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Please Help Me
I don't know what to do and I can't cope so please help me if you can...
The truth is...nobody likes me. I'm not saying that in a 'feeling sorry for myself' way. It's fact. I work in an office where I overhear people bitching about me, where people lie about me and where they arrange nights out and I'm the only one not invited.
I can't do anything about it really because none of it can be proven and my Manager already believes the lies that have gone round about me because he's confronted me about them. There's nobody above him I can go to and I can't leave because I need the money and having looked around, I know I can't get the same anywhere else.
I can't seem to do anything right. Work is bad enough. I try SO hard and have done hours and hours of overtime, which I even refused to accept payment for because of personal reasons but I still mistakes. Constantly.
To make matters worse, I'm a complete failure in all other aspects of my life. I can't keep our home clean. I can't do a whole host of other things I should be able to do and the only things I ever really work at, I fail at and I'm so fed up of being such a loser and a failure that all I can seem to do is cry right now and not stop.
My boyfriend tries so hard to help me cope but I feel so miserable all the time and there's nothing anyone can do because the problem is with ME.
So, I guess my question is, how can I be happier? How can I stop feeling so bad about everything I seem to suck at?? And how do I find people who care about me, because other than my boyfriend, I don't think anyone does.
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Ok, you need to move jobs!Because if you are being brought down by them low lifes trying to make you upset, your bringing your bf down and men dont awlways like to say that thier tired of our female constant moaning and crying or whatever.Just find a new job and tell the manager that you feel like you need a change, whatever you do dont care what others think they arent worth it hun
r8 it
sadie x
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Unfortunately, when work is bad - it stresses you out in other areas. However, what they are doing is creating a hostile work environment for you (big, no-no), contact the HR department or a notforprofit law agency to help you file a claim.
Next, start looking for another job. Send or fill out 10 applications/resumes a week and one or two will get back to you.
Finally, calling yourself a loser = being a loser. Stop and think about what you DO have going for you. You have an income, where a lot of people don't. You have a caring boyfriend, once again - when many people worry about that too.
As for being happy, recongize who you are - start each day descibing yourself in a positive way. (You're unique, you're good, you're small, you're curvy etc), and you will start to believe it.
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You need to put an end to one relationship first. The relationship to all this negative self-talk. What we believe about ourself will be perceived by others and they will believe it, too. You are not the first person that has been the butt of jokes, or felt like the misfit of the group. There is usually one ring-leader of hate in a group who is always looking for a target. Then, there are people who are too weak to stand up to her/him and seem to agree, but don't really. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be anyone willing to combat the problem with you. This means you will have to zero in on it yourself. No one is above reproach, so look hard at what they are saying and ask yourself if there is a kernal of truth in any of it. If there is then own it and put an end to it. You feel powerless, but that is not the way you need to stay.
If you put your mind to it, you will be able to turn things around a little each day. Nothing is black and white. Someone in that office will befriend you, but you need to believe in yourself first. You said that "there's nothing anyone can do because the problem is with ME." Now you are right, but the following is also right. "There's nothing anyone can do because the solution is with Me." Wow! Feel the difference? We choose how we process information and see "facts" and in turn, we decide how to live our lives out and how we feel about the results. You are feeling bad, because the way you have been processing information is bad. There has been a gliche in your system, a bug to work out. You would not throw your computer system away because of a bug, so don't throw yourself away...you are too valuable to lose your sense of self over this gliche!
Start by writing two lists. One for all the things you "fail" at, and one for all your strengths and successes. Take the good list and put it somewhere you see it every day. Repeat them to yourself everyday. Accept these good things about yourself as solid truth. No one can take this from you. Now, tackle that bad list. Are some of those failings things that you are just being really hard on yourself for? Is a clean house really a big deal, or was it your mother's definition of success? Who is really judging you for all these imperfections? Scratch off a few that you do not wish to self-condemn yourself with anymore! You actually created the list, and you are in charge of what gets scratched off. Enjoy it! Take the remaining of the bad list, if there is anything left, and re-label it. These are no longer failings, but areas that you feel you would like to change. Own them! We all have areas we would like to work on. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't, but they do not define us or rule us, unless we give them too much power. Do these exercises and get back to me. I would love to hear how you did!
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Why do you tolerate that behavior at work? Listen, no money is worth the social and verbal abuse that you're getting. Talk to the other employees and tell them that you're not going to take it from them anymore. You need to be the strong one here or else everyone is going to continue lying about you and taking advantage of that. Now, if they don't stop that is something you should consider bringing up with your boss. Again, that behavior is unacceptable especially in the work place. You are not supposed to be disrespected like that for not doing anything.
There is a skill out there that you're good at. Everyone has something, and I know you do too. Realize that when you make a mistake, you must learn from it. If you feel upset for doing it you're just putting yourself down even more. Say "I'll do it better next time". Figure out what it is you did wrong, and try to solve what you can do to prevent it next time.
Exercise strengthens your mood alot. After you've worked out you feel as though you accomplished something. Additionally, the same applies to trying a new activity.
You've got to learn not to give up. You've heard it a lot over the years but it's true. Having this idea in yoru head promotes happiness and self-assurance.
People will start to pay more attention to you if you have a positive image about yourself. There is a girl everyday who comes to school every day frowning, wearing black, and she never makes eye contact. People already get the impression that she's a. lonely b. depressing to be around c. wants to be left alone by society. Meanwhile, she may be in need of friends but no one would ever know because she gives off a bad self image of herself and then people are afraid to talk to her. See what I mean? How you think of yourself does affect peoples opinion of you.
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you might want to change to a different work or you can ask them why they hate you so much? what did you ever do to make them hate you, bring a tape recorder to work and hide it in your pocket and turn it on when you hear them start up again
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Consider joining a group where you can talk to others who feel the same way as you. Also regarding the office thing try to find yer faults (im prtty sure there aren't THAT many) and try to work on correcting them. Rememeber that you are loved and yer family and friends are ready to talk to you when you are ready and to give you advice!
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