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Will It Be Wise To Expect Friendship From Him after we falsely accused him of a sex crime?
We had a professor who's in his 40's and is really knowledgeable, though an arrogant *** and sometimes vain.He used to make statements like how only the elite were qualified to pursue education and crap like that.We had all complained against his behavior to the Dean, as a result of which he won't be taking any of our classes anymore.During that movement, the leading guy suggested we register a false case of sexual harassment against him so we could get him removed quickly. We, not being in our senses, did that. As a result, he's to go through a lot.Though ultimately he was absolved of all charges and was re-instated.
But now I realize I'm in awe of him and his knowledge, and want to form a friendship with him. NOT AN AFFAIR OR ANYTHING. I just want to be a liked person. But how's it possible since he's not teaching us anymore and is probably disgusted with us for reporting him? I had once written an anonymous letter (e-mail) pouring out my guilt, I really felt bad for it by then...but all I received was a reply stating it was cowardly to withhold name while writing a letter.
So I was going to write another e-mail, (the same one with my name at the end) and send it to him, but then my mom said that he might use it to file cases against me and/or my friends in court. I wanna apologize badly, but cannot. Please give me advice on what to do.
(I'm from India)
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Hi,
Making a complaint about this professors attitude and conduct was all well and good and I agree you should have done. Making false sexual allegations that could have cost this man his job and ruined his whole life however was a truly shocking and awful thing to have done. I understand that you are sorry and you need to take a valuable lesson from this. Thank god he has been reinstated and cleared of any wrong doing! As for if you should contact him again - do not! Nothing good will come of it. Just put it behind you and get on with your life and let him get on with his. You have emailed him to say sorry once. Move on now.
Ashok
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If you tell him who you are, and who was responsible for reprehensible false claims, he should, and probably will, alert the school, if not the police.
So how guilty do you feel?
Guilty enough to accept the legal consequences for your actions? Guilty enough to be kicked out of school? Guilty enough to admit that it was you who did this to him? Guilty enough to turn your friends over the school and possibly the police as well?
Is it too much to expect friendship? Yes. What you did put him through hell - you tortured him all because you didn’t like his attitude. What you did could have cost him everything in his personal life and his professional one.
It is naive and selfish to expect friendship after that. It was cowardly to apologize anonymously.
So how good a person are you willing to be?
Are you just good enough to go around feeling awful about the awful thing you did, or are you brave enough to actually face the consequences for your behaviour?
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Just stop contacting him.
Of course he could use the letter against you if you added your name. It's a confession.
Let this be a very important lesson to you and move on with your life.
Whether you apologise or not, the fact is you still tried to jeopardise his career and expecting a friendship is adding further insult. Sorry it had to end that way.
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Wow, I am amazed at how cruel your actions were. You tried to ruin someone's life with accusations you knew were false. That is pretty unbelievable!
To answer your question, no. Do not contact him any further. You can't undo what you did and trying to connect with him will not make things right.
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I would leave it alone. You nearly destroyed his life. I agree with your mom if you put your name on anything he could use it against you. You sent him one email but I would leave it at that. I wouldn't expect a friendship because even if you do try he may never trust you which will them afect the friendship and how you interact with each other.
Hope this helps.
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Your best bet is to stay away from him, Reporting him was the wrong thing to do and in his eyes he has already been through enough and doesn't want to deal with anything any further. Your intentions were cruel and could of cost the guy is career and marriage.
By trying to create a friendship with this man it probably won't tick him off more then he already is but possibly make others question your statement against him. It looks bad, This man has absolutely no interest in a friendship never mind further contact of any kind. Let it go and stay away from him.
Putting your name on something yes he could use it against you, He could end up harassing you for it and possibly threaten you. Right now, You need to stop trying to contact him because trying to get him to contact you eventually leads to harassment as well.
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