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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England

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so my fiance paul is in a band and he said i cant go to any of his shows cuz of this girl emily. apparently paul reminds emily of her ex and seeing him happy with another girl will male emily sad. but paul said emily is gay ans she is married to a women but i found her bra on his floor. what do i do? i love paul so much and i dont want to lose him but i dont know if he is cheating

Is this for real!? Who cares if Paul reminds Emily of her ex. To put it bluntly, Paul is NOT her ex, so she really has NO say in the matter - and definitely cannot stop him from having his own partner there.
I think there's more to this story which he's not telling you. It sounds awfully dodgy and to be honest, if I were you, I just wouldn't put up with it. Have a serious talk with him about it and if he still doesn't care about your feelings as much as Emily's, you might want to reconsider who you're going to marry.

How do i clear up my piercing scar for an monroe

How long did you have the piercing?
I had one lip piercing, took it out not long after and it's completely gone.
Yet I've had another in for about 8 months and you can still see it.
I suggest buying Bio Oil, so you can massage it into your scar a few times a day. It does actually reduce the appearance of scars - tried and tested! but you have to keep up the regime or you won't notice any changes.

I recently made a suicide attempt but failed coz the rope snapped off.now i am in a dilemma whether to kill myself or go on with life.i dont feel confident of having a successful future nor do i have the guts to attempt suicide again.i am confused.

There's always times people feel like giving up.
but what we all learn, is that life goes on and no matter the problem, it can always be helped/solved.

You tried to kill yourself once already. but you're still alive. You've been given a second chance to face whatever obstacles life throws at you and WIN.

I don't feel confident in having a successful career - I'm 23 and have NO idea what I want to do in life. Yes, I have a job, but I don't want to work in retail forever. It's not a bad thing though - it means I get to try new things out and if I decide it's not for me, who cares? That's what life's all about - giving things a go to find out what works for you as an individual.

I don't know much about you, like your age, or why you wanted to die, but I know you are special - not many people have a second chance like you do - maybe this is your opportunity to share your experience with other people who are having similar problems and urge them not to go through with killing themselves, but to fight their demons and shove their middle finger up to their problems and say, I CAN beat you!

Life is a beautiful gift. It shouldn't just be thrown away.

Guys, I need your honest answer as to why you try so hard to be forward and let a girl know you're interested..only to go completely quit and distant one day??? I don't get it. I know this one guy who made it pretty blunt that he was into me, he was always talking and making the first text message move. And now it's like he just hasn't made any attempt to try and talk. I've texted him a few random times within the past week, and he doesn't reply. What can I do to make him go back to how he was acting? Thanks so much!!

I'm not a guy but I've had friends with similar problems.
Most likely reasons are:

1. You aren't the only girl he likes, so he could have lost interest in you.
2. He wants you to do some of the chasing.
3. You didn't make it clear enough you like him back so he moved on.
-You said you txt him a few times in the week, so I added an extra number for you:
4. He can't reply to you with his phone for some reason (lack of credit?!)

Do you actually like him? Or did you just like the attention? If you like him, why don't you just simply ask him why he seems to have lost interest all of a sudden. There's no need to beat around the bush - just say it how it is, so you can know the truth and stick around if you want to or move on.

I'd like to know what happens, so let me know in feedback. :)

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost four months now, and he wants to keep us a secret from his friends and family. I am 14, he is 18 - please no comments about age, we don't mind the age difference at all - and we live far apart. We text all the time, but barley get to see eachother. He doesn't want to tell any of his friends or family - and won't say we are dating on faceboook. He always says he is going to marry me someday and acts mostly like he means it. I don't know what to do anymore, but I love him with all of my heart.

You do realize why he wants to keep it a secret, don't you?
.. because it's illegal for him (an adult) to date you (a minor)
I know you said you didn't want comments about age, but it's for your own safety.. and since it's about you, you may not realize how severe it actually is until someone tells you.

Lots of girls your age have crushes on older guys - but actually dating them is another story. I don't know how often you see this guy or what you get up to when you're together, but it's not right and definitely not safe.

There are serious consequences for this, so before you go on about how much you love him, how about you be the more mature one here (because he clearly isn't) and take all of our advice and break it off with him before things get out of hand.

If I were you, I'd find a boy my own age - someone to have fun times with, where it doesn't have to be kept a secret.
Relationships should be valued - they're meant to be happy - not get you in to trouble.

Please listen to all the advice you have received and act upon it right away and please let me know how it all goes in feedback.

so me and m boyfriend have been together for about a year. we dont live together. I'm in college and was using his laptop to catch up on some homework while he was at work when i was typing something into the top and it came up with past history of him looking at hot sex nude videos among other things. im not sure how i should respond. i feel like i should be upset and angry or am i just over reacting?

A lot of boys look at porn - but then again, a lot of girls do too, whether they admit it or not.
Of course it's gonna bother you - he's looking at other women, whether he finds them attractive or not. Either way, I guess it bothers some more than others.
Just talk to him about it - say you were doing your work and that his history came up when you were typing in the search bar and see what he says.
Don't stress about it though - it's just visual and nothing physical. Remember that :)

I have a boyfriend, we've been going out for a year and I've been noticing he's been acting different like lets say one of his friends said something rude shit to me and he was there and he didn't say anything to him, but when someone is talking shit to him, he expects me to defend him. I always do defend him though. There was one time i didn't say anything when this guy said something insulting to him and i expected him to say something back, but no he didn't say anything O.o and he got mad at me I've also notice that he gets angry when i hang out with my brothers whom I'm very close with. I hang with him and his friends and he would pull me aside and tell me that he doesn't like a certain person in our group because he thinks he likes me or some bull shit. Then at the end of the day he is buddy buddy with him. O.o Isn't that what you call a two face? I don't know, like I don't think i should try to make this work. He pretty much went over the line when he gets mad at me for hanging with family? Think i should ditch the guy?

To be honest, I say give him the boot.
You don't need that crap - a relationship is supposed to be loving, trusting, fun, etc.
Yours doesn't sound like many of those things..
He sounds like he could be controlling, controlling can lead to abuse - I'm not trying to say it's certainly gonna happen - it's just a warning to look out for other signs, as you've said he's started to become angry and jealous already.. what will happen next?

I have had this cold and flu for aprox 2 weeks now the doc said it would be over in 4 days. I've been resting a lot but now its hit my chest I can't stop coughing, I have lost 7 kg in a week, have the occaisional headache, sometimes dizziness and tiredness. Is this normal.?

Sounds more like flu than a cold - flu generally lasts longer and has worse symptoms.

but now if it seems to be reaching other areas, perhaps it's nearing a chest infection or something else which your doc needs to be made aware of.

Either way - you will not get a thorough diagnosis from anyone here, or the internet for that matter. You will need to revisit your doc who will actually be able to examine you and give you appropriate medicine if necessary.

Don't suffer with it, just get it sorted. Ring them asap.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 13 months. I feel so happy when I am with him and he tells me that he feels equally happy. I feel that we have a very healthy and faithful relationship. We are intimate and romantic and it's a beautiful relationship.

I have this feeling where I don't ever want to move on and I just want to stay with him forever. He makes me that happy. and I completely love who I am when I am with him. I want to feel that way forever.

Although I am unsure what the future holds, if I had to pick anyone i'd want to share my life with it would be him.. wanna know why? because i know that if he ended up with me, he would be safe forever. I would protect him. I would not let anything happen to him. Then I would for sure know that he will be okay.. But thinking that he could possibly end up with someone that's not me, is a scary thought for me. It's actually really scary because then I wouldn't be so sure how safe he is, how well he's treated, and how much he gets. Because my darling, to me, deserves everything right. All I want him to be in this world is happy. He's walked me through numerous stages of my life, and I just want him to walk me through more.

That being said, I wonder if he feels the same way about me. I want him to want to be with me forever because i want to be with him forever. But how do i get him to say it if he thinks it? I just want to see if he feels the same way I do. A lot of guys like to hide their sensitive feelings and occasionally, he will come out and say his true feelings, but can you please give me advice on what i can do or say to get his true feelings out of him. I really want to know.. Like what can I do for my boyfriend to get him to reveal everything he's feeling about me? Should I do something emotional? Please help me!!!

THANK YOU:)

I loved reading this - it's just that cute.
You're right - some guys do hide their true feelings and tend to not get as soppy as us girls.. but sometimes it's nice to hear it, right?
Have you actually told him how much he means to you? If you haven't, maybe he's a little scared at making the first move with this sort of thing? Perhaps write it to him? In a letter? Card? Possibly for Christmas?
You say your relationship is healthy - that's great to know - and should be a little bit of a hint he's happy with you and feels strongly for you - after all, you've been together quite a while, now.
Don't be afraid to show your feelings to him - 'cause if he is a little scared to tell you, it will put him more at ease with showing his sensitive side more.
I'm sorry I can't offer much help, it's just one of those things that'll come out naturally.
Have a romantic night together - go for a meal, etc and tell him how you really feel.
I want to know how it all works out as well, so please leave some feedback. :)

do guys hate kissing girls who wear lip gloss

Depends. I know guys who have said how unattractive it is to be covered in sticky gloop when trying to receive a kiss from a girl.. whereas others are just happy to be kissing and don't really care.

Hi!
I just wanted to know what i could use an old house for instead of just a house. I inherited an old house and its really nice and i don't know what to do with it so i'm asking you. Ron 777

Convert it into a bed and breakfast? A pub? Rent it out? It's completely up to you my friend - just make sure you think it through properly to make the most out of it.
Let me know if you decide in feedback :)

How many days are you supposed to study before a test?

It's up to you - everyone has their own way of working.
Personally, if I'm confident, I'd read through the notes every day for about a week before - just to keep it fresh in my mind.
and if I'm not as confident, I wouldn't even put a time limit on it - from the date I'm told a test is coming up, I'd study from that point until the actual day of the test.
Just.. don't leave it 'til the last minute. Tried and tested (with an important exam I hate to say!) ..it won't do you any favours.

Good luck!

hi, me and my boyfriend been dating for fourteen months and we live together. it's just that, sometimes when he sees me texting, he asks me, who's that? you texting your boyfriend? and i told him that's very mean thing to say as u r my boyfriend, and he goes and laugh, says he's only joking. he also says, he doesn't care who i text and he's not bothered but still keeps asking who am i texting. guys, so is he jealous or just winding me up? thank you all.

Possibly..Could just be that he's nosey, though! Sometimes I ask my boyfriend who he's texting, not because I'm jealous, for the simple fact I'm a bit nosey :P Then again, when I'm with my mates, I do the same thing.
Does he act jealous with anything else? Like asking where you are and who you're with a lot?
Have you actually asked him? Next time he says it, say "why do you need to know, you're sounding a little jealous" (in a light hearted, jokey way) and see how he responds.

I'm 11 and my babysitter is touching me wrong.He's 16 and he babysits me everyday after school. When I finish homework and watch tv he makes me sit on his lap and he puts his hands up my shirt.I say stop,but he says its okay and to just come down.Sometimes he even puts his hands down my pants.I know what he is doing is wrong and I want to tell my parents,but I'm to scared what do I do?

Don't be scared, darling.
You haven't done anything wrong, so don't be afraid of getting into trouble.
I'm glad you know what he is doing is wrong, this is why you need to tell your parents right away, so they can put a stop to it.
If you are worried about telling them in detail, write them a note explaining what's going on and leave it on their bed.. just promise you will either tell them or write them a letter, because if you don't, he will carry on getting away with abusing you.
Please let me know when you've told them in feedback.
Good luck.

14/f
which is really important to know for this question that I am going to be asking you.... Well I made up a Christmas list and my family says 1 of the items sounds to boyish for me.. That item is Legos and yes I said legos. I always thought that it would be cool to do like a 5000+ lego activity. Well that is my opinion. What do you think....Do you think that it is to boyish for me?
Thanks.

Gosh, no! Lego is awesome and I'm female and 23! Lol :)
Perhaps they said it because it may sound like a pretty random thing for you to ask for?
Most people do associate certain things with a certain gender - unfortunately, lego is one of them.
Either way, don't worry about it. After all, it's just an activity.
Have fun!

is it true when u sneeze it because someones thinking about you

I've never heard that one before!
The answer is no, though.

You're right . I just am now feeling like I want my child in my own room, and i'm grateful my parents made the room for her and stuff I just don't think I want that at the moment. I was never really given a chance to think about that untill now after they painted the room... I want my baby's crib in here in my room and don't know what i should say

Have you expressed this to your mother?
I agree that once the child is born, you will want it in your room, for the simple fact you're obviously going to want it close to you and it's a lot easier. I don't think moving the crib from one room to another is going to make a massive deal to your parents.
It's not like you're not going to use the room they made for the baby - you can put all the baby's items in there, instead of clogging up your own room and use it during the day time when you're not going to bed.
If you haven't mentioned it, just simply say "when the baby's born, I'm going to want the crib in my bedroom, so i can keep a closer eye on her during the night" - and see what your mum says.

18/f. I just graduated and I'm pregnant. I am now in college I am expecting to have my daughter Jan 3. There has been drama with my family & my boyfriend's family just because of different beliefs, which has been real annoying. My parent's have been doing everything already for my child, and I appreciate that very much. But I feel that's the only help I need and sometimes assistance with my daughter. I can already tell though that there are going to be problems with parenting my child here. We have been setting the room next to mine up to be my daughter's room, it was never really a question it just happened well my mom made it happen. I honestly would like my daughter to be in my room is that foolish of me?

My mom still tries to take everything over like I have gotten medicaid and my sisterinlaw gave my mother the card and my mom never gave it to me when she knew i was going to the doctor that makes no sense to me and she still hasn't given it to me i told her i needed it I wouldn't think someone would need to be reminded that

She already babys the heck out of my nephews and niece it's just so sickening. and with the my child living here around it 24/7 just makes me sick

Things in this house are so unconventional, my parent's don't sleep together, they always need to be more than acknoledge when they arrive, theres never truly any privacy my dad sleeps in a room where you always have to see him to do anything in the house and be asked what you're doing or just feeling the wondering. They don't use the same bathroom so i have to use the bathroom in my mom's room which i hate, I don't plan to take my daughter over there all the time to bathe her that makes no sense. but my dad's bathroom and shower is never kept clean. My mom act's like this baby is coming for her. like she's the one who is becoming a mom again like she always has to take over. It just pisses me off I want to get out. I want my daughter to be sure of who her parents are and not always on and around someone who didn't even want her here in the first place. I just see this allll happening, and I guess it's cause i'm pregnant and I want to prevent it instead of it ever happening at all. It sucks because I'm still a teenager I cannot do anything on my own my mom is the main one who can help because she does nothing all day, which is a contributing factor to this. I am very grateful for them but my mom just takes things to another level and ive told her many times to step back and my boyfriend & his mom already and she still thinks the way she does. I know its messed up to think things could get this way and nothing like this even happens. but idk what is going to happen. I really need advice

Wouldn't it be nice if we all had a huge amount of money, where we could move out and have the ability to pay for everything we need and support a family? That sounds like an ideal life.
Sadly, for a lot of us, it's going to take a lot of time to make it happen.
Especially for you, as you're only 18 years old and still living in your family household.

I live in my family household and let me tell you, it drives me crazy. I don't get as much privacy as I'd like, I can't have whoever over when I feel like and I can't come and go as I please. but that's the price I have to pay because I can't afford to get my own place just yet.
Unfortunately, this is gonna be the same for you, since you can't afford a place of your own.

Your mum has been there and done that - sometimes, it does go to their head a little bit. They seem to take over, because they have more experience.
but I reckon when the baby comes, all the stress you are causing yourself over the matter will soon start to diminish.

You're going to realize that if you did move out, you would find it incredibly hard without help.
Babies are extremely expensive - you have your family to support you through this difficult time and that's one thing you'll probably start to realize.
Also, when you have a newborn, you can't take your eyes off it. You can't bath/shower/nap/paint your nails/put make up on/etc when you want, because you have to pay 100% attention to the baby - when you feel like paying yourself some "me time", your mum/dad will happily look after it for you, another thing you will be grateful for.

First time mums need all the support they can get. It's not about having your own place and struggling, embrace the fact your mum seems so into the fact she's going to have your baby living in the house.

When the baby arrives, you will obviously come to some agreements, you all have no choice - but like I said, are you really surprised your mums trying to take over? It's bringing back memories for her and letting you know she is there for you.
Would you prefer it if she didn't give a damn?

Take a step back and look at it as a whole. What really matters here is the baby.
It's going to be in a home where it can be looked after properly and where money isn't going to be an issue because there's lots of support.

When your mum sees how you are with your child and that actually, you CAN look after it without her supervision, that's when she will start to back off.

I hope some of this makes sense to you right now.
and I wish you all the best for when the baby arrives.

We had a professor who's in his 40's and is really knowledgeable, though an arrogant *** and sometimes vain.He used to make statements like how only the elite were qualified to pursue education and crap like that.We had all complained against his behavior to the Dean, as a result of which he won't be taking any of our classes anymore.During that movement, the leading guy suggested we register a false case of sexual harassment against him so we could get him removed quickly. We, not being in our senses, did that. As a result, he's to go through a lot.Though ultimately he was absolved of all charges and was re-instated.

But now I realize I'm in awe of him and his knowledge, and want to form a friendship with him. NOT AN AFFAIR OR ANYTHING. I just want to be a liked person. But how's it possible since he's not teaching us anymore and is probably disgusted with us for reporting him? I had once written an anonymous letter (e-mail) pouring out my guilt, I really felt bad for it by then...but all I received was a reply stating it was cowardly to withhold name while writing a letter.

So I was going to write another e-mail, (the same one with my name at the end) and send it to him, but then my mom said that he might use it to file cases against me and/or my friends in court. I wanna apologize badly, but cannot. Please give me advice on what to do.

(I'm from India)

Just stop contacting him.
Of course he could use the letter against you if you added your name. It's a confession.
Let this be a very important lesson to you and move on with your life.
Whether you apologise or not, the fact is you still tried to jeopardise his career and expecting a friendship is adding further insult. Sorry it had to end that way.

I cant go to the gym and its cold outside so I cant jog or run. I know I have to eat healthy, but what kind of exercise can I do to help me lose weight?

I can easily lose weight in the summer and during times that i can get out and run... Is it possible I can lose 20 pounds during the winter time?

Have you tried running outside when it's colder? It's not as bad as you think.
Anyway. What I'd recommend is buying yourself a work out DVD.. there's lots to choose from and you can do it in the comfort of your home.
Other suggestions include:
Running up and down the stairs (assuming you have stairs!)
Skipping rope. Do it in your garden or in a room big enough.
Put your favourite show/music on and set yourself a goal (gradually increasing it each time) and do sit ups/push ups.
Just basically keep active! If you drive/get the bus places, substitute it for walking.
Cut out fizzy drinks and have water.
20 pounds is quite a big goal, but if that's what you want to achieve, then really put your mind to it. Don't give up if you don't see progress right away - everyone is different and it takes some people longer.
Good luck!

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