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Is my marriage over?
We're both 21, and we've been married two years.
He never listens to anything I say. He'll walk out the door, leave the room, or start yelling about one of his "stock" arguments every time I try to bring up something serious like his spending, driving on a suspended license, or needing to take more responsibility for our toddler.
Even if I think he's listening, and even if he promises to do whatever we've agreed on, he'll go and do the opposite the next time the situation comes up.
It's like he can't be bothered with anything that keeps him from having fun. He's very self centered, and if he upsets me and I start crying at me, he'll yell at me for ruining everyones nice time, or messing up his good day. He won't go to counseling.
I have to stop now, he's pulled up in the drive. Please help me.
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he sounds a bit like a control freak everything always having to be his way. if he wont go to counseling or take medicine to help his anger, than maybe its time to call a lawyer and move on to a man who appreciates you for YOU.
Hope this helps;; xx
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wow...21 and married for 2 years? 19 is a really young age to married...maybe a little too young. what i think you should do is ask him to make a little time for you one day. you 2 should sit down and talk about your marriage. tell him again that you think you 2 should go to marriage counseling, and ask him to think about your child.
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You married very young and already have a toddler to raise. Wow, that is a lot for both of you to deal with. Try just to get along with him for a while as you would a roommate or friend. He may be more willing to negotiate that way...less pressure on him, means better results. Men do seem more selfish in marriage...I can't argue with that, but I know what works and what doesn't. Seeming to agree and then doing what he wants anyway is typical male behavior. Women take verbal agreements more seriously than males. Don't even try to get him to promise anything. Just judge him by his behavior afterwards. Presenting a request instead of a complaint will make a big difference. It tells him that you trust him to do the right thing, and that you see him as a man and not a child. Guys hate it when we cry and I know this is a stereotype, but it freaks them out. You had the right idea about counseling. It threatens a lot of people, yeah especially the males, but you may benefit from it a lot by going yourself. Instead of trying to agree on something, tell him that you want something and then let it go. His actions may suprise you, and he will definately be suprised by the simplicity of your requests, once he knows that he is being trusted.
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