how to deal with upsetting things in a positive fashion. Every problem can be an opportunity for some solution, when you clearly identify your objective. Now the part about beating yourself up for being "evil" sounds a bit strong, too. You sound like a sensitive soul who has high expectations not only for the world at large, but for yourself, also. Don't give up on yourself or the world. There is enough goodness to find, for one willing to seek it. As an adult, who wants to live in a better world, you have opportunities everyday to choose by your own actions how to create a more postive world. Don't give up your values of stability, fairness and equality etc., but know that these things are not easily handed out, but only those courageous enough to live by their convictions will make a difference. I have a feeling that you will use your power for good and by doing so, goodness will meet you in unlikely places.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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