Question Posted Thursday November 16 2006, 8:30 pm
i love my boyfriend a lot and i lost my virginity to him, its just that when we have sex he only lasts about 5 min! EVERYTIME! and its usually always the same position, i want him to last longer and be more spontaneous/wild in bed.. yet i cant say anything or else ill make him feel bad!! how can i get him to loosen up and try different things!! please HELP!
Melody answered Saturday November 18 2006, 12:39 pm: If you and your boyfriend are in a mature enough relationship to have sex, you should be mature enough to talk to him about your sex life. Explain to him that the sex is wonderful, but you would like to try some different positions. If you are like most girls you can tell when he's about to cum. When you can see he is, push him off of you. Wait and tell him you want to keep going as long as you can. Make a game out of it, and ask him to see how long the both of you can go without stopping. [ Melody's advice column | Ask Melody A Question ]
thefish answered Saturday November 18 2006, 1:03 am: You HAVE to talk to him, but that doesn't mean you have to put him down. Start with a compliment. Like, "I really love you, and you're highly sexy. But I want to try something different tonight."
You make it sound like he isn't open to new things, but you'll never know until you try. ;-)
Erronius answered Friday November 17 2006, 3:15 pm: Not saying anything to him is about the worst thing you can do lol, unless you want this to be the way it always is. He should want to satisfy you, and you should tell him he isn't /shrug.
Myself, I've always wanted feedback. If I'm doing good, tell me...if bad, tell me still. If you dont say anything, then its not just his fault, its yours as well.
If he is young, then eventually with age and experience he should get better about the 5 minute thing. But, tell him what you want - if you have specific ideas about the whole spontaneous/wild in bed thing then tell him, bring them up. Hopefully you DO have some ideas, and you arent just bored and putting all the responsibility on him because you dont have any ideas either.
If you say nothing, then really its your own fault. People arent born great in bed, they learn how to be...and he wont learn anything if he is oblivious that you are unsatisfied.
But there are things for him to do many of which have been mentioned already. Wearing condoms cuts down on the sensation for the man, changing positions helps so the man doesnt build up too fast. Same with oral sex, sometimes a man has to put the ego down and recognize when he needs to stop and do something else before he has an orgasm and stops altogether.
Tell him you want sex to last like 30 mins to an hour. Try to make it a goal and to be as much fun as possible. I'm sure he would like that idea. He would probably try to last longer even though I don't think he would make it longer than half an hour (the first time)
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