stephanerd's advice column | Page 4

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Website:

E-mail:

honsuki5@yahoo.com

Gender:

Female

Location:

Nevada

Age:

18

Yahoo:

Member Since:

October 31, 2006

Answers:

83

Last Update:

January 19, 2009

Visitors:

7849

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

about

I'm Steph. I'm 18 and I live in Nevada.

I love country music, cattle dogs, border collies, bicycles, dog training and guys. Probably not in that order.

I have a border collie/heeler, a heeler/greyhound, a goldfish, a betta fish, and a Colombian Redtail Boa.

Some other stuff, blah blah blah.

advice

okay, so i'm one of those girls that has a lot of guy friends. Well, one of my guy friends likes me, but i don't like him. i've told him that, but he constantly hugs me, puts his arm around me, etc. i try to be nice and just shrug it off, but it keeps happening. And it'd just be awkward if i said something about it. What on earth do i do?

also, i went to a party that he and his friend went to, and his friend is one of my really good friends, and he and i hung out a lot, and the guy who likes me got a little ticked.

i really really just want him to not like me. it's too difficult! Any suggestions as to what i should do?

You can try punching him in the face :)

what kinda of guy do 15 year old girls like i need this knowlege.. well i would like it i would feel more comfortable.. it would be nice if a girl my age could answer this to make this acerate.. just .. write down how you would like your lover to be like and just so i can explore differnt opnions from ppl thank you so much

15/m

-He's smart
-Loves dogs
-Polite to my family
-Funny
-Easy to talk to
-Someone I can talk to for hours
-Likes good music
-Longish hair helps

Ok. There was this baby i was babysitting and a little kid. i put them to sleep and i was watchin TV. then i heard the baby cry. i ran upstairs and the little kid was ontop of the baby! i do not know hwat to do!! i dont want to tell the parents but the baby might be hurt. HELPP

yeah, tell the parents.

Hello, my name is Beth! I am 15, and I really need help!

Ok! So, I guess I should start at the beginning.

A year ago I started dating this guy, Logan. Well, a couple months after we started going out, this other guy, William, kissed me. Well, I didn't like William that way. I only saw him as a friend. So I told Logan, Logan got mad at Will, pretty soon the problem died down, and it wasn't anything bad anymore. Logan was even comfortable with me being around William alone. So, me and William become really good friends, but he starts crying all the time because I didn't love him back. And I tried to explain it to him that I don't love him. Well, he respected it, but he didn't understand. So, he got alittle depressed, and he wouldn't come near me. Well, I was ok with it. I didn't love him, so no big deal. But, me and Logan started having sex, and my mom caught us, so I wasn't allowed to see Logan anymore, and she started shoving William on me. Well, I didn't love William. So, me and Logan started having problems. We start to go to Missouri on vacation, and my mom invites Will. Will agrees, and so we're on our way. And me and William start having alot of fun! Like, we start dunking each other underwater, flirting alot, having loads of personal fun. Nothing like sex, or anything. But, I call Logan later telling him how great my day is, and he get's pissed and hangs up on me. Well, I can completely understand why he hung up on me, I would be mad if he was wrestling with a girl who loved him. So, something happened. Like snapped inside me, and I didn't want Logan anymore, I wanted William. So I told William that I thought I had fallen in love with him, and of course he was happy as could be. But we couldn't date or anything because I was with Logan. But i've been with Logan so long, and I gave him my virginity. Like, that was the most important thing to me. So it got really hard for me to just let Logan go. Well, William is headed to boot camp in a few weeks, so I decide i'll finaly do it. So I do. And I get alittle depressed, but I have William to tell me it's ok. So me and Will start going out, and I couldn't get any letters the first 2 weeks he's gone. And I really start to get lonely, but i'm determined. Well, we finaly are able to start writing letters to each other, and about a month and a half I get a letter that says,"I can't say I love you enough." Well, I thought he meant he didn't love me enough, but he meant he couldn't say it enough. So, as soon as I misunderstand the letter, I call Logan and ask him to forgive me, because I still don't wanna be alone. Logan forgives, and takes me back like a hero, but later I get a letter from Will that says he DIDN'T break up with me. So I start freaking out, and I don't know what to do. Back at square one. So I dump Logan, and tell William about everything that went wrong, he calls me a few days before he's ready to come home, and we agree that we are still together. Well, 3 days later my MOM gets a break up letter from him that I can't misunderstand. It said he didn't have the patience for me, and that he can't forgive me for the misunderstanding. So, AGAIN i'm back with Logan wondering how Logan could take me back after all that, and William comes home, and he COMPLETELY ignores me. Utterly. I didn't see him the first 3 days he was home, and he finaly sends me a message saying,"You can ignore me like I have been ignoring you, or you can tell me how I screwed up." I told him I was sorry about everything, and that I understood if he didn't love me anymore, but I wanted our friendship back atleast. Well, he agreed, and he came out to see my mom, but he didn't treat me like a friend. He didn't talk to me at all. Well, 2 weeks go by, and I guess he starts trying to make me jealous with my twin sister, which works, but a few days before he leaves to go BACK to Cali he tells Emily, my sister, that he loves her. William wouldn't say something he didn't mean. And, basicaly...

I guess I want William to be happy. And i want to be the one to make him happy. Do I ignore it, talk to him about it, or what?! What do I do to maybe make him like me again...?

As for Logan. He's a great guy, and I regret hurting him. And he's been a part of my life for so long, I don't know how I could bare to keep hurting him. And I think he deserves better than me. I feel bad, but what can I say?...I just don't love him anymore. It would be easier if I did.

To be blunt, William sounds like a jackass. And Logan's getting the brunt of it. You were being very irrational throughout this whole ordeal, and I think you need to get your priorities straight. If you truly want William to be happy, you'll want him to be happy with anyone, not just you. You're young, and you still have 5/6ths of your life to enjoy. Leave William alone, and keep being friends with Logan. Try not to progress into anything more, though, that will awkwardize things too much. It's okay to be single. Trust me. When you do start dating, don't go and flirt with people who like you.

i love my boyfriend a lot and i lost my virginity to him, its just that when we have sex he only lasts about 5 min! EVERYTIME! and its usually always the same position, i want him to last longer and be more spontaneous/wild in bed.. yet i cant say anything or else ill make him feel bad!! how can i get him to loosen up and try different things!! please HELP!

Wear a scary mask.

Well, for starters, I'm a freshman in high school (15/f). I like this guy in one of my classes, and he's really nice and we talk and all, but my problem is that he's a junior. I'm not worried about him using me or anything bad like that. I just don't know if he would consider going out with a freshman. Should I still go for him, or give up before I start? I'm probably going to go for him anyway, I just wanted to see what others think.

Well when I was a senior, I dated two freshmen (and they broke up with me) and now that I'm graduated, I like a sophomore. So yeah, you've got a chance.

hi, i'm brittany. i am a freshman and i am 14 years old. ok-so heres the thing. i've made out with guys before, not many times though, but thats as far as i've been. sometime's i want to give a handjob and go right past getting felt up because i dont have anything, haha. but i have had the chance to give handjobs but i always chicken out because i might mess up or something. i also dont want people to think of me as a "slut" even though there are much worse things people do. how do i know if i'm ready, and is it bad if i give just a friend one?

thanks =)

It seems like a fun time (and it is at the time). You might think "We're friends, nothing bad will happen." or "He deserves one, it's no big thing" or something like that. Well it's not like that. It complicates things. It awkwardizes things. It ruins the mood, but you really need to think about the consequences, and talk to the guy, when he isn't horny.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

my friend and i went out last year
we are really good friends but our friends didnt support our relaionship so we broke up cus it was too hard. we still hangout, and whenever he touches me i get a chill, like a good one, and last weekend he was watching a movie at my house with a couple other guys, and he sat wicked close to me and ran his hand up my leg, and just left it close to my 'area' .. his friends were there so i laughed at him and he just smiled, and i put my feet up on his stomach, and he moved them down a little bit, onto his penis area, so i guess he wanted me to play around a little so i kinda rubbed my feat back in fourth around there under a blanket so people didnt see.. then he took me in the next room (my laundrey room) and picked me up, and started like rubbing his hands undermy shirt and kissing me and stuff, and was like' we should do this more often, just fun you know?' and it is,,, i'm not the type of person to do a 'fwb' and i know a ton of you think its 'bad' or it wont workout,, but we're good friends, and it wouldnt be awkward, and i trust him, so what do you think i should do. like we cant have sex, because we both couldnt do that, but what other things ca help get us going and explain how to do them,, he wants this to be like a fun 2 hours for every weekend, and i do too, we promised to stop when either of us got into a relationship

just advicce on things to do
thanks

Don't do it. Please. I did something like that and now things are awkward as hell, he won't even hug me :( It's fucking heartbreaking, and I don't recommend it at all. And it's actually more awkward when you're closer.

So, I just gave my best friend a blow job. It only took like a minute for him to cum, is that normal? Does that mean I'm just that good? Or just he was really horny? Or that it was his first blowjob, or a mix of those?

It means you're awesome and I deserve a 5

im not going to be too graphic or harsh, because i dont want this to be too inapropriate for the site. this is a serious question, and im not trying to be wise or anything. when you give someone head, do you have to stick his whole penis in your mouth?

Nope. As much as you can, and then use your hands.

If god loves every one then why dose it seem that being gay is wrong. im a big gay rights person and i dont understand how in most religions its like one of the bigest sins

Well, the saying goes "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" but he also made Adam and Eve white. So, black people, Asians, Hispanics, Indians, Native Americans, and all other different skin colors are also abominations, apparently. But according to Leviticus, pretty much everything is an abomination, such as going out in public while on your period, and even ejaculating. I'm straighter than a 2 by 4 but I support gay rights as well, and church just pisses me the heck off sometimes.

About a month ago I got out of a five month relationship and it didnt end on very good terms. I seem to keep falling for guys that will wreck my heart. my question is where are places I can take a fiew of my girl friends to hang out where I can meet a bunch of new guys. And how do i aproach them without seeming odd.

Do you have a dog? Bring the dog for walks, or if you have one in your area, to the dog park. If you don't, ask if you can volunteer at your local animal shelter/humane society, and walk their dogs. I'm serious. Dogs (especially bigger dogs) are man magnets, and if a guy likes his dog and his mom, then you're set. (at least that's what my bible study teacher taught me)

Another thing you can do is go to a church with a youth group. Those can be great places to meet good guys, and it can bring you closer to Christ.

Hi, what are some cute, flirty things a girl can whisper, or say to a boy? They need to be super cute and flirty. I really don't know what to say anymore, but I want to start flirting better and stuff. I know how to flirt, I just want to be BETTER, and say cuter things. ANYTHING will help. PLEASE tell me what some things I could say are! THANK YOU!

Whisper "I'm whispering in your ear" lol. It's not flirty but it'd be funny and break the ice.

im 14, a freshman, and have never had a boyfriend. its odd. i feel so left out since so many people have lost their "IT" (lol) already. i mean i dont want to do that. but i want a bf and plus, i've never kissed anyone either, i know its because of my looks, i mean i've tried everything. i've even tried annorexia. i KNEW it was the wrong answer, so i stoped while i was ahead. oh im a girl, but i guess you caould have figured that out.
sorry if it was stupid.

Well, think about it. You're FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. That's not even 1/6th of the average lifespan. Does that make you feel young? As it should! Your friends, probably around the same age, have lost their innocence. You still have 5/6ths of your life left to do dumb stuff like have sex. I never say this, but I'm proud of every single person on this website who doesn't succumb to peer pressure and lose their virginity.

Or maybe I'm just bitter because I'm a virgin :P

Seriously, concentrate on schoolwork and friends (preferably friends with good morals). That'll get you into a good college, where you can meet lots of great geeky boys. Trust me on this one, if you don't regard any of the rest of this answer= FOCUS ON YOUR SCHOOLWORK IN YOUR UNDERCLASSMEN YEARS. I wish I'd known that, now I'm a flipping janitor, basically, because my grades were crap because I was focused too much on pretty girls and cute boys.

Well idk why but it seems like I have no guy friends at all. I have a ton of friends who are girls, though. I mean, I have friends that are guys but we never do anything outside of school. Ever. I'm too shy to ask them and they never ask me, either. When I do hang out with a guy it's only because one of my friends invites him. I'm thinking that's probably why I don't have a boyfriend, either and why I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years. Sad, right? And I know I'm worrying way too much but now I'm starting to wonder what would happen next year when I go to prom. I mean, who would I ask? I don't think anyone would ask me, since I have no GUY FRIENDS. If I don't have a boyfriend by then I'll probably just end up going alone or not going at all and that'd be terrible because all of my friends have boyfriends and they all have guy friends and they'd probably have a prom date haha. Okay so my question is, how can I get more guy friends to actually be friends with and hang out with, and therefore, possibly get a boyfriend? Thanks.

If the only reason you want a guy friend is so he can become your boyfriend, you don't deserve one.

Guy friends are a special breed. They're friggin' hilarious. They aren't catty bitches. They won't steal your crush, and if you get the right kind, you can talk to them about anything. But you have to deal with some frustrating stuff. They check out other girls, they like boobs, they'll probably try to "get some" from you at one point or another, and some won't stop playing video games. Among other stuff. They're so worth it though. You CAN take guy friends to prom, and it's way better and so much less awkward. You won't be like "OMG i wonder if hes going to kiss me!" (unless you're dumb)

Anyway, just ask the guys that are friends from school if they want to hang out after school. Entice them with something fun, like bowling or touch football or a bike race across town or capture the flag or if you're old enough, a strip club. Or video games. Boys love video games. Just hang out and be one of the guys and laugh and fart and do guy stuff.

does anybody know how you can get someone's password for when they lock the computer after it's idle for a certain amount of time? my sister locked the computer and i need to get on it. thanks

how are you asking this question if you aren't on the computer?

15/f. where is the correct place to spray perfume? like if i buy a perfume that doesn't have a big spray to spray all over...where is the best place to spray it? neck? behind the ears? wrist? i've heard many things.

thanks!

Yeah its pretty embarrasing, but I spray it in the air in front of me and sort of skip into it.

well i'll make this short

i think i like this boy. i sit next to him in one of my classes and we talk occasionally. he is not what you call "cool" but hes cute and nice. he's friends with geeks and popular people too but i feel that liking him is not a good choice.. is it ?

thanks in advanced !!

Geeks are the best. Trust me on this one.

i wanna know how you can tell when a guy is mad at you because my friend isn't even that talkative with me ever since we made out...

Well. I won't go into details, but my bestest friend in the world and I were hanging out one night and some words were said and some stuff happened, and a lot of stuff was talked about that we both wanted to happen, but it didn't, because we didn't want to ruin anything (lol, how's that for vague?)

But anyway, for the next 6 or so days, I acted like your friend. I was sort of awkward and standoffish, and I don't really know why. All day at work, I'd be excited to see him that night, but then he'd get over here, to my house, and I'd be shyer than hell and probably kind of rude. Then I told myself I was being dumb and unfair and I snapped out of it, and now we're closer than ever.

So, what I'm trying to say, is that he probably isn't angry. He's probably just feeling awkward. He'll probably get over it soon. :)

Can you get an std from someone by sharing carmex??

Not unless they rub the stick of carmex all over their genitals.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>