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April 14, 2006

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February 3, 2007

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Hiya, my names Claire. I'm 16 and I live in England. I live with my dad, my older brother and my younger sister. I have a pretty complicated family situation, so although yours may not be the same, I can probably replate to something of the confusion and hurt people with broken families feel.
I'm a Christian, and I guess that is reflected in most of my responses to questions. Compared to some people, I've had a pretty good 16 years of life so far, not huge amounts to complain about. But there have been times when I've really needed to rely on God to pull me through and he's never EVER failed me. I trust his promises completely, and I depend on Christ with all my heart

advice

im 14 and i used to cut not that long ago. i have stopped but i have random urges to start cutting again. im not sure what is causing this. i think it may be because im gonna be going to high school and im nervous. please try to help me.

Hey there,
I'm sorry you're going throguh this, I know how horrible it is! From experience, I've found the best plan is to reason with yourself. No matter how upset or stressed you are, make a bargain with yourself. Put yourself in control. Here's what you do.
When you feel the urge to cut, say to yourself, fine. I'll let myself cut, but only in 15 minutes. Fair enough, because if you really want to, waiting 15 minutes isn't going to do any harm. So in that 15 minutes, you do something else. And you know all the time that it's ok, because if you still want to, you can do it in 15 minutes time. But before you hurt yourself, you gotta treat yourself, its only fair. Do something you'll enjoy, listen to your favourite band, watching TV, eat soemthing nice, whatever. Just for 15 miuntes. Then, when your time is up, you make a decision. You have 3 options.
a) You cut. You still have the urge, its not going away and you simply cannot fight it any longer. To be honest, I find this doesn't happen that often, 15 minutes is usually long enough to let the urge pass. But if you must, you've made a bargain with yourself, so you can do it now if you want.
b) You don't cut. The urge is gone, your thinking more rationally now, and you know that won't solve anything. Congratulations, go and enjoy yourself, have fun.
c) You wait another 15 minutes. Remember, you are in control of this situation, and this bargain. If you still have the urge, but want to try and wait it out again, go for it. You're in control.

Just keep yourself in control at all times, and you'll be ok. I pulled through it, and i know you can too. God bless.

i was raped when i was younger and i don't know what to do anymore it haunts me in my sleep. I think about it all the time and when i see any of the guys that did that to me i freak out i start crying and they were all over five years ago so i can't go to the police and tell them i was raped i don't know any of the guys names. All i know is that they used to date my mom and when i told my mom that they were doing that to me she didn't believe me. I am now in foster care and i don't ever see my mom. But that fact that i was raped is scary and i need all the help and advice that i can get. so please anyone help me.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. No-one deserves that. And the people who did this to you don't deserve to get away with it. Tell the police. They'll believe you. It doesn't matter that it was so long ago, they'll still be able to sort it. Otherwise this could be happening to other people to. They'll help you get help, and therapy and stuff. Let people help you.
clairejones00@hotmail.com email me if you want to talk any more.
God bless you.
xxx

Im 13 yrs old. and still havent got my first kiss =. i feel like eberyone else has & its really bothering me.& i want to get a boyfriend.

I know its hard, but seriously wait for the right one. My first kiss was with my first boyfriend on Valentine's Day when I was 14, and it was great because I'd been waiting for it for a month while I'd been going out with him. I don't think I'll ever forget that evening. At 13, you're really not the odd one out for having never kissed someone. From the amount of other people that say "I'm 14/15/16/17/18 and still haven't had my first kiss" I know you're not the only one. Save yourself for someone who deserves you!

Okay, well, this July, I'm babysitting a 10-11 year old girl named Maggie. She's a cute kid, but there is one problem. She's completely hyper all the time. She gets nervous alot and really easily.
I just wanted to know if ya'll had any ideas for fun, quiet, easy-clean up games that will keep her situated for a while.
This is a FULL day job, twice a week, $50 a day. I know that seems a lot, but trust me, she's worth it.

ANYTHING that would help me with this will help me because I really need the money.

Thanks a ton in advance.

Teach her to bake cookies or something, kids love making things they can eat. Or if you want soemthing without sugar, try sandwiches, or whatever you're giving her for lunch.

im 23 now and i still havent had sex. ive been waiting to have sex, but now i want to have sex and no one wants to now. is 23 too long to wait?

Not at all. I plan to wait until I'm married. If I never get married, I'll never have sex, because I know my virginity is precious enough to save for the one person I want to spend my life with. And I will only give it to them once we've made that commitment to each other, so I know it's safe. Yours is the same, its so precious, only give it to the one person you know will truly love you. I think marriage is the key. Stay strong and don't sleep with /anyone/ just for the sake of it.

how one can be most success in ones life?

What a philosophical question!
It comes down to what you believe life is about. If it's about making your mark on this world, you'll be successful by having a passion to change something, and doing it, giving your life to that cause.
If it's about relationships, you'll succeed by devoting your time to encouraging others, listening and understanding.
If its about wealth, and career success, it takes hard work, dedication and often ruthlessness.
Or if, as I believe, life is about being truly happy, you can only be successful by relationship with your creator. i believe we're here to bring glory to God, therefore to be successful, and happy, we need to devote our lives and ourselves to Gods work, and whatever he asks us to do. That way, we succeed in living happy, purposeful life, and also doing what we are here to do.

I apoligize if this is in the wrong catagory. I was not sure what this would be considered as, but here is my question: I'm 16/f and I am unsure if I should go out with this guy. I am a devoted Christian and I pray for God to help me through a lot of this. But I am still unsure. I always give people a chance, because I believe that you can't really judge someone until you know them. Well when I met this guy he asked me out, but my other friend tells me he does drugs, he smokes, and he has this "bad boy" reputation. He's a really sweet and caring guy. And I kind of like him. But I don't want to end up going the wrong path if I am with him. And he's 16/m. What do you think I should do in this situation?

If you need more information about this situation you can e-mail me at xxmcrfan15xx@yahoo.com. Thank you in advance.

And I am sorry it's a bit long. I tried making it as brief as possible!

Hey,
The first thing to do, which you are already doing, is to pray. You want to do what God wants, so you need to know what God wants, right? So keep asking Him about it, ask what He wants you to do, ask Him to guide you and give you the stregth to do what He asks, even if it's not what you want.
Next, you need to listen to Him. Remember that God speaks your language. If God wants to tell you something, He'll find a way to do it. It's not your responsiblity to try and decode what God may be saying to you, because He will make it clear. But it is your responsibility to listen.
You can do this by reading the bible everyday, and asking older Christian friends if theres good passages that you could read on this subject. Pray through them with God, and ask Him to speak to you throguh His word.
Also, talk to Christian friends who know the situation. God so often talks to us through friends, and if you can pray about it with them, even better. Read books, Joshua Harris is a fantastic author to read. As someone before me mentioned, I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a great book, as is Boy Meets Girl.
So, my advice is to talk and listen to God, in as many different ways as you can, and He'll stick with you.
My personal advice is to think, "is a realtionship with this guy going to be good for my faith?" Your realtionship with God has always got to come first, so if anything is going to hinder that, it's bad news. You have a great attitude in that you want to give people a chance, but it seems to me that with this lad, maybe that chance should be friendship first, until you know he's definately not going to cause you to muck anything up between you and God.
If you want to chat about this anymore, email me clairejones00[at]hotmail.com
(the [at] is just something I do to stop spammers or anything picking up my adress!)
Good luck and God bless
xxx

Lately, me and my best friend have been on this "tell each other everything" phase. Shes been telling me things that I never even imagined were going on in her mind. These things include, how she thinks she is insane, but would never accept anyones help (her mother tried sending her to a therepist a few years ago, but it backfired), how she has another world in her mind she sometimes likes to escape to, even sometimes she forgets who she is. Before this talk, she seemed perfectly normal to me. She insists she is fine, and insists nothing can help her, and the best thing that is helping is me just talking to her. We have recently decided not to talk about it so much, and she really does seem fine. I would never disobey her trust enough to tell someone else, but is there anything I can say to her that might help her?

I'd say even if you're not going to talk about it so much, find a way to maintain the closeness of being able share everything. When you stop talking like that for a while, its hard to get it back when one of you does want to properly share something. So make sure you're regularly chatting about serious stuff as well as the usual light hearted chatter, and then if and when she does want to talk things through, or think of something you can do to help, she'll feel comfortable enoguh to confide.
xxxxx

Is making out with another guy cheating?????????

Yes. Although, there are people who would say that if you're married, then making out with another guy doesn't count, but you'd have to have an amazingly open marriage...
So yes, yes it is.

what kind do you have?? =] jen

I only have MSN at the moment

claire..for instant messenger..

There's a lot of different instant messengers!

whats ur s/n! mine is J0PEK9

thanksss =]--jen!

s/n for what?

hey my name is jen and im around your age and i was wondering if i could add you into my favs because you seem really nice! thank you! =] jennifer

Wow, thanks! Yeah, sure, I'll add you back [=

if i get a reward from getting like 100 credits, which is like 20% off or soemthing, could i only use that reward towards jeans that ARENT on clearance/sale? and also could i use it if i buy like 2 jeans and a hoodie ? so then the total would be 40% off? please help and tell me anything else and ill rate 5's

I'm sorry, I don't understand most of your question. But I can tell you that if you buy more than one thing at 20% off, it's still 20% off altogether. It wouldn't be 40% off. Hope that helps a little!

ok here's the thing...there's this girl that i really like..but the problem is shes very shy and its hard to get a signal..going to different schools and having different things dont make things easier..i only see her once a week(our families are very bonded with each other) and so our parents and relatives r always in the same room..we barely talk to each other and that makes me nervous..when i stare at her she looks somewhere else or to the floor but doesnt seem uncomfortable..its hard to explain..i do have a crush but im not looking for a relationship..right now i just wanna know if she likes me back before i figure out my next move..can u plzz help me know if she likes me back without having to flirt or do something funny in front of my parents! (they r cramping my style)..she is a twin (almost identical) for what its worth..thnxx and i hope u can help me

Hey,
I understand, it seems pretty hard to tell in this situation how she's feeling, it's alwasy awkward when your parents are around. You say the barely talking to each other makes you nervous, it's probably the same for her! The best way to get someone to come out of their shell is to be brave and come out of yours. See if theres something you two could do together, even jsut for a few minutes, like going to make tea for your parents, or nipping to a shop together to get biscuits when your families are together. Simple things like that, which allow you to spend a few minutes together.
And then be confident! I know it's tricky when you're unsure, to make sure you say the right thing, but don't worry about it! If it helps, think of a few topics of conversation you could bring up. If you're families are close, maybe something funny that happened when you were little, or something general that you can talk to anyone about!
Once you're confident with that, you can start to read her signals back. If she seems to be enjoying the moments you spend together, is laughing along with you and is generally coming out of her shell a bit, make friends with her properly. Invite her out with your mates one weekend or something, not like a date but just chilling. Keep being friendly and the signs get easier to read!
Good luck and God bless
xxx

Alright I asked the stylist to cut my hair like this: http://imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3274/AshleeSimp_Pimen_5265256_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Simpson,%20Ashlee&seq=7

I even took in a picture and showed her.
What I ended up getting was almost 5inches cut off (its now above my shoulders) and these short looking bangs that barely reach my eyebrows.
What can I do with my hair? It won't all go up in a ponytail, and when it just hangs down it looks terrible. My face is not the right shape for this cut, but theres really nothing I can do to change that. Help!

Just go have it cut again by another stylist. Even if it has to be cut short to look good, it's just a change for a while, while it grows back to your old length! Hope it works out,
xxx

female/14 We have a school talent show every year and you buy tickets from one person in your Homeroom who is called your "Homeroom rep". In my homeroom noone wanted the job so we dont have a homeroom rep. I was talkin to my male friend about this and he said he would buy me tickets in his homeroom and we could go "together" my other friend was sittin with us at the time and later was joking around with me about it, saying it was a date and stuff. I think she was kidding, but what if it is? I'm not sure what he thinks it is, and im not even sure what i want it to be. I'm not sure if I like him like that and I dont even no if im just over thinking things. Please help

Your friend was probably just mucking around, I tease my mates like that all the time, but if you wanna see, then just ask him "So, you looking forward to the talent show?" and get talking about it, and then casually slip in to the conversation that your friend joked about it being a date. Just see what his reaction to that is, he might go "haha, that's silly" and find it funny, then you know its not. Just play it by ear. And if you do want it to be, flirt a bit, be confident and sure of yourself, and again, see how he reacts.
Have a good time and God bless.

Okay, so i have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months. We frequently get in fights, over stupid things though. An example is last night, i got mad because he added a girl he used to like on myspace, like 10 minutes after he made one. I wouldn't care, but i liked him while he liked both of us, and he was choosing her over me at the time. And he falls fast for people and i got scared he would drop me for this girl. And i love him to death and i would be so lost with out him, i care too much for him to throw what we have away for some girl.

So i guess what i'm asking is, am i not giving him "space" or am i being too like, protective of him or something along the lines of that?

Have you or anyone you know been like this with relationships?

please help, it will be appriceiated.

I'm pretty much like your boyfriend actually. And I've been with him 7 months too! Anyways, if he's with you, it's a for a reason. He wants to be with you. Let him know gently that you're worried about him falling for someone else, but then drop it. I hate it when my boyfriend keeps asking me about other guys and checking I still love him, so I wouldn't get too protective. As long as nothing changes between the two of you, then you're ok. You'll notice if he's falling for someone else, then you'll have time to do something about it. Otherwise he might end up feeling as if you're smothering him.
Good luck and God bless.

hey, i used to be the former leader of my clique at school. then for some reason the people that i used to lead became retarded and started acting dumb. so i have a new group of people now, but everyone is pretty much individuals. like i wouldnt be able to boss them around. basically they wouldnt let me lead them. what should i do.

Let them be individuals, and be one yourself. Maybe your old group 'became retarded and started acting dumb' because they resented being bossed around. Make a new start with these people, and try being yourself and let others do the same. Hope it works out
God bless

My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and I wrote him a poem in his birthday card called "Your Love". I showed it to my sister and a friend and they both told me it was depressing. It doesn't feel that way to me but I don't want him to think it is so can I get a general vote on this as a first-hand impression. I don't want to make it seem negative or anything...

Your love is wine
Moist in my mouth
It tastes too sweet to be
Something I could drink ordinarily

Your love is rum
Burning my throat
A warm feeling on a cold night
But only for a while

Your love is vodka
Turning my stomach
Dizzy spells leading to insanity
And a carefree state of mind

Your love is poison
Holding my breath
Ending my heartbeat
You make me blind

I think it's brilliant. Not depressing, just a pretty accurate description of love. A lot of that I can completely relate to, and it's just truthful, not depressing. I'd love it if my boyfriend wrote me that. Go for it.
God bless

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